If you changed it to Al Murray you'd be very close
TG = 'Emo' style haircut, tight black jeans that hang down around his arse. A 'Smiths' T-shirt, and pink sunglasses - even in the winter.
Definitely got a mullet, wears stripey jumpers [like 'where's Wally]. Has brown cords, and black Oxford Brogues. Only ever shops in John Lewis and Co-op.
Or phone them up and ask them to redeliver on a day you know you'll be in...
Failing that, ask them to deliver the items to your local post office for collection...
I once strangled a kid and had to be pulled off him by my brother, because he stuck a stick in the spokes of my sister's bike and she went over the handlebars.