coalman

I'm looking forward to Ankersen's next TED talk which I sincerely hope isn't going to be a protracted and earnest apology.

Nuff said. ChatGPT should be giving our press conferences. Give a press conference in the style of Nathan Jones, manager of Southampton football club after losing 3-0 away to Brentford in the Premier League. Good afternoon everyone and thank you for being here today. I’d like to start by saying that I’m extremely disappointed with the result from yesterday’s match against Brentford. Our performance was far from what we expect of ourselves and I take full responsibility for that. But let me tell you, we are not going to dwell on this defeat. This is a game of football, and we understand that ups and downs are a part of the sport. We will pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get back to work. I’m extremely proud of the players that we have on this team, and I know that they will give their all in the next match. They are a talented group of players and I have no doubt that they will bounce back from this. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the fans for the disappointing result. I understand that they have high expectations of this team, and it’s my job to make sure that we meet those expectations. In conclusion, I would like to say that we are not giving up on this season. We will continue to work hard, stay positive, and strive for success. I’d like to thank you all for being here today, and I’ll take a few questions if there are any. Rewrite that in the style of someone who is having an angry nervous breakdown and is trying to shift blame to the players while bragging about his achievements as his previous club. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me tell you, I am completely and utterly FUMING right now. I mean, what the hell happened out there yesterday?! I want to make one thing very clear, this loss is NOT on me. I'm the best manager in the business, I brought that team from the bottom to the top and I'll do it again here. No, this loss is on the players. They let themselves and the club down yesterday. And let me tell you, I won't tolerate this kind of performance. I mean, come on! I've been in this game for years and I know what it takes to win. And I'm telling you, these players just don't have what it takes. I'm not going to stand here and take the blame for this disaster. I've got a reputation to uphold, and I'm not going to let a bunch of underperforming players tarnish it. And let's not forget, I've been successful wherever I've gone. I took that team from the lower leagues to the top of the table, I won the FA Cup, I've got a record that speaks for itself. So, let's not forget who's in charge here. I'm the one calling the shots, and I promise you, things are going to change. These players better shape up or ship out, because I will not accept this kind of performance again. Now, if there are any questions, I'll take a few, but be warned, I'm not in the best of moods right now.

I think the problem is that the board has listened to too many people to their detriment. They've tried to give people what they want. But that's not going to happen any more. They're going to do things their way because statistically they have been the best in Europe. And on an absolute shoestring.

I think you'll find that's being "caught on his heels" 🤪

According to Merriam Webster's dictionary it means front foot noun : a foot measured along the front of a piece of property called also foot front

You would think that being a good communicator would be one of the things they'd assess during the hiring process. The Chewbacca Defense only works in a court of law.

Please please please please please please please I would also be ok with Bielsa or Benitez

Luton is the feeder club for managerial appointments to Europe's elite for a reason.

When you're asking people to share an answer that they may be ashamed for or that might lead to them being ostracised it's safer to make it anonymous. It's not ok to out people.

He was the BEST in Europe. The BEST.

I sincerely fucking hope so.

Maybe the team is on the coach home already?

Did he really just say that he was the best in Europe during his time at Luton?!?!

Jo Tessem went to town on him afterwards.

Waiting to see if anyone breaks cover and votes no.

His interview on Radio Solent is mental. "I was the best". "That's not my team". "I don't recognise myself in that team".

"I didn't listen to people and it was to my detriment"

Selles is getting fired on Monday then. Reminds me of the old management joke. A new CEO was hired to take over a struggling company. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run into serious trouble,” he said. Well, three months later sales and profits were still way down and the new CEO was catching a lot of heat. He began to panic but then he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, “Blame your predecessor.” The new CEO called a press conference and explained that the previous CEO had left him with a real mess and it was taking a bit longer to clean it up than expected, but everything was on the right track. Satisfied with his comments, the press – and Wall Street – responded positively. Another quarter went by and the company continued to struggle. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize.” So he fired key people, consolidated divisions and cut costs everywhere he could. This he did and Wall Street, and the press, applauded his efforts. Three months passed and the company was still short on sales and profits. The CEO would have to figure out how to get through another tough earnings call. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, “Prepare three envelopes.”

Nathan Jones "People say I don't know what I'm doing, but I actually do"

He's in with a realistic shot of being worse than Steve Wigley. He's already nearly up to the losses count in about half the games. 0.33 points a game now.

I reckon Jones is finally going to shift that bogey any week now.

If you want a manager capable of scraping through cup games against lower league opposition with a premier League squad. Jones is your man. If you want to stay in the premier league maybe not

That's shored up their midfield for them.

Today we had a real chance to go clear at the bottom of the table. Just needed results to go the right way. And we have stepped up.

Now if everyone just look like they're having fun