hamster

S******

Crabs don't drink alcohol though, jokes need at least a little plausibilty shirley

We could always call Puncheon back in an emergency.

Weird ----- We shall see then.

Tbf, I did say sorry to The9 at the time as that was 100% an accident as I didn't realise he was so slow. Plus dp told me to do it just like willy wonka has told me to take any other mouthy little ****ers out forthwith.

Homer ------- Yes, liking it v much. Can you keep a secret?

It's as much a visual joke tbh A true story that may amuse you though is the time I was on a stag night and got so drunk that me and my mate woke up in the tiger compound at Marwell. the tiger spotted us and drooling he began slowly creeping toward us. I pulled a pair of traners from my rucksack and started la ing them up. "You'll never outrun a ****ing tiger you idiot" said my mate. "I ain't got to outrun no tiger, I only got to outrun YOU ......idiot".

....and, NO,I am not experiencing a quiet period at work ATM and neither do I expect this to change in the foreseeable future. Pleased for those who are though.

If you can find me a nice old Pembroke with a three quarter length drawer I might throw you a nifty (delivered of course)

Me Tharzan

I am surprised that Clinton Cards haven't jumped on this one, their loss. I actually think they've really missed an opportunity to cash in. No-one taking the plunge today then? Dune, how about a symbolic throwing your fags off a mountain moment?

Good man. I put it to you that the biggest mountain you will ever climb would be to leave those JPS on the shop shelf? Stfu hamster, you sound just like that really annoying **** who almost drives you to violence every time you spark up with his words of wisdom and disdain. Ignore me dune, don't take any unnecessary risks up there (ie make sure you carry spare lighter and store your cancer sticks in a waterproof bag)

I thought this gonna be a petition to have my mate Deppo banned again.

I think I may be correct in saying that today's religious festival has been hijacked by the pro-health lobby and smokers across the country are encouraged to make the decision to quit I have personally 'quit' many times and many times have failed. No shame in that and coincidentally the good book has something to say about the road to hell being littered with good intention (iirc). Anyway, my advice to anyone having a go at giving up is to do it tomorrow, do it quietly and expect it to be painful. Don't expect a sudden surge in rude health and you most definitely will not feel richer financially all that will happen is that you will increase your chances of seeing Saints win the Champions League. Good luck NB Ever the hypocrite I gave up again yesterday.

/\ Appreciated blood. Fools rush in though and believing their own hype they forget that it is a jungle out there and would do well to read up on the fables of Aesop, in particular the one about the elephant and the mouse. Brain vs Brawn? Do the moth

Your name has duly been added to my list big man. I actually lied about my height Mikey The Man Mountain, still think you can take me if I add the missing 2 inches? A d I do not wear specs in bed, I think after all these years I can find my wY around and anyway, I tend to take a more laid back role nowadays, I think I've earnt that.

I'll keep my ear to the ground mate. My nipper paid to enter a similar 'race' a few years ago but his co-pilot pulled out at the last minute so he scrapped the car and cut his losses. Good luck anyway, sounds like fun.

Hopkins

Jet Mrs b, you are naughty, you do know that don't you

I will ask HIM when we next speak.

If you want to wake up tomorrow with a crowd around you then I will grant your wish. Be warned though, much like the unsheafing of a sabre, once I remove my glasses I cannot put them back on until blood has been shed. Your move, use it wisely. This would be a good time for you to climb back into your giraffe compound LOL.

Jo-an Fondew The result of some hair-brained Frankinseinian experiment to combine a (Premier League) managerial genius with a deft-of-foot defending, 6 yard box bullet-like goalscoring, pony-tailed God. ;-)

Lol, you really think it matters don't you. It only matters in that you have further to fall. Your move, lurch.

There's a punchline in there? The best lobster joke ever is the one about the lobsters who get barred from a pub.

....erm ....... so so .....