You are both right and both wrong.
My brother and I are poles apart in the way we have led our lives. If we were a Downton Abbey episode, he was the one who looked after the mansion and devoted his life to the old ways, and I was the one who drifted in and out, stole some of the family fortune, knocked up a kitchen maid and then buggared off for another five years.
We never talk about family and "close" stuff. I was surprised to learn from my daughter last week that for all these years, we have both been jealous of EACH OTHER!! OK, Maybe him a lot more than me, but the point is, you just have to find out the hard way. Probably best to not make life-changing decisions based on the opinions of old farts on an internet forum.