notnowcato

I think I'm turning Japanese

Alan Pardew has told his Newcastle players to forget about the Wonga deal. 'Just get out there and give me 4107%!'

You can review previous seasons all you like, simple fact is that 4 points from home games versus Wigan, Villa and Fulham is as clear an indicator of our likely finishing place this season. We will flirt between 17th and 18th spot.

Computer says 230 days before you can justify calling them bad purchases. HTH

Owen Goal is our top scorer.

He's a ccok. He's a ccok amongst ccoks.

Can the Mods just set a sticky up? Just like the HCDAJFU - Premier League edition one we had in the off season, call it "Adkins - Out" and let the vocal minority spank themselves silly in there.

Piers Morgan

No surprise that you have no comeback to my "hitting of nail on head". Anyway, back to your principled fight for justice....

In that case can we either: a) Lock this thread. b) Change thread title to "needs some attention".

With that manifesto you get my vote. Nurse?! NURSE!!

I shall spoil my ballot paper from here on, none of the major parties are worthy of my vote.

To be fair it was a press made up story and now they've turned it on the club as though the speculation emanated from within. Gutter press.

Different gravy.

Inscribed on a grave stone in the US. FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE : 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.

Yes, I know how to make the best Irish Coffees. No, I've never worked at Pizza Express. Which dumb mod merged these treads? To get the perfect floater make sure that the upturned tea spoon is touching the inside of the glass just above the coffee and poor the cold double cream on very slowly. I prefer Tia Maria to whiskey in my floaters. I am not dune.

Seems the Mods draw the line at F3LCHING. shame.

I'm confused. Is Bletch Marilyn Monroe? *****.

I still can't believe Rickie Lambert cost £1m. What a joke.

All suitable suffixes for Tokyo. Tokyo-Saint as a pseudonym is a bit 2011. Tokyo-Bumhole has a certain ring to it.

Rosie Lea

I've tried an instant coffee that Starbucks sell, it's the best I've tasted. As a rule I'm a cafetiere man, I'd rather drink my own pish than instant coffee. Just sayin'

Are you saying NA does not know the required fitness levels?

A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back. The host asks him, "And what are you?" The man says, “I’m a snail."* The host says, "And who's that on your back?" And the man says, "That's Michelle."

Frankly, if it's the same "guy" that has a snail knocking on his door I'm not surprised he's a bit mental.