notnowcato

I'm confused. Is Bletch Marilyn Monroe? *****.

I still can't believe Rickie Lambert cost £1m. What a joke.

All suitable suffixes for Tokyo. Tokyo-Saint as a pseudonym is a bit 2011. Tokyo-Bumhole has a certain ring to it.

Rosie Lea

I've tried an instant coffee that Starbucks sell, it's the best I've tasted. As a rule I'm a cafetiere man, I'd rather drink my own pish than instant coffee. Just sayin'

Are you saying NA does not know the required fitness levels?

A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back. The host asks him, "And what are you?" The man says, “I’m a snail."* The host says, "And who's that on your back?" And the man says, "That's Michelle."

Frankly, if it's the same "guy" that has a snail knocking on his door I'm not surprised he's a bit mental.

That's the point though, no **** follows through with the Rule 1 request. Making the request devoid of meaning. Devaluing the Rule 1 etiquette. On your forum head be it. As for our in house optimist, Alpine, I imagine his missus stood half a stride behind him vigorously imitating a masturbation action or the classic clenched fist thrusted towards open mouth with tongue inside cheek pushing the cheek out. Actually, I bet she dominates his ass and is rarely out of rubber.

Dear Bearsy Could you find it your heart for the New Order Saints Explorer web thingy infract for the use of the oft repeated, rarely funny "Rule 1". Don't get me started on the classic "sauce" or pictures of nuns. You get me? NNC

I can picture Alpine's missus spilling some of his pint on the way back to her master... You guessed it, she returned with glass half empty.

Is this "guy" a "friend of yours"?? A cyclist from Portsmouth has been run over by a bus. He is still alive but only just. Police are urging the driver to come forward.

Tsk, Tokyo, Tokyo... Snails actually have a very good sense of direction and it would take sustained trauma to the poor snail for him to lose his inner compass. Simply lobbing the harmless gastropoda over the neighbours fence will not stop the wee fella being back at your doorstep in less than 2 hours.

Hmmmm... wait a minute! I doubt even a nubile Fatima Whitbread could launch said snail more than 100m and given that your average garden snail can cover 50m in an hour, all is not what it seems here. Something is a bit fishy.

Great our record signing can help the defence. Get back in your hole, negative man.

No! It must be new and it must be shiny.

Frankel for me.

During his visit to Northern Ireland the Pope asked Paddy what he thought of County Down. Paddy replied "It's shet since Carol Vorderman left."

Sign outside a butchers... "Our lovely pork and bacon bangers with just a hint of cumin"

Eliminated?? Surely you mean "Embraced"?

I know, your Italian Tank impression is a sight to behold.

Punch has only started putting a shift in now we are in the Premier League. Not the type of character to rely upon. His reaction to Ramirez coming in could be telling. Competition is at least healthy for that spot. Is that J-Rod written off then? He is a much better prospect leading the line than playing on the left. At the moment it will take an injury or suspension to Rickie for J-Rod to get his chance but I would hold off judging him until he's had a run of games up front.

It's not rocket salad is it? J-Rod covers Rickie. Mayuka brings much needed pace. Ramirez is better than Puncheon. You don't know how good Gazza or Yoshi are but dispute they are good enough.. Yoshi plays left back for Japan tonight, having captained them at centre back in the Olympics.

"Comprend" was a nod to a dodgy 80s comedy show - guess you had to be there.

There is currently 9 hours difference between London and Sydney, 8 hours between Turin and Sydney. 11am in Turin = 7pm in Sydney. Comprend??