the stain

There's no point referring to anything else as cricket

I'm melting!

Fair enough.

That's right Pancake, you just sit down with your Leona Lewis CD and stop making a scene. Clear the way for the people raging against the machine to... get better product from the machine?... have more chance of a career working for the machine?... get a Christmas card from the machine?... no, I still don't think I'm quite getting it.

Crouchzinho rather skews the stats there Good effort btw, Stevo.

Fair enough mate. Strikes me you're yearning for a halcyon time that never existed, when the charts were full of great bands with bags of integrity. Rather than what has always been the case, which is that the charts are full of pop (even in the magical 60s!) and the occasional decent tune gains popular acceptance. Cowell is very clearly good at what he does and is merely the latest in a very long line going back to pre-WWII times of people peddling anodyne pap to a consumer public who only want to buy that tune they keep hearing on the radio. If they want the X-Factor winner, that's what gets to number 1. Whether that's 'right' or 'wrong' is open to a little bit of debate I suppose. People who care a bit more about their music just plod on and listen to the music that they like. Basically I don't think the record industry is going to get the message you think you're sending. They're going to see that: - The X-Factor thing still sells loads of product - There's a huge market that sees itself as anti-establishment but will still buy our products - There's still a lot of money to be made out of an established act's back catalogue (look at all these people who went out and bought a song they already owned) - There's no one tune or band about at the moment that enough people like to make it a hit, so it's probably best to keep manufacturing pop The idea that this is 'anti-establishment' is the thing that I'm calling silly. It's a jostling for greater acceptance and recognition in the mainstream. Look at me, I'm a market too. (p.s. I'm glad Tom is giving some of his money to charity, I'm not completely cynical) (p.p.s. The Prodigy, 'anti-establishment'? Give over...)

St M, I didn't need them. Really and truly, if you want to get the RATM tune to Xmas number 1, good luck to you. I just think it's all a bit silly. If it's a matter of people buying the music they like then why does there have to be a campaign? If it's a statement about corporate pop, they should've chosen a song that wasn't on the same major record label (which Cowell has shares in and is employed by). Tom Morello supports a scheme that will make him significantly richer than he already is? He's also suggesting punters take this opportunity to demonstrate to the record labels how best to represent them as a market share? His ethics have clearly slipped out of his arsehole since he originally cut that tune. I bloody hate the X-Factor phenomenon and all the music it produces, but at least Cowell is a straight up salesman and makes no bones about it.

He makes a better point than pretty much anyone else on here.

Sho'nuff. You should also check out the others in that loose trilogy, Sympathy for Mr Vengeance and Lady Vengeance. Also by the same director, but f::cked up in a much more family-friendly way (and quite touchingly so), is I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK. Another touching fantasy-comedy about mental illness.

My favourite of the current bunch (if we accept that Barry Davies has pretty much been relegated to the gymnastics) is Jonathan Pearce. If you can get past his shrieking voice, he actually seems to both know and care about the game, and doesn't get carried away with all the hyperbole and sycophancy of most commentators.

There are some commentators and pundits I dislike for being crap and (unjustly) there are some I love for the same reason. Dislike: Motson - Always talking about a game 20 years ago, never talking about the action. Birtles - The very definition of 'wise after the fact'. Gray - Believes his own hype and now tends to commentate with one ear on the clip they'll use on the trailers next week. Like: Kamara - Endearingly tongue-tied at even the mildest excitement, I often wonder what he's like at the point of orgasm... Crooks - Delivers the blandest, most pointless comments as boggle-eyed rants of unchallengeable defiance. Souness - Absolutely will not be persuaded to smile, take part in chummy Redknapp banter or in any other way deviate from the very serious truth of football.

Bah! Lost heavily to my only real rivals and so pipped for top spot. Ho-hum, I'll be stronger next year. Already promoted one of my senior players to a coaching role, which ought to provoke an improvement. There's some more deadwood to be cut from my squad, and at least three very promising youth players to promote so hopefully will be able to avoid spending too much. If all goes to plan I can allow for a little stadium expansion...

Hello Pancake, would you be so kind as to pencil me in for a crack at this? I've caught up with the modern world now...

********.

Dark times in the horse's mouth. Dark times

Word. Which pop bands would you pick? I'm looking forward to Busted's double-album of excoriating white noise guitar with hand-bells and clapping.

Just to confirm: - Alan Pardew was in Winchester yesterday - Alan Pardew remains in Winchester today - Alan Pardew will remain in Winchester until he consents to being gay There is nothing sinister about this, I just need him close to me.

It's a fairly decent deal on spirits, but it only really brings the wine down to the price they should've been selling at anyway. Some of the wines that Wickham have brought in to the Winchester branch are pretty tasty and it looks like they might be going for a slightly more sensible pricing policy. We'll have to wait and see.

Sorry Uncle Ponty, it wasn't really directed at you, just at the campaign itself which all of my Facebook friends have asked me to join. I'm not going to buy it either.

Mental.

"**** you, I won't do what you tell me! **** you, I won't do what you tell me!... Everybody sing along!"

But... but... everyone's going out and buying this one tune, because someone has organised it as a reaction to the mass-marketed pop that would otherwise be Christmas number 1... and a song with the refrain '**** you, I won't do what you tell me'... And if anyone really, honestly was that anti-corporate they would neither know nor care what was at number 1 in the pop charts... and... and... You might as well all put your hands in the air and say, 'Ooh please, Mr Record Executive, I don't feel my music product consuming needs are being effectively marketed to. This is the group I feel part of, tell me what I should like!'

I was going to say a similar thing about The Matrix, but then would have had to have gone on to explain how I think it's a rubbish film but that he was certainly competent in it. And I didn't want to do all that typing. (And I don't like Platoon either)

The difference being though that Keanu is a limited actor who should only play himself (Speed, Bill & Ted), but occasionally tries to stretch himself, with ball-achingly poor results (although I thought he was quite good as the violent redneck in The Gift).