the stain

Do they have to be metal, or can it be anyone? John McLaughlin John Fahey Johnny Marr John Martyn plus some others not called John. Jim O'Rourke Loren Mazzacane Connors Prince

They won't feel a thing. Your first goal? Lawks. I beat the second place team at the weekend and swapped places with them. Still 6 points off the pace for first, but suddenly, tantalisingly, the manager of the table-toppers has pulled a 'mutual consent' and gone off to spend time with his family! Their players are still streets ahead of mine but there's a glimmer of hope that I might overhaul them. My first choice keeper's crocked though...

I've sent you a little challenge for your little boys.

Exactly. The worst mistake one can make in trying to understand other people, or in trying to get on with other people, is to lump them all together and say 'this is what xxx is like', 'these are the demands xxx group is making'. Yet that's what the media of all persuasions love to do. Muslims aren't all extremists/terrorists. People on the political right aren't all racists. Part of freedom of speech is a responsibility not to over-react when you hear something you don't like. That's everyone's responsibility. Otherwise the whole thing doesn't work and we all end up name-calling and eventually fighting.

Nothing of the sort, it's a serious question. Why shouldn't a lot of people be fooled by the same thing?

Why not?

It does look like you've landed on your feet with a couple of those players, particularly the keeper. How many of those were scouted, or did you just have an impressive bunch (fnar!) to start with?

I always found if you feed them some line about their house being on fire, they get in a panic about their children and fly away home pretty sharpish.

Lucky Jim, by Kingsley Amis. Funny, very funny. Actual genuine lol funny. And I'm a grumpy bugger generally.

My kids are on fire! It took a season or so to get them up to speed, but today's 7-0 riot has showed the value of perseverance. My rock in defence is regularly making 6.5 star performances. Can't wait till he's old enough to promote! Does anyone with a bit more youth team experience know if there's any value in changing your scouts? I'm slightly concerned that for the last few weeks they haven't turned up anyone particularly interesting. Might try shifting them to scout in other areas but I was wondering if maybe their usefulness deteriorates over time in the same way that a coach's does..?

This sentence is making me dizzy and nauseous...

Yeah, 5*s is about the standard seemingly. By which measure I've got 3, possibly 4 ready to make the jump at the end of the season. I just reckon that if I'm going to make a serious push for promotion, I need to start bringing in a couple of seriously good players. Previously I've bought players at 'solid' skill standard, but anything above that and the price starts to jump up dramatically. So unless I strike it really lucky with some of the nippers I'll have to sell and gamble.

Fair trade where possible. Ought to be across the board but it's hard work as a consumer to do all the research on every product. You've got to give the producer a decent deal IMO, but I'm from farming stock so I probably would say that. Not too fussed about the 'organic' thing. It's such a catch-all term that it's pretty much meaningless, unless the producer can define on each item exactly how the product is and is not 'organic'.

I remember when Peel introduced a new Pavement song, which he initally took to be called 'Rattled By Ian Rush'. Can't remember whether Saints won that day or not. Sorry. I just wanted to help. Sorry.

Struggling to find decent full backs for the youth team atm. Which is a shame as that's the area I was hoping to feed cheap talent through to the senior squad. Still, another win for ADIII this weekend pushes us up to 3rd, behind the two teams that beat me earlier in the season. I get the feeling this might be my level. Certainly not looking at promotion this year. Need to find a way of making a bit more cash, other than another rebuilding project. Any ideas?

"Shipman, Bin Laden, Stilgoe, Haystacks They were all hiding something and that's an actual fact 'Whispering' Bob Harris - why was his voice so soft? Had he murdered a prositute up in his loft?" Men With Beards (What Are They Hiding?) - **** & The Gang

One of many mistakes your making there is treating all the public sector workers as the same (along with mistaking the RMT as somehow representative of how unions work, and seemingly having missed the thrust of my post entirely). I can obviously only speak for myself and my organisation (unlike you who seem to be able to speak for everyone, you tedious blowhard), but our eye-watering payrises have amounted to a decrease in real terms in each of the last 5 years. If I indicated anywhere that I wasn't grateful I had a job, that wasn't my intent. I just resent the implication that anyone employed by the government is living high off everyone elses tax pound.

I always preferred The Firm.

That's right, cos in the public sector we all earn too much money and aren't accountable to anyone over how money is spent. And none of us have to take a second job to pay the rent. Cos we're all minted and always on holiday and bathing in champagne and laughing our nuts off at the idiot tax payers. I already got the boot once, from the DWP, because of 'Whitehall cuts'. And I honestly only work in the public sector because i want to perform a useful function rather than make money for some qunt. Whoever it is you perceive to be on a 'gravy train' (and they almost certainly aren't), they're never going to be the ones hit by Davey C's reforms.

It's a book about a whale, for penis's sake!

I've been reading about whales. Leviathan, by local boy done good Philip Hoare. Not much about fascism in there. But despite a lot of grim stuff about how we've nearly killed the lot of them, it's quite eerily magical. Gives you quite a yearning for these enormous unworldy creatures of the briny deep. And it's made me want to read Moby **** again even though I hated it as a teenager.

Valley Studios in Winchester, if you get stuck for places in Southampton.

\\:D/

Another cracking victory at the weekend. Looks like mid-table is the best I can hope for this season though, while I save my pennies for some big money signings. More injuries in defence too

Oh lordy! I see the reason for his tittering schoolgirl shyness now.