Jillyanne

No, she was joking although she can spell 'your'.

Well tbf, he could buy a simple frying pan or food mixer endorsed by a celeb chef - us women like this endorsed stuff, it matters - apparently. My dad bought my mum a basic frying pan for valentines day years ago and she never forgave him, even said it was one of the reasons she divorced him. Me, I would be over the moon with an iPhone, even happier with a Blackberry or a Macbook.

Well done, in that case she really is ungrateful. Send it back and buy her a Wok endorsed by a celeb chef or something.

Read the instructions yourself and then teach her how to use it - extra brownie points for you.

Well I read it all and it is good.

Bit harsh on Santa Rob.

Oh dear, you really are one angry little man aren't you, merry christmas. Lol @ you paying to insult people, brilliant.

Just the one ride right at the end - very severe drop, there are warning signs before you get on anyway, to be fair, if you are ok at Alton Towers then you will be fine on it, let me know how you get on. Enjoy.

It is brilliant and at one point (I won't give it away - but sit at the front of the river boat if you can) scared me more than I have ever been scared before! Don't go on the final ride if you have any sort of bad back/neck though.

Visit this attraction over anything else, truly brilliant!

Well I am interested!

Tbf, there is not an awful lot of meat on them bones! Why did you become a vegetarian?

That looks utterly horrid.

What is that?

Yes, in the evening.

What is everyone having then? I am now going to my mums rather than staying on my own as she is now not going to Spain. She has decided to bin off the turkey and tells me we are having roast lamb. You lot?

Tis true I tell ya, many a crew member on the ships I have crewed have done it before being breathalized (sp) by the captain and it has worked.

You should tell them this litle gem.

If you ever find yourself with the police pulling you over and you know you will be over the limit, suck a 2 pence piece hard in your mouth and the breathalizer (sp) won't be able to pick up the alcohol in your breath - true story.

Never had one.

Boom tish!

Very good point.

There is a homeless person who stands outside A-Plan in Eastleigh, lately he has taken to wearing a santa hat, he is a miserable looking bastard at the best of times and the hat has not helped him look any merrier.

Today - nothing, feel very ill Sat - nothing - will be ill Sun - nothing - will be ill Mon - shopping Going to be a blast.

Well you are a Libran - the most loving sign of the zodiac.