saintbletch

I wish you word bores would just shut up. You're boring the crap out of me (not literally. Homo...). So does hanna mean nose in both senses that we can use it? i.e. the facial appendage and the smell that something like wine gives off. I'd always assumed Japanese might be a little literal for word puns. I don't know why. I'll ask more questions on your thread as people are trying to vvank here.

Very good Toke! Very good indeed. So it did smell Brown after all. Now that's a homo thing on more levels than I can tell you. I'll make a word-bore out of you yet. Perhaps you could do the Japanese word boredom thing and I'll carry on the English word boredom thing. Do they have homo things in Japanese?

That is an attitude that does you great credit bpsaint. If more people had sheathed their device last night, we would now have loads of lurkers coming out of the woodwork to post messages of post-ejaculatory congratulations to the bear. So in fact, anyone that doesn't go on record to thank the bear for Chapter 8 pretty much owns up to either a) drowning their keyboard last night in guy gloy or b) working through profound psychological issues relating to mutually masturbating with other Southampton Football Club fans - albeit at a distance.

I guess you're best placed to tell me if calling me an enigma is a homo-thing or not. But it doesn't smell brown to me. It's not enigmatic behaviour Toke, it's reverse, reverse, reverse psychology. As soon as I'd posted, hypochondriac felt magically compelled to post stating that he's still lurking. The pysychology got to him and he couldn't help it. He didn't realise that the hidden hand of Bletch was working him from inside - glove-puppet style. You've seen my impassioned pleas for posters to return to The Muppet Show from earlier in the Summer. I love that we've got passers-by but I want them to introduce themselves and play with the bear for a while. Aside from your Japanese language classes, the bear is our biggest draw to get the main board types into TMS. And as you say, I love to see people enjoying a book - even if it is by proxy and even though the subject matter is cl1t-lit. It's great to see people all over the south of England (and suewhistle in Italy) stroking their cats and dogs while Bearsy reads stories to them. It's become a bastardised version of the best kids' TV show ever. Bearsy is Bernard Cribbins and he's presenting Jackaporny 5 days a week live . Of course now I've had to explain the reverse, reverse, reverse psychology it's now reverse, reverse, reverse, reverse psychology. Except for hypochondriac who will never post here again - unless I want him to.

But remember Toke. One swallow does not a relationship make. You won't see any more comments from TMS lurkers they're all suffering from "did you see that Bear's game last night" syndrome. They've shared something sexual with other men and they don't like it. bpsaint is obviously bi-curious. Either that or he has a polyurethane keyboard cover.

Toke, I think this is an excellent thread and I can confirm that it works. I've woken up this morning knowing the Japanese word for exercise. I've also got the pronunciation nailed too. I say Undousuru and it sounds like Monkey, from the TV series of the same name, is in the room with me. I'm not sure how this has happened and I'm sure there might be a sexual angle that I'm not considering but that brilliant young language teacher has excellent methods.

Excellent work bear. I love the way that for 7 chapters the lurking masses have been slowly rubbing themselves into a bear-obsessed, mutual-masturbatory tantric climax. We've had lurker comments like: "Keep going Bearsy" "Best vvank, oh, I mean best thread ever" "Thanks Bearsy, you've helped to solve a problem I've had with my wife for years. It's hard, to know how to thank you" "Dear Bearsy, I've met this girl and things have been going really well but now...." "One more Chapter before 'bed' Bearsy" and "It's...hard...to...read...this...when...the...screen...is...going...up...and...down...at...roughly...2Hz...but...don't...stop...Bearsy..." But now that the bear has shared the first serving of meat from the book, the latest "Learn to vvank with Bearsy" episode has broken the spell. There's just the normal bear/Toke tumble weed here now. Where are all the self-flagellatory posts? Either we've had what psychologists somewhat ironically refer to as the "Did you see the Bear's game last week" reaction, or the incidents of keyboard failure through 'moisture' in and around the SO postal district were the highest on record last night.

I stayed there on Friday night. My wife and I both enjoy Swing music so what better than a swinger's hotel I thought. How wrong I was. It is the worst run hotel I've ever stayed at. Firstly, despite booking a double room, my wife and I were shown to separate rooms. Then it became clear that there had been some enormous mix-up because there was a woman in the room I was shown to and a man in my wife's! I complained and left and I won't go back in a hurry. The wife's asked me to pick her up on Wednesday.

2 stools? I guess the last 'guest' in the room reneged on the contract's dietary clause.

Good point. If my maths is up to it, 833mph is 0.231 miles per second. Meaning that he was falling at 1221 feet per second. I'm not sure at what height the parachute opened, and he might have slowed considerably once he entered the atmosphere, but I suspect you're right. He travelled too quickly.

As they were sitting on seats and were ejected from the craft, I have a feeling that the inappropriately named African Phil the PhilippineSaint was aiming for a very dark brand of humour.

Well he should go straight back up and finish the job.

Stunning. But did he actually break the free fall record? I thought the graphic said that the record was 4min 36 secs. It looked as if he 'only' fell for 4min 15 secs. Great to see a bunch of records broken live like that.

Now live on BBC news channel.

And your triple-entendres are not lost on me either Frank's cousin. But are you staying that for years Pele was not a man until his very own pharmaceutical moses came down from the mountain carrying little blue tablets of 'stone'? It is my view that men can still be men - whether we stand erect of slump flaccidly when someone is thrusting 50 shades of temptation into our faces.

Just between you and I suewhistle, I'm not that worried about the female perspective myself. But the thought of Bearsy having to channel the female sexual phsyche to write about Christian did appeal. I hope I got this right, and I need to check because it turns an otherwise interesting anecdote about wine and translation into a tale of unexpected eroticism, but were you saying that someone asked you for help translating 50 Shades of Grey? Or was it some dull and boring engineering text? I guess it's the difference between translating "Attach the clamps and then plug the lower hole with grommit B" and, well actually thinking about it there isn't much difference.

I have a feeling that the bear has got reviewers droop.

You talkin' to me? Thanks for the offer bear, but brand Bletch has taken me ages to craft. Travis has been with me through thin and thin. Besides, I'm not changing my fictional avatatar for one that looks exactly like me stepping out for a Saturday night on the town. It turns out you see, that as well as sounding like the fat butler from Downto'w'n Abbey, I look a lot like the man too. Very strange.

None taken Tamesaint. We're all waiting. Tokyo-Saint, or the Toke as I now call him, and I were simply doing a tap-dance and cane routine until the big bear takes to the stage. Can I just suggest that if you are planning to masturbate to Bearsy's next chapter review, you might want to clean the glistening gametes from your clenched fist before attempting to type your gushing praise for the bear. Logitech's number one cause of keyboard failure is gizzed keys. You have been warned.

I follow your logic Toke. But if only 10 of them turn back into "normal human posters", that means that when the bear hits the vinegar stroke in chapter 4 there'll be 50 lurkers somewhere around the south of England and beyond, each with his trousers warming his ankles, scrolling feverishly with one hand whilst scrolling feverishly with the other. If "learn to vvank with Bearsy" is going to be a regular feature of The Muppet Show then the least they could do is stop scrolling with one hand long enough to introduce themselves. No? *Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned. *Said in the voice of the fat butler from Donwto'w'n Abbey.

1) It's voyeurism not activism though Toke. Can I call you Toke? "Oh bear, you're so funny". "Keep going bear, I've nearly got wood". "Just one more chapter bear and I'll be having a crisis". That's not right Toke. If each of those 60 visitors proved themselves to be worthy Muppets and posted something other than the nauseously fawning commentary of their masturbatory process, then I'd be all for it. 2) True, true and true. I've got the *limp to prove it. 3) Yep. I walk round the house like Tick-Tock the Croc from Peter Pan. 4) Yes. But I think you nodded off whilst I was making my most important point. Well, my most important two points each of which had two subclauses. But in an effort to keep you with me, I'll keep this brief. Well Bletch-brief anyway. Bearsy cannot write his reviews just from a male perspective. Despite the relatively small numbers of female members (not to mention our gay and bi members too), he has to give equal importance to the sexual attractiveness of the male lead and other male characters. To my eye, his reviews seem to have strayed a little toward the heterosexual male perspective. If he doesn't correct this then the Saintsweb ball will be taken away from us by the authorities and we'll all have to toddle off home for an early tea. *limp was intentionally used here as a homophone. Well, a homonym to be precise.

Sorry that I haven't contributed earlier despite my name being taken in vain a number of times. I had tried to open this web page but it turns out it had been stuck to the previous page with middle-aged man-gloy. Now I've finally managed to ditch the DNA and open it, I find all this fawning over the bear's literary review of the 50 shade of greys very disturbing. Firstly, this sort of highbrow review belongs in the Arts forum not The Muppet Show. And this from the Muppet Show Moderator too. Secondly, there are too many visitors to The Muppet Show now. It was better in the summer when it was just Bearsy and Tokyo playing with each other while a small number of us watched on. Well done bear. I hope you're proud of yourself. Thirdly, The Muppet Show is an equal opportunity sub-forum. I'm detecting a smidgen of male-bias in your review Bearsy. Sainstweb has a female community too, and despite the fact that I might only need 3 fingers to account for them, we need positive-discrimination here. Your reviews Bearsy, have to contain as much lechery over Christian Grey as they do the female characters. This is Muppet Show law. Fourthly, and most importantly, as I mentioned on another thread, Mrs saintbletch has read 50s Shade of Grey and her commentary was worryingly different to the bear's. I know Bearsy is on the Man-Booker panel but he could just be making it all up. Perhaps this is just a case of bears are from Uranus woman are from Venus; but Mrs saintbletch's account doesn't mention the use of a avion saws, sandwich-filling conversations, spack-hands or the fact that Anastasia is fat. Although she does concur that it is dreadfully written. *Spolier alert. I can confirm that a boning is coming soon and Mrs. saintbletch tells me it is tender and passionate but that the rest of the book is punctuated by latex, butt-plugs, the room, and a dispute over a legal contract between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. Oh, and just so we can fulfil the rule-oneage, it was rumoured that Emma Watson was to play Ana Steele - although she has denied having been approached. So I guess that means that, at least in the screen version, she's not likely to be a 'porker'.