saintbletch

Something is going on here. This was spotted by the host broadcaster during the race. It was replayed and Sky commented on it live. So why didn't Ferrari protest during the race? The staff at the track, or their extended team would surely have known at the time. Why wait until 4 days after the race to say they are considering an appeal? More F1 political posturing? Ferrari to rule out an appeal for the good of the sport would be my guess.

My other son Toke. Not you.

My son got 4 A* at A-level. Double maths, Physics and Economics. Got an offer from Pembroke College Cambridge to read Maths. But he didn't make the grade on the STEP entrance exam. He's now at Durham and loving it. If you're studying Maths then your application and interview are important but unless you beat the rest of the excellent mathematicians on the STEP exam, who come from schools outside of the National Curriculum, then it counts for nothing.

Did your Mum never mention your old Uncle Bletch, Toke?

None taken.

That's my boy! #soproud

You're being given another chance. Don't waste it. You've been discharged into the care of Tokyo-Saint. He has stood bail for you to the tune of one Hannah Minx Japanese lesson. Toke, I hope we can rely on you to settle the bail fee within the day? Barry, I don't want to see you before this bench again. Keep your nose clean and if you plan to post anything negative, make sure it's on the main board. There are some like-minded people on there. The Muppet Show is just one big, happy, book reviewing, non-porn posting, ursine and Japanese themed party. I hope your character and the proud Sanchez family name has not been besmirched too badly and that your dune tag doesn't stop you making friends. Let's hope you can work to become a respectable member of TSW society and perhaps learn Japanese. Undousuru! You're free to go. P.S. What do you think of the English Defence League?

As one of the more forward thinking of The Muppet Show's "Hanging Judges", I suggest we put him on conditional probation. As you know pap, what we try to do with new posters here is place the equivalent of a curfew tag around their collective ankle. The way we handled Cheese on Toast was a case study in how to do it. He came to our attention when he was on about 50 posts and he rather precociously joined in a thread as if he was a regular. That rang alarm bells, just as it did with Barry Sanchez. We then carried out a forensic examination of his posting style, he was cross-examined with Dixon of Dock Green-like ferocity. He even passed Toke's legendary "Are you dune?" test. After all that we shrugged, said "not really sure", and left him to it. But. The damage had already been done. The great unwashed Muppet Show lurker massive knew he was a suspect, they posted the occasional accusational post in The Lounge, this then spread to the main board and before long it didn't even matter if he was dune or not. He was suspected of being dune and that was enough to put a metaphorical tag around his lower left leg. We knew that he'd never recover and so it was that Toke put him out of his misery. He worked Cheese on Toast like a puppet (string puppet not glove!), goading him to go pick a four-lettered fight with a Mod, and now he sleeps with the un-dead in perma-ban Hell. Perma-banned for swearing at a Mod (in school hours) and a social pariah for being suspected of being dune. And he wasn't even dune. Perfect mob justice. So the word will get around that Barry Sanchez is out on the tag. That should be enough to keep him in check. Hope it doesn't stop him posting some of the irreverent stuff he's contributed. He's as mad as box of Gibraltar frogs. We need that sort of attitude in here. [takes off black hanging cap with a shrug, folds it twice and places it in a battered old tin case with the words Lord Justice Bletch of The Muppet Show Supreme Court inscribed on it]

Hmm. I've run the rule over Barry's language. Inconclusive. Before you engaged him in conversation Toke and pap, he was posting like a drunken version of Ron Manager. Random musings from an odd ball. No offence RM. As soon as you got him 'talking' he lost that persona. So whoever Barry Sanchez is, he was wearing a mask to start with. But then again, we all do. So I don't know. We'd better hang him just in case.

That's ok Toke. Just make sure that pap's wired up and that we've got a sniper painting a red dot just above dune's heart. If he reaches for the UKIP manifesto and attempts to turn pap, you have permission to shoot.

Good move Toke. Just keep dune talking. I've got my Sherlock Homophone costume on and have diluted the coke to 7 percent. I'll be analysing every word he says . Ssh. Don't tell dune.

Toke, this isn't going to end the same way as the Cheese on Toast 'investigation' is it? That time you asked a load of questions and then you based your opinion of the suspect's 'dune-ness' by posing the question "Are you dune?". You don't think both parties (no offence pap sir) might simply be using Google do you?

As an aside, my Scouse relatives live in L7 - Kenny.

Sure, Detective Sergeant pap will suss out the suspect's Liverpool knowledge. It'll be useful to get another opinion. Although we should keep in mind that dune's been away for a while, so he might have bought a Liverpool travel guide and boned up.

OK sonny. I'll take it from here. Now Mr Sanchez. Take a seat. Can I offer you a cup of tea Barry? Or should I say "dune"? You beat me by 10 minutes pap sir. I came out in a rash when I saw Cheers, Ta. (my punctuation). Not sure the posting style is familiar but it certainly look forced. We haven't had a witch hunt for a while. I'm up for it. Toke, you get the pictures of Thatcher and a flag of Gibraltar. I'll get the lie detector. See you in custody cell 6.

If you like your music, try to get along to a gig at the Paradiso Club. It's a ​great and historic venue and a good way to start your evening. Try to moderate your THC intake beforehand, too much can spoil the gig!

I can't thank you enough for bringing this to my attention Toke. I wonder what Freud would have to say about that little glance back at the pile as she turned the corner.

I've not used Windows 8 Kingsland Codger but it could be that the you simply need a Microsoft account to identify your machine with Microsoft's servers. For example, my Android-based phone asks me to give it a Google account so that it can sync my photos, calendars, music, etc. That doesn't stop me telling the email application on my phone to go and get email from my own domains. If I were you, I'd create a Microsoft account to allow the machine to be identified and then in the Windows 8 email app (or Outlook / Outlook Express) setup your email account per buctootim's link.

Whoops. That post was brought to you in association with Strongbow, Staropramen and Laphroaig. My apologies to Len's family.

Any band that can weave delivering a cargo of cocaine into Trumpton was underrated. But the Len Hanley stance should never have been the subject of anyone's popular culture toon. That is all I have to say.

He he pap! Let me put your mind at rest. Tokyo, well him and the bear - you wouldn't meet a nicer two blokes. To be honest, I'm really, really happy here. My only concern is that I've neglected The Lounge. It's nice to know I'm missed, but I'm really safe here and in no danger of injury. People shouldn't worry about me or my nipples. gerrad

Thanks pap. But it's OK. I'm happy here now. Bear treats me well although Toke does have a visit from the green eyed monster every so often (see his post above - miaow!). But tell me pap, do people really type S, H, I and T after my posts in the lounge? That's a little depressing. And yes, I'm still willing to be your campaign agent if you ever run for Muppet Show Mayor.

Why thank you kind lady/boy. As you may or may not know bugenhagen, I have been gifted a power by the Gods that allows me to draw deep insight into the lives of everyday people through their ramblings on this site. I simply have to read enough of their posts to know everything there is to know about them. I don't make a big deal about this sort of power because I don't think it should be abused. I try to use it largely for good purposes and to combat the evil in the world. These superhero powers are visited upon me only if I wear the accompanying superhero costume - a deerstalker hat, a large magnifying glass and plus fours containing a small but everlasting bag of clinical grade coke which I dilute to a seven percent solution. They call me Sherlock Hom-ophone. I have used these powers on here a few times. I used them to proclaim Cheese on Toast innocent of being dune, to nail the bear on his likely educational path (despite his tw*t-like obfuscation) and to spot that Toke is a not a proper detective but is instead a complete and utter funtwhit. Oh and as we both know, I also saw your colon. So I will now read your past posts and make a judgement as to your likely gender and if the gods are smiling on us I'll predict what you're having for dinner on Sunday. But first, from the small sample that you have provided thus far bugenhagen, I can already confirm that you have a stalker! Yes that's right, from reading the small handful of letters grouped and arranged into tokens and corralled by an even smaller number of punctuation marks, I have deduced that you are in danger. I think you'll find that sitting outside your house (apartment) at the moment, in a car just across the road sits a medium sized bear with a pair of binoculars (held with one hand) gazing into your bedroom window. Don't thank me bugenhagen, simply call the Politi. P.S. Don't try telling me that I've got something wrong - nobody will believe you.

Hey bear. Here's a quiz. What does the Pee in PM stand for? What's said in the PM, stays in the PM. That's my credo.

To be fair, it looked to me like the dog was arse-ing the girls tongue. There's a world of difference.