saintbletch

Frottaging?

Mortified. This is the point where I pull some clever word-trick out of my inside pocket and use it to explain to you why you're wrong and I'm right Tokyo-Saint. Something like... "But, Tokyo-Saint, I was simply quoting the oaf in the pub. I used that spelling because that is how he pronounced it." But you're not buying that so I've decided not to try to sell it to you. I apologise. As an aside, I had a landlord once (in the sense that he was my landlord) who would create a spoonerism from BJ's name - referring to him as Jilly Bowel. I've since adopted that term to describe the lower-intestinal condition that I suffer from after 6 pints and a Vindaloo. I haven't been able to hear or read Billy Joel's name since without feeling obliged to recount that anecdote.

You know when you go out on a bender with your mates and you end up getting into an argument with someone else in the pub because you've had too much to drink and the other bloke takes offence at your attempts to improve his diction or grammar and tries to punch you and calls you "posh boy" and tells you that you sound like the fat butler from Downtown Abbey and it's just starting to look serious but one of your mates has stayed sober and plays the diplomat with the offended party and shepherds you out of the pub and puts you in a taxi home? Well perhaps the diction and Downtown parts are just me, but you get the point I hope. St Chalet is your teetotal mate and has just saved you from a kicking Saint in Paradise. I'd sleep it off and stay out of that pub for a while if I were you.

Mr. Westwood lowered himself onto the chair gingerly and at an awkward angle; ruing taunting the opposition fan with "Make me!" after he had been challenged to "Stick that f*cking bell up your arse!".

It's certainly not immediately obvious how this could be tax-efficient from a corporate perspective. But perhaps the angle is tax-efficiency for Liebherr personal wealth? i.e. They don't have to dip into their personal wealth which has already been taxed and is probably being used to make more money. Instead, the company burdens itself with the debt and attempts to pay down the debt operationally using next season's additional TV revenue. If, and only if the club doesn't do this, they will then stomp up the cash from personal wealth. Probably through another round of converting SFC's debt to the Liebherrs into shares. If the club does pay down the debt then the Liebherr's might have saved themselves a few quid at the expense to SFC of the interest paid. Just a thought.

Kind words tpbury. Thank you. It will come as no surprise to others on here to learn that I'm regularly touched by tpbury.

Well, all I say is that I very much enjoy my own company. But through a cruel twist of fate, fallopian fickleness and penile girth; I am not able to make myself pregnant. Whereas that ***** of a twin brother of mine - the BBC's defence correspondent Caroline Wyatt, can.

Beware the green-eyed monster Tokyo-Saint. tpbury and I simply share a love that dare not speak its name (in The Muppet Show). You also seem to have discounted the possibility that I might be Cat Deeley or that Cat Deeley might be me.

I think Saturday's episode was Malcolm Tucker's finest (half) hour. Brilliant and scarily believable manipulation of the opposition leadership and shadow cabinet. I loved the way we see the episode open with Tucker walking to work, he's on the phone and organising flowers to be sent to the ex-leader of the opposition commiserating with her that she had to go - only at that point in the day she was very much still in her job! The way he managed to make 3 or 4 events collide such that he got Nicola Murray to resign, taking the newly promoted Shadow Chancellor with her whilst simultaneously proving himself to the new leader in-waiting, was quite brilliant. The dialogue is absolutely wonderful - aside from some quite scintillating swearing, this subtle line appealed to me. [paraphrasing - from memory] Tucker looking at his phone "These phones are wonderful aren't they. I've got an app here that can throw grenades into people's dreams" as he shows the newly appointed Shadow Chancellor an email trail that means he will have to resign immediately. Also watching Luther. Hadn't seen series 1 before the BBC repeated it as I started watching in Series 2. It's one of the finest British crime dramas I've seen. Idris Elba is fantastic as John Luther and turns what otherwise might have been a bit of a hackneyed retelling of the emotionally damaged cop story, into something really powerful. The story lines are excellent and very dark, they've spent a few quid producing it and the supporting cast is excellent too. Each cast member has a fully drawn character with which you feel empathy and instinctively understand how they will react in different situations. Very well written and no surprise that Elba won a Golden Globe for his portrayal. I think Elba was in The Wire too (which for my sins I haven't seen). What is it with British actors playing American roles on US TV? Is it a cost thing?

The experience of reading Ulysses was so spiritual that I have recanted my agnostic atheism and have become a 1 day adventist - Praise The Lord! I now worship at the church of Joyce every 16th June. And in future I'll be sure to check with you before selecting a book. You're too good to me scotty. I've not read any J P Donleavy, an omission I will put right on your recommendation, but a quick Google tells me that he was born in New York. So Ireland has no decent writers. They'll be disappointed about that.

But is this Cheese on Toast or his carer speaking? Hope you changed your password Cheese/Dune/Fred. Thinking about it, you've basically paid a fiver to come on here so that you can continually deny being somebody else. Fair play.

Any more of those cuss words scotty and you and I might never exchange Christmas cards again. And if I reply in full, you're going to get me into more 'off-topic for The Muppet Show' trouble with Mulder and Skully. You'll have to wait for my review in The Arts Forum. Anyway... How? Sheer bloody-mindedness and the fact that I have a literary ego so large you could photograph it.

The fat butler from Downtown Abbey.

I'm glad you did that ZepSaint. I'm not aloud to do that sort of thing myself any more. Tokyo-Saint has had a homophone restraining order put on me.

Not Dostoevsky Tokyo-Saint, it was James Joyce's Ulysses. I'm 99% through it and it's taken me 6 months. A full appraisal will be in the What are you Reading? thread in 'the other place' soon. In fact, in an odd Gibraltarian twist, the main protagonist in Ulysses is Leopold Bloom and his wife Molly Bloom was born in Gibraltar. And I'm just reading about her reminiscing about pulling off a Gibraltar naval Captain into her handkerchief - which she kept under her pillow and would periodically take it out to smell it. All of this in a 60 page final chapter featuring only 8 sentences and zero punctuation. It's like a dannysfc post on steroids. Enough of the book talk (I'm getting slightly aroused if I'm honest), but you started it. We need to know. Does Zep exist?

Tokyo-Saint wants to smoke new boys in the same sense that some people want to fellate cigarettes. But, I'm concerned about your posts per day though ZepSaint. This is very much like the X-Files because officially you don't exist. We'll have another investigation going before you know it - wait for Mulder and Scully to come down from their shared dorm. You've never posted on here, I've never read your posts, and I'm currently responding to a figment of my own imagination. You don't exist. The truth is out there.

Welcome to The Muppet Show ZepSaint. Ignore the older boys that post on here, they can be a bit rough on new boys especially if the new boy is a little, well, eccentric. The Muppet Show is very much like a public boarding school - equal measures of intelligence, boredom and inbreeding. But you must learn that there is a food chain here. Tokyo-Saint and Bearsy are the senior boys, Tokyo-Saint is Bearsy's 'head boy' and I expect Tokyo-Saint will try to make you his fag - he does it to all the new boys. But if he tells you that he'd like to help you to 'fit in' - I'd suggest you decline his offer. Stay on the right side of pap - he's teaches two subjects - Politics and Physics (specialising in warp drives and other interstellar transport mechanisms) and scotty - he's the Philosophy master and his lectures can usually be found in The Crap Joke Refectory. Anyway, make yourself at home. P.S. Do me a favour would you ZepSaint. Go into your forum control panel and in the Statistics section where it says posts per day - tell me what it says. Ta.

How many Tokyos does it take to make an ursine penis disappear? One - because he's Bearsy's forum b*tch. No offence Tokyo-Saint...just checking that I've got the right idea of the exercise.

Bugger me (figure of speech). He was Dune after all.

Yep a bad case of swrape. What's the betting Cheese On Toast's password was "cheeseontoast"? Anyway, hello Cheese On Toast's carer. Tell us more... Does Cheese On Toast look like Dune?

If I were you I'd drop his management company / agent an email asking if they have any posters/signed photos/electronic images. I tried a quick Google of "jack cork agent" but couldn't see anything immediately. I'm sure someone on here must know who his agent is. Where's Matthew Le God when you need him? I'm sure if I were to say Cork's agent is Smith and Co., Matthew Le God would come and correct me. Hope your 'daughter' gets what you're looking for.

The brassiere was invented by Vincent du Brassiere in 1672. It was introduced primarily as device to allow women of that period to remove small coinage from their pockets without first having to lift one or both of their saggy breasts out of the way. The promotion of the device is remembered as much for the controversy it caused as for being one of the first known examples of viral marketing. Johannes Vermeer was commissioned to paint a wonderfully lifelike picture of Nell Gwyn wearing nothing but the early brassiere and a pair of pig bladder hoes. She was captured looking down in surprise at her ample and well supported breasts and a caption, added after Vermeer's work, has her saying to her breasts "Hello Pillicocks". The original work was hung over London Bridge where passing women felt inferior and passing men felt themselves. Young artists made hand sketches of the work which passed covertly among the male population of London by letter. These later became known as G Mails - after Gwynn's initial.

It's a Boche Tokyo-Saint - a Boche Chancellor 18.

Superb Frank's cousin. "Yes (Prime) Minister" was very clever and very subtle. Time for a repeat surely? But as pap said, TTOI can be subtle too. I've also been watching it twice too, once live and then with my son who's just starting to take an interest in politics. In fact a whole generation of students will have been politicised (a good thing) following the tuition fees debacle. But that's for another thread. So, did art imitate life or the other way round when Vince Cable announced the £1Bn People's Bank? He obviously got the idea from TTOI's £2Bn Community Bank that the Lib Dems agreed to just to get the economist out of the building so they could deal with the suicide of Tickel.

The design certainly has something "Nineteen Eighty-Four" about it. I'm acknowledging my lack of expertise here, but I'd guess that if you conducted a Family Fortunes-style poll of 100 supremacists and asked them to choose their favourite flag design, then this would be top 2. I thought we'd all agreed that this was going down like the Salem witch trials. i.e. we're pretty sure he isn't Dune but we still accuse him of it until he sends himself to permaban hell. Sorry Cheese on Toast, but that's how we roll around here. It's more "He's" on toast than cheese on toast but it's the best I could do. So Cheese on Toast, it's good to have you back from your ban and all that - but just in case you are Dune, I think you should be on a Saintsweb ASBO for a month or two. So think of the picture above as a sort of JPEG electronic leg tag avatar. This should ensure that the good people of Saintsweb are protected from the threat of Dune - which unfortunately you carry by quirk of the timing of your first posts.