saintbletch

Have watched nearly all the episodes and am out tonight with a mate who is back from Brazil. If any of you try to tell me the result of Master Chef I'll be very upset. La, la la. I am not listening to you Jeffrey.

Proof positive that the bear works in copywritings.

I'd love for the 'dead' nurse to pop into the back of the shot in one of the interviews that they're doing for Australian TV and shout "Surprise". Thus making it the biggest, double-hoax in history. Oh, how we'd laugh. At them.

Commentator: Reading's new Italian defender Fellatio is showing what he's all about.

Haven't used Nero for a while but it sounds like the disc isn't being finalised. That said, I didn't think ISO images could be/needed to be finalised. Is there an option to finalise the disc? If so try that.

I'm not casting out my gay demon. She's Swedish and bisexual and I'm quite attached to her. Regularly.

I don't quite know how to break this to you Toke, but when you come back into The Muppet Show from farting in here, your posts still smell. And the odd thing is, the smell is a noxious cross between the manure you get from a male cow and an unspecified quantity of seminal fluid from a large brown bear. Next time give it a couple of minutes mate, would ya?

Always good to see a discussion that incorporates elements of object orientation - especially in the wilderness that is the site suggestions forum. Posting in here always feels like walking round a large, cold and dark room shouting "Hello. Hello. Anyone there?" and listening for the echoes to bounce back. Anyway, I was under the impression that we already have this sort of capability pap. I remember some of our Portsmouth supporting friends being given comical honourifics - the like of which you're suggesting here. Weren't they given "Fishy Friend" or similar? Perhaps my memory is playing tricks with me. Keeping up the OO theme, I would like to be polymorphic. Liberal (with a small ell) in The Lounge and Grandfather Grammar in The Muppet Show. P.S. I really like the "On the naughty step" title for anyone with current infractions. Perhaps they could have "On naughty step n" - where n is the number of infractions they have.

Hmm. Then what we need is someone to adjudicate on our respective, non-conspiracy theories hutch. Where's pap?

I must admit that I'm not usually given to conspiracy theories... but If I wanted to ensure that the media was ****-scared of pursuing Savile-related enquiries into establishment figures, I'd 'engineer' a false accusation against a wealthy Lord who had the means to pursue legal redress against anyone who defamed him. It was unlikely to have been engineered, but the effect has been the same - Cyril Smith aside. Perhaps there's nothing to those rumours? Perhaps they stopped at the false accusations aimed at McAlpine?

Go Mr. Rico. Go.

One from my youth... You wouldn't get away with this sort of thing nowadays. The PC brigade would tell you that it should my "Mummy" and not "Mammy".

Using Holmesian deduction, the only logical conclusion to draw from the known facts is that Barry Sanchez got into a fight outsize the Arkles in which his red Karrimor jacket was removed. I guess he ran into a firm of Europhile Ultras.

Of the South Today regulars I prefer Briony Leyland. She's a proper looking woman with sturdy hair. Do you think she has any Irish in her? I wonder if she wants some. And your use of 'wet' there son was more trombone that homophone. #suchadisappointment

dune was the grit in the oyster Barry Sanchez - the irritant that over the years, day after day, hour after hour, forces the oyster to stop growing and instead lay down layer upon layer of shell around the irritant. Unfortunately when dune's oyster was opened earlier this year, instead of a pearl we all saw a steaming racist turd. But, as with the oyster, he did give us all something to occupy ourselves with. He was also quite witty - in a steaming, racist turd sort of a way.

Seconded pap. You have my full support. Plus Whitey Grandad brings a certain intellectual rigour to the blathering nonsense on here. Art imitating life - a coalition of mixed ideologies. It should be good for the balance of the site. But which one of you is The Clegg? You wait until White Grandad tells you that you'll be right wing once you get to his age. I heard that a lot as a younger man. PS bear, dont try to give me an infraction for posting politics in The Muppet Show. This baby's off topic.

It would indeed Whitey Grandad. I always wondered why the bear's nether regions smelled of sandalwood and polygrip.

You mean me and Whitey are getting sloppy septuagenarian seconds? That was never part of the deal.

Hmm. Perhaps he's the anti-dune. Barry Sanchez, do you have any numerical tattoos on your head?

You may be right. Two points Toke. Firstly, the bail fee was a new Hannah Minx Japanese lesson. I don't think I saw that. Secondly, Barry Sanchez is on probation and I think he should stay there. Ask yourself. Who else have you seen use the term elitist (or variant thereof)?

I've spoken to Peter, or one of his colleagues a number of times pap. They usually tell me that they are calling from Microsoft to tell me they've detected that my computer is running slowly. The fact that I run Linux and Microsoft isn't likely to reach out to its customer base alerted me to the scam. I don't know how they've got hold of my details. Somewhere I've shopped online must have been hacked I guess. In the past I've had great fun playing along. The end game for them is to get you to go to a web site and install a browser plugin that gives them access over your computer. At which point I imagine they will then look for passwords, bank logins, etc. They ask you if you think you might have a virus or if the computer is running slowly or has displayed unusual messages. Who hasn't? Once I told tell them that I get all of those symptoms and that I was really pleased they'd called. I gathered the family round the phone for a laugh and made up 10-15 minutes of faulty messages. I pretended to type in the URL and told him that I had a snake moving across my screen. Whenever he tried to talk, I'd scream and say that the snake had turned and could he help me get rid of it. He'd try to tell me to visit the URL and I'd tell him that the snake was stopping me from doing it. It was great fun. He eventually told me that I was wasting his time and put the phone down. Now, like you, I just tell them to go away and that I know it's a scam. Evils of capitalism? Well only slightly less evil than the scam above are those telemarketing companies that ignore the Telephone Preference Service.

Oh, I see Saint in Paradise. That makes a bit more sense now. Still can't see Ferrari pursuing this though. Perhaps it will go down in folk lore as the title that was wrongly awarded?