saintbletch

Here's one for you Bear. I've been saving it for a special occasion... Clue...bottom right is a bloke.

Apologies, Lou I didn't see your reply at the time. Look, as I tried to explain in TMS, I'm not planning to share naked videos of myself with you, and I won't be doing anything to your face on Wednesday evening. Sorry! But those are the facts. But, would it really take nerve to meet you and share a bit of banter, Lou? I'm not normally nervous of meeting anyone socially. Why should it take nerve? Do you find it difficult to laugh at yourself? I can help with that. But, I will be in there from time to time, so it would be great to meet you. Perhaps you could take me outside and show me your rig?

Perhaps it was that, if you're going to bemoan the stereotypical treatment of one sex by the other, then you might need to be holier-than-thou when making your counter-arguments. A couple of times during your defence of the woman, I felt violated and treated as an entire gender and not as an individual! Well, a little, maybe. Well played though, Lou. I think you have a point, a number of good points in fact, but I think you might be conflating a number of arguments. Most people seem to be commenting about the Woman, because the article is told from her perspective, and the impact it has had on her. So, I'm sure much, but obviously not all of the focus on the woman's actions have stemmed from there. There is obviously a remnant of '70s attitudes to gender, and I imagine many people are still coming to terms with Girl Power - whatever that means, but perhaps a better question to ask would be to gauge people's reactions if their son was her cubicle companion. That might then separate the act from the gender. For the record, I've got one of each sex, and I'd be disgusted if either were involved in something like this. And I'd likely blame them and not the cameraman, if their respective body parts were trending on Twitter. *special award goes to Lord Duckhunter for getting the use of the term 'chicks' in under the radar.

Good bloke indeed. He's carrying a bit more timber amidships these days. And that picture makes him look like a cuddly uncle - and he's a thoroughly nice bloke, but if it ever kicked off in The Farmhouse, I'd make sure I was standing behind Barrie. I'll make sure I head there after the next game I get to, and let you play the "Is that Bletch" game.

Is Barrie still the landlord of The Farmhouse, pap? He is (was), a proper, old-school landlord. There's something malevolent lurking just below the surface, I don't suppose he gets much trouble. Good bloke, mind. Not sure if he'd turn a blind-eye to cubicle-sex or beat the living **** out of everyone involved.

Nah, I'll catch it on LiveLeak when it goes on general release.

This IS TMS, col. Even though you stormed off to The Lounge, you already have come back. So, I don't really need to ask you to rejoin TMS. You never left, mate. That's why here you're just Col the Swansea-based trucker. If we were to meet in The Lounge, however, you would find me nothing, but a gentleman. I would open doors for you, tug at my disappeared forelock, take off my cape and cast it across puddles such that you were spared the embarrassment of lifting your hem, and I'd also address you as Lou. I wouldn't even suggest that Lou was short for Louis, or Louie. But this is TMS, and so you're simply Col. I don't know what a pheronomiser is, but a pheromoniser is (probably) a person who gives off pheromones wherever they go; attracting and enchanting the opposite sex like catnip to a cat, or like a truck-stop bacon roll to a lorry driver. BTW, if you want indiscrete videos of me, Col. Just ask. You can either stick your smartphone over the top of trap 3 in the Gents' toilet in the northbound Fleet services, or I'll send you a TOR link in the dark-web. Back on-topic envy

see It's probably just as well.

I once heard it foretold that if the same pattern of single syllable words were repeated on this thread three times without hesitation, deviation or, erm, repetition, that it would result in the end of the world as we know it. I'm game if you are 3B, but I expect someone will come along and spoil the fun before we can finish the incantation. mat

Try to stay on-topic, Col. Oh, and don't patronise me. I'm the TMS patroniser. We've got a vacancy for a pheromoniser though. You do bring traffic with you, and we need traffic. Please apply using the application form in the Site Suggestions sub-forum. Back on topic. mat

Odd article. Dated, Feb 2013, yet has references to Van Gaal. Is this a current story, but with the date entered incorrectly? Then again, it seems like the entire news section contains contemporary articles, but dated 2013.

Quizzes. I love quizzes. Let me try to figure this out Col. The AllAboutMeTube clip is about the male, grey and socially naive membership of TheSaintsWeb sitting patiently in The Farmhouse, waiting for something interesting to enter their otherwise incomplete lives. I've got that bit. The man shown on the giant screen is obviously The Man - peddling platitudes to the proles whilst purchasing poppadoms with purloined pounds. I've got that bit. And Essruu wrote the words to the video - obviously. I've got that bit. But who is the woman's-libber with the sister-sledgehammer? She's obviously fit, confident and thinks she has a new angle on things. She also appears determined to visit the many rooms in The Man's house, and spray female-like pheromones into the air; like some sort of b-grade actor from a shake-n-vac ad, putting the female freshness back into TMS. Dunno? You drive a truck Col, you must see a lot of people. Who do you think it is? Sorry, back on topic. cat P.S. Having thought about it, the sledgehammer is The penis. Not A penis, but The penis that represents all of mankind's power over women. It's being metaphorically and literally - literally shoved down the throat of the male oppressor on the screen. So who do we know here that would enjoy having all of male, forum-kind's cock shoved down their throat? No, still drawing a blank, Col.

@Mattytargett: Thanks for all the nice messages!! Massive headache today!! Great 1-0 win for us yesterday ? #saintsfc #WeMarchOn

This image was sent to me by a mate, and it has caused me much contemplation and introspection. So Muppets...in life, which one of the four are you?

Knowledge is power. France is bacon. ...that would make Mrs. Malaprop proud.

Roy heading to his 'First Wednesday of the Month' club.

Body-popping Mugabe.

I hope you didn't use washing up liquid to clean the shells, Toke. As the recipe says, that would have made them taste disgusting. Also, if you were a true romantic, a) you wouldn't have eaten yourself, yourself, and b) you would've spent the previous week eating exclusively vindaloo, so that your "man-made oysters" gave your girl the gift of Goan goo.

I have to say that I think it's funny to see people pulling apart the policies of the minor parties. I think we learned two things from the last election that should probably temper our analysis of manifesto pledges. Firstly, (even more than is usually the case) It doesn't matter what specific 'commitments' are in a manifesto, because if a coalition government is formed, then those 'commitments' will be likely be negotiated away. Even what seem like fundamental principles that strike right to the heart of what the party appears to be about cease to look sacrosanct and bovine once a little power is dangled in front of our politicians' faces. Secondly, and as a result of the above, the 'commitments' that minor parties make should be seen in the context of the 'reigning-in' effect that it will have on the major parties if they are invited to form a minority of a coalition government. So if I were to read the Green manifesto and their now backtracked £72 'commitment', I think I'd expect their potential role in a coalition government to push it to the ecological left. In that context, if I were in a constituency where the Greens had a chance of winning, I wouldn't think it a wasted vote.

saintbletch's top tip for Valentine's Day...