saintbletch

[dabbing eyes gently with man-size Kleenex] Halo, whilst I'm with you you'll never be cheap or remorseful, the dirty bit I can't do anything about I'm afraid. It's biological. You're my favourite. Damned with faint praise. Never heard of me? Ouch, you cut me to the quick. BTF = Bridge too far. You're my favourite. And just to fire a .44 Magum into the face of this bus analogy...you're the conductor papster... And finally, to borrow from the great Bruce Forsyth...You're my favourite. -+- Merry Xmas one and all. May you start the day with a full sack, and end it with an empty one.

Halo. You'll get my vote (not sure in which category yet though) for that Hard Yank = Clint Eastwood = Wood he? gag. That might have been my moment of 2014. In fact I think I nearly 'went'. Then again, Flyd Owl did come up with another excellent post, for which he was awarded the OBE. So it might be close.

OK lads, observe as His Bletchness interprets hidden female communication for you. Women don't say what they mean, instead they speak in a sort of Enigma code. Luckily my first degree was in Lady Talk so I can interpret it for you*. * As I hope BTF will attest, I'm not really a chauvinist. Just stretching for a little Xmas cheer. I'd just like to say that it's refreshing to have female company in TMS. And there's no punchline here, no mention of off-side rules, or ironing gags, just a genuine welcome. ** Come on? (And I'm not even going to edit this post in a few hours so that it then ends with "Now, get your tits out!").

LOL There's no need to be like that. Just because Fold Our Cox is going to cream all the other ladies in the Female Poster of the Year Award. But since you brought it to my attention, I've checked the original entry and that spelling error is on me.

Having employed a BIG-DATA team to sift through the incredible number of responses so far, these are the trends that are developing... Main Board Sense + Knowledge Poster of the Year Redslo, MLG, Windows, Monk, Smirking, Shurlock, Chez, K. Billy's Supersound Lounge Poster of the Year pap, verbal, minty, saintbletch (when he can be arsed), rallyboy, trousers Muppet of the Year Gayboot, Bear, Bear, Bear, Bear, Bletch, Halo Loki / Mischief-maker - whatever GlasgowSaint, I can't believe it's not bitter Jeff/Sarb/DPS, CB Fry, Ludwig, Batman, Windows Female poster of the year Loud for Cox Lou! Love Story of the Year CB Fry and Turkish MLG lovers Prayers Whelk's crush on CB Fry Pap and Barry true love x2 CB Fry and Bletch Sue Whistle and Turkish Fallen Comrade Toke, Spudder, Ottery x 2, Barry Best Thing Bletch's debagging of CB Fry Barry paying a fiver to be re-banned an hour later MLG going mental over kind comments regarding clarke carlisle Defector's watch Barry and Glasgow being banned The Barry/Pap man date (with pap's Missus playing gooseberry) Bletch chatting up CB Fry Summer meltdown turns into autumnal content MVP Bear, Bear, Bear LVP Bear, UnbelievableJeff, Hypo, Windows (at the moment), Barry Sanchez Other voting categories Best new poster Best and most impressive meltdown Most boring poster of the year Best pronounciation(sic) of the year Wost spelling of the year The "me too" category, reserved for people who probably should have a **** instead of putting their jizz on here. The AlpineSaint award for most negative poster The Dalek award for continually flogging a dead horse Least knowledgable ITK Wordmeister of the year

No problem, Loud for Cox! This is an equal opportunities Award, so I'm willing to patronise you - even if the little lady couldn't worky-worky the little-wittle formy-warmy. I'll try to accommodate your needs. I have to say that looking at the Female Poster of the Year nominations so far, it looks like we're all willing to Fold Our Cox for you.

So, some very interesting suggestion flooding in (that'll be one then) from someone using the form.. Best thing... - Barry Sanchez spending a fiver to come back for 5 minutes before being banned again. Best thing... - MLG going mental over kind comments regarding clarke carlisle The anonymous poster also suggested Coxford Lou in the PILF category. Other category suggestions... Most boring poster of the year Best pronounciation* of the year Worst spelling of the year Ironically pronunciation was misspelt.

Yeah, well my Norse mythology isn't as polished as it should be. Sorry, Bear. I think BucktoothedTim needs to be added somewhere. He's a sort of peripheral-Muppet, and he can be a complete Loki when he wants to be (especially when he's in loki papentis), but there really is no subject about which he cannot chip in with something of value. He's a sort of Swiss-Army poster - whereas I've always seen myself as a Gurkha's Kukri.

Oh and Ludwig has finagled his / her way into the Forum Loki of the Year category - whatever that is.

I'm going to add Redslo into Main Board Sense + Knowledge Poster of the Year and also the new category of PR Plant of 2014. I think the religious fervour with which MLG attacks religious fervour is in need of recognition too, probably in the The Best Thing to Happen... category. I do need more help with the The Best Thing to Happen... category, because most of the best things to happen that I can remember, all involved me! BTW and just FYI, Bear, you inadvertently spelled my named as Beltch instead of Bletch.

NOMINATIONS HAVE NOW CLOSED. VOTING IS OPEN! Ignore the instructions below, the nominations have now closed and voting is open. The process is described here... -+- OK Muppets, THIS THREAD IS FOR NOMINATIONS ONLY - NOT FOR VOTING. There is no way I'm going to miss this open goal of an opportunity to become TMS MVP 2014. LAST YEAR'S CATEGORIES So, as I'm basically the last 'man' standing, I've got to win this year. Well that and the fact that I'm going to control the voting mechanism! Using the same categories as The Bear did last year, please can I have your nominations for the following categories: Main Board Sense + Knowledge Poster of the Year Lounge Poster of the Year Muppet of the Year Forum Loki of the Year - I think Bear means Forum anti-hero (Ed.) Female Poster of the Year Love Story of the Year Fallen Comrade Most Missed Poster Of The Year Best thing to happen on Saintsweb this year MVP Most Valuable Poster LVP Least Valuable Poster New voting categories... Some suggestions... NEW VOTING SYSTEM - ANONYMITY AND OPENNESS In what will be the most open and transparent voting system that the TMS Awards has ever seen in the 2 years it has been running, we will use Google Forms this year! This has a number of key advantages over last year's mechanism: It can accept more than 100 votes (you listening, Bear? Then again, I'm not sure we'll be pushing the 100 vote limit this year) You can only vote once*. In a move of such transparency that it will make The Bear look more Fanny Batter than Sepp Blatter, once you have voted you will instantly (probably) be able to see the current votes by your Muppet peers! Your identity is never captured or disclosed - although mine probably will be. You will have to be logged in to a Google account to vote, but none of your personal details is captured in the results. To test out the voting form, you can enter your NOMINATIONS using the form below: http://goo.gl/forms/Z1RT2TMXvI Nominations will close later today (probably), and then I'll start a new thread for the voting after that. Voting will continue for precisely long enough for me to be declared the TMS MVP. *Bear and Toke, if you spend your Xmas creating Google accounts just so you can fix these results, I want you to know that you may well win, but fair play will be the loser. A GRATUITOUSLY LARGE, GRATUITOUS HEADING

Got Mum a great present for Xmas...

Well, I really don't give these out willy-nilly, but these rabbits are really multiplying. It's quite electrifying. Think of it as a sort of gong from the TMS New Year's Honours' List. And, whilst, at Xmas, I usually like it when you go down on your knees whenever you come into my presents, on this occasion please "rise, Fowllyd, OBE". You are now a proud member of the Order of the Bletch Empire. Members include, well actually it's just you and Jimmy Saville at the moment. I should say that I pulled Halo's post apart for 'comic' purpose, I really am not a grammar Nazi. (BTW I feel "Yet e'en as the sang" should be "Yet e'en as they sang"). I think your brother will be easy to spot. He'll be the one stalking Frank's Cousin's posts, telling him that dyslexia is no excuse for poor speeling. Oh, and his user name will have "isn't it?" in it - a nod your proud Welsh roots.

Ahh, I'm touched. You know when someone goes out of the way to get you a really nice card, it makes all the difference. Here you go, Toke: Oh and here's something seasonal - she's in season - dirty b!tch. This really is like looking in a mirror for me:

Is that Carson Christmas, Toke?

Good King Halo knocked one out Over Bletch's "word games" And Flyd Owl joined about And came on Bletch's "verb names" Neither of them had yet played The greatest game created "I am, you are", I'm afraid Is too weird and x-rated. x

Lol Have a rabbit.

Shouldn't it be? ...who say he is a bore or ...who, each says he is a bore or ...who says he is a bore? I'm also not sure about Whom we all adore either. If Bletch is the (subject) of all your (object) adoration, then I'd be inclined to use Who we all adore. But I can make a slim case for the subject and object being switched, so I'll have to shout for Flyd Owl's brother - the word-pedant's go-to word-pedant. Bore? Moi?

OK, so I've got a Man U-supporting brother-in-law (From Leamington Spa (Royal)), and having replied to his texts through gritted teeth this morning, I need a bit of Xmas cheer. So I thought I'd send a few cards to a few of my closest Muppets. I'll start with Toke, who has litterally(sic) been like a son to me, and will make me a forum-grandpa next year! To Toke, Christmas is 'a coming Turkish is getting fat The Bear has gone commercial and Toke is a ****. From Daddy x P.S. In the real world, before sending a card, I usually wait until I receive one first. Hint. Hint. P.P.S Please excuse the apostrophic error in the image.

I'm guessing that you were Googling for crap porn when you stumbled across this. Thanks for sharing.

Interesting hobby, Oh Huge Slit. And it must give you great pleasure to watch the fluid leave your muzzle and splurge across the face and glasses of your 'victim'. If that's paintballing, then I haven't done that for many a long year.

An incredibly moving eulogy delivered by Michael Clarke at Philip Hughes' funeral (second video clip on the page). They must have been very close.

Yeah, I'd agree burpy that we haven't seen the clamour for change yet, but I predict it will come. I did see a report on one of the news channels whilst he was still critically ill, comparing cricket helmets with their baseball counterparts. The suggestion was that baseball helmets come further down the neck than most cricket helmet designs. I think that since he passed away the discussion about helmet designs has stopped either out of a mark of respect, or because it might not be legally correct to focus on the design of a helmet that might have played a role in a death. That said, the BBC carried an article that looked at the difference in design between the 2013 Masuri helmet (which Hughes was wearing), and the 2014 design. The implication being that the changes in design on the newer model may have led to a different result. I hope this isn't deemed too soon to start discussing technicalities of another human being's sad death.

All very, very sad. I'd assumed that Hughes was just horrifically unlucky, but that we'll still see knee-jerk changes proposed to protective clothing and the laws of the game - for what is very unlikely to ever happen again. This was backed up to the Australian team doctor who said that "vertebral artery dissection" is freakishly rare, and that there has only ever been 100 cases reported. He went on to say that there is only one previous example caused by a cricket ball. But now I read this, which talks about an umpire being killed this week by being struck on the neck by a ball. So, we're either seeing a cluster of freakish occurrences, or we've just been freakishly lucky that we haven't seen more before now.

Nice insight. Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk