rallyboy

well spotted Lazlo. You win the Sherlock Holmes award for observation, codebreaking, and attention to detail.... Meanwhile, I see pompey's unbeaten run continues but their turnover has hit rock bottom. With unused hotels and coaches booked the HNWIs will be coughing up a few more quid before the next court appearance with no revenue to cover Trev's ever-spiralling fees. If I didn't know any better I might think that they were terminally-insolvent. Normal service is resumed.

If Nige taught us anything it was to look for the positives. So as a tribute to him - it could be worse, he could have been f#cking prossies in his club tracksuit, driven there by his club driver, all paid for by season ticket money. Or he could have stood in the middle of the pitch with a hard on and delivered a cliched rallying call to a partially-packed park of cross-eyed sister-botherers.

Black Friday is officially here. It's the duty of all Nutjobs to distract from the main board madness and continue to mock the worse off. This will be a much-needed chill room.

I've downgraded tomorrow to the most depressing day of the year so far, even though it's likely to be snowing it will officially be Black Friday... So if you want to escape the gathering storm, chill with Nutjobs, escape the madness all around us and laugh at pompey as light relief, this thread will be the place for you.

Andronikou's legacy at Swindon? Didn't it take him seven years to 'complete' that job last time? Brace yourself for the Football League hitting Swindon with a minus 40 for 'regular insolvency events' while presenting pompey with an award for work with local charities and their assistance with advanced training courses for plumbers. I presume their fine manager will blame immigration or asylum seekers, and then head off to invade eastern Europe. It could be an opportunity for Birch to make a few more quid in his specialist area, so he might want to clear his current workload a bit sharpish.....

Chez, where's your jumper? Bearsy, you cannot be serious about One Direction, rock legend Ollie Murs blows them out of the water. He's got great innovative and edgy songs, a hat that makes him look like a nice sort of pikey, and on stage he is something else - his live show is heavier than on his Hit Parade discs, sometimes his backing track uses two tambourines! - he is possibly the most talented middle of the road shop dummy that the ruthless music business has ever tried to sell to 10-year-old-girls who have no imagination and pocket money burning a hole in their pockets. The best kick-ass rock'n'roll band in the world? - still the champions after all these years - it's Fruitbat and JimBob - Carter USM. A wall of sound, a massive moshpit of forty/fifty-somethings, bleeding ears for two days, crazy - check it out on YouTube, Brixton, Bloodsport for All. Fave gig - Numan at Wembley from back in the day. Amazing gig - Lloyd Cole acoustic, stunning. Can't cut it anymore? - The Sisters, I suspect Eldritch's voice has gone, it's all smoke and long coats.

is Gemmel mildly amused that some are ignoring the thundering ten metre waves about to send a tsunami right through the fatpipes, and are instead debating whether to house their dwindling fanbase in the 30,000 seater redevelopment, or the more impressive 34,000 seater version? All for £2.75M. I sense a picture of a giant child using a harbourside toilet being posted sometime soon....and when that cheeky little toddler appears, let's remind ourselves that I believe they wasted in excess of £1M just on those plans - the sort of money that the Trust would sell their soul for. Underwater casinos, a £500M compulsory purchase of harbourfront and dockyard, moving a ship and reclaiming the seabed? When it comes to accepting fantasy developments that even a box of sectioned frogs might query, one club's mighty fanbase stands head and shoulders above the rest. And that spoof Twitter account - it did make me chuckle, even though I'm as confused as the Saints fans who have been diving in with both feet!

The pompey rewrite history series no.837. Another one for the record books - They were the first, and still are the only club in football history forced by financial constraints to field young players. Even the first game at Plymouth we had to play all the youngsters and it has just been an incredible situation I haven’t heard of in football before. ‘I’m not harping on about it to get sympathy, I’m just saying it is the uniqueness of the situation we are in. ‘Every football club has their problems, everybody has different problems on different scales but I just think this is more unique.’ Re the court, I think Torres is right, their masterplan must be to use the PP to buy the ground and worry about the debts another day - that's only IF the Premier League gives Birch the money instead of clearing football debt....and Trev doesn't spend it on himself. They might have an issue with their vital funding being IN the business they are trying to buy and not available to use until they buy it... Either way I can see insolvency event/admin 5, or is it 6, looming on the horizon. (early 1900s, 70s, 90s, 2010, 2012?....)

another glorious courtroom triumph for the Fatpipe Faithless, yes this additional fortnight of admin and legal fees really strengthens the Trust's hand. Anyone care to estimate how many pledges have been gobbled up since the intitial court date? Two bald men are now caught in a bidding war for a broken hairdryer. I reckon Birch could empty the Trust coffers completely by the time he's established a value for the ground.

If the club was liquidated, Chinny would do 'okay', and the PDT would be alright with the world's firstest and bestest-ever phoenix club. Whereas the big losers would be the HNWI's and the council, if they are dim enough to bung a few million down a black hole. It'll be a brave councillor who stands up and supports that motion, or stands against it - in fact we could be in for the first ever silent council debate. The Trust in particular is looking to shift the exposure onto other parties, as an organisation they have little to lose - and along with Chinny they would be much better off with liquidation wiping out football debts etc. Whereas your big-hearted local businessman and the council are being invited to form an orderly queue to be taken into Jimmy Savile's dressing room for special treatment. And all this to fool a judge. Again. My money is on him being fooled.

agreed in principle?.... Yeah, that's a done deal! And I'm not sure how being asked to find twice as much as you wanted to pay can be regarded as a funding boost. That'll be a national paper that has no grasp nor interest in the fine detail. Are they trying to say that they have been joined by further property developers thus complicating their future ownership structure even more? And that's a good thing? Sounds like nothing more than last minute bluster to buy more time from the judge.

pity they couldn't match Luton's points penalty, they really should have smashed that total long ago.

They say the follow up is often not as good as the original but the recent annual summer comedies from the Fatpipes Travelling Theatre Company have been excellent in different ways. Cotterill's chaotic US tour was like a remake of Airplane, and as well-judged as the time that my Auntie's friend said yes to a backstage invite at Top of the Pops - but UnAppy's National Lampoon-inspired Gibraltan farce was just as funny. It ticked all the right boxes - it shafted a local businessman reinforcing the award-winning club's contempt for the local community, it was a free training camp to help elderly and lost players to find other clubs, and it also saw pompey humiliated on the pitch. That great pompey hero UnAppy has the Midas touch, everywhere he goes people bask in reflected glory. He made Blackpool look like Brazil, Blackburn will be sure to storm up the league under his inspired guidance, and of course he did a fantastic job against all the odds at pompey. People told him he couldn't keep them up, critics mocked his inability and inexperience and said it would cost them points, but one of the country's brightest young management prospects proved them all wrong! He took a bunch of overpaid individuals and he expertly wrote their names down on a teamsheet, sometimes twice a week, and in a different order. Who can forget those battling Churchillian speeches delivered in his Nan's front room? But his legacy is often underestimated. There are many heroes who have played vital roles in their great story, pompey wouldn't be in this fantastic place without the foundations laid by Storrie, Redknapp, Grant, Lampitt and all those other great businessmen, but UnAppy is the guy who has taken them to a new level, and that shouldn't be overlooked. When he arranged that holiday (that like all previous tours didn't cost the club a single penny) it wasn't just a chaotic waste of cash that flicked V's in the face of charities and creditors, it was the start of something very special. He may have paid over the odds for battling troops, but he left in place a squad with a quality that should get them out of this division at the first attempt. And for that we should applaud him.

Good to see UnAppy has had an immediate effect and gently pulled the handbrake on Blackburn's season. Hopefully they can now look forward to a few more midtable bore draws as they slide gently towards long ball obscurity. Though he wasn't officially in charge tonight I'm sure their glorious victory would've been put down to the famous 'Appleton effect' had Wolves been wiped out again. In a world where clowns owning football clubs is common place, Blackburn surely have the longest shoes, and the cars that fall apart more than any others.

it was funny seeing an MP's chubby little face on the TV the other night saying that the cuts being forced in the city were a disgrace and something had to be done. The bloke looked very similar to the one who was on there before, supporting a local company that had raped the local community and stolen millions of pounds from the taxpayer. He didn't seem to be sharp enough to link the loss of tax revenue to the closures of cancer wards at QA or the local prison - or perhaps he wanted to gloss over that? Maybe he's thick, or perhaps he's just a little tubby puppet that gets up and dances for votes. Go on, tuck a crossed ballot paper in his grubby blue thong...he'll say whatever you want to hear, as long as you vote for him. And of course when he or Penny say the right stuff to the ever-vigilant and questioning folk of Portsea, that makes them a pair of true-blue heroes, shuffling themselves into the corners of photoshoots.... They are right up there at the sharp end of the Pluckometer with those coaching giants Appy, Cotterill, and Avram - everyone a hero. It must be time for pompey fans to start questioning these people's records and agendas, rather than relying on Nutjobs to prompt investigations.

why would Chanrai want the club without a golden share? 1. Because he's a loan shark and they tend to like cash. 2. To annoy those who have tried to shaft him. 3. For revenge on those who abused his brother in the street. 4. To reduce his losses. 5. To control the surrounding land and open up a new revenue stream. 6. Because he so nearly fell in love with the club, but then he didn't! Looks like enough reasons to me.

it's gone quieter than Mr and Mrs Grant sat at the dinner table on their anniversary. Do pompey understand the urgency or are they gathering white flags to cover empty seats at the weekend? Judges can be dim but I'm not sure that this last minute cost-cutting effort will be enough to disguise the previous 50 weeks that Trevor and assorted managers spent cheerfully chucking creditor's cash down a black hole. Too little, too late.

Getting stronger everyday? Outgoings Birch = £9K a day plus legal fees. Club trading insolvently. HNWs putting in loans. Income. A trickle of pledges. Well I've learned something today - we must have a much better chance of signing players because we're near the bottom. It seems that the relegation battle that petrifies most people is in fact 'an attractive challenge'. World class players would much rather come to us or Reading than settle for mid-table obscurity with the likes of Liverpool or Arsenal. As for Blackpool, they need to be careful. They should only put up limited obstacles to offloading the eyebrowless one, a second refusal could be dangerous as Blackburn might think they mean it. Either way he'll always be a hero down south where he organised a free holiday for allcomers, then signed ludicrously expensive players that failed miserably and had to be offloaded in the free version of a firesale. He hasn't ushered them towards the Conference, no, no - he did amazing things despite the circumstances, none of this is his fault, he beat Saints twice and stopped us going up. Legend. Right up there with the other future England manager Cotterill.

First thought was that the penalty only appears on admin-exit so it's up to the club to time it themselves - but it is a punishment, so I can see the FL imposing it for maximum damage. If it didn't change matters at all it would seem sensible to carry it over, but they do make up the rules as they go so I wouldn't be surprised to see it imposed whenever. Then again, the points penalty looks like a distant dream. Do we think they can get out of admin this season? And if they do it should have to be before the cut-off date for admin-related penalties (March?), a rule brought in to make sure penalties actually did damage. So they could be in a pretty narrow window of opportunity to get it out of the way. Then again their plucky appeal should see it wiped off allowing them to resume that great European campaign. When I saw that claim from the club yesterday that they have the best atmosphere in world football my immediate thought was that a Nutjob had joined Liam Lawrence behind the counter, but I think they were serious... Or was it more of that famous gallows humour that they have claimed copyright on....having copied QPR's chants from the week before?

balancing income and expenditure isn't rocket surgery, Birch has played an odd game. His first priority is to his own company, have their fees reached a level where he needs most of the income that he can see, plus the PP? That would leave him with no working capital. Have the HNW individuals got cold feet? If they have any sense, yes! This blatant cost-cutting is completely out of character with the recent business history, it does suggest changes afoot. These aren't players just leaving, it's Birch sacking them, giving up on his little promotion fantasy, but something he could have done two months and several hundred thousand pounds ago. The last statement from the Trust was lower key than previous ones...have they run out of steam? I wouldn't want to get Nutjobs excited, but something's going on and it could be terminal. The sign that the game is up might be Whittingham walking, or another mass exodus from the rest of the contract renewals. Next week is likely to be VERY interesting - so cancel holidays, get your favourite Nutjob anorak on and settle in front of the computer, and ensure you have an extra large Themos of steaming Bovril to hand. I predict a further trickle of player exits as a build up to the non-event in court - but that further adjournement might be the breaking point for cashflow that Birch is trying to address.

that's going to be a bit cosy with diners and a film crew packed into a horsebrass-riddled Swift Challenger SE. Sounds like a production company cutting their budget - they can shoot the whole week in one kitchen, but tow it to a different recreation ground each night.

one day Crabman all will be revealed, and you, me, Trousers, the Gemster, mad Phil, doubting Nick and all the great Nutjobs of the world will gather together as one big dysfunctional family at the PTS thread closure party. I have that dream.... And when we do, we'll raise a glass to the months/years of our lives that we have lost on here.... I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Locks Heath the sons of former skates and the sons of former scummers will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Paulsgrove, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my little Nutjob friends will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their shirts but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.... I have a dream that one day, down in Portsea, with its vicious cross-eyed toothless mythmakers, with its MP having her lips dripping with the support of vote-harvesting, tax evasion and criminality, one day right there in Somers Town, little red boys and girls will be able to join hands with little blue boys and girls as sisters and brothers, but it ends at holding hands. I have a dream today... I have a dream that one day every Hampshire valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of our truly one club county be revealed... For I have been to the top of Portsdown Hill....and I have looked over, and I have seen the promised land, though I did have to lean out a bit and look to the right quite a lot.

if its cones you want then Al Fahim is your man, he's got a van full of the things. If you want nuts on top then give Avram a call - but don't ask him for sauce.

another blow for the former greatest fanbase in sporting history, it seems that mighty Hastings have gone past them now. The semi-pro minnows took more than a 1,000 all the way to Middlesbrough, knocking the 'amazing' 400 to Walsall off the leaderboard. And even though Hastings aren't gobbing off about how great everyone must think they are, surely it makes them bigger and more bestest than pompey. Vengeance News The heroes of The Great FA Cup Robbery - where are they now? O'Hara. Yesterday he was given the runaround by non-league Luton, the team that was penalised for financial irregularities that were minor compared to the blatant criminality that took O'Hara to Wembley and saw him strutting around St Mary's thinking he was Pele. Yes, the tubby little midfield maestro who was resigned illegally specifically for SMS via false accounting presented to a court, was humiliated by non-league opposition, and in performing so badly he helped get another manager sacked. What's that behind you? Oh, that'll be your career! I love karma.

I note on Twitter that their fans have downgraded themselves from the bestest to some of the best. That looks like a slippery slope - otherwise known as a cliff, perhaps reality is biting. Oh no it's not! - they're still banging on about the illegal cup runs and pretending they were real. Saddos. They must be obsessed. As for us, we're just jealous - yeah, that'll be it...