rallyboy

Lesson One in blending into the prison system - don't proudly pose for photos in the street, but if you do, always carry a dustpan and brush so you can pick up your teeth. Without wanting to sound like an extremist, my nasty side has no sympathy with him, while my wishy-washy caring side is quite happy to look the other way. Reminds me of when you occasionally hear on the news that some multiple child-raping murderer has been killed in a high security unit. When you hear that, is there anyone out there who can honestly say that they don't have to suppress a little cheer? In fact they should do those pieces as the last little light-hearted bit on News at Ten. Well the economy is in trouble, big job losses on Teeside today, and there's a bad earthquake in China - but on a lighter note, some scummy nonce has been knifed to death in Braodmoor with a sharpened toothbrush - here's Jim with the weather.

We all suspected that they would ignore the budget and the debt, but even I thought they could make it out of July before taking the ******. If they really are going to rip up their dodgy back-of-envelope, hopeful-in-the-extreme accounting plans already, they are following the exact blueprint of the nasty criminals that they so pluckily shooed away. Perhaps not though, maybe McInnes will remind Guy of the plan to rebuild the business in a sustainable manner and deny him further funding? And perhaps, on the very same day, Avram will spy a comely crack addict in a mini skirt and walk directly past without breaking stride.... They have the chance to turn their back on insolvency right now and stick to the budget - but tradition looks alive and well in Portsea. No doubt the Parachute Payments will justify any overspend. Because it's not like the council, football creditors, the CVA, or Robinson are owed anything. Go on Guy, spend, spend, spend! The pompey Way.

That's fantastic news for creditors, Robinson, and the council, who can all now be paid off immediately as the club is so cash rich. They are cash rich aren't they? It isn't that they've banged them out at knockdown prices with six games free to get money in asap, thus leaving no actual matchday ticket sales of any consequence? I'm sure that wouldn't lead to cashflow problems once the loans have been repaid and there's not much left to cover day-to-day outgoings until next year. No, I'm sure they are fine. Let's see if they pack the park, that will be the real test. 10,000 have their cheap tickets sorted, once the plucky lads start ripping up the division the rest will come, the future looks really good. I'm very jealous.

When used by a pompey fan it is meant as an insult so I take it as a declaration of war and tailor the conversation accordingly. My immediate response to anyone who calls me a scummer is to call them a pikey or ask why they aren't at home having a go on their sister, or down the graveyard abusing the dead. That's the fun of living on the frontline, you have to adopt a different attitude to the few and accept no sh!t. Re the dock strike, it did happen - in 1926. In London! It is a story stolen from Millwall and West Ham, and peddled in Portsea pubs by cross-eyed simpletons to the toothless and easily-led. Free myth with every lucky heather. And there are so many myths it is beyond belief. Saints fans all boo their own team, we all leave after an hour, one guy told me we gave away 13,000 free tickets every home game to illegal immigrants, Cortese has borrowed £30M, we don't own the ground - rarely can a fanbase have lapped up so much drivel and accepted it as fact. To top that off, there are even question marks over the accuracy of the original London story, let alone the revamped to suit pompey version.

Game of the day. Aldershot v pompey behind closed doors - two coffin-dodging tramps feebly shoving each other to decide who gets to sleep in the shallow end of their flooded skip. With apologies to Aldershot.

Not news!

perhaps Mr Grant has taken on board the pompey accounting policy and rather than investing in infrastructure to improve the site, he just spent the fiver on something frivolous and now has rickety page-loading and fatty broadband? He did go on a lengthy pub crawl the other day, perhaps with your fiver burning a hole in his pocket? - though the only way to make your money stretch to that would be for publicans to accept 2p in the pound.....

I don't know if anyone else has noticed but they do seem rather reluctant to settle debts. Despite the mighty power of the football authorities keeping pompey honest, I'm starting to wonder whether the hero-turned-villian-turned hero-again players will EVER get paid. As Faz says, their parachute payments are likely to go to property developers, leaving another gaping hole in the future projections. And those additional PPs are of course generated by the big clubs at the top of the game attracting further TV revenues and helping out the plucky little minnows who have fallen on hard times. But do we get a thank-you?

Who has a charge on Fatpipes? It's quicker to list those that don't! The council want their money back very soon so any income would be gratefully snatched by the Trust. Think of us when we had to write off millions on the Theo deal for short term gain, pompey must be desperate for any amount from the Tesco gig, but it has to happen soon. Has Robinson shuffled them into a corner where he can now say, tell you what, as you can't afford to pay back my loan next month, I'll call it a donation to your redevelopment fund and we are quits. Or I can always call in my security, thus frightening the council, before I chuck you debt-riddled ****ers out on the street? That is assuming that their cashflow is a little stretched by the slow take up of plucky season tickets by the 'faithful'. Though I like the new strategy. Unable to sell out your ground? Reduce the number of seats until you hit the number of people who can be bothered to attend - thus ensuring a sellout!

I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or worried. To avoid any doubt, the real Rallyboy doesn't linedance, he doesn't watch soap operas, he doesn't do ironing - and he certainly doesn't post on The News. Though RB is amused that those who dismiss this thread as the obsessive work of jealous Nutjobs have obviously spent much time on here themselves, have created a News identity, then gone to the trouble of eloquently posting in the traditional style of the average lucky heather-pedalling, truth-denying, sister-bothering, myth-spreading, terminally-deluded, fatty-handed, clock-stealing, fortress-abandoning pluckster, that we have all come to recognise. Yes, it is indeed envy that drives this ungainly beast of a thread. And for those visitors researching their next News post, personally I would like to see more of my hard-earned season ticket money spent on prostitutes and poor players, and a few more bank notes ripped from the little fingers of dying kids, in my name, while I stand alongside applauding, but you can't have everything. Unlike history, where you can ignore the debt but retain the spoils, and hope that no one has noticed. ...Nearly 90,000 posts would suggest that a few people have noticed. And that's what makes the webchat format so entertaining - history is rewritten, PR is spun, the easily-led are rounded up, facts are dodged, and the Trust glosses over difficult questions faster than a culturally-dim council jobsworth paints over a Banksy.

You make it sound dirty. They were not molesting it, the pretty little plaice was gagging for it! If it hadn't been provocatively strutting around in a pair of fishnets, the 'incident' wouldn't have happened.

Nice little hint on there that some of the returning few think that Brentford was just the start, and that pitch invasions and setting up meets with visiting firms of about 20 dinosaurs from Football Factory Past will be the norm this season. As for the map - that is looking like a tight space to squeeze any ground redevelopment into... In fact it looks tight to fit that Tesco in, so I'm wondering if the artist has been asked to give an impression that is slightly shy of accurate. In reality they could end up in the shadow of a massive store, but with some nice tarmac to park a burger van on. If Robinson's deal goes through they will have no room to move behind the fatty end, and while there would just be enough room to spin the pitch, there would be no room for sensible access to the new ground, so it would be unlikely to get planning permission - especially with the increased lorry and customer traffic of a Tesco next door! Good deal though. For Robinson.

It is still soon if we are talking glaciation timescales. Give them a chance you impatient nutjob! When you take over the biggest club in world football there are priorities. They had to secure the training ground, get the shop open, unfat the pipes, release the kit, pay for the clock, post out 15,000 season tickets, sign an exclusive multi-million pound deal with Tesco to tarmac a corner of wasteland, and get the bins emptied. And they've made incredible progress, probably the bestest progress ever, and now that the bins are sorted they can crack on with other pressing tasks. So they will as promised release the details of the deal in this new era of transparency, but there is a slight hold-up beyond their control - they just need to cross the t's and some need to uncross their eyes.

So the 'stadium development' is a new food kiosk and a bit of car park... While next door neighbour Mr Robinson has sold to Tesco. Nice deal.

why was the woman on the mobility scooter carrying a big painting under her arm?

so apart from trying to stitch up another creditor by playing the old 'nothing that happened before April 2013 has got anything to do with us, apart from the cup' card, and being unable to start pre-season training because of legal issues, and failing to open the doors to their sweatshop ropey kit emporium on time because of legal issues, it's been a pretty average day for the custodians of the club future. This club ownership gig is a piece of ******. Makes me jealous.

I still find it very difficult to grasp this new idea that they claim to have a wagecap, and the bombshell that they intend to adhere to it. It's like Jimmy Savile sternly warning young girls to be wary if they go backstage after Top of the Pops.

I think you'll find that the solitary piece of moulded aluminium discarded by a tear-faced but plucky child will in fact be recycled, reborn - and as the river of hope laps at the doors of the fatty fortress, a new dawn will warm heavy hearts and light the way for world football to follow. A small but glowing beacon of expectation shines through the darkness of football's greed culture. For it may be just a can, but as that proud child shrugs off the past (apart from the cup) and wipes the tears of criminality away with a blue scarf, a scarf frayed by seasons of torment, that simple can signals an opportunity. Like the coffers it is now empty. But that solitary can is now owned by fans - and those plucky few who never gave up will now see it recycled into something worthy. It is a little tin of optimism. And that's why the rest of football can only look on in envy as the mighty blue army drinks a toast to itself, with empty cans, fatty water lapping around their ankles, and hope in their hearts.

Another player who has snubbed bigger wages to come to Fratton Yeah, as he hobbled out of the hospital a host of big clubs were queued up trying to sign him, but there was only one place he wanted to go - he shrugged off the massive offers from Burton and Gillingham and joined the best club side in world football, probably because of the mighty blue army that never gave up...apart from when they booed, or just didn't go to games. Previously they just blatantly lied about outbidding other sides, now they are fibbing about other sides outbidding them. Deluded. I just wish they would stop making stuff up, is that too much to ask?

The News is moving, lock, stock and Trust PR machine. Not seen those stickers before - they seem to be accusing the men who bought in heroes like Norris of being rapists. That's not right, those men financed the historic cup win and that glorious victory at St Mary's that denied the scummahs a return to the Premier League...those stickers suggest that the few are fickle, will rewrite history at the drop of a clown hat, and will briefly dedicate their life to the next person who shows them any affection. A bit like an aged, milky-eyed, manky dog at a last resort rescue centre. #victims

what a great actor, a sad loss at such an age. T was the ultimate bloke that you don't cross.

October 9th - the big North V South day! We are at Manchester United....they play Bury.

There's nothing quite as sobering as the fixture list to remind you of where you are in the world - reality sinks in when you see it in black and white. Especially when you're playing against teams that you didn't know existed two years ago. I recall being horrified seeing us in the same division as people like Dagenham - but you have to remind yourself that you are in that division on merit (or lack of it) and you can't look down on anyone, they've earned the right to be there just as much as we deserved to be there. The few need to realise that they are now on a par with Morecombe, Fleetwood etc - pompey community fc is not a big club - that was just a previous side with a similar name 65 years ago. They will need to adjust to the brave new spartan world of fan-funded ownership pretty quickly, and drop the delusion that they are as big as some Championship sides.

Purely based on history I'm not convinced that the football authorities really have them under control yet. The FL should have them in the sort of throttling grip you'd have on Nigella Lawson if you were playfully debating how long a boiled egg needs, but I suspect the only thing holding them back at the moment is their own sensible business plan. Previously they just flicked the Vs at any high court or restriction, let's wait and see if those days really are gone - business plan A could go out of the window the first time the few ask for a big signing.

They really could do without their new local derby that soon. Win and they are ready to take on Aldershot for local bragging rights, get thumped and suddenly the season looks less cheery than is currently being spun. I'm sure Guy's plucky troops will give the awesome bestest travelling army much to cheer in the game that Sky will be desperate to claim. It's the big one. Sort of.