rallyboy

as far as a new buyer goes, I'm just starting to think that perhaps the figures might not stack up. That looks like a lot of cash needed in the first year of ownership, even if Chanrai and CVA1 take a hit. And let's not confuse wage cuts with deferred - two very different things. The players are guaranteed their dirty cash, they had no choice in the matter of delaying it, and it was the greedy three that pushed them over the edge, so let's drop all the 'our heroic lads showing the pompey spirit' b0ll0x that I've seen in The News comments. And I've seen Lawrence trying to pass a ball eight yards so I wouldn't trust him to sit the correct way on a toilet, if they had one, let alone operate a ticket office. Can't see that getting footballers involved in admin work is a shrewd move. The ship is sinking yet the battling troops at Fortress Fratton spin continues, and when there isn't enough of that let's just make something up about Saints. Yeah we are really teetering on the brink mate, it could go either way.... We really need to stop giving asylum seekers and kiddie fiddlers all those free tickets, but it's the only way we can fill the ground. More myths from the supporters who couldn't Pack a fricking suitcase. Is the Omnibot2000 the one with real chrome and a surprised look on its cyber face?

It's gonna be that Cher classic methinks... Vlad the Embezzler isn't even offering to give the stolen money away, he wants to convert it into equity should Mr Birch manage to save the business. So my pompey friends, I help bigtime, play up the team! Pack the arena! and if this new bloke manages to offload some of the other debts, count me back in! If I'm not in jail There's nowt as generous as those who make a living through organised crime. Accept maybe loan sharks, and their little puppet helpers who keep back £200K for expenses.

chance - following a bare knuckle period of consultation you've won the marketing rights to sell lucky heather and official matchday horse brass outside the ground, cram your eight children into the front seats of the untaxed transit and proceed to an illegal dog fight on an industrial estate to celebrate. community chest - an old man near you has a missing roof tile, help yourself to £30,000 from his account. general note - ignore the rules and other players, just put your little hat on whatever square you fancy.

not seen any official line about parachute payments, another skate myth methinks - they've become so confused their making them up about themselves now. So the situation is quite bad? No **** Conan Doyle, what a bombshell that is. hold the front page...or perhaps read the front page of this thread and it's probably made clear on there. Pity that Lampitt's gone but the damage he did continues to hamper the club moving forward. All well and good Packing the Park, and I was gently mocked for suggesting they might get 18/19K but I reckon they will now that Chanrai has moved one seat to the left, but the money that would raise won't touch the sides. Extra 5,000 x 6 games = 30,000. With kids etc that's about £500K. So a near sell out Fratton for six games will raise enough extra income to pay the wages and tax for ONE week. As for a pompey trust buyout, surely the reality that Birch has tried to educate them with tonight has ended that as a going concern. If the Prem do really say no more money it's over the same day, and even Chanrai would chuck it in - but I don't think they have said that. Go on, prove me wrong on that, it would be proper game over.... He has to defer wages to continue, personally I'd like him to dismantle the squad that was criminally assembled - then we'd be getting somewhere towards justice. I think I can see justice on the horizon, but we're not there yet.

Band on the Run might be more apt.

so the rewritten CVA may not now be massive crunch time but I still reckon finding £1.2M for the child-maimer in 40 days will stretch them a little! Though by then Ho will have written that off, explained away the minor clerical errors that led to pompey becoming the laughing stock of world football, and cancelled the whole CVA. And of course found the deeds that shows that SMS belongs to the council, or the Triad, or whoever fits the myth.... Has anyone ever posted so many false claims on one thread?? More importantly, where is Lord Lampitt? Surely he hasn't murdered the nanny and fled to Namibia? I bet they find his Ford Corsair at Newhaven.... Hopefully Birch does retain low-key Lampitt to advise him on finance as he is the worst organiser of a budget since Storrie ploughed all of Rosie's savings into underwater casinos. She thought that was a proper shafting until Avram visited Harry, came in the kitchen and saw her down on all fours lapping up Chum, wiggling that pretty little Bulldog tail at him.... And when I say Avram came in the kitchen, in his defence his long-suffering missus did ask him to splash out on a new cooker.* Anyway, enough of much-celebrated Fratton legends who drained the club of cash while ushering them away from the big TV money forever, all performed with his trousers around his boney ankles, how's the new lad enjoying his first managerial job, is he turning into Cotterill yet? Other people's fault, whole world against us, life's not fair...? He must be nearly there, harsh refs, down to bare bones.... What do you have to do to be disliked down there? The damage done by Storrie, Grant, Cotterill etc and the glory boys of 2008 has left them where they are today - Kanu is still ripping them off everyday but they love The King. Yeah he's the King alright, the King of MASSIVE wages for minimal playing time, he can't run because his wheelbarrow of cash is too heavy and it's doing his back in. The same as Lawrence, won't cough up £400 to look at his own injury, but more than happy to trouser £3,000 EVERY DAY for dressing up like a footballer - and still they chant his name... The few are very forgiving - I thought that when I saw their cheery faces welcoming their rivals at Fratton the other month. I look forward to returning those feelings in April, if they make it. *same gag, 7th version.

if Hacker owes pompey any money the only way they'll see that is if they can prise it out of Chanrai's cold dead fingers. AA still has a starring role to play here, what with his challenge, and any other mischief he gets up to - and he will. And when they say Feb's wages are to be paid, that'll be ten days of it, and it's going to players instead of tackling debts, thus annoying the taxman a little bit more. Putting the little issue of work-for-free January aside, Birch will do well to eke out the money for one month to cover four. His main aim must be to defer player's salaries - they simply can't get to the summer paying those wages, and they certainly can't bank on massive advance season ticket sales. They really need to Pack the Park - and there is no Chanrai excuse now, the club really needs their cash so I expect to see some 18/19K gates. But such is the insanity down there that those extra 4000 punters a fortnight will barely cover one player's wages. Birch also knows that he has CVA1 looming like a freight train - that'll be crunch time. April could be a big month for them. Or us.

AA's autograph must be worth a few quid now, is Birch releasing any signed photos? Any challenge must delay proceedings and if it's one thing pompey ain't got it's time. And money. Morals. A future. Don't feel guilty G, just try and come up with something else to do once this thread goes pop. Is Birch a local one man band, or has he got two or tree branches elsewhere?

yeah Gemmel, you and me can go to that meeting and read them our favourite gags off this forum....that would go down as well as a scabby crack addict in Avram's Fiat Panda. Funny email I've had this afternoon from the other side, someone trying to explain that they weren't breaking the rules as I suggested, apparently they've committed so much criminality that it's outside the league's jurisdiction so poor old pompey are in fact having to write the rules for them! So there! I wonder how admin boy is getting on, that must be a hell of a first day at work - 'what's that big bonfire?', 'why's the shredder seized up?', 'come out from behind the filling cabinet Mr Andronikou, we can all see you....and give the keys back...' AA and Chanrai must have an attack planned soon, you don't shrug off a loan shark that easily. They might be getting away with it a little bit but it's still entertaining.

in the last week there's definitely been a change to the usual media love-in with the plucky bestest club. National journalists Rod Liddle, Jim Holden, Steve Claridge and now the Guardian have all reported the situation as it really is, some even mentioning 'cheating' - add in the Barnsley reaction to the game, the Orient statement about the 'penalty' and reactions on other fan boards, and the tide has definitely turned. Welcome to our world. This change of attitude must make us on here look less like nutjobs and more like pioneering thinkers....and the next time someone starts on about the passionate fans and poor old pompey the rest of the press box may give them odd sideways glances. Those myths have been exposed. 236 to go.

nice link Si, some good predictions there, and some people saying the thread should have closed back then as the Russians had arrived to save the day! The worrying thing is the thread is just as funny reading it back again - that means you could go back to the start and have a good laugh even though you know what's coming up, and in some cases, because you know what's coming up! Anyway, new week, more hilarity - let's see if Lampitt makes it to Wednesday - and what the administrator has up his sleeve. As long as it isn't more signings then it should be another good week - and of course AA will be mounting his great challenge, and explaining away that last minute impulse bribe that Chanrai dangled in front of the court....

yeah, WBA are paying his wages - and they packed him off with a shedload of sandwiches, a tent and a sturdy bicycle - so he's not costing pompey a penny. And Trousers, you might mock me, but Thorne does eat squirrels, and without any sauce - it's a fact! The kitman's son told me - and I see him socially every few weeks, between toy conventions.

I have to salute the great people of Barnsley and their fine football team tonight. At least someone has dished out some frickin justice this week. Having looked at their website even the BBC refuse to impose the penalty on pompey - what is going on there? He isn't AA, but the jury is still out on an administrator that sanctions the additional costs that Thorne's signing has created. But Rallyboy you bedwetting nutjob, Thorne's wages are being paid by WBA... Yeah but he ain't hitchiking to games, eating squirrels and sleeping under a railway bridge - he is costing money. Money that could be used to pay the pompey office staff, or even a bloody charity. Disgraceful. So well done Barnsley, and respect to any team at the bottom of the championship that is living within their means and competing in a sporting event on equal terms.

And he's paying for his own travel, food and hotels is he? No, didn't think so - they have just added to their outgoings with a free player, from a club that they owe money to! They are seriously taking the p1ss now - I do hope Southern Electric has noted that pompey seem to have some money after all. The only company in UK insolvency history to take on new staff as part of a drastic cost-cutting exercise. Ridiculous, I didn't think they could sink lower in my estimation but there you go.

let's get to the detail here. 1. The penalty for their Premier League administration didn't cost them a single league place. 2. This time their punishment thus far, is to drop three league places. I'm not sure that a one and a half places drop per administration is that harsh - the places to £millions stolen ratio is quite hefty in their favour and would suggest that crime does pay. This time it might be different in that the punishment will come slowly through an administrator trying to drag the business back from the criminality of deliberate and blatant insolvent trading. If he has the intention and acumen to reduce the squad, then we will start to see justice. In the last two days plucky pompey has told us that their injury crisis is so deep that they need emergency loans because they might not be able to fulfill the fixture today. All part of the plea for mercy from the football authorities - and it worked. So I await their team sheet with interest...just 11 fit players was the number quoted the other day, we'll see if they can muster up a sub or two from the yoof. Or perhaps we'll see some miraculous recoveries and a nice away win for their expensively-assembled squad? As an annoyed Lord Sugar Tweeted it, business as usual. I'll consider sympathy when the leopard demonstrates that it has changed it's spots because I reckon they have conned the FL this week. But I'm cynical like that.

well that's the last we'll see of Chanrai, they certainly put him in his place! I didn't believe it would be that easy to shake off a loan shark, I guess the type of guy who would think nothing of killing someone who owes him a tenner is actually more respectful of the UK legal system than we realised...apart from having full control of the parent company, he has had it. A new dawn for pompey. They should get a few loans in and see if Appy's gritty troops can battle their way to play-off glory at a packed Fortress Fratton, with the FL financing admin as an apology for putting the club in that mess! I feel a centre circle speech coming on!...or is it an erection, I always get them mixed up... Well done Penny, the passion of the fans really shone through and made the judge see sense - it was the bestest 12th man what won it. And other similar cliched history-rewriting drivel that appeals to simpletons. pompey til I.......why have the lights gone off?...

that was a speedy decision by the judge.... Could it perhaps be 'tell you what Mr Andronikou, I think the business is insolvent, you tell me otherwise, I can't be arsed to argue it here, so let's just send someone else in to have a look and they can decide'. With utilities cut off and the company unable to raise £400 for a scan, I can't see that this is a glorious victory for the club today. As for the feeble, 'we were in a different league' argument, please, do yourself a favour and retain some dignity. Re the squad, if any 'free' loan players do arrive with the costs (travel, hotel, food etc) involved, surely pompey will be the first company in UK history to take on new staff as part of a cost-cutting exercise. You are in administration you t0ssers, forget loans, forget ref's decisions or whether it was a corner or a goal kick, the Barnsley game is totally irrelevent, you are trying to save the business, so for fecks sake stop talking about new players!!! Nice to see the old dear on the scooter again, she looks like she's doing alright. I reckon she'll get a few more outings yet.

I reckon TopGun has the figures about right. I find it difficult to believe that they will really be sent to a liquidation date on Monday, even though they are clearly insolvent and there is no sign of anyone to fund administration. But whatever happens I guess it will be win-win - They go into admin and AA gets to destroy the business, the league might even chip in with a sensible points penalty, OR they are sent away to plan for a meeting on Monday with a bloke in a big hooded robe carrying a sickle. If they come away with a ten point penalty and no loss of players then we might just have to cast our minds back a few hundred pages and admit that Nick could still be right. That would be outrageous. But I reckon we'll actually see the wheels of justice start to turn tomorrow. So sleep tight my pretty things, it might just be the launch of Judgement Day in the morning...and god help anyone who is busy doing proper stuff as they'll have ten complicated pages to read when they get in. Worst case scenario? A delay granted for AA to make up accounts. But Liam Lawrence's leg can't wait that long, nor can the staff trying to get training equipment out of a locked shed... Just like TCWTB's tats, it looks bad.

could it get any worse? The club in crisis, Hampstead market's leading budget fetish goods supplier is having second thoughts about his chess-administrating son's impulse gift, and now Avram's grave-digging business and Undersea Casino Exploration company has been robbed of diggers. What can Hammer Films' favourite stony-faced prossie-botherer use now when he wants to part the turf and slip in his heavy machinery? What a frickin nightmare! Thankfully the Spinnaker Tower will be glowing blue as a beacon of hope, so that's good. In fact the tower is a good representation of the city, a sturdy landmark offering future hope, and a lesson from history. pompey were above us for six years - the same amount of time that the tower was late to open. It went over budget, there seemed to be no financial control..... And the lift...after throwing cash at the problem for a decade, engineers recently confirmed that after a few jittery attempts at making it up, it's never going to see the top flight again. Yes, the Spinnaker Tower is most definitely blue.

effing nutjobs, every single one of..........us. Re the full membership, while I would welcome further opportunities to use a traditional blend of acid wit and plain facts to highlight the hilarious criminality precariously disguised as a business to the east, it isn't a reluctance to spend money that restricts my posting. As it is I've lost months of my life in this thread, if I had unrestricted access I would suffer mental problems. And you don't have to look too far on here to see how that can creep up on people.... I've read every single page, you must if you want to keep on top of what is happening - some postings take half an hour to put together, as the likes of HolePuncture know, the time involved editing a rant so you don't come across as demented is taxing..... So many thanks for the nominations, I love you too, but Mr Munster is correct, I'm desperately trying to prove to Lampitt that quality over quantity can work... With the end game looking close it would be amusing to have a PTT social event at some point, either when they go pop and the thread closes so we recognise Duncan's lifetime achievement with a drink in Southampton, or when we get promoted? - whatever happens first. I genuinely look forward to meeting some of the pants-wetting nutjobs behind the funniest posts - there has been some classic comedy on here, along with great investigative and technical analysis. I've had a ball on here, its rare to go a page without a laugh out loud moment, it would be good to put faces to names and answer those worrying questions.... Why would you call yourself Trousers, and do we want to know the detail? Is that Archie Gemmel? Is Phil really Jason King with a golf club? Are Crab Lungs something you only see on Masterchef?...... Just like the unpublished Conan Doyle manuscript, Sherlock Holmes and The Baffling Case of the Turd That Wouldn't Flush, one day these mysteries should be solved.

so the poor league and the bestest fans were cruelly conned by Vlad's handwritten bank guarantees on the back of an envelope?? Well no other f0cker was fooled by him. I expect even Ho's ITK mate (belated happy bday by the way) that he sees socially every few weeks even sussed him out fairly quick, even the idiot boy son-of-the-kitman must have seen through him. It took ten seconds on Google, let alone a chat with the FSA and the FBI. No excuse there, next! With all the criminality and lies that still surround the club it's not even been an issue that the current team and the first half of the season were funded by money stolen from pensioners and 'cleaned' for organised crime - any normal club would be horrified at that link, but that's small fry in their list of crimes, doesn't even warrant a mention. The season only hit trouble when the filthy cash dried up. Lampitt denying any involvement in the current crisis? He's got the business acumen of Peter Storrie on LSD, and he'll be living in Rosie's holiday kennel pretty soon. The bonkers Q over Q approach David - does it ring a bell? Do you remember the pay way too much for players no one else wants and cross your fingers for a frickin miracle approach?....idiot. The current crisis is clearly self-inflicted. Inviting criminals into the boardroom, playing fantasy football with real money that belongs to other people and moaning like Tiny Tears when it all goes wrong? It's b0llox. We can be repetitive on here and go round in circles sometimes but the lies currently eminating from the east as a smokescreen are ridiculous. Saints owe big money to the taxman, nazi tank drivers, 13,000 free tickets at SMS -YAWN, YAWN, YAWN. As for Ho's trolling on squad numbers, I can understand if the success of your work involves you having to think like an eight year old, but leave that persona at work or people will think you are a little bit special. Let's cut the cr4p. They are in a hole because of their own mismanagement. Not because a criminal turned out to be a criminal, or any of that other stuff designed to confuse matters. The charge - Overspending in an attempt to gain a sporting advantage. GUILTY, take them down. Next case.....

this forming of a new club incorporating old and new names and history should be the way forward. I for one would fully respect new local rivals Havant and Portalooville. Had to chuckle at the irony and honesty of Ridsdale on the radio just now asking how on earth Rangers could be allowed to spend big fees on players when they hadn't paid their tax bill. Yeah, welcome to our world Peter, you have finally caught up.

I recall being miffed that we only generated 27K for our big call to action, but 14K tonight is poor. The south coast attendance debate is definitely over. Yes there are reasons to stay away, but if you keep peddling the fantasy about the bestest and magnificent support etc but can't back it up, then people will laugh when it doesn't happen. They need to accept that all fans care about their clubs equally, yes the few are special, but not in a good way. So let's hear no more of the media myth about how great they are, because they are clearly not. As for the greedy trio who refused to leave, they certainly showed Ipswich didn't they! Lots of talk, not a lot of walk - time to strengthen, bring in some emergency loans on £15K a week. Cue more boring cliched media stories about 'battling pompey', 'Appleton's troops', 'Fortress Fratton', 'the magnificent fans keeping the spirit alive'. But we know the truth. Just get Plan B up and running and leave all the PR spin and sh1t behind.

funny looking back at this thread seven months ago - there has been little change - other than Ho's attitude and behaviour which has improved dramatically. I'm not sure whether I prefer deluded and often wrong but politely trolling AFC Ho 2012, or seriously deluded, very wrong, AWOL for months, abusive, trolling, anonymous, unlikable Ho FC......like the Plan B club, I guess time will tell. We'll be nice and patronisingly supportive to Plan B in the first years, wishing them well, post-criminality, then before you know it they'll be in the lower reaches of the football league, dreaming of glory, shafting creditors, ripping off charities, and giving it large like nothing has happened. I see an honesty in some of the few but not many - Humble pie - they need to have a slice each. Less of the arrogant claims about riches, and shafting local businesses to finance millionaire journeymen, a bit more of an admission about the shame associated with the badge would generate more sympathy. And that's another thing I don't get. If you want to drive the criminal out of your club, stop giving him money. Partially-packing the park just gives him more. Turning your back on the game is another odd thing - staying outside for 15mins shows the owner of your buying power, its a threat - but copying something Man City copied from someone else, for a different reason, is nonsense. As for those plucky brave battling players, they are raping the club of every last penny - why should they get support? Did any of the millionaires pay the office staff? Imagine if you earned £100,000 a month and a colleague earned £600. Wouldn't it be nice to help him out when wages were delayed, as I believe happened last time? That great pompey spirit doesn't extend to the dressing room, yet tonight they will be heroes. Before driving back to their London homes with cash swilling about in the boot of the Lexus. It's all looks way too late and a bit misguided down east at the mo.

Lampitt said last night that they were 'close to breaking even' last year. He didn't mention that the good housekeeping involved £10.8M of external funding and they hadn't paid Ben Haim's wages nor prepared for the CVA. I was pleased to hear on Solent that he sounds like a bloke who would overspend again tomorrow if allowed - he comes across as suicidally ambitious with other people's cash. So someone needs approx £50M to buy the club - how's the 12th man fundraising going? Couple more car boot sales to go methinks. And another £100M to build a ground and infrastructure. For the same money you could buy THREE Premier League clubs. And AA has sown the seeds of a £10.8M debt that he can attempt to utilise for his client to buy wiggle room in a CVA vote. It'll be interesting to see whether the court allows them to protect themselves - they'd better have some new answers on the blatant insolvency this time. The court should have a VERY good look at their projections for the next six months. I still see the court being fooled by AA's claims of deals in 48 hours and yachts in the harbour, billionaires walking out of Southampton Airport etc. Let's not forget how dim the last judge was. And the media need to start telling people exactly how much of the previous debt they have paid off.