Verbal

So which of the big teams has a keeper worse than Green?

You're going as Walter who loves his sums?

Nope. Will strengthen it. Who have been the largest beneficiaries of this crisis? The Germans.

Oh god (!). It's you.

I hope the players' union are on to this. The pressure the high earners are under now is relentless, and arguably illegal.

And Turkish will go into meltdown. A cloudless sky AND a silver lining!

Anothersaint is right, dumbass. Either is fine. The only difference now is that learnt is more archaic. So your use and defence of it is fitting, don't you think?

Alpine really does take the biscuit. Hilarious. Good to see he got nailed in the second post though.

No its a different point of view - you know, one of those rights thingies that historically we wrestled from the monarchy.

It is, especially if that train stops and doubles their attendance.

How could that possibly happen?

Pap, get with the programme. We've decided to unite under the banner 'Queen on a Bike' (TM Sergei Gots).

Really? Why are you 'sure'?

So you'd say no if he can't play Chelsea? Sheesh!

So you think England has always had a monarch?

I bet they're not negotiating a manager's contract for Di Mateo. I'd be amazed to see him keep the job, given the relationship, or lack of it, he has with Abramovitch.

I'm sure there is. But it's not coming from the company who pulled this pathetic little scam on the unemployed. It has 'profusely apologised'.

I'm sure you live in a fairytale castle, Sergei. You're right about beer - hate the stuff. Here's the problem though. As grindingly tedious (even for QE2 evidently) as the whole boat thing was, it did have a rather unfortunate but entirely characteristic 'let them eat cake' moment. 30 long-term unemployed were bussed up from Bristol by one of those subcontracting 'security' firms of which governments are so fond these days. They were in London to act as stewards, but were paid nothing, discovered they had to buy their own food, were dumped under London Bridge as their first night's accommodation, and left in a waterlogged Essex field to pitch their own tents in the dark for the second night. For all the wealth and pageantry on display, you'd have thought someone could have stretched to paying these people a wage for their work - something at least. But no - and that's pretty shameful, don't you think?

The politics of envy, Sergei! I thought you were against that. And 'Queen on a Bike' is a great slogan - thanks!

So Sergei, can I sign you up to the bicycling royals campaign? Just think: you can indulge all your fantasies of being a white-Russian royal personage by swanning around in Balmoral.

It may be expensive around here, but I choose to work in the most equal city in Britain.

Did no one notice how utterly DULL the whole affair was? The BBC has been getting it in the neck for their beyond-tedious coverage of the boating, but actually the real problem was with the event itself (I was involuntarily there because I live by the river) It was a one-trick pony that went on FOREVER. And anyone getting their rocks off to Gary Barlow and Cliff Richard has clearly taken obeisance to Her Maj a step too far.

I have had an excellent couple of days, thank you very much. What all this pomp and Cliff Richard has demonstrated is that about half the British public appears to have a rather sappy relationship with Queenie. No harm done. However, some, like Gemmel, appear to take it further with what seems disturbingly like a mummy-fixation. It would be impolite to delve further. This enthusiasm (the public's, not the oddballs') is for a monarch, not for monarchy - and it will exhibit itself as separation anxiety as soon as Charlie heaves up on the throne. One thing for the record: I've proposed several times that we keep the monarchy, but redefine them as bicyclists on the Scandinavian or Dutch model. That way, the palaces, castles, art collections and Duchys, all paid for by the public purse but from which the public are excluded, can be handed to the National Trust, opened up and the benefits accrue to the British public.

WTF is a Dell sized midset? New bling from an admirer?

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