Waterside.saint

I suspect they'll go for the free carrier bag, because shopping in Tescos will be more entertaining than watching #lowlyportsmouth play #p!sspoorfootball

Next: 'How to get turkeys to vote for Christmas'

Yes, but what we're failing to grasp here is this won't be any old smaller car park and a few licks of paint, it'll be the bestest small car park and the finest few licks of paint that ever was

Works for me - should download the disappointed skate's bitter complaint as a pdf

The penny may be starting to drop for some of the disappointed phew as it slowly dawns on them just how f@cked they are now: http://idox.portsmouth.gov.uk/online-applications/files/3B540F7A3FF146AB0C090B5FE7FBEC02/pdf/14_00128_FUL-KEITH_TOMLINS-645663.pdf

I make that cramped parking for no more than 150 cars Assuming that each parked vehicle is packed with 4 people, that means parking for no more than 600 of the bestest Where oh where will the rest of the 15000 go I wonder?

Meanwhile, football genius Richie blames the parlous state of their potato patch - you know, the one they could easily have upgraded during their moment in the sun a few years ago, but preferred to neglect in favour of bribing a mercenary army to nick the FA cup with - for their #p!sspoorfootball: http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/pitch-trouble-forces-blues-to-grind-1-5883338 "... there is no getting away from the fact that the playing surface is the worst it has been in several years, with one area near the players’ tunnel, in particular, causing major concern. While a large amount of sand has been used in an attempt to try to absorb some of the excess moisture, it certainly does not make it easy to pass the ball on the pitch. Barker explained: ‘It’s not an excuse but it’s nigh on impossible to play entertaining, attractive football on our pitch at the moment. ‘There was one point where Jed Wallace went to play a pass and it just stopped dead in the mud. ‘The pitch is not helping us at all. It’s not great." Oh how are the mighty fallen

Their recent history shows that, like any raddled fishy trollop, they don't mind being taken any which way by any passing chancer with a few coins to jingle. Until - perhaps that should be *if* - that changes, they'll remain the laughing stock of the South Coast

They clearly need a MASSIVE expansion in stand capacity to accommodate their MASSIVE fanbase. Meanwhile, back in reality, the fishiest phew struggle to fill even the safety-reduced capacity of their tatty timber tabernacle

Sounds like a Ponzi scheme

Yep, #p!sspoorportsmouth now small-time even by comparison with #accringtonstanley

That pizza guy's 'pompey dream' is coming true then. Just hope his middle-aged ticker will last 90 mins, if not he'll find himself sitting next to Agent Connolly on the bench at Oxford faster than you can say 'fish'

Reminds me of this little cameo: Remember that cynical attempt by a discredited father using his daughter to defend the indefensible? Remind you of anyone?

This is a particularly telling example of #SkateDoubleFink and tells you everything you need to know about the culture of their club. Apparently, Exeter are "a well-run club" and a "model for fans [sic] ownership." This despite the fact they've put Tisdale on a contract they can't afford, are nearly bust and are going to have to get the begging bowl out again. Ring any Chimes? It's certainly a model I recognise, but not one I'd aspire to. Ring any Chimes? I'd recognise that fishy stink of breathtaking hypocrisy anywhere...

Stay classy, #p!sspoorportsmouth

Well quite. Just ask some of those 'negotiably virtuous' womenfolk of Horton Heath in whose not-inconsiderably-expensive company Avram whiled away many a rainy afternoon. Now thats an image I shall have to work at forgetting.

It's been pointed out in this thread that the dividing line for that lot between HERO and VILLAIN is razor-thin and inconsistent: e.g. one moment they're demanding that 'King Kanu' be awarded the freedom of the city for his heroic role in stealing the FA Cup, the next he's the most spat-upon reviled villain for wanting to be paid what they owe him. And so-on, and on, and on...

Meanwhile, Pompey Pravda excuse #p!sspoorportsmouth, blaming that well-known problem for 'the sleepiest giant that ever was', namely their L2 competitors reliably raising their game when playing their 'cup finals' against #lowlyportsmouth: http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/time-for-weak-blame-culture-to-go-1-5864658 'Pompey have never looked likely to live up to their billing as League Two title-contenders, after being installed as bookies’ favourites for the crown last summer. A number of reasons have been forwarded for that, including a new squad being put together and teams raising their games when facing the Blues.

Hopefully the BESTEST PLUCKIEST RELEGATION SCRAPPERS will get thrashed by a genuinely fan-owned team this afternoon. Come on you Grecians

... and then #factlessallen unwittingly exposes Agent Connolly's tactics: http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/pompey-0-torquay-1-1-5851319 'And to twist the dagger in the wound, David Connolly appeared as a substitute to score for Oxford on his debut in their win over AFC Wimbledon. He had declared himself injured for the Blues in their previous two fixtures and had not trained since the Mansfield match.

I didn't realise that Agent Connolly had gone quite so far from hero to villain: http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/barker-up-against-clock-for-weekend-recruit-1-5858538 ‘The fact David Connolly asked to go has left us a little bit short and that is something I need to consider with a few midweek games coming up. Hopefully the longer term strategy will include his giving the occaisional goal away to #lowlyportsmouth's rivals whilst boosting Oxford's position

Well, they won't be getting there by rail

Happy days.