Waterside.saint

With any luck we'll soon be able say sorry, don't really follow non-league football

They're well matched - #factlessallen & #lowlyportsmouth

Its a good job those parachute payments are paid in perpetuity. Oh...

One day soon fatpipes will complete its long drawn out process of decay then they'll be able to fund its replacement from the war chest they built up during the good times when they were in the prem Oh...

#lowlyportsmouth coming soon to #moneyfields

The truth is that the sleepiest giants have been 'ripping up their league' by playing silly b*ggers with money they don't have for so long they can no longer tell the difference between that and insolvent trading. The upside is that the never-ending slow motion train wreck that is #lowlyportsmouth continues to provide fresh LOLs for us bystanders as their struggle to prove, against all the evidence, that they don't deserve to be where they are become ever more frantic Who's next for them? I assume Maradonna still harbours that secret longing to make his pompey dream come true and pull their chestnuts out of the fire for them, but he'll be needing a zimmer frame soon so he'd better hurry up

Sometimes even lycra can't hide the truth #fatpenny

It may prove hard to distinguish seismically between their MASSIVE EARTHSHAKING CELEBRATIONS and the terminal creaking & groaning of their tatty timber tabernacle after decades of neglect

Warms the cockles of my heart, it does. Would be richly deserved & not a tear shed anywhere (except at #lowlypompey where they will be getting their wellies on ready for their tour of the region's pub teams )

http://www.transfermarkt.co.uk shows him a shade under 25% - has he got better or worse since then

There are a lot of Sunday League pub carparks they haven't seen yet then

Happily, #lowlyportsmouth remain in bottom position according to Projected Points based on Recent Form http://stats.football365.co.uk/dom/ENG/D3/runin.html Team Projected Points on Recent Form 1 S****horpe United 99.5 2 Chesterfield 83.6 3 Burton 91.2 4 Rochdale 70.3 5 Fleetwood Town 76.2 6 Southend United 75.6 7 Oxford United 65.4 8 Newport 71.0 9 Morecambe 56.0 10 Plymouth Argyle 65.5 11 Cheltenham Town 64.5 12 Dagenham & Redbridge 50.0 13 Exeter City 53.0 14 AFC Wimbledon 45.7 15 Hartlepool United 47.8 16 York City 63.0 17 Wycombe Wanderers 45.6 18 Mansfield Town 49.0 19 Bristol Rovers 54.6 20 Bury 58.5 21 Portsmouth 43.8 22 Accrington Stanley 49.1 23 Torquay United 52.0 24 Northampton Town 45.1

#lowlyportsmouth

The non-league abyss gapes invitingly, no doubt the denizens of the deep are smacking their rubbery lips in anticipation of mouth-watering fixtures with the demoted fishy phew Karma

Fatpenny's fondness for pies is her downfall, I do hope nothing gives way as she bellyflops her way to further notoriety

The lucky nun done good

Perhaps the lucky nun will reignite Saints

Or a lucky nun?

The bestest can save money in these harsh economic times by attending fatpipes with shampoo already lathered into their hair. The plentiful rainwater leaks would leave them shower-fresh and fragrant

Kitson has just gone up in my estimation. Wonder what it would take to have him publicly spill ALL the beans

What a golden opportunity for the bestest to show their quality by ruthlessly caving in to promotion-chasing Oxford. Come on you Yellows

Fatpenny's bellyflop should be a stupendous spectacle, perhaps it would be even more spectacular if only it could be arranged for her to dive swathed in a Gobsh*te shirt into a child's inflatable paddling pool positioned on the hallowed fatpipes potato patch from the commanding height of their tatty timber roof. I'd pay good money to be so royally entertained

The allure of Pompey? The what? Oh yeah I get it - the smell of the fatpipes, the roar of the flames consuming their tatty timber tabernacle because the phew love their smoke bombs and they chose not to install sprinkler systems when they had the chance... Give me strength.

Yeah good luck with that RB

They need the TVs so that they can 'pack the park' with an army of disappointed skates who can't get tickets for away games due to their massive traveling support