Waterside.saint

It would be a truly momentous achievement - didn't one of their hero/villain/shysters promise the bestest that they would to be taken to a level they wouldn't believe karma

Well at least it won't be away at Fortess Fatpipes

Happily, they are now the worst team in the Football League on Recent Form http://stats.football365.co.uk/dom/ENG/D3/runin.html Team Recent Form 1 S****horpe United 99.0 2 Chesterfield 82.4 3 Burton 90.4 4 Southend United 80.6 5 Rochdale 68.6 6 Oxford 72.5 7 Fleetwood 65.6 8 Newport 76.1 9 Morecambe 60.0 10 Cheltenham 68.2 11 Plymouth 70.4 12 Dagenham & Redbridge 55.0 13 Exeter City 54.0 14 Wimbledon 48.6 15 Hartlepool United 57.4 16 Wycombe Wanderers 43.1 17 Mansfield Town 50.0 18 Bury 62.2 19 York 55.3 20 Portsmouth 41.4 21 Accrington Stanley 53.6 22 Bristol Rovers 48.3 23 Torquay 46.1 24 Northampton 46.2

Please God.

That in itself sounds like a nice theory... if only they played by the same rules that their competitors are bound by

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/24942307 You've got to wonder how affordable the premiums would be in view of the elevated risks - tatty timber construction + fatty fumes + neck-deep litter + smoke bombs = practically uninsurable

Stay 'massive', skates

OK own up, who's responsible for this: http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/leonard-strikes-late-to-break-pompey-hearts-1-5781001 The Amazing Pompey Memory Man 5:50 PM on 01/01/2014 Another great win for our heros. Reminds me of the time we beat AC Milan 27 - 0 and were knighted by the Queen. Can this exciting rollercoaster continue? You bet, we're playing Mars at home next week. I predict a drubbing for the red planet against our mighty warriors. PIP PIP.

Took the sting out of our losing to Chelsea's squad of multi-multi-millionaires. Fancy the Shrimpers scoring a last gasp winner Must've been heart breaking

Leonard you beauty

Hopefully their away game against high-flying Sarfend won't be cancelled and another nail will be hammered into their coffin. Come on you Shrimpers

Happy New Year nutjobs everywhere

Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is for them to get relegated again Cheers fella Signed waterside.saint 45 & 3/4s

Yay Perhaps this is what they mean when they say they've 'got history'

I think this an opportune moment to mention that this thread shows no sign of petering out, indeed its growth seems to have accelerated with their ongoing implosion contributing massively to the prospect of their car-crash being extended indefinitely, thus boosting general LOL'age and nutjob morale into the bargain. Who was it said they're 'the gift that keeps on giving' ? Roll on 2014!

Who've just sacked their manager... could be close. Come on you Cobblers

Happily, that last result places them in the relegation zone based on recent form: http://stats.football365.co.uk/dom/ENG/D3/runin.html Team Recent Form 1 Chesterfield 84.0 2 Oxford United 83.0 3 Newport 89.5 4 S****horpe United 79.5 5 Burton 77.5 6 Southend United 76.5 7 Rochdale 59.0 8 Fleetwood Town 63.2 9 Morecambe 60.8 10 Dagenham & Redbridge 60.0 11 Exeter City 44.0 12 Cheltenham Town 70.8 13 AFC Wimbledon 55.6 14 Wycombe Wanderers 47.0 15 Hartlepool United 54.5 16 Plymouth Argyle 68.5 17 Accrington Stanley 73.0 18 Bristol Rovers 59.5 19 Mansfield Town 24.5 20 Portsmouth 37.0 21 York City 48.5 22 Torquay 53.5 23 Bury 50.0 24 Northampton 45.5

Upside is they won't need to pay for poultry, they own the bestest 'turkey' in the whole wide world already

The phew are past masters at Orwellian Doublethink e.g. 'our chairman/goalie/defender/striker is the bestest hero/villain/prossie-botherer' the only constant is that something about their car-crash is 'bestest' & all thing they really care about is being 'special'. The collateral damage they do to small businesses & charities on the way to their next insolvency don't signify so long as they can keep kidding themselves they're still somehow 'special' in that all-too familiar pompey way ...

Nicely put

I'm happy to say that on recent form the skates are 3rd from bottom of the football league: http://stats.football365.co.uk/dom/ENG/D3/runin.html It seems they really could be relegated again. Just saying Team Recent Form 1 Oxford United 83.8 2 Chesterfield 77.6 3 Newport 89.5 4 S****horpe 78.2 5 Burton 86.0 6 Fleetwood Town 64.4 7 Southend United 74.6 8 Rochdale 64.2 9 Morecambe 62.0 10 Dagenham 71.6 11 Exeter City 47.2 12 Wimbledon 55.6 13 Hartlepool 59.8 14 Cheltenham 64.5 15 Wycombe 37.0 16 Plymouth 62.0 17 Mansfield 27.2 18 Portsmouth 40.2 19 Bury 53.8 20 York City 46.0 21 Accrington Stanley 72.0 22 Bristol Rovers 47.6 23 Northampton 46.6 24 Torquay United 44.0

Those parachute payments really do cover every conceivable contingency. It would be terrible if they were to ever run out Oh...

Have they given up on fixing that clock yet? What with the neglect and the fatty fumes it must have been a difficult if not impossible proposition to clean & repair

'ho-ho-ho' in this context of course implies that Avram had the stamina to serially bother three of Horton Heath's womenfolk on, as it were, the bounce.