Lighthouse

I think you may need to temper your expectations somewhat. He last played as a 73rd minute substitute in May.

Why would a lack of fitness make him a good option to play CB? We're stocked with plenty of better options at CB anyway, Rom will mostly play limited sub appearances as a DM when we need a calm head to see out games.

Clearly a team very low on confidence and cohesion but they dug deep and saw it out, so fair play to them for that. It's about as good as you can hope for with an interim manager in charge and should keep us within reach of the playoffs by the time the new bloke is appointed. My main worry is that Leo's injury will keep him out for a while. Why aren't we allowed to have nice things?

I never said either was better, but to pretend McCarthy has done nothing wrong this season is just plain weird.

Apart from an absolute howler against Liverpool, both goals against Blackburn and one against Bristol?

Get in boys!

What exactly were you expecting to happen when we sacked Still?

Not with a caretaker manager in charge, who usually plays the same way with the reserve team.

I wasn't really expecting a change in formation and I don't expect a change in result. Oh well, let's see how they get on.

People keep saying this and it never makes sense. We're going to have a massive uphill task recruiting for the PL whether it's next summer, the year after or in eight years time. If we don't go up this year, all that will happen is that better players like Leo will start wanting out when PL or foreign clubs start showing an interest. How's Sheff United's second season going?

What you’ve done there is make me agree with Delldays, now I need to go and clean myself with Brillo pads and boiling acid. Congratulations, I hope you’re happy.

We’re clearly one of the most attractive propositions in the league, in terms of wages we can offer and the squad we have to work with.

No, it was Yvette, you’re right, although I can’t say no to a woman in a beret and a trench coat. Anyway, I think we’ve solved the mystery of why young men are turning to the far right.

He’s a young lad who’s clearly having a stop-start beginning to his Everton career but that’s hardly surprising. Martin’s football clearly suited him a lot more than the more direct style of Juric and he lost his confidence considerably in the second half of the season. Whether he does eventually justify his price tag remains to be seen but I still think it was a decent move for him. Everton will just need to be patient, as Arsenal and Spurs were with Walcott, AOC and Bale.

Allo! Allo! Has tormented me since my adolescent years, trying to decide whether I prefer Helga or Michelle.