Lighthouse

Don’t worry, the Argies can just hold up a banner saying they won’t the WC, even though they clearly didn’t.

You just know the f**kers are going to win it with a jammy goal from their tw*ttiest player in the 94th minute, which will be their first shot on target.

You think he couldn't be arsed with PL promotion but he's fired up and ready to go for a friendly with Eastleigh? Archer is a confidence player who needs to play the right role in the right system and it clearly didn't happen for him last year. I think to write him off as lazy is, well, lazy.

Oh boy, this outfit is going to be ‘popular’ on D-wing.

Why the f**k would a #9 bowler try and pull that off!?

They’ve got a conga line heading back to the pavilion now, great comeback.

Three pretty poor fielding decisions but he’s been one of the better bowlers. The best I can say about Wood is that he won’t be around to give away 30 runs off the last over, like he did against Surrey.

Our January sales were necessary as we hadn’t managed to sell as many as we needed in summer. Their wages were high and we needed some cash coming in. The signings we’ve made this summer will be on the assumption that there are some fairly meaty sales coming, we haven’t broken even yet.

Well we’ve done that with a flake and extra sprinkles. Good start this.

Comfortable in the end, into another final. Obviously won’t be easy but I’m happy we’re not playing Somerset again.

It'll need a few new heads and a few new handles but I believe he's got the broom to do the job.

Not impossible that they'd both play, in the right conditions. We've played Daws and Crane in the same team many times in past campaigns.

No really, all we’ve done in recent campaigns is the same we’ve always done. Beat the fodder and a couple of reasonably competent teams, then come unstuck against the first properly decent team we play. We’re playing the same as we always have but in an era where Italy, Germany, Brazil and the NL are a bit sh*t.

Honestly, I’m on board for the actual pattern, it’s an away shirt; a lot of people say the home shirt is boring, so something a bit quirky is always fun. Two things put me off, assuming that is genuine. The plain bib looking back and the inevitable £65 price tag.

You say that like we’re doing them a favour, letting them play for us. If players get a chance to play at a higher level they will almost invariably want to go. It then becomes a question of negotiation between the player, the club and any potential suitors. We won’t be waiting for ‘stupid’ offers, we’ll be interested in acceptable offers. Football is a business.