Lighthouse

I'm not sure we have the same definition of that idiom, or what exactly I'm supposed to get a grip of (other than pearls, obviously). I'm not the least bit shocked or outraged that we got kicked out of the playoffs or that Tonda may get banned. Probably the most surprising thing for me in this whole saga was that we didn't sack Tonda.

As I’ve said before, if this exact same scenario had played out with Pompey ‘scouting’ one of our training sessions before beating us in the playoffs, I’m sure this forum would be unanimous in agreeing that it’s no big deal and wishing those chaps down the road all the very best of luck in the Premier League. No amount of friends feeling things are going to wash away the fact that we deliberately broke the rules to gain an advantage before a crucial playoff game, knowing full well it wasn’t acceptable after the Bielsa saga seven years ago.

We employed a level of subterfuge, albeit in a laughably bad manner, in order to gain inside information on their entire game plan and formations. It’s like playing blackjack, looking at everyone else’s cards and trying to claim you’re not cheating and the ‘benefit is marginal’.

I think you’ll find he did. Yep, that’s the general idea of having a rule. It was a deliberate ploy to cheat an opponent out of a game potentially worth £200m. I don’t think the ‘no big deal’ argument is going to wash with anybody who isn’t a Saints fan. Absolutely baseless hysteria. The FA have absolutely nothing to gain from punishing Tonda.

I think we got the message the last 41 times you mentioned Salech. He has never even been linked with us and I doubt Cardiff would sell him for anything we could afford. His main strengths as far as I could tell were playing pub football against part time welders. 4 goals in 40 appearances for us in all competitions.

What are your thoughts on Alex Jimenez and Alvaro Rodriguez?

It’s what every football club in the country does.

On what basis?

VectisSaint slapped Keith Chegwin with a haddock covered in marmalade.

F**k!!

You could say the same about our academy. Clearly the finances work out or we wouldn’t be doing it.

Clubs are clearly aware of that and have calculated that the sales lost to Chinese knockoffs don’t outweigh the profits from the higher prices they charge in the club shop. I haven’t bought a shirt full price for about 15 years now, I just wait for the end of season sales if I want one.

They’ll only charge what people are willing to pay. £45 is a ridiculous price for a tuna sandwich but if thousands of people were willing to pay it, I’d be out on Above Bar St. selling the buggers tomorrow morning.

Wednesday played in blue and white stripes when they came to SMS last season, it wont be an issue.

My personal cinematic highlight was going to see Jackass 3D about 15 years ago. The memory of a dildo the size of a nuclear submarine coming straight at me out of an IMAX screen will stay with me to the grave.