Pastor Patrón

This makes it all the more fortunate that I said "lots" rather then "all".

He's got skill, not in the same category as someone like Banega but the level level down I'd say. He's completely unsuited the the Premierships style of play though as lots of people said he was when we signed him. Same problem a lot of South Americans have over here.

He's useless at tracking back, appalling at set pieces, frequently gives the ball away needlessly and dives if anyone comes within 5 metres of him. He also makes Guly look enthusiastic.

So what's he actually good at other then costing lots?

Ramirez made Puncheon look good, that's how good Ramirez is.

Well I'm happy to pass judgement before we sign him and say it'd be a crap signing.

Pochettino has the teeth of a meth addict.

Your bad indeed SuperMikey. Your bad.....indeed.

Erm......no, that's not even his name. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyriakos_Papadopoulos

Amazed we haven't gone in for Papadopoulus, would cost 15mill but worth every penny.

A top centre back and a striker would be ideal, anything else a bonus, the youngsters can cover full back and we don't play wingers.

Inb4 it turns out to be Osvaldo and he turns us down again.

If I had to have a pot shot, I'd imagine it'd be a 20yr old scoring 17 goals in a season in the premiership.

I'd still gladly have Jordan Rhodes, a goalscorer's a goalscorer.

Who also has zero interest of coming here, Lukaku would. It's much easier to get a club to accept a bid then to force a player to come.

Brazil's number 9, Roma's best striker, or someone who played for West Brom last season and will have actually heard of us?

There's gotta be more chance of this happening then us signing Osvaldo or Damiao tbf.

Because he's been useless lately, same reason we managed to sign Lovren.

Might as well just sign Balotelli and be done with it really.

I'd agree, I'd say he was about on a par with Rodriguez over the course of the season, maybe slightly worse, but he's clearly being promoted as a figurehead at the club so there's zero chance he'll be dropped frequently. I can't see us realistically signing any traditional wingers personally, but Banega looks like he's more than capable of putting in a cross which has been one of our biggest problems in attack, along with set pieces.

I was referring to Adam Lallana's England call up, our current captain, in reference to us selling Dean Hammond, our previous captain. No I see Jay Rodriguez being on the bench and Ramirez, Lambert and Lallana playing behind a potential new striker.

I couldn't see Mr Hammond getting an England call up anytime soon however.

So we should drop our captain and top goalscorer? Seems legit.