StuRomseySaint

Yep, it is indeed a fun game, we also used to do it for Birthdays, but mainly for minor offences like falling asleep in lessons or saying the word 'contact' on the radio on operations.

That is a load of b*llocks. Bloody hell the papers would have a field day if they knew some of the things that happened when I was in. Space Invaders - On Lydd and Hythe Ranges, which are covered in stones, get the new recruit to stand about 15 metres away with his combat gear on, including helmet ( health and safety first ) , doing Space Invader motion up and down in a line, whilst the rest of the platoon throw stones at him. Run the Gauntlet - For more minor offences like falling asleep in lessons, platoon formed up either side of a corridor... the accused is made to run up the corridor as the platoon kick the fook out of him on the way through. Flamin arseholes - 2 new recruits, made to hang the same length of bog rolls from their arse, stand on a chair and the bog roll is lit, first person off their chair is given a kicking. Kangaroo Court - Punishment could be any of the above, including kidney punches slaps and rats tails lashings. There is just a few examples.

There has been some stupid new initiative where if an NCO shouts at a recruit he can be shown a Yellow card and the NCO has to not talk to him for the rest of the day and a Red card means he gets reported or some crap like that. What a load of sh!te.

It's b*llocks these days... NCO's are scared to give recruits a slap incase they are put up as 'bullies' ... I was a c*cky little sh!t when I was in phase one training ( I know, you don't believe me ) and took a kicking regulary. One of those things, never once moaned about it at the time and don't look back now and think it was out of order. That's how it should be, bayonet training day on Infantry training, woke up at 3 am and told to parade outside on a raining February morning... washed down with a fire hose and f*cked about and 'bullied' ( as the press put it ) all day... funny as f*ck day... but has been subject of an enquiry because some nobheads can't take the punishment and want a route out of the army.

Yep, Military Law runs seperate to Civilian Law... and so it should, to be the best force in the world, you need discipline. Some of the things either myself or people I have worked with have been charged with include... - Failing to attend a parade ( being 2 hours late ) - 4 days jail. - Having a bit of hair ( stubble ) in my razor on a room inspection ( 7 days restriction of privelidges - ie: confined to barracks and evening and weeked duties ) - Leaving locker unlocked - 1 day jail and a fine. - Refusing to soldier ( one lad saying he was too ill to work ) - Jailed for 10 days in custody, stripped of uniform, sentenced to 60 days in prison by the Commanding Officer. There's a few examples... you don't hear people that are in the Army moaning about it, only the people out the Army and foreign nationals that see our forces as a way of bypassing immigration.

LMFAO Now THAT is funny... an easy run through to the Semi-Final and he is all of a sudden is god. They obviously forget that P*mpey are rock bottom of the Premier League when if I am being honest, there are worse squads in that division.

Errrrr, well yes they are... blanket rules... it's called discipline. And 'parade' does not mean going on a march with a band... morning parade is a military term for the start of the working day. And as for Army - meh... if it wasn't for the Army you would be a German you nonce. Are you now saying we don't need an armed force?

Absolute f*cking b*llocks. I was charged with failing to attend parade and spent 4 days in jail because I was a few hours late... because my 1 week old son was having complications and I had stayed in Kent for the doctors appointment in the morning before heading back to Tidworth. I knew I was going to get punished and took it on the chin... rules are rules.

That's not a punishment either because they owed clubs money, it' only right they were made to pay them before buying others in.

What really wound me up was reading the Daily Mail this morning and one of AA's quotes... " P*rtsmouth have been punished enough " WHAT exactly has been their punishment? They have been docked 9 points of which has not effected their league position in the slightlest. Their Sky money held back to pay off football debts... hardly a punishment, more of an obligation. So what is this list of punishments imposed by the Premier League which P*mpey have recieved so far?

On South Today tonight. I nearly wet myself when I heard it.

LMFAO@Prince Boetang.... " We have shown that we should be a top 6 team " We beat Man United a few years ago, therefore I declare Southampton as one of the best teams in the world. You are bottom of the league for a reason you skate c*nt... because you are sh!t !!!

In that case, I haven't slept with Dan Kerins, but if I had, I would be off to the G.U.M clinic asap.

He forgot. I can confirm this thread is correct apart from one detail. Dan Kerins didn't have a great piece. :-(

I've slept with Dan Kerins.

I am a busy busy man, I only just got back to reading it, if only someone hadn't quoted it then I might have got away with it. This is hard to take, what a balls up... a good start if I want to be like Mr Illingsworth. :-)

Excellent. Call my secretary for a few quotes and a free signed picture of me.

What a stoooooooooooopid typo. :-( How embarrassing. :oops:

Are you then? Can you write an article about me please? I wasnt to be as famous as Mr Illingsworth.

Is that Ric as in 'The Rulebook'

Couple of questions... 1) Can you have a word with her about that bow in her hair? 2) Does she have any sisters? 3) Can I come to the wedding?

Who's the brunette? She has everything right, not wearing colours, drinking pints, quite attractive... ... then she goes and f*cks it up by wearing that stupid bow in her hair. Edit: It also looks like her head has been photoshopped on.

LMFAO You are one funny little c*nt. hahahahahahaha I was ******ed off yesterday when you got to the final, thinking about it now, I couldn't give a flying fook because it just keeps your hopes up before freefall.

FFS will you hurry up and lose Lee! I want to go to bed! Tiger Woods - Most erratic under par round ever?

I need 2. If not it's time to put on my best farmers accent.