Miltonaggro

Nice to have a tiger for a Chairman, rather than a daisy chain of paper tigers...

To the tune of Blue Moon: 'Exist, you soon won't f*cking exist' You did say nasty, Gem! We should also have a bucket collection for them before the game...

Apparently some of the catering staff drafted in on big matchdays are members of Opus Dei and the Bader Meinhoff gang...

As well as an 'award winning' radio station, I would like to see some improvement on the matchday catering to bring it up to 'award winning' standard, as both streams seem to have lost focus in the last couple of years...

Couldn't care less who we play at Wembley (should we get there), I would just love us to bring home a trophy in ML and AP's first season. Anyone who was at the ZDS final knows that on the day it's a proper cup final, Wembley is Wembley, and everyone will be fired up to win. Some company for the infamous samurai sword in the SFC trophy cabinet (sic) may well placate NC for a while...

NC made them an offer they couldn't refuse...

At 22 and 6ft 3" he should be a very good addition to the squad, and solid back up for Jaidi, Fonte or indeed Harding. Good shout Pards...

That and charisma or ability...

Wish NC would take over South West Trains! At least they would then run on time...

I've always found NC to be a combination of Princess Diana and Idi Amin, if the charm doesn't hook you the thinly veiled menace will! Great bloke...

Not enough! LMFAO...

Pure class...

This is all academic as the sale of PFC is a done deal; it's the worst kept secret at Ritzy's that Fred Dineage is fronting the 'survivors' consortium backed by the Krankies, Jimmy Saville and Gary Glitter. Portsmuff News has already christened the burgeoning consortium the 'Dream Team'...

I think Jon Holmes has got more chance of getting a game under Pardew than Lee Holmes! Good target man...

I think Cortese will be welding up the exit door come January. Don't worry, be happy...

Harding or Lambert...

I like the whip...

Remember Cortese's comments about seeing the replica sword in the trophy cabinet and asking 'where are the real trophies?...'. Let's face it, the JPT is hardly the European Cup, but it would be an appropriate start to world domination considering our current position! Plus, those of us who went to the ZDS final had a great day out with 35000 like-minded individuals despite the mickey mouse flavour. Think of the JPT as the silver plated stand of an enormous wedding cake...

It is a new dawn, a new day, but now and forever Lowe will always be our pantomine villain. In failing Southampton he slowly decimated and divided the archetype 'family club' - prior to his time we were quaint, but stable, solid and seen with affection by the neutrals in football. He was at the helm of Saints during the salad days of the Premier League, when a shaved monkey in a boiler suit with Enron emblazoned on the back could have raised finance. His biggest failing was that he could never move on from his opinion that football professionals and football fans were thick, and thus taking and making money from them would be a cakewalk! He was General Melchett to our Blackadder, or for some of us Captain Darling. We all went over the top in the end while he retreated 70 miles behind the lines...

Oldham 1 SFC 3...

Sullivan and Gold look and sound like a 1920s music hall act, Brady their muse! Too much rabbiting...

I've never liked Fern Brittain...

Could be worse, they were saying on Sky this morning that the new no-mark owner of Portsmuff (fake sheikh mark II) is completely unknown in business, let alone football. If he does a runner I have it on good authority that Claude Rains or David McCallum will take over, though in a burka instead of bandages (for continuity)...

Cortese did say that he wanted to win trophies rather than have 'gifts' in the cabinet at SMS. Given the mountain to climb (K2) to achieve promotion by the play offs this season this would be a good start...

Our thoughts are with the good doctor in his hour of need, apparently he has been suffering from the sh*ts for the last two months. I for one will never forget the look of puzzlement and sheer terror on his face when he was first being shown around the 'stadium' by Peter Story - pure Meridian gold! Heard the new consortium is fronted by a man called Ali Bongo! You couldn't make it up...