Patches O Houlihan

You're a young manager from a foreign league - people have heard of you but don't really know what you are about. You are ambitious and very aware of what people are saying about you and your team because your missus is very well connected. You have virtually the strongest squad in the league but all the experienced players are downtrodden and have had Russball beaten into them. Your new players are exiting, but raw and don't yet have the familiarity required to get the team charging. Every single competitive game since you started has seen at least one, usually two or three absolute clangers dropped by the players which means that any good stuff they have done is forgotten. [and the Pompey game couldn't have come at a worse time] The owners of the club have a poor reputation with the fans, and the club has been through 97 managers in the last 4 years. Also the fans have put a poll up one the principal forum calling for your head already. You don't want your young career to be fucked by Saints before it's started. I think I'd be having some sleepless nights and feel under pressure in front of the cameras too.

That'll do pig, that'll do

It must suck being you

That's why their winner wasn't offside too. If you read the small print you have to be 15m offside if Liverpool aren't winning and you ar into the last 10 mins at Anfield

We'll take that

Downs with the trampoline first touch

Liverpool scorer - knobjockey!!

Quashie again. Solid

Yes is positioning is spot on - oh wait...

We haven't had the hot spell yet...

He's got a pineapple on his head! - Are you fucking kidding me?!! Leaves a through ball that was nailed on for him

Downs still looking like a competition winner

Quarshie! - Get him in the league side

We did - he's playing for Newcastle &nbsp😉

For that to happen we'd need Scienza and Armstrong to have their brave trousers on. Suspect they'll be inside forwards closer to the wing backs than usual playing against Liverpool

Plus when we get humped we can share the scar tissue around a bit 😉

yep

It actually was when you look a bit harder and see how many really quality players were sold out from beneath him - akin to Ralph maintaining our level in those early years despite having no budget.

Are you seriously complaining about the signing of Rambo?!! You seriously would have split up his purchase fee amongst "2 or 4 goalscorers" who would have made more of a difference - in a league where the average proper goalscorer now costs £25-40m. Really? You'd have played Baz or McCarthy and hoped your new £5-10m '2 or 4 goalscorers' would have pumped them in for fun. Or are you buying a £5m goalkeeper out of that "£27m" as well? See earlier comment about football fans in the modern era wanting the 'moon on a stick' and anything less shocks them to the core. Real life is hard. Professional competition is very hard: At the top level everyone is paying attention, and spending a fortune to leave no stone unturned.

I hear the club have a contact who can organise industrial size tubs of Nivea if that's any good to you?

Maybe he watches a lot of rugby - they like ‘finishers’ When we were in the Prem we used to complain that 5 subs meant we’d play the end of the game against top teams with 5 fresh superb players. Our bench was ridiculous for this game. Maybe that is the thought? Maybe Scienza knows he’ll get 25 mins. Maybe Fellows is told to gauge his efforts for 70 mins max?

Who are you lumping it up to instead? Is Arma the most likely to pull a miraculous Shane Long? Will we walk out to the Titanic music?

We now know why Lallana has stayed - Free industrial tub of Nivea to every travelling Saints fan when we get rooted

Edwards normally plays on the right so it is 'England centre back & debut scorer + Roy Keane's Son in Law' who has his natural spot. After the shambles today give Edwards a bash

We passed it sideways or backwards 420 times today. (69%) 🤦‍♂️