Stripey McStripe Shirt

It must feel so shit to be a "host nation" having to play in a neighbouring country that most of you despise.

Ding dong! Who's there? Jordan Henderson. Jordan Henderson who? The boring old bloke with nothing left to offer England.

10 mins away from consecutive clean sheets. Solid.

I miss Southgate.

What's this weird Viking rowing thing the Norwegian fans have started doing. Its up there with "mauled by the tigers" for naffness.

Norway making a mockery of the naff group stage format, making 10 changes v France. France take the lead after 6 mins. Could quite easily be 4-0 already.

Kind of bad for you that you're based in Southend though.

Looking forward to the pride match tonight. Should be a cracker.

Calling @trousers (Yes, I know the alarm says 6:00, rather than 6:30)

Spygate was stupid from us. But classless from many, many others.

The news when it reports a death toll that is obviously going to rise. For example, 32 deaths currently in Venezuela, but expected to potentially rise above 100,000 😥 What is the point in reporting the current number when it's so clearly meaningless?

I thought it was called a reality check.

Grealish and Cam Archer?

Sounds like you're watching England.

A finish Damien Downs would be proud of from Kane.

Needs matching American Football helmet.

Just realised the ref has his name on the back of his shirt. Wonder if we'll be able to buy them in the Megastore for next season. Always wanted a Stuart Atwell replica.

Thomas (Tuchel) (Anthony) Gordon (Reece) James Henry (Kane) It's like a shit Thomas the Tank Engine reunion.

Forgot Thomas Tuchel. This team looks like it's been managed by Thomas Too-slow*. *Best football joke since my Kylian MMMBopé joke earlier in the thread.

Emma Hayes needs a shave.

What happens if a team keeps possession of the ball for the next 25 minutes?

Why would Haaland care whether you're English or Norwegian?

Yet, nobody liked this despite it being a fantastic joke.