Fowllyd

We'd look like either a team of oversized jockeys or shockingly unfit King of the Mountains winners. On the other hand, it would be unique...

That's just where you're wrong. They were looking for an "impact manager" as that's what they need right now. And it clearly stands to reason that a chap who's been at the club as long as anyone can remember, and who took the reins with a planet-juddering impact for two whole games earlier this season, must be that man.

Were I of a more churlish disposition, I might suggest an alternative surname for Richard (or should that be richard - the man himself seems happy with it?). But I'm nobody's churl, so I shan't. Or perhaps his surname is simply C (or maybe c). Should we then re-imagine him in this image? [video=youtube;MCWlGH-MeMU] I think it could work. Richard C - No Muppets.

Has anyone posted this link yet? http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/pompey-failed-in-warnock-bid-to-become-barker-successor-1-5965714?WT.mc_id=Outbrain_text&obref=obinsite Sometimes I just don't know whether to laugh or cringe...

That, Duncan, is a thing of rare beauty.

Pap, you could do with a read of this, taken from David Hume's thoughts on miracles: "A miracle is a violation of the laws of nature; and as a firm and unalterable experience has established these laws, the proof against a miracle, from the very nature of the fact, is as entire as any argument from experience can possibly be imagined. Why is it more than probable, that all men must die; that lead cannot, of itself, remain suspended in the air; that fire consumes wood, and is extinguished by water; unless it be, that these events are found agreeable to the laws of nature, and there is required a violation of these laws, or in other words, a miracle to prevent them? Nothing is esteemed a miracle, if it ever happen in the common course of nature. It is no miracle that a man, seemingly in good health, should die on a sudden: because such a kind of death, though more unusual than any other, has yet been frequently observed to happen. But it is a miracle, that a dead man should come to life; because that has never been observed in any age or country. There must, therefore, be a uniform experience against every miraculous event, otherwise the event would not merit that appellation.... The plain consequence is (and it is a general maxim worthy of our attention), 'That no testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the testimony be of such a kind, that its falsehood would be more miraculous, than the fact, which it endeavours to establish....' When anyone tells me, that he saw a dead man restored to life, I immediately consider with myself, whether it be more probable, that this person should either deceive or be deceived, or that the fact, which he relates, should really have happened. I weigh the one miracle against the other; and according to the superiority, which I discover, I pronounce my decision, and always reject the greater miracle. If the falsehood of his testimony would be more miraculous, than the event which he relates; then, and not till then, can he pretend to command my belief or opinion. In the foregoing reasoning we have supposed, that the testimony, upon which a miracle is founded, may possibly amount to an entire proof, and that the falsehood of that testimony would be a real prodigy: But it is easy to shew, that we have been a great deal too liberal in our concession, and that there never was a miraculous event established on so full an evidence." Now, do you think that it would be more miraculous that the plane was spirited away, with no evidence left other than rather uncertain eye-witness accounts, and for reasons which remain unknown and unfathomable, or that it was something considerably more mundane, such as malfunction or accident? It seems to me that you're always looking for, and are more likely to believe, a sequence of events which most would actually find harder to believe.

Personally, I'm with Joe Tex when it comes to Porky Penny...

Had to have the last cat I owned put down a few years ago - she was over 18 years old and I cried like a baby (I was 49 at the time). We have a cocker spaniel who'll be two in June - if anything happened to him I'd be in bits. As others have said above, it's a grieving process. Sorry to hear about it Gemmel; you'll need time to get over it but you will do. Having the other two dogs will help, though they'll miss him as well I'm sure.

There has to be a joke about Winalot in there somewhere...

And why, for the love of god (or why oh why if you prefer a Points of View idiom) did Mr and Mrs O'Prussian-Waugh name their son Francis?

I think he'd probably be more concerned with the use of 'like' rather than 'as if' (after he'd corrected the bits your Bletchness has already done, of course). 'Actually' has a certain quality, especially to those of us who remember Spike Milligan's interpretation of Beachcomber from the 70s (or maybe the 60s - I was pretty young when it was on TV, but obviously not so young that I haven't remembered it). If Vectis Saint ever ventures on here I'm sure he'll recall it.

How many parts of Southampton is Barry planning on visiting? We know that he wishes no part of Nursling, but it seems that Swaythling, Rownhams, Bitterne, Redbridge and of course the centre are all down to be honoured with his presence. That's quite some pub crawl...

Slight problem here. Only pap knows what you look like, so unless he's in the vicinity you'll just have to depend on the kindness of strangers.

Blimey! I bet the poor bastard can hardly walk.

A quote, a screenshot, an emoticon - Trousers is a man of few words on that thread (well, few of his own, anyway). And Ozymandias applies rather splendidly to Pompey: "Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare, The lone and level sands stretch far away"

When new mods are inducted into their clandestine brotherhood, they are given three strict instructions - never interrupt Steve Grant, never pass the port to the right, and if in doubt, flush at least one of Bearsy's threads to TMS. The results are there for all to see.

That can only be the thread of threads, the mighty Pompey Takeover Saga, home to all self-respecting nutjobs for the past five years.

Apparently they have one for Sussex as well.

I grew up in Bishopstoke, went to Reading university and stayed there for a few years, lived in London for 18 years, then Newcastle for another four. When I had no reason to stay in the north-east I moved back down and lived in Woolston for a few years. I still have some family and friends in the area, and my parents (now in their mid-eighties) still live in the house they moved to in 1960. I've been living in Horndean for the past couple of years, as my wife's lived here for several years and it made sense (her daughters go to school in Waterlooville). Don't think I'd want to live in Southampton now, but I'd move to Winchester like a shot. Probably couldn't afford more than a shed there though...

Cheap plastic pen too.

This reminds me of that motivational adage - "Fail again. Fail better." I think we can safely say that every Pompey failure has been better than the previous one...

Be of more interest in Lincolnshire I'd have thought - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-26456029. Oh, and the dog on the left in the last photo bears a striking resemblance to Robbie Williams...