USaintA

Oh, wow. Poor Leicester. Their fans are not happy based on some of the things I've been reading today. I have family who were born in Leicester on my mum's side so I really feel for them right now... Ah, who am I kidding! Aunt Jeremy and Uncle Megan, if you're reading this, you're going down again you bunch of wankers!

Imagine if Downsy (old Double D himself) comes back here, has a great pre season, regains his confidence and starts banging in the goals for fun.... Hey, we signed Peretz. Anything can happen, right? Right???

If we really are going to sign Peretz on a permanent basis, I will fly over to wherever he lives, pick him up, drive him to the airport, fly over with him in the plane, and then drive him to Southampton myself. Then I'll fly back here to the US and bring Gavin Bazunu with me. Our local girl's elementary school needs a new keeper, and he'd probably do alright for their under 9's to be fair.

Thank you. That has made my day.

If Tonda does indeed make it to next season and isn't banned, or hung drawn and quartered as some would have it, I would like to see him fully embrace the villain persona. I suggest he goes "Full Pleasance Blofeld" and adopts a shaved head and drawn on facial scar. At press conferences he should sit in a big leather chair with a cat on his lap, and have a secret trap door for any smart mouth journalist to be fed to flounders from the Itchen River. "Ah, Mr. Blackmore, I've been expecting you...."

That's nice. If you do get the opportunity to meet with Drag, could you ask him from me what does he use to brush his Hampsteads? Which toothpaste? And, electric, or regular style toothbrush? Also, if there's time (as you've only got 20 precious minutes with the geezer), any chance you could ask him where he purchased his syrup?

I've been out of the country since 2019 and I lately try and avoid politics now as much as I can. Has it really gotten this bad that Rupert fucking Lowe is being heralded by some as Prime Minister material?

When was the last time you can remember genuinely expecting England to win the World Cup? My first World Cup I can remember was Mexico 86. Thought we'd win that. Then Italia 90. I thought we'd win that one. The dream died with the penalty shootout defeat to Germany, and I don't think I've thought England could win it ever since.

He cheats, he spies, he keeps his interns in disguise... Er, anyway, no. Keep him and invest in much better surveillance equipment.

How about something like this.... He cheats, he spies, he tells a load of lies, Tonda Ton....da Tonda Ton...da! He cheats, he spies, he's got some crazy eyes, Tonda Ton...da Tonda Ton...da! He cheats, he spies, and Middlesbrough despise, etc etc

I would like to see Gibbon's face as Tonda leads the lads to a 5-0 victory at the Riverside next season. It would also be nice to see how their crying manager reacts to the Tonda smile and offer of a handshake. I think Tonda should offer their crying manager his hand to shake, and then when the geezer goes to shake it, Tonda should quickly move his hand away and blow a raspberry at him. They would bloody love that would the Middlesborough supporters and Gibbon. Love it.

I voted no because I quite like the ruthless bastard approach, and keeping him would really annoy a lot of people.

Yes, it's true. And his son's name is Mel.

The only fair and logical thing to do under these extreme circumstances is to make null and void every single Saints FC result from the day Sport Republic took over until now. By my reckoning that would then put us 14th in the Premier League with Ralph Hasenhüttl back in charge as our manager. It's harsh, but I would be okay with it.

Haven't we been punished enough, damn it!

Carlos Kaiser would be my pick. Notorious con artist, he's perfect for Sports Republic.

Will Salt has today released a statement on his Myspace. “Dear all, This has, as you can guess, been a very unsavoury situation for me and my family. Us Salts are feeling pretty shaken up about it all and I personally feel as if I’ve been put through the grinder. I am hoping the EFlL sea sense and that this doesn’t negatively impact our season…Ings was a good player wasn’t he?”

I think I need new glasses. Instead of "spygate" I've been reading the title of this thread as, "Southgate". I thought this was over 110 pages of Saints fans discussing Gareth Southgate as our new manager. Phew! What a relief!

"If" we are found guilty, I believe we should offer Middlesborough the following. apology.. "Dear, Middlesborough, We're very very sorry for what we've done and we'd like to make it up to you. Please accept this £12 million pound Irish international goalkeeper as a token of our goodwill, and this Danish keynote speaker who is brilliant at breaking things. As an extra gesture, we'd like to highly recommend our former manager Russell Martin to you as a future replacement for your current manager who has obviously been deeply and emotionally affected by this whole sorry saga and who no doubt will be unable to continue in football management as a result of our heinous actions. Yours with love, Southampton FC."

Will Salt's mother, Veruca Salt, has today released a statement on behalf of the family... "This job was our son's golden ticket to the big time. It's nuts that his dream could be cruelly snatched away from him in such a fashion. We feel like our family's reputation is being dragged down the proverbial garbage chute. We want answers! We don't care how, we want them now! Also, does anyone know where I can get an Oompa Loompa?"

"Salt also used his cash card to buy a pair of toy binoculars, a fake moustache/glasses combo, and a Kodak instant camera."

Reminds me of wrestling legend Ricky Morton from the Rock n Roll Express...

I heard through a trusted and well respected club source that we would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids, and their dog.

I'm getting the word.... "nonce".

And who could ever forget his memorable international debut against Luxembourg where he heroically kept the score down to only a 1-0 defeat against the might of the Red Lions. A reporter at the time commented that Bazunu, " looked good with the ball at his feet."