USaintA

Stoke, if you're reading this, forget the loan. Sign this geezer up on a permanent deal immediately. You won't regret it. He makes Peter Shilton look like Rita Stilton, and Gordon Banks look like Shabba Ranks. Trust us, Stoke. For God's sake trust us!

I don't know about anyone else, but I am starting to get the feeling that appointing this geezer might not've been such a good idea.

Great job, lads. Wiped the floor with them.

Is Jesus available? Even he couldn't save us from this.

There's this tall Nigerian geezer currently playing in the top Turkish league. Name escapes me. Think he's scored something like 11 goals in 16 games. Might be worth a shout.

Interesting to note that the head of Hamburg's scouting department is named Sefan "Stevie" Wunder.

Known as, "Jennifer" in the dressing room, apparently.

I heard that Bazunu is in the team because of the way he slices and serves a really good half time orange. Allegedly, according to reports, Bazunu's weak wrists and inability to tightly grip and hold a knife enable the orange slices to retain their natural juices. This results in a far juicer and tastier orange slice, which Tonda and the lads really appreciate.

"He rose like an anorexic Warwick Davies," is my most favourite description of Gavin Bazunu I've seen on here. Although that is really doing a great disservice to the star of Willow to be fair.

I moved over here a few years ago and had hoped to go to see a World Cup game in 2026. Well, fuck that!

Cos maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you're my Tonda Wall. We hate Pompey, we hate Pompey.

If we're talking about the kind of parties where everyone stands around making inaccurate lists using ChatGPT then no, I don't think I would be much fun at one of those, you're right.

Odd list considering that at least 2 people on it have indeed been sacked.

I woke up this morning thinking Saints won a game of football by a 5-1 scoreline yesterday. Did this really happen, or was it all just a dream?

I have it on very good authority that TV's Morph is going to get the gig. He'll be clay-er manager apparently. His good communication skills swung it for him over the other candidates. I'm leaving now.

Have we sacked him yet?

No, I wear them when I play. She's got gigantic feet.

This guy stinks worse than my wife's socks after a game of volleyball.

James Bree has been pretty good, does he count?

Nope.

He must be feeling pretty pleased with himself at the moment.

I think Sports Republic want us to go down again so that we can finally win that all elusive League 1 championship we've never managed to win before.

Okay, I take it all back. You were right. I am eating my smiley face emoticon.

Bugger! He was the highlight of my weekends!

Call me crazy, but I'm beginning to think you're not a fan of our new manager, benjii.