hamster

I work with a woman who can't pronounce her F's and Th's. Had elocution lessons, hypnotherapy and countless other procedures, the doctors have tried everything to help her. She can't say fairer than that.

I don't think your stereotypical Chinese person would substitute their L's with W's though. You are getting confused with her R's I think my fwend

Alpine

dp whatever her name was, she was lovely, dainty and flirtatious in a vulnerable kind of way.

Count yourself lucky one of them didn't snake you.

Never mind how tall he is, bottling someone is does not one 'hard' it is cowardly as is kicking someone in the head when they are on the floor. Where I grew up being 'hard' means that in a one to one fight, with no weapons, one could beat more people up than could beat you up. Furthermore, if one had the skill and dexterity to be able kick someone in the head when both are standing then that was deemed 'acceptable'; although a very clever manoeuvre it is also very ring as it leaves one open to having it grabbed thus rendering one extremely vulnerable to a kick in the dusters, a grab and twist even. I am not and never have been considered 'hard'. But I learnt Judo. I found it most useful as a short-arse (a midget if you like) in fending off bullies. I could not punch my way out of a damp paper bag But I am sure that armed with a bottle I would have won more fights at school, it would not have made me hard it would have got me a Proper beating from the real hard lads, that is how people using weapons were dealt with at my school. NB The school I went to was very very hard, harder than any school most people on here went to. FACT

I met one at soton airport when I worked there. She was one of those permaorange perfume reps. Really lovely and told me that the 'scene' back then was Really hedonistic and the amount of celebs, politicians and royalty she partied with was unreal. I know that 'scene' has been well documented and reported on but sitting in the staff canteen hearing it from a woman who my dad was mesmerised by was interesting. Memory not brilliant but iirc her name was Jo Or Jan, one of you dirty old pervs might be able to help with that bit?

Wonder if Don Cortese will hire some henchmen to do exactly that if they haven't paid to use them? What a liberty. Oops, my mistake, that's Swansea isn't it.

Your problems will ease once that fire engine can't past yer car and the old girl at number 23 gets fried. The council will be forced to act. Were you aware dune that parking on scholll zig-zag lines is not illegal? They are classed as 'advisory'

No but W******d is Also, due to increasing the takings on the door perhaps chucking a fiver of it to being a full member might be a nice gesture. Kids today they all want something for nothing, I ask ya!

If true then it's a good thing to come out of this so-called recession. I think many many more people need to find work nearer to their homes. Either that or people need to move home to be closer to their workplace, another plus IMO.

Join the navy. I've heard that they are clearing out their dead wood. Good luck though and if you end up having to move on I'm sure you'll look back in years to come and say ffft.

Has Rudolph signed yet?

8 legs of venison £100 at my local butchers, is that too dear?

..a little dear (sp) for me though

Good point. In fact Antony Pulis is worth more than the whole academy put together...on paper at least.

I knew from an early age that my nipper was never gonna be as good as me and hammered the message home at every opportunity. Took a while to convince him but it never did him any harm in the long run.

Mikey, you can boo your own team but tis a mortal sin to cheer the opposition mate.

(big) boned

Guinness

I once took training for Bitterne Rangers lads team. I'm only little and most of the little ****ers were big lads. I went in goal and got mullered then they wanted to Practice corners, first ball comes over and wallop big Ginger ****er breaks my nose with his big Ginger ****er's Ginger head.

A prepay prescription card. Assuming she's now got to pay full whack for her epilim.

Peecan

Buy in haste repent at leisure. Mrs h is always buying **** in haste, thank **** for primark, I don't need to work overtime since they opened in above bar

A couple of boy scouts knocked my door last night, they were collecting for a new swimming pool. I gave them a bucket of water.