hamster

Ours obviously. Nice stadium btw. Recommend it to newbie Saints fans. Im going to visit Old Trafford tomoz. Check out my blog.

Been announcing our arrival. Citeh fans in low profile. Met a few and cruised past their new stadium today. But not that excited. Plastic fans IMO. Told them all that that title will be pus soon.

Manchester city centre.arrived 2 day.

I connected with an Old school school chum via friends reunited. Com. First thing he said to me was that he was in the force. Second message was that he out to get me! Never accepted the ' friend' invite. And to think...I once got a bloodied nose for him. Usual playground scrap excePt this arsehole had a half brick in his hand! I 'intervened'. Used to go through a pair of glasses a month fighting, no wrd of a lie.

Coo buddy.

Do bears have penises?

The leader (of our gang)?

Why don't you..................................... Starred a very young Pauline Quirke.

Pretty sure we haven't got. Spare fridge freezer it I'll che k when we go through the boxes.

Round a couple of bends and woaahhh. We're turning left onto the Macclesfield Canal. This is gonna be. A lovely day. Hard work from everyone and we take sharp right then another sharp right and.... Breathe. That's the toughest manoeuvre you'll have to make on this journey. Just approach it slowly and no wine will be spilt. On the subject of drinks. "Girls"

After about 2 miles (1/2 hour) you'll come to the Harecastle Tunnel. There's a 1 in 1 out rule here, manged by BW staff. They explain everything and will answer any questions you have. I'd advise only 1 person on the stern in a tunnel and 1 person holding a torch (turned off) at the helmsmans feet. No cooking and expect a few bumps. Absolutely no rush. Wear a warm jacket or pully and a brimmed hat. Come out the other end after half an hour (feels like forever) into to glorious shadowy tree lined cutting. Let your eyes adjust and were off again. Anyone for a cuppa?

No beer whilst your moving. Applies to helmsman, captain and map reader. You three will have your flaggon of ale this evening. First you must let this boat know who's boss. Bots are female, remember that guys. I will say no more on the subject apart from, if you have women onboard now would be a sensible time to tell them what time you want your lunchtime sandwich and what time to have dinner ready. Oh and while we're at it, where's that cuppa?

Day 2 started like this: Woke up slowly at half seven. Made a cuppa for me and mrs hamster. Went back to bed. Woken at 10 by mrs hamster carrying a sausage sandwich and another cuppa. Does life get any better than this? Checked the boat over. Kettle on. Everyone been to the toilet. Do you know the Boatmans Knot? Only one you'll need, learn it now , a very easy and omni use knot. Untie ropes Push the front end (bow) out gently step on the back (stern) and we are away. Wheres that tea for the Helmsman?

As you can tell, I am the Captain on this Narrowboat. My crew are sleeping; they have fed and watered me and have kept me entertained. Reward your crew. You do not want a mutiny. And keep the rum rations flowing as a drunken sailor is a happy sailor. Ask Pompey fans, they is not very happy sailors at the moment though. Poor things. By the way, any Pompey fans reading this. You can follow this guide if you get Man Utr in a cup. I wish you and your club the best of luck in the future.

This is the recommended moorings. CCTV. Best to unload car here then move car to secure car park. Black Prince Yard directly opposite pub. Park for free and enjoy worry free boating on a decent maintained boat. Recommended company. http://www.tobycarvery.co.uk/festivalparkstokeontrent/ Get all your weeks supplies at the local shops. There a an excellent canal side butchers just 1/2mile away and get those cameras ready. Make sure the batteries are charged. Note: later in our journey we go crocodile hunting. I **** you not. Anyway, enjoy a good nights kip and don't set the alarm. Lazy cruise tomorrow, a chance to get used to your boat and get used to living in a giant steel pencil case. Dont rush and most importantly DO NOT TAKE ANY RISKS. Appoint a captain. Seriously, someone needs to in charge. Have a laugh deciding, don't argue as this is a serious decision. Nominate a map reader, this is not a job for a woman. The captain is not necessarily the helmsman. A new helmsman should never be left on their own.

I am this week blogging my narrowboaters guide to attending the away supporters guide to watching your team play At Old Trafford. This is based on a journey plan starting 7 days before a match. And is applicable to any other teams visit. For the purposes of clarification I am a Saints supporter and this a genuine guide. We started our journey on Saturday - - Day 1 Picked up Morpheus aim the Trent and Mersey. Heart of The Potteries. Busy little.city. Not seen any Stoke shirts. People Very nice. May stay here again for our game at The Britannia. Dont laugh but a genuinely good Toby Carvey. If you've got kids or simply want a few jars of real ale and sod the washing up. Best view from a smoking area ever. Great if you also want to walk your dogs. Just nice for a romantic evening hand in hand stroll. Very photogenic for you photographers out there. Bursting with history.

We've got loads of 'doubles'. Live in Kent though. Visit soton regularly so just say and I'll see if I've got it. Got a spare potato peeler you can have. And a really robust corkscrew, it's a designer one, worth a few bob.

Do not buy a car at auction. Seriously they are all **** cars. Wouldn't be there if they were any good. Only decent car I've ever bought at auction was a 4 door A35. Babe magnet.

Horseguards Parade if I'm not mistaken. My dads played there and the old Wembley and The Dell. Love my Dad.

**** Street. That's t w a t or tawt backwards. Saw it today.

Hearst, I scored today...twice mate.

2 just last weekend. Do travellers count as a nationality?

Can you tell of someone has more than one account yet? ;-)

1 banana 2 banana 3 banana 4.....

BUYER BWARE. That's all you need to know: sawdust in gearboxes, eggs in rads ....