adrian lord

Taking Adam off was a big mistake we really died after that

Shocking when you consider we got such a lethal bunch of strikers from the Premier League

It's all so laboured

I can almost begin to sympathise with Cristiano Ronaldo after watching this

This is getting ridiculous I can see us losing by sucker punch

We are running out of puff and running out of ideas

Henderson overhitting everything all night

Clyne has been magnificent We aren't playing with a striker Sturridge is in the hole

Crouch's teeth seem to go in opposite directions to his head

Were doing well but curiously it's almost as if we don't have a striker

Bertrand won't see the light of day in England shirt again it if he's not careful

To be honest Lallana is having a good game

Adam is looking more manly with his bigger beard

Joan of Arc? OK, a woman, but French.

We are clearly waiting on this situation then. Emery would be the coup of the century, slim chance though.

Ermenegildo Zegna? HCDAJFU.

Awful passionless group stage so far. Let's hope it comes to life in the knockout.

Hahaha

Henri wearing an excellent leather jacket. Not keen on Rio's shirt at all...

I don't relish some of the French no-marks that seem to be in contention, so maybe Manuel is our man.

I think the shortlist should include ORAC - managed the Blake's 7 team on the Liberator to victories against the Empire squads and got the better of arch rival Servalan. Patronising tone might cause dressing room unrest. HAL - a veteran of the 2001 Space Oddity team, Discovery One. Never relegated. Does tend to sleep for hundreds of years, which could lead to difficulties.

Pellegrini would p11s off Everton's fans...

It is Merseyside - they will soon swap that clobber for shell suits.

He's got no charisma and no chance.

but they'd all get lost down the back of the seats...