Rut

Chances of getting nicked down Derby Road Chances of taking a surf board to Weston Beach Chances of being sold a penthouse suite in Albion Towers Chances of getting caught in bed with Katharina Liebherr Chances of getting a round in at the Saints Pub, Millbrook

Great list. There's some good ones in there that I've not heard before: "That's exactly how you head a ball... you use your head" - RAY WILKINS But yeah - they ain't annoying and if you have to speak tons on live TV then once in a while you don't quite say what you mean. Iain Dowie is on Sky now ain't he? Shame cos he was a quality co-commentator. He'd try and speak as fast as he was thinking which often ended up in total gibberish. Very, very listenable trying to decipher what the hell he was going on about though and far from annoying. It was good. Worth co-commentator? David Pleat. Just STFU for 2 seconds you annoying twt. Ain't had to suffer him lately. Hopefully never again.

This x100. The 'twit' was on NBC 3 times last weekend because the normal NBC commentator (Arlo White who is fine) was doing the olympics. Drury does the worldwide feeds - usually for UK TV games. Often a country will override the worldwide feed commentator with their own. Not last weekend. Included having him on the Man Utd v Saints game. Worst commentary I have ever heard. Tongue so far up Man Utd it was embarrassing. Co-commentator reminded him that Saints only finished 3 points behind Man Utd last year and won 1-0 at Old Trafford. That didn't matter it was all about 'can "utd" (puke) bring back the glory days under "the special one" (double puke)' etc etc TIP: If you have a surround system with adjustable speaker levels then turn down the centre and front speakers. This is where the commentary comes from. You'll still get the sound of the crowd from your rear (and side for 7.1) speakers. This assumes the program is being broadcast in 5.1. They usually are nowadays. I didn't do this for Drury for the Man Utd v Saints game as I wanted to hear what he would say about Saints. Mistake. He said nothing.

Any ex-pat will answer the same. Just stay in the f***** top flight. World wide TV coverage of the Prem is excellent. Below that - it is sketchy. Ask any Newcastle or Villa fan what they thought would be acceptable last year. I bet they assumed 'higher than Leicester' as a gimme. Sure some teams are better than others but as was proved last season - anyone can win it & anyone can go down. Acceptable = staying up. That'll do for starters...

1 - Saints ..... 20 - Liverpool

As expected - USA lost to Argentina. As expected - Klinsmann quickly becomes fav to be the new Saints manager. There may be a few more twists and turns to come yet though. It's been a crazy few days for all involved with a lot going on behind the scenes. That said it is VERY likely to be Klinsmann.

The USA getting to the semi-final of Copa America didn't help things go as quickly as expected... They play a fully loaded Argentina side tonight. Copa America = The Euros. 2nd biggest tournament for every team involved. Messi et al don't have 'groin strains' for this one. Expect a few sightings of Jurgen Klinsmann in the next day or so. Unless USA somehow manage to win of course...

Jurgen Klinsmann @ 33/1 is an interesting one. If USA lose to Ecuador in the quarter final of Copa America on Thurs then his time as USA manager could be over. He likes to develop players. Could be a good fit for Saints.

Nice one. That worked a treat. Not sure I really needed a Bluetooth speaker and DJ style headphones with a SFC badge on them but for $32.97 inc. postage I guess you can't go wrong. LV - what did you order? One of everything? Can we now get a 70% code for shirts, polos & DVDs please. Obviously with free shipping as well. Thanks.

... and then sometimes this finished article gets the big pay day and doesn't adjust well to his new team. ie flops. Plus sometimes a new, unknown player has the advantage that the opposition don't have much video on them - they are an unknown quantity with a hunger to prove how good they are. All pros 'n' cons. Whatever - I trust the powers that be at SFC at the moment.

No he won't. He'll go to the club that offers him the most money. Just like they all do. Any player leaving Leicester or going to Liverpool this summer will have to change the script a bit. Can't say anything about the Champions League in their statement. Oh no. If Mane goes then so what? As long as the money made on the transfer is put back into the team then it's business as usual. Another good, foreign bloke that we haven't heard of will take his place. Hasn't done us any harm in the last couple of seasons.

Yeah people blindly saying 'Man Utd will obviously beat Bournemouth' do my head in. Yes - Man Utd are favs but if they are so nailed then how much are you lumping on at 4/11? Surely everything you own? Sure - gun to my head - I'd choose Man Utd but I'd be bricking it. Never mind Leicester winning the league. West Ham 1 Swansea 4 last Sat was a bookie buster. West Ham were 'certain' to win that one. Plus (dare I say it) we still have to beat Palace. Assume nothing! Anyway - never mind all that. Come on Chelsea tonight. That's step 1.

I watched that game. Watford had every chance to get at least a draw. Lpool were poor but Watford couldn't take their opportunities. Ho hum. Pretty simple now though. West Ham don't beat Man Utd Lpool don't beat Chelsea Saints beat Palace (depending on how West Ham do we may need to do better than they do at Stoke) 6th place. Thank you very much. All without the aid of having to cheer on Man Utd or Lpool in their cup finals. Other scenarios? See what happens come kick off (or end of game) on Sunday. Some boffin will have it all nailed by then.

Now you've (easily) done a half - what would say to someone who asked a similar question?

Similar to this. I always the record the games 'just in case'. Most get deleted soon after but not this one. Was great watching the half time highlights (and general LFC asslicking) and then the 2nd half again knowing that it had a happy ending. The penalty miss at the time was a killer. Strangely it was way more enjoyable the second time of watching...

You thought you had scored - you were wrong. If Tadic 'only did one thing' then what a thing. Best non-goal ever. (watched it again a few times and you only see Tadic start his run/protest towards the linesman for a split second - TV quickly cuts to these happy folks)

I want Leicester to win every game between now and the end of the season - apart from the game v us. I hope they win the league and we stuff em 4-0. (I can understand people saying 'don't care who wins the league if it ain't Saints' but wanting Arsenal to win it instead of Leicester? Just #### off).

Current best odds to finish in the top 4 from OddsChecker (http://www.oddschecker.com/football/english/premier-league/top-4-finish): 1/25 Arsenal 1/12 Spurs 1/8 Leicester 1/7 Man City 9/2 Man Utd 14/1 Lpool 20/1 Saints 40/1 Chelsea 50/1 West Ham 100/1 Everton 250/1 bar As expected the bookies have the current Top 4 as pretty much nailed. 20/1 (as short as 12/1 in places) with 12 games to go means it ain't total pie-in-the-sky type stuff though. Just unlikely. Imagine being a Leicester fan who has been in a coma for a few months. They come round and look at the table. WTF - have they been chucked out of the league or something? They then see them at the TOP. They quickly fall back into another coma...

The draw is seeded. The winner gets a place in the Champions League. Which club out of Man Utd, Liverpool or Chelsea have requested this then? To give the FA Cup some more INTEREST then I'd 1/ Yeah sure - give the winner a place in the CL 2/ No replays. No extra time. 90 mins then penalties. Goes against tradition but you know you are thru or out. No mucking about. Small club wants a pay day? Win the pen shoot-out to stay in the competition. If it goes to pens - then instead of a coin-flip - one player from each team is given the ball in the centre circle. They both have to kick it towards the penalty spot at one end. The one who gets closest gets to pick whether go 1st or 2nd and which end the pens are at. 3/ The away team is always guaranteed 25% of the tickets. Get some atmosphere going. Anything but seeding. The day that happens is the day the FA Cup really does die.

That's nothing earth shattering in those tips - just the typical sort of advice you'll find in most half marathon training guides. The main tip there really is to just enter one - then work out some sort of loose training schedule between now and race day. There's probably tons of similar sites out there now but I've always found http://www.mapmyrun.com/ very handy. You can map out routes based on googlemaps but with the added advantage that if you uncheck 'auto follow roads' you can include parts of your routes when you are running across fields or whatever. Oh one other tip - if you are planning on say a 10 mile run. Try and do it as one big loop - not two 5 mile ones. That way you can't just think 'sod it' after 5 miles and call it day. If you do stop half way you still have a 5 mile walk home. This makes it much more likely that you will keep going.

City are not losing 2-0. They are actually winning 2-0. If you aren't sure about which City I mean then here is a handy hint: Long way to go in this game yet but I can't see Man City scoring 3. That best not jinx it. Come on Leicester!

I un-politely disagree with this. F********* YOU!!! Come on Denver. Do 'em.

I think if you can run 6+ miles twice a week it isn't that much of a step up to run 13. You could probably do it now if you had to. It all depends on how *easily* you want to be able to run 13. What time are you doing the 6 in? Just the usual advice really: - do some longer runs than you've been doing. Long in time. Don't worry about your pace too much - run your usual distance faster - as you get fitter you'll be surprised how much quicker your time can be. Try and keep the pace steady - find a hill that you can run up and down. Run up it as fast as you can. Walk down. Get your breath back. Sprint up it again. Praps 5 times to start with. Add extra goes as you get fitter. Soon you'll be up to 20+ - Similar to the hill work. Go out for a jog. Every 5 mins turn it into a 30 second sprint - Most of all - just get out there and do something. Don't stress it too much. Reverse of that is don't over-train. Rest days are important too... Enter the half. It will encourage you to do the training that you require. It won't be long before you start thinking about what time you want to be able to do it in - rather than just 'can I do it?'.

Best kick ever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVl2r5pSBC4

Bring it on!