Dog

I would never shoot a cat with an air rifle, that is sick! The poor cat could be in pain for weeks with a slug lodged in its skull. I can recommend a way to stop cats pooing on your garden, human poo is the best deterant by a mile. Spread a bit here and there especially in the hot spots and the cats will walk on by. Human poo needs to be replaced on a regular cycle as when it goes dry it doesn't tene to work as well.

I once chopped a cat clean in half with a spade for crapping constantly in my garden. Funny thing is, it never did it again.

Spraying water up your anus isn't gay at all, it is a hygenic way to clean yourself. However moulding the bar of Dove into a 7" penis and doing yourself in the ringer is. Master Bates you disgust me!

I love mowing the lawn, it makes me feel like Michael Schumaker for half an hour. My Honda petrol mower does look similar to a Ferarri F1.

Jill, are you an uphill gardener?

Dr Feelgood. Milk & Alcohol

Jill can you pop around early, I need to give your beef a good pounding as it looks a bit old and chewy.

Jill can I see your meat before I take you up the .... on your offer.

Dr Pepper

Get your BBQ out. Today is the day for the last bbq of the year. Wild boar ribs, fillet steak, lamb chops, Angus burgers, black pudding, olives & ghurkins.

Dr John Christie

Dr Brownfinger?

Doctorin the Tardis.

Very sad news, he was a good man whatever his views. He did a lot of work for charity.

Why is the name W.O.G. offensive, It means Western Originated Gentleman.

golly doll, are you taking the p!ss?

Conquered Moon ?

My sister was given a personalised watch by that Nazi chap when she lived in Austria, he has his own brand of watches. It may be worth a few quid now.

I had a Gollywog named Gollywog, I used to use him to polish my school shoes as he was the same colour and the black shoe polish didn't effect his appearance. I think they are banned these days.

Whats the name of the pub on the council estate? Something moon rings a bell. Went in the once, and ended up having a threesome with two Milfs. It was like the top of a wellington boot. A bit of a dump.

That's because she isn't famous you dork. Even you don't know her name and you picked her.

http://www.devinettor.com/#

A good magnifying glass in the sun seems to turn them to charcoal.

jill can you email me your personal email address to as I have just sent you the photo you wanted of my erect penis to your old work one.