FloridaMarlin

We stay here http://www.grandnewyork.hyatt.com/en/hotel/home.html when we go. Smack next door to the Chrysler building, yards from Grand Central Station. A bit pricey and weekend rates are cheaper when they don't charge top rates for businessmen on expense accounts. If you prefer a nicer class of hotel, you're always going to pay for it in NY. To save money, unless you can get a good B&B deal online (check out Hyatt's own site for offers, they often have better packages than booking sites) don't bother eating there. There are loads of places nearby where you can get a great cheap breakfast. One thing, you'll never starve in NYC. there are loads of great places to eat. Wouldn't disagree with any of the tips above. One I would add, if you intend doing any shopping Macy's before Xmas (and who wouldn't with some of their bargains? I bought two Lacoste jumpers for £27 each) go straight to the Customer Services department and get the tourist tax discount vouchers. Well worthwhile. Staten Island Ferry is best free thing in NYC and takes you right by the Statue of Liberty for good pix, but beware. You are not allowed to stay on the boat for the return journey if you intend coming straight back. You have to disembark, pass through the terminal, go outside and nip back in to join the queue to re-embark. Don't hang around or you might miss the boat going back and have to wait an hour or so for the next one, And believe me, there is very little in the terminal or immediate vicinity to kill time and you could face the longest hour of your life.

And in the best traditions of companies who helped them out, do they expect to be paid? What will FPN do when they present their bill, and are told; "can you go to the back of the queue, please, the parachute payments aren't likely to stretch as far as you." Would FPN serve a winding-up order on a business they are so proud to have helped to set up?

Don't shoot the messenger and I really hope the information is wrong, but I was told Shaw wouldn't play again this season.

I liked this bit; “It’s a fantastic start to the deal to say, hand on heart, that we believe we have the cheapest shirts in English football and hope to see as many kids as possible in the south-east wearing them. Cue hundreds - nay thousands - of kids throughout the south-east proudly wearing the famous old blue shirt, only to return it two weeks after buying it, follwing a first wash* where the stitching fell apart and the sleeves fell off, or a game in the rain where the colour leached out I'm pretty sure that Sondico's best-selling range of sports paraphernalia used to be table-tennis bats, but not any more apparently. *First wash - this phrase open to interpretation as washing of clothes in p********h is not carried out on a regular basis. Or at all.

Can somebody remind us where this 'thriving' academy is based? Is it based at a state of the art training headquarters with all the latest sports science technology and innovations to help develop young players and bring out the best of their talent? Or is it at a former community centre with broken windows where the young stars' main concern will be keping half an eye on the dressing rooms to make sure their clothes aren't nicked by the locals?

Two bald men fighting over a comb.

If I were the owners or Gay Whittingham, I think I would be entitled to ask why the players who put in such a tremendous display to beat one of the teams in the play-offs, haven't put a a similar effort all season. Perhaps they feel it was their chance to put themselves in the shop window as most of them won't be there next season.

In other school sports news, Head teacher Mr Whittingham has decided that in the interests of fairness, and so that nobody goes home disappointed or upset from sports day, there will be no trophies for 'winners'. Everybody taking part in an event will be awarded with a lovely certificate at the end of the race, which will contain a hearty 'Well Done!' for taking part. Even little Andrew Awford, the fat boy from the Junior Fish class will get something to show that he is not a loser, but a valued member of the class who tries his bestest at everything.

If it is truly a fan-owned club, then these and those rucking at Waterloo station are the people who own it. Lovely. Classy. Let's hope these really are the people making the decisions over the running of the club. The rest of the football world will soon see why we wanted the cockroach of football crushed.

I love the one halfway down the story where he looks like a pensioner having a nap in his armchair in the conservatory of a rest home. You expect him to wake up any moment and say; "Have I had my tea yet?"

A former Star Trek actor has been forced to close down his womens' lingerie business after reporting poor sales at Shatner Knickers.

Ouch, that must have hurt Ian 'Inky' Darke, big p****y supporter. Laugh at him desperately trying to talk up a Reading goal that got that got away when Boruc carried the ball back. "Can you see a millimetre or two of green between the ball and the post?" No Ian, you can't. It was never a goal and you know it.

Summer 2012, Busch Gardens, Tampa Bay. Sheikra.

The difference between him and Federici. Reading were moaning about Saints first goal, but Federici bottled it. It's times like that you need your keeper to be brave. Boruc would have been out to smother it and clatter the forward at the same time. I'm old enough to remember Bob Wilson breaking Hugh Fisher's leg in a similar situation. Sky were trying to make J-Rod's challenge a controversial talking point but both Wilkins and Son of The Twitch said J-Rod wanted it more, which is as near as an ex-pro will come to saying the keeper bottled. Boruc wouldn't have choked in a similar situation.

First off, Lawrenson is not a tosser, he's actually a very nice bloke. The way his predictions are done is that a BBC journo will phone him and have a chat with him. He doesn't actually write the column himself, although as it's under his name it obviously goes back to him for checking. Secondly, the BBC and other media organisations employ people like Lawrenson to voice an opinion and be prepared to stick their necks out. There is nothing worse than a pundit who sits on the fence, like Alan Hansen and. indeed. our old boy Shearer. They say little and add nothing to the debate. Likewise, Geoff Boycott at the Beeb. Again, you may not agree with his views, but at least he voices an opinion and this is the whole idea. Any media organisation - but especially the BBC as it is publicly-funded - has to encourage interactivity with its audience. One way of doing that is to use pundits to spark a debate, which Lawro has patently done. Those who moan about the BBC employing Lawro are missing the point. The fact that people are discussing Lawro's predictions is carrying out the function for which it is intended. Rather than moan at Lawro, you should at least give him credit for being prepared to stick his neck out. It's no coincidence that he does the predictions. Hansen didn't want to touch them with a barge pole as he knew doing the predictions could ***** the bubble of his highly self-regarded reputation. Lawro is not so precious. He accepts that part of his role is to be shot at and that is partly what he is paid for. And he doesn't have an axe to grind when it comes to Saints.

And for that reason, I think the players will be really up for it on Saturday. All the talk has been how Adkins will get the Reading players fired up to face his old team? Why? What's it got to do with them? But I think there's more than a few Saints players who will be determined to put one over on Adkins.

"Saints fans don’t really seem to do the hatred and ire that supporters of other club’s seem to muster up at the slightest injustice." - who can he possibly be talking about? "Its certainly hard to imagine that they disliked Adkins. They won back to back promotions with him and a rare piece of silverware in three decades." This piece of silverware wouldn't be the JPT won under Pardew, would it?

Redknapp smelling relegation and already trying to distance himself from his team's shortcomings. The player he went out on a limb to bring in, spending £12m of Tony Fernandes' money and paying him £100.000 a week (and all this after saying he wasn't going to spend a lot of the chairman's money as it wasn't fair) made two of the biggest rickets you'll ever see. But on top of that, in his post-match presser he then blames Samba for thrusting himself up front in the last 10 minutes. Isn't it in the manager's control to tell his players what to do and where to play? Of course, had Samba scored or set up a goal in those last 10 minutes, Saggychops would have hailed his tactical genius, but as they lose, he castigates the players. At a time when they probably need a lift and a consoling arm around the shoulder, he blasts them in public. I seem to recall him doing something similar here, when his negative vibes in attempting to absolve himself of all blame, transmitted to the players. Despicable man. Vile creature.

It's become standard football behaviour to mouth platitudes at former clubs and the opposition, borne out of the fear that any adverse comments could be used against you as a motivational tool. When Joe Royle was Oldham manager he claimed after one win that he didn't need to give a rousing pre-match team talk, all he did was pin the opposition manager's dismissive programme notes on the dressing room door. Perhaps a bit of journalistic licence from Joe, but that sort of thing has now spawned pointless anodyne pre-match drivel, where a manager will always say the opposition are a good side and he expects a tough game, even if it a Premier Leage team playing a Conference outit in the FA Cup. Even last week you had Roy Hodgson saying that he expected a tough battle against San Marino and they would be treated with the utmost respect. Whatever happened to managers saying; "We should trounce this shower and if we don't, I will eat my tracksuit." So, naturally, with Saints coming up, Adkins will say nice things about the club and its supporters, so that Saints fans travelling to Reading will not turn it into a seething pit of hate. And I'm not sure I buy into all this; "Adkins' appointment means it's a nailed-on three points for Reading." It's only Adkins with an axe to grind against Saints, not the Reading players and it will be a test of his motivational skills to relay that to the players. Plus, if Saints players were as disaffected with Adkins as we are led to believe, surely they will want to put one over on him and prove the club was right to get rid of him?

Phil Miles, The Footy Poet, FFS. Perhaps he could help finish this off. "A p****y fan called Phil Miles, Went for a spin in a punt.....

When you say local, where do you mean? It can't be a Southampton pub, otherwise the team picture would have been ripped off the wall. It can't be a p********h pub, the Lady Godiva would have been stolen.

I applied for tickets to a few television programmes last year, occasionally the company I applied through sends me an email about up and coming shows, this came through to me yesterday; "Hello there! We thought that you might be interested to know you can now apply to join us in the studio or online for a brand new interactive comedy pilot! As with all of our shows, the tickets are FREE! FAT PIPES - AN INTERACTIVE, CROWD-SOURCED COMEDY PILOT FAT PIPES is a live, one hour, interactive, online comedy pilot, being developed by BBC Comedy for BBC Three/iPlayer on 25 March 2013. And we want you to get involved. FAT PIPES will be hosted by BAFTA and Chortle Best Newcomer Nominee Iain Stirling (Russell Howard’s Good News, BBC Three's Comedy At The Fringe) and will feature a cast of some of Britain’s best and brightest young comedy talent. The pilot episode will be streamed direct from The Hospital Club Studios in Central London and will be a raucous, anarchic hour of live, interactive comedy, with set piece contributions, special guests, stunts, music and games that the audience – both in the studio and at home – can join in with online in real time via Facebook, Twitter and the wider internet. Using social media, we’ll get to know our audience ahead of the show and create an online comedy event that viewers can join in with, sending in jokes and suggestions and playing along with photo challenges and live online comedy ‘games’. You might even be invited to join us live in the studio via your webcam…" At first I thought it was a joke from someone, but no, there really is to be a comedy show called Fat Pipes...anyone from here involved with the naming of TV shows??[i/] This is 'Write your own punchline' material. Is this the old joke about announcing the crowd changes to the teams before kick-off?

They and their bankers must assume they are staying up.

Without giving your location away, can you say if it is in the Southampton area? I just find it strange that in the Snooze story, there was no mention whatsoever of where the mystery house is. If it was in a decent in or near p*******th (I know, that's a relative term) like somewhere up the Meon Valley, they would have said so. The fact they assidiously gave no clue where the house might be makes me think it might well be in enemy territory. The question then is will they continue to be plucky heroes, rallying and stirring the valiant troops with their frat house antics, or will they be fackin' scummahs for their downright refusal to live on Craggy Island?

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/the-pompey-bunch-uniting-their-team-1-4893927 Wonder where the house is? It's strange there is no mention of the locality in the story. What would the Phew say if the house responsible for team building is at the western end of the M27.