Midfield_General

Yes, I realise that. But in some legal cases, even though people have done things they shouldn't have, they keep quiet and then hire lawyers who build cases to - gasp - try and make it seem better than it is in order to get the punishment reduced. They don't stride up to the specific person who has a £200m personal interest in prosecuting them and say 'Look, between you and me, we did it, but don't worry, we're handling it' in front of a room full of people, before their legal team has had the chance to lead on it, and then expect it to go well. There's a reason lawyers always instruct their clients to say 'no comment' to everything even when all the evidence overwhelmingly suggests they did it.

Because that fucking idiot Parsons thought that if he just said 'OK, you got us, we did it' and didn't bother defending it then everyone would think he was such a super chap for the being so honest that the punishment wouldn't be so bad

I regret to inform you that while you've been away it's been decided that it's all your fault and you owe us all £250 billion and a free hand job to Steve Gibson You have until 1pm to appeal or else it's time to get crankin'

I wonder at what stage everyone internally at the club realises they/ we're fucked and the blame game starts as they all start turning on each other in an attempt to save their own skins I'm going for tomorrow morning Dragan vs. Exec (Parsons) vs. Management team (Tonda and team) vs. Head of Analytics (whoever the fuck) vs. wee Will Salt the lone wolf in a blame game Battle Royale Who will survive?

Go on then - what's the Big Picture that we should all be seeing? Is it related to Chem trails? 5G masts? Is Phil Parsons turning our frogs gay?

BREAKING: "Eric Black admits 'it was me'"

Quite. There is a world of difference between 'We only did it three times' and 'Only three clubs have come forward with hard, incontrovertible evidence that we did it to them'. There is not a chance that we spied on Oxford in January and then didn't do it again until Ipswich in April. It seems pretty obvious at this point that it was a systematic, cultural thing and everyone involved thought it was terribly clever and a jolly good laugh (hence the story about swapping internal emails joking about how they were doing it). The only reason that only those three games are being focused on are because those are the games where they got caught red-handed. It seems very likely that we were doing it the rest of the time as well, it's just that those clubs didn't catch us.

Venky's

Gavin Bazunu, QC

Yeah apparently Parsons was asking around after the first leg to see if anyone knew a lawyer and Luke Ayling gave him her number Clever move from Borough

This is who represented us, according to the Athletic: https://www.blackstonechambers.com/barristers/kate-gallafent-kc/ "Considerable expertise of civil liberties and human rights." Super

"When Southampton spied on Ipswich, the operation involved dressing in Eastleigh kit as a disguise." That's Eastleigh, the large suburb of Southampton with a long and well-documented connection to Southampton FC. Well done lads, they'd never have seen through that 🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is actually just funny now. The absolute fucking state of them

From the mouth of our CEO - the one person we should be able to rely on to know how to act in the best interests of the club, whatever they may be at that time To their CEO - the one person who is obviously going to do everything in his power to act in the best interests of his club, especially when he personally stood to gain tens of millions from it. What the fuck did Parsons think Gibson was going to say? 'Oh OK, we'll just keep it between us then, don't worry about it'? I'm struggling to think of any example, ever, of someone saying or doing something more stupid than that, in any walk of life. And I can't. Gerald Ratner, maybe. But it's close.

That's so harsh on our crack Executive team of corporate visionaries, master media manipulators, legal eagles and disruptive out-of-the-box thinkers. I went on the official site just now to find out the latest on the Saints Store opening hours and Parking Update, and there it was, top story in the club's Latest News. So everyone can rest easy — we've got our best men on the case and they are all over it.

Fuck me, is that who they used? A fucking high street lawyer for a £200m+ issue making headline national news and with the eyes of the entire football world on it. This board just gets more and more comical by the minute. The unbeatable blend of breathtaking arrogance and staggering ineptitude.

The coughing major from Everyone Wants To Be A Millionaire. Everyone deserves a second chance. Or maybe Hannah Ingram Moore. Not sure what her preferred formation is but at least the players' spa facilities would be top drawer.

William Salt

Parsons simply cannot be left in charge after this debacle. How can he be trusted to handle anything? He's clearly a complete cretin who has actively made an already shit situation a hundred times worse. Presumably heads are going to roll and his should be first. He has to go, immediately.

I'm starting the book on who's getting sacked, in what order, and when: I'll kick off — Parsons will be first to get canned, at 5.30 on Thursday night

Now THAT'S a funny post

Oh get to fuck Tonda Of course he did. And if he didn't, he fucking should have done And whatever, it's still no defence. He's the figurehead of a multi-million pound operation, he can't just say 'I didn't know' and expect it to wash This gets more farcical and pathetic by the minute An absolute clown car from top to bottom, again

They didn't need a whistleblower — according to the Telegraph, Parsons just fessed up to Gibson on the spot in front of a room full of people before we'd even had the chance to get a legal team on board. Our CEO, ladies and gentlemen fuck me

Apparently the new panel is Steve Gibson, Mike Dean and John Westwood. Parsons and his crack legal team reported to be 'confident'.

Oh well that's that sorted then, if Parsons is confident. Fuck my life, this club 🤣

Top story on the OS: 'Saints Store Opening Hours and Parking Update'. Finger on the pulse, reading the room as ever lads, well done 👍