Tokyo-Saint

What made you think that?

As the unfunny weasle half of a comedy double act* I sometimes feel obliged to keep TMS ticking along by helping out with the investigations. A few weeks ago, I accidently got caught up in the gay scene. This came as a surprise to me as it was a Sunday afternoon my dogs were present. All of the following is true - The cover story & Location Every Sunday I walk my dogs down along the Thames Path so that they can have a swim. I then cut through these fields on the way back. I have done for ages, at least 1 and half years. This is the Thames Path: As you can see this is beautiful enough for a cover story/alabi. The area the fields are on what is called Ham common. Here is proof that this is a genuine nature reserve (notice no rainbow flags). The gays & me One Sunday it was really hot and I was cutting back through the fields and these guys were stood in the long grass, they were all stood separately about 20 meters apart and looking in the same direction. Some other guys were kind of wandering around. They all looked pretty similar, all middle age, bit George Michael, in speedos, wearing a baseball cap and with a strange little rucksack. I didn't know what I was investigating, it looked like some weird game, maybe like a battle reconstruction in speedos. This is how they were more or less spaced out. As I got closer I could see more of how they looked. It was a bit more obvious that they were gay as some of them looked like Turkish and others looked like what you might imagine bear looks like. Here is an example: Turks Bear As I walked around the path got narrower and some of the guys were walking past me, they looked me up and down but didn't seem interested. Not very friendly for dog walkers I thought and where is their dog? Then there was like a rustling in the bush, this looked very much like the bit with the rustling bushes in Jurassic Park. Here is the actual path I walked down: As I walked round it became more and more apparent that some bumming must be going on. I was now investigating that I was in the middle of a big gay scene. The funny thing is, my dogs legged it into the bushes to find out what was happening and I could hear these voices telling the dogs to fuck off and stuff. It turns out dogs aren't easily deterred by angry gay men that have been disturbed and it took a bit of time to get them out. Anyway, soon as my investigations was done I got out of there pretty quickly. When I got home I googled it investigated this place is a big gay cruising on hot sundays in summer, they call it sexy sundays or something. The Reviews http://pinkuk.com/ says that Ham Common is "Very cruisy! Lots of sex in the woods and nude sunbathing in the summer. Parking is ample next to the river Thames and very safe and discrete." Mr Anon of Richmond says "3 out of 5 Nice big quiet open air area. A lot of older guys here, be great for some more under 35s to hang around. You often get guys sunbathing naked in the summer in the long grass behind. Head into the woods either side of the bloody great path that runs through the middle of it, you're bound to bump into people. There are sometimes some cute joggers who stop by - the rule seems to be that the guys who are likely to be interested are within the wooded areas. The whole area is used by dog walkers, and is close to a baseball diamond that does get used so try to be discrete." Another Mr Anon says "fell asleep sunbathing in the grass and woke up to find a guy in speedos watching me. we swapped shorts and had some good fun - will be back again soon." Full information on the area can be found here http://pinkuk.com/venues/1575/gay-cruising/london/ham-common http://www.gayscout.com calls Ham Common a hotbed for up for it gays 5 stars Conclusion It turns out that this is a massive gay cruising area on hot summer weekend days. As we didn't have a summer last year and my dogs are two years old, I have not been lucky enough to discover previously and pretty much have my weekend walks all routed out. I previously got caught up in the gay scene while working close to soho. My former workmates insisted that we would have friday drinks in 'the edge' on soho square. Being a modern man at peace with my sexuality, I was down with this. It was all fine until Darren from big brother 1 offered me "the best sex I have ever had in my life". This was fine as to be fair, I was drinking in 'the edge' so.... Not sure I am with gayscout giving this 5 stars as for dog walkers, having to return stolen speedos from dog's mouths back to angry gays is a bit of an inconvenience. All in all I would give it 2.5 stars out of 3. *Copyright Norway saint

That's what the gays said - more on that later.

Maybe we can sell Guly using the same Jedi mind trick?

Ok ok, I am getting a lot of PMs from you closets so here is a little teaser of the findings of my investigation. Now leave me alone, I have work to do.

I go back every week bear, the dogs love it.

Sorry colon, no early teaser infos on this. All I will say is that I have done it 3 times now and me and my dogs have been shocked on each occasion. I need to do a bit more background work but it appears 'sexy summer Sundays' have been happening for a while.

I think his name is the child stealer or something like that. I'm going to do an investigation into gay cruising soon as I accidentally got involved in the seen recently. Just bit busy at work at the moment to do a full on investigation.

What's the deal with Bournemouth's stadium, it's called Dean Court right? How come it is sometimes called the sandybeach stadium or something?

Doesn't he want to move back to the North East?

Yeah but they are Australia, it's different over there - prison rules.

yeah Saville is the one who fingered baby cambridge's grandmother, Rolf just got confused with a kangaroo or something.

Bear makes baby cambridge cry

We are are all very very affected by that Baz. Just like the British massacres in the distant past. This is all very linked to Bournemouth and our non rivalry with them. In answer to the OP, no they will never be rivals. Bournemouth is in general a nice place with Ok people and decent for a night out. Portsmouth is a scum hole, with an ego to rival Liverpool and a team to rival Hartlepool.

Barry still regularly campaigns against the war in Vietnam.

That is a well known gay predators spot bear, good thinking.

I'm glad you spotted it as well smirker. The price paedo seems to have some hold over the mainboard dullards and they are all worshiping him every time he posts a picture of Adrian Chiles. They don't see the dark 'tummy ache' side of the bear.

The girl from little miss sunshine (Abigail Breslin) is 17 years old bear. Are you saying that you regularly ask girls like this for topless photos? This thing goes way back!

And there we have it, proof that you can't teach a dumb bear new tricks. It is a well know fact that bear has a (internet forum) criminal record for dancing on the graves of well known/loved respected celebrities. Yet time and time again, he cannot go past an RIP thread without posting some evil comment using foul language such as 'tummy ache'. Now this! Less than 24 hours since he received a paedo warning, he is again asking a completely innocent poster to "forward him photos of underage boys". I hope the saints internet forum mods have some kind of interforum network so that they have act in a cohesive unilateral way against this well known troublemaker.

What you so surprised about bear? It was always going to end up that one of us would be on the resister, I'm just glad that it is you. You can't just ask young boys to pm you topless photos of themselves, this is what Internet moderators apparently call 'inappropriate behaviour'.

Er yeah, yeh, joke bear. Don't worry bout it. If beefy or whoever post after you with "sex case, sex case, hang 'm hang 'm hang 'm" don't worry, it is also just part of the jokes.

Oh FFS - this McDonalds drive throu operative likes to holiday in Ibiza and is mod hitman chalet's number one target.

I know what you're thinking spudders, you're thinking I'm just going to make it easy for you by saying something obvious like, this price pikey famously made a spelling mistake when trying to review his favourite book 'fifty shades of gay' and then went on to review some girl porn instead... But I'm not! This is for 5 rep points so you'll have to work it out yourself.

Quick quiz, which bear just got a warning from the not 606 mods for asking under age boys to pm him topless pics of themselves? Winner gets 5 rep points.

Dig dog to the forum please, dog dog to the forum.