Tokyo-Saint

You do know you will now get a PM of a picture of his knob now don't you SA - pretty standard bear grooming stuff.

Ah RP saint, now I know you have some bad stories. Let's start off in Thailand (either time) and go from there. You can start with, "it was a very dark night and I was very very drunk" if you like.

Bet you are glad you paid up your fiver now eh SA? Come on bear, your turn with a bumming or fingering story.

This sentence was enought to cause a distraction for me bear: This is probably what done for SA too. By the time he worked our who was related to who and where everyone was staying, it was too late. He had already been roofied and was sitting naked on a sofa.

You never went in??? Going in would be the first thing I would have done once the agent gave me the keys.

That story will definitely confuse and distract people - thanks! Mods - you watching this? That is another £5 sale I have made, puts me above bearsy as salesman of the year. Mines a chicken Tikka Maslala please.

That's ok bear, I corrected you in his honour. By the way, your oh should really be an Oh and can you please post a video with each reply or at least a link as a mark of respect.

Dumb bear, it was a minute of corrections and facts they had planned, not silence.

Stop changing the rules and start telling your stories then SA, so far it is just me exposing their sole to the general public. Sooner or later someone on here is going to know the girl from Salcombe close and I will be busted! Quick, change the subject.

Simon Pryde ‏@SimonPryde Tim Krul's ankle injury will keep him out of action for 5 weeks. Rob Elliot to make PL debut v Southampton. #nufc #totalsport

I have heard that you are allowed to bring that up as a valid justification for divorce now.

Oh thank god! I was worried cause I said you died in a data processing accident, then you disappeared and I thought that maybe you had died - like a premonition. Anyway, I am happy you are alive. When will the data update for football manager be out?

gtomlinson is a confused man. He will be correcting your speech indediments, spellin and gramma soon bear. It's like he don't even know you!

Last tweet was in January and was around the time of his keep posting the same thing meltdown. - spent over £35m on players this season, the last game saw them outplay Man Utd at Old Trafford with 21 shots. Yet people complain!

I would guess Steve Harper - he is a fairly decent keeper but no Tim Krul.

You need to sort that out as soon as possible as it is one of the best films of its generation. Here is what I am going on about

She was 17 at the I think and I was 18. I honestly think she was a leader in the girl guides or something though. She was far too straight and nice for me, that is for sure. Anyway Phil, back on topic of this game. I gave the question of bad dating experiences, time for you to tell a ladyboy story ala Begbie in trainspotting.

She lived on Salcombe Close in Valley Park chandlers ford. Here is a street view of the area https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&safe=off&q=valley+park+chandlers+ford&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x48747312cce4a023:0x23d81ffc5d969fe9,Chandler's+Ford,+Hampshire&gl=uk&ei=EI0nUaGFJ9LJ0AXxm4G4Dw&ved=0CHsQtgM Where the blue van is parked is where I was parked more or less, maybe a bit further back but you get the idea. She is English, we have brownies here, I don't like cakes but I do like brownies. Maybe I should have gotten one of her before things went wrong but in those days I wasn't thinking straight. Here is some rolo brownies as proof: Edit - that link isn't working but the post code is SO53 4PJ - here you can find the blue van and paint your own picture.

Yeah you might get infractions for that. Justice Mike just likes the nipples, he hates the boob part and he hates to see young girls getting ripped off when shopping in the high street. If top shop are selling that kind of thing in their winter collection, they should be ashamed of themselves. Those diamonds aren't even real and someone has just tangoed her.

That isn't my exact car Phil (although it does look like it and for a bit I was thinking it might be it) and she was much posher and nicer than me.

She was actually a good girl. In truth things started to go wrong when I noticed some extreme differences in our social activities. I called her on Halloween and asked what she was up to, she said "making cakes and brownies for the trick or treaters" at that point we were filling a supersoaker with **** and preparing our eggs to throw at the (teenage) trick or treaters. It was never going to work out - standard Romeo and Juliet stuff really.

I've got a story, nothing to do with this thread but no one else seems to care why should I. Anyway, I was going out with this bird when I was a teenager. I had put all my money into this good looking car and she was pretty impressed. When I went to pick her up, her younger brother and dad came out to meet me and were both impressed with my good looking car (which little did they know was a piece of junk). Anyway we went out (probably to centros as that was my old sure thing safe bet 2nd date venue), things went well and when I took her home I pulled up just around the corner from her house, not quite in view of the kitchen window. We started getting in with each other, one thing lead to another and I get the 18 years old's 2nd date dream - wet smelly fingers. We carried on for a bit and after I gave up on her touching my knob, I decided it was time to leave. She got out the car and I started thinking "mmm not bad - date at my house coming up next, ill get me knob out there and wave it in her face, she won't be able to ignore that and you can do stuff like that in your own house - it's your house ain't it?". I then went to pull off but my car wouldn't start. I was a dumb teenager and didn't realise that although my lights were off the seedy music (R Kelly 'aint nothing wrong with a little bump and grind' on repeat) I was playing was enough to drain my battery. She was then like "everything ok" I was "yeah yeah, see you later" but it was obvious everything was not ok. Then the lights in our house started to come on, curtains were twitching and of course her dad and brother came out again. It quickly came apparent that my car was actually as piece of **** and not anywhere near as good as it's recent body kit and respray suggested. Then came the next obvious question "how did your battery go flat if you were just driving a minute ago, how long have you been out here, what have you been doing?" - Smell my fingers wasn't going to be the best answer here, so I quickly mumbled something about the alternator. I then called one of my mates who was happy to come along 15 minutes later with a car full of my other mates. As they arrived she quickly said see you later and started to wander in. She was just in time to hear one of them say "how did it go?" leave a pause and then say "what do you mean she had BO..... Oh you mean a smelly fanny?" Needless to stay the relationship went downhill from there and she never did feel my knob. Back to the game - When is the last time you had a date go badly wrong?

People in glass houses bear - Bearsy gtomlinson

Does she not recoil at the sight of your scrotal scar?