CanadaSaint

I hate these games where we struggle to score despite dominating.

Dave, it's way too early for whispering.

The Norwegian research and your treadmill experience are most convincing. Also, I ventured outside for just a few minutes to see what it was like, and my kidneys were quickly joined by two other spherical objects. Clearly, human beings are intended to stay inside, drink alcohol, avoid exercise and watch or listen to football games on days like this. Who am I to rebel against that commonsense?

Thanks, Ron. Even though he's a great guy, I think I'd rather jog than cuddle Dave. I have a feeling that the team will keep us all feeling nice and warm tonight. (Looks for fingers-crossed emoticon.) Well spotted, Colin. The stairs between me and my cup of coffee were the toughest part. I have more intention of becoming the next pope than I do of going outside today. I'm sitting here, getting my breath back, anxiously awaiting kick off. Hopefully SaintsPlayer/Solent won't tune us into Macclesfield v Cheltenham.

What a bunch of wussies. It's -27 celsius outside my door this morning. And I'm just about to go out for a jog. One, only one, of these statements is a lie.

For heaven's sake, he's a football manager, not an English professor. And his day to day conversations are with football players and coaches, not Rhodes scholars and fellow academics. You must go nuts listening to all these managers and former players on television.

It seems logical that the problem is "with the radio station" because no other clubs seem to hit these issues. The other team's feed always seems to work. However, the failure to solve the problem - after countless complaints - is shared between the Club and Perform Group. They're the ones charging us for a service they're not providing. If they don't sort it out, I'm sure it wouldn't take a genius to find a way that supporters could share Solent's commentary - through Skype or whatever.

That's an outright lie. This guy knows all about the problems: jsibley@saintsfc.co.uk

That's the guy to hit. He replied to my e-mail to the Club three weeks ago and he wasn't happy with Perform Group. He sent me copies of his e-mails to them. I've copied him on my e-mails about all the screw-ups since then. However, he now seems to be keeping his head down. If he doesn't get involved in fixing this, we should go higher because this is becoming farcical.

His name wasn't Lampard, was it? My favourite recollection of him was (said with utter venom in response to an innocent question about mending a damaged egg box in pine) "You stupid boy! Do I look like the kind of man who deals in six-inch nails?"

Read the post properly before jumping to your conclusions. I have exchanged polite e-mails with them on at least six occasions before losing my patience last Saturday. On the previous occasion (October 9) they responded by blaming the Club, whom I had copied on my e-mail. The Club then sent me copies of their angry e-mails to the Perform Group indicating that the excuse they had given me was a lie - the error hadn't originated with the Club at all but with the people at Perform. And then they made exactly the same error that they'd made the previous week. I'll display that "attitude" whenever I'm palmed off with a bullsh*t excuse by people I've paid to provide a service.

Patred, this is my latest exchange with customerservices@performgroup.com, with a copy to the Club. Believe me, I really have been polite through numerous complaints over many months but I damn near lost it on Saturday. Here goes: From Me to Them; October 23 – 3:10 pm GMT I'm now beyond angry. Yet again I'm listening to the wrong commentary because you appear to have no idea of what you're doing. Mistake after mistake after mistake. I've endeavoured to be polite with you but all I get is excuses, and - based on my correspondence with the Club the last time this happened - your last set of excuses were less than truthful. I DO NOT WANT A STOCK REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL, OR AN UNTRUTHFUL RESPONSE LAYING THE BLAME SOMEWHERE ELSE. I WANT A PROPER ANSWER. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO PERMANENTLY FIX THIS INCOMPETENCE? From Them to Me; October 23 – 3:31 pm GMT Thank you for contacting. I can confirm that the correct commentary is now playing. Sorry for the inconvenience caused. From Me to Them; October 23 – 3:38 pm GMT No, I'm sorry but that's not good enough. I want an explanation and some assurances that you're going to fix this permanently. Time after time after time your service is subject to cut-outs, late starts, and even - repetitively - delivery of the incorrect feed. It's disgraceful. Believe me, I'm far from alone in being sick and tired of the recurrent mistakes, the weak excuses and the all round incompetence. Since then I have heard nothing - from either PerformGroup or the Club. I think it's time we brought this to a head, but - as I said in an earlier thread - there's something that confuses me. When I copied the Club (chairman@saintsfc.co.uk) about the screw up on October 9 I received a very pleasant reply on October 13 from a Jordan Sibley. He provided evidence that the screw up was with the Perform Group. However, and this is the bit that confuses me, if the fault is with the Perform Group rather than locally, why is the other Club's commentary always available and working properly when we are receiving an incorrect feed - or no feed at all - through Saints Player?

I did the same thing and I was also impressed with the response from the Club, but in all honesty where did that get us? I'm hammering the Perform Group right now and copying the Club on it. But the part I just don't get is this. Why is the other club's feed always available - as though they're not experiencing the same problems? And - not that I want to take Perform's side (far from it) - that begs the question of where the problem really does rest. In the meantime I'd urge everyone to e-mail the Perform Group and the Club so that they know there's more than a few of us who are really p*ssed off.

customerservices@performgroup.com Ironic name, eh?

What is it with these frigging Saints Player cretins? Yet again we have the wrong game.

They know exactly what the problem was because it's the same thing as they did last week - one of their people connected the wrong feed. I contacted the club about this after last weekend because nobody was taking responsibility, and Perform Group was blaming the people at SMS. The club copied me on an e-mail exchange between them and Perform Group which indicates the problem is definitely with Perform Group. For those who haven't complained to them yet, here's the address: customerservices@performgroup.com

Give 'em both barrels (I have) - that's the second week in succession: customerservices@performgroup.com

Now there's an irony!

Turkish, if you want an example of a real "c*nt", "mong" or "knobhead", look no further than the sick person who posted this: What a sad and angry little man you are. Meantime, the rest of us are enjoying the 2-0 win.

Ricky seems a lot hungrier this week.

With his prodigy Guly playing so well, Cortese will be out looking for more new signings.

We're the Empire, we're the Empire, we're the Empire over here

Borderline whisper from Dave. Merringtonisms not far behind. Cue "What we don't need now is to concede a goal" etc.

I dread to think what she's like during sex.

We're starting to come out with Merringtonisms ourselves. Were you whispering when you typed that?