Wade Garrett

You do make a good point, but the situation has become much more urgent since Fonte's injury.

They are sh*t.

You're not the only one.

Astori

I reckon you'd like the London in Oxford Street. Right up your street, and an excellent chance of not going home on your own.

Probably is for you, you boring f*cker!

Who gives a toss what you think about our City, you plastic scouser.

None of you Bassett benders would last 5 minutes in Woolston. Not even the peasants with flowers in their gardens.

Being the spoilt bast*rd that I have become since Marcus invested in the club, I would be disappointed if Astori doesn't play on Saturday.

Chris Baird could be a decent signing for the right money. Versatile and experienced.

5 days til Villa.

With the injury to Fonte, we need someone in quickly. If his agent is mucking us about, and 2million a year isn't enough for him then walk away and get someone else. We can't afford to let this one drag on like the Ramirez transfer.

Is your user name cockney rhyming slang?

I reckon it could be true. Apparently he's started buying Viz so he can learn their language.

Obviously don't know, but I would say that Fonte's injury has made completing the Astori deal more urgent. In short, it's imperative we have a new replacement in place ready to start against Villa.

Great if he can play wide, but would he offer any protection to the full-backs?

I bet the Chelsea side, with all Roman's billions, had Puma Kings on. Spoilt bastards.

Were they all wearing black Puma Kings with aluminium studs?

If we've already said we won't sell him in this window, why would we let him talk to Newcastle? The only way I could see this deal going through is if a deal is sorted for Hooper. Even then I think it would be a massive mistake. Not doubting what you were told Duncan, but if it was true, surely a journo or agent would have picked up on it. The club would probably want to set up some sort of auction.

Granger is an excellent coach. Shame he didn't take the job when Pardew was manager.

Why do we need a new stadium?

I'd like to see Reeves at left midfield and Ward Prowse in the middle. Would also like to see Lee playing. Imperative we rest Lambert. I would rest Morgan in case he loses it and gets a red. i would play our best defence though. Hopefully Clyne is fit, and I would continue with Boris in goal.

Hasn't he f*cking signed yet.

All this soft ground/hard ground configuration is bullsh*t. Soft ground, 6 screw in studs, 2 at the back longer. If really soft put longer studs in. Hard ground, moulded boots, and not that Blade sh*t. Good enough in my day, and we didn't slip like we were playing on ice. If I was Adkins, I'd sort it out.

Masturbation. I do get some funny looks in the ground though. I pay for my ticket, I'll celebrate how I want.