Wade Garrett

It’s bullshit.

Would rather loan or buy Ings than buy some shite Brazilian reserve who has two left feet. What the fuck are our scouting team smoking?

I played semi-pro as well. Played with plenty of shite players. Doesn’t make me Jimmy fucking Hill either.

How did RussBall work out in the Premier League last season for Burnley?

If he’s not pragmatic and continues with his style, he will be sacked by the end of September.

What are you taking about?

How can we play with 2 wide men and no centre-forward. Ridiculous. No wonder it was Southampton nil again. He continues trying to be too clever for his own good.

Never appreciated that side of Ramsdale’s game. Hope we get him.

We’re getting our pants pulled down. Just give us the cash and keep your dud players.

Sorry I didn’t add value. I’ll try much harder next time.

He’s just like everyone else’s fake mates.

I’ve just spoken to my Flamenco supporting mate. He said - you give him the ball, he go here, here, here, here, goal! Only joking, he’s a reserve, can’t get in the team and we’re trying to pull your pants down.

I’m not desperate to keep him, but why replace him with someone worse?

Can’t see it. It’s like trying to buy a car and trying to trade an old banger in for £10k.

Tell me what the fucking point is in selling Alcaraz and getting a player worse than him in return. Tell them if they haven’t got the cash for the deal to take a walk. We don’t want their shit cast-offs.

Sorry, edited now.

As good as he seems to be, the do have reservations about signing yet another player with a poor injury record.

Any chance they could pay another £10m for Bazunu!

Doing a few years business in advance because they’re facing another transfer ban.

Devasted.

We’ve just signed Big Les for that job though.

You’d know.

My tailor actually said while he was measuring my inside leg ”Ooh, Jason Steele, suits you sir. Magnificent pair of hands and such delicate feet”. I don’t give a fuck what Farmer’s bumpkins said about him.

Town Quay and Southampton Central? Walk you lazy bastards.

My tailor and my hairdresser are both Brighton STH and they reckon Steele is like Pele with the ball at his feet and Shilton with it in his hands.