saintbletch

Thank you Window Cleaner but I am not at liberty to confirm or deny if my name is related to BP. #nationalsecurity But a couple of years ago my son's school team (my favourite son, not Toke) came second overall in a the National Cipher Challenge - a competition run by Southampton University and sponsored by GCHQ. Take a look, it's a brilliantly conceived competition and is great fun for anyone with an interest in maths, statistics and words. What's that? Just me? Anyway, the award was presented at Bletchley Park. By the way, Window Cleaner sounds like the name of a 70s soft-porn star, which is also very apt given your tales of university life. I will from now on envisage Robin Askwith whenever I read your posts. Sorry about that Bear, but if you're going to use a cipher on here you should probably take in to account a couple of things. Firstly, there is a beautifully constant frequency distribution of letters used in the English language. Even our scrawlings on here largely follow this pattern below. Altho txt spk chngs thingz a lttl. This means that if all you do is rotate (shift) the alphabet, then all you achieve is to move this frequency along. So given enough text, and taking into account your eccentric spelling, this makes it fairly easy to find the shift - 23 in your case. Secondly, alter your lexicon. I'd guess that if I took 5 of your posts, I reckon that I'd find at least one of the following terms present: DUMB, MOD, LOL, KNOB, LOLZ, TOKYO, TOKYOS, MLG, SPUDDERS, MUPPET, B!ITCH, B!THCHES or BOOBIES. Knowing this makes it easier to crack your elaborate 'code'. Oh, and drop the punctuation too. The gobbledegook was a nice touch though. So my advice would be to chose a more complex cipher bear. That way you, or rather the person that hacked your account, can post with impunity. But remind me...which Mod is it that noshes off another Mod while another Mod is watching?

It looks like it's a Caesarian shift cypher with a shift of 23.

I'd only end up posting "I agree pap" most of the time. Well, except for some of your conspiracy stuff that is. Perhaps I should make more of an effort comrade. See if we can't kick capitalism, fascism, racism and all the other isms out of football forums.

My relationship with pap is purely intellectual Toke. In that respect I guess you could say that we regularly f*** each other's brains out. But there's definitely no romance.

I wonder what first attracted Tony Pulis to the 6' 3", attacking midfielder Brek Shea?

What? Toke, when you lived in the east did you ever eat the cream of sumyunguy? I think it's from China originally, but if you ask nicely you can usually get it anywhere.

Can you suck your own nipples? #dontknockittillyouvetriedit #whatssentinapmstaysinapm

Frank's Cousin, if Mr. Turkish has christened you the King of the CoC? Does that make you a KCoc? (can't think of a better way to arrange that particular word play).

Like Coco Chanel's little black dress Toke, chords are timeless. You'll be telling me that flat caps are a no go next.

Mr. Turkish, we don't often correspond so I hope you don't mind me addressing you directly in this way. Tokyo-Saint, you know the one that's 87% as funny as bear, well he's desperate for a 'tear up'. He needs someone that he can be 'propa nawty' with. He needs a 'ruck', a 'rumble', a forum-fight if you will. And if I'm a judge, you're the right man for the job. So would you mind putting down your kettles and taking some time out from your stalking of the forum teenagers to have a 'disagreement' with Toke? I don't know if you've ever seen a cat or dog on heat (I stayed at a mate's house the other week with a female cat in season - what a night!), but they find themselves walking aimlessly around the place looking for something to either f*** or fight. Toke is in forum-season and as I don't think I'll get any volunteers to f*** him, would you mind fighting him? He's tried humping Matthew Le God's leg previously, but that love turned out to be unrequited and MLG won't come into 'range'. I get it all the time with his "Bletch = Word Bore" humour. But like a frigid, middle-aged housewife I simply lay on my side and let him go for it, while I read my Kindle until he's 'done'. I know he's tried the love that dares not speak its name with you before through his Grant Mitchell / Right Said Fred chat ups. I also know that so far you've risen above those visual comparative jibes, perhaps you're too sexy, but as he's not going to give up until he gets f***ed or fought, would you mind taking one for the team Mr. Turkish? Be his nemesis.

#tokeneedsanemesis **** you Tokyo-Saint. With your gism-filled mouth and your hands coated in ursine fecal matter, I'm surprised you can manage to talk or type. #hopeyoucleanedyourkeyboard #ieatworthersnottoffees #toffeesarefor****s #youvebeennemesis'd #nooffence

Yes. Yes hutch, we do.

I'm with you Johnny Shearer. Come and join the movement that I'm trying to establish to create intercourse between the CoCs and the FANYs. The Organisation for the Reconciliation of Grievances Against Saints' Management. Beware of imitations!

Thanks for the insight Nolan. I guess it's the word 'promised' that stood out to me. As I said, I suspect I'm reading too much into it.

I thought the same Cheam Saint. It doesn't seem like Cortese sees MP's value extending beyond the next two+ years. But the wording is interesting. “The chairman, Nicola Cortese, called last week and invited me to become manager and promised me a 2½-year project, which excited me." This doesn't read like a two and a half year contract. It reads like a guaranteed two and half year project. (irrespective of the division?). Or perhaps I'm reading too much into the language.

My guess would be that it will be re-run at about 5-10 minutes past the hour for the next few hours. I saw it at about 8:09am. I'm not a big fan of the way Cortese goes about things, so this was never going to see me rushing back to his paternal bosom, but I think he said all the right things.

Not wanting to take over another thread here, but sometimes it's good to have an adult around to offer proper advise. So I thought I should offer counsel here. I can imagine that it would have been distressing to watch your aunt Gladys lowering herself on to your rigid six-incher. Then, as you watched your tool part her flesh, you must have realised that things between you would never be the same. I understand why you felt the need to share the episode. But it's a question of motive for me. Did you set out to nail aunt Gladys RonManager, or was it one of those things that just got out of hand?

And how does that make you feel?

Your father sounds like a great bloke son, erm...I mean Toke. It'll take a few more sessions to get to the root cause of your problems, but I'd have thought that if you had played more scrabble as a younger man instead of spending hours in your room metronomically playing the glans/hand/glans/hand game, then your father would have loved you more. I mean what sort of father could feel deep paternal love for a child who couldn't get higher than 12 points using a triple-letter score tile? Your father doesn't love you (eh hmm, I imagine). So how does that make you feel?

SuperMikey, you used the term patronise. Did, or do you have a problem with the relationship with your father? If so, how does that make you feel?

I'm sensing anger SuperMikey. When you called me cüntnügget, how did that make you feel?

I see Toke. And how does that make you feel?

Hmm. And how does that make you feel SuperMikey?

31 tweets,

It's a very smart move by Cameron. He's made it about choice which is very difficult for the other parties to portray as a negative. What Milliband has to do now is 'de-position' Cameron. He, and the wider Labour party have to en mass repeat time and again that Cameron wants to leave Europe. They have to force Cameron to say that he wants to stay in. They have to get Cameron to make a commitment before he's renegotiated our relationship. They have to force some backtracking and infighting. I doubt they'll pull it off. It's a smart move all round.