saintbletch

...I've just had a vision of you sitting in the middle of a circle of your mates, all standing over you, holding hands and slowly circling you whilst repeating the words "die, die, die...". Odd. Anyway, as to Rule or Ruler. Either works for me. I guess a rule that you could use would be whether you want to measure or draw a straight line. To my mind the different uses of the words came about when the ruler was more readily available and its use became as much about drawing a striaght line at school as measuring something at work/home. So a rule's primary purpose is/was to measure (rule on a measurement) but a ruler has come to mean something that allows a straight line to be drawn as well as measured. Then again, perhaps I'm thinking too hard about it.

Ah yes the itchy arse thread. I forgot that one. A classic. But I think your scenario is how she ended up IN the flat, not OUT of it Window Cleaner. And for the record I think we had an adjudication that as the 2 scrubbers were never 'scrubbing' at the same time, it wasn't strictly a three-way.

I knew the plan would work Bearsy. I bet that blood took a while to shift, and did you use all the scotch and chocolate? If not, I might have some off you. PM me. I'm glad you got rid of her, 28 days or gone for good? As for swapping logins; there's no way you could match my pretentiousness, morals, sexual repression and anality. (is that a word?) Writing like bearsy is easys. u just fails to capitalise the odd word, pluralise the odd singular nouns and occasionally add a dis and a dat. But oddly enough you have to make sure that you use the apostrophe to perfection. Enigmatic. But I would struggle to create the surreal happenings that befall the bear. I'd have to resort to rehashing old Bearsy threads - like... See? Anyway, logging in to the forum and pretending to be someone you're not is against the rules I'm sure. So tell us Bearsy, how did you get rid of the Wicked Witch of the North?

Thanks for the tip mcjwills but when you say samsung area - what do you mean? I've looked in the Samsung Apps market and the tapatalk in there seems to be £1.50.

I've tried to un-install and re-install the tapatalk app but when I run the app for the first time, I get this. If I carry on regardless I get the following message when I try to login: It appears that I can use the forum but it seems sporadic, and I can't login. @stevegrant - any update on updating the tapatalk plugin on the server? As the message above suggest, it looks like it should fix this issue.

But as we all know trousers, the iPhone is made out of recycled ZX Spectrums and Android phones contain bits taken from crash-landed UFOs. I guess there must be something wrong with either my specific config or the Android version of Tapatalk. Anyone else got the latest update working on Android Tapatalk? I'm using a Samsung Galaxy S2.

Same here. Latest upgrade on Android for me has broken my access. Help! Admins?

Very true!

Well I just documented what I've done countless times myself scotty. It's the oldest trick in the book - we've all done it. To be honest I don't remember writing it. It was either automatic writing and I had been channelling a spirit from beyond the grave or it was the effects of the previous night's cider and scotch.

Well I thought it was obvious how to get rid of her Bearsy - at least for an initial 28 days. But if I have to spell it out, here's the plan. You'll need your driving licence, a philips screwdriver, several compliant neighbours, 79 Yorkie easter eggs, a chainsaw, one very compliant neighbour, a Kermit the Frog mask, several bunches of flowers, a manikin, several cases of strong lager, a selection of pig offal, a gullible police officer, a number of cartons of 200 cigarettes, a body bag, two litres of washing up liquid, a black wig, a ticket to see La Boheme at the Royal Opera House (and associated rail fare), 43 bottles of good Scotch, 3 hours 20 minutes of free time (where the girl isn't there), 53 high-quality Cuban cigars, a half-side of a pig, a jar of cochineal food colouring, a green dress, the services of a mediocre film director and the phone number of the local mental health team. It goes like this. Firstly, in order to make this feel real I'm going to give the girl in this drama a name - let's call her Sharon. And let's pretend that you live at number 23 in the block of flats. Anyway, back to the plan. Using your free time away from the girl, you draft a letter something like this - to be sent to all the residents in your block of flats (I've tried to write it "Bearsy styles"): So I think the plan has been suitably explained in the letter above, up until when you get the call from Tony. At this point you should call the mental health services and tell them to come to Flat 27 where a needy, dull and sexually unsatisfied female needs to be sectioned. From here on in things might get a little bit messy. When Sharon rings your bell she will be emotional, but she's likely to get more emotional. When you hear the bell that is your cue to start the chainsaw. You should be wearing the Kermit mask, a long black wig and a long, see-through green dress. You should have made up 2 litres of stage blood using the cochineal/washing up liquid mixture and your hands and the dress should be covered liberally with it. Open the door to Sharon with your free hand, whilst the other hand will be holding the chainsaw (on tick-over) and don't say a word. Not a word. Simply cant your bemasked Kermit head over to the right at an angle of about 50-55 degrees. Don't speak (this is crucial). Just stare at her. After 6-10 long seconds of silence has been shared between you, make a "ribbet" frog noise and (immediately) cant your head at a similar angle but this time to the left. Don't speak. Over your shoulder Sharon will see a scene lifted straight from Hades itself. I'll leave the finer details to you but stage blood should be covering the walls and floor. The body bag should be in plain sight and the torso of the manikin (again covered in blood) should be clearly visible inside the bag. On top of the torso you should arrange the ribs of the pig as if the chainsaw has torn them open. Inside pig offal (try to get heart, kidney and liver - plenty of liver!) will be visible making it look like a murder scene. Blood-covered manikin body parts should be scattered around the the room (use your creativity here) so that they are visible but not easily identified as being plastic. Finally, the coup de gras. Still without speaking, you slowly hand Sharon your blood spattered driving licence and as she screams and looks into your frog-eyes one more time - cant your head again to the right and stare at her. At this point, having made the link between the scene of carnage and the driving licence, Sharon will collapse onto the floor outside your flat thinking you've been brutally murdered. She'll likely assume the foetal position, suck her thumb and rock slowly back and forth in an attempt to take herself to a safe place, finding comfort though familiar sensation. Now you just wait for the emergency services. The mental health team should be straightforward and their arrival signifies at least 28 days of freedom from Sharon. All good. They will obviously question your appearance and the state of your flat, as will the police officer on his arrival, but this is when Otto the director of mediocre, art-house, horror-porn films introduces himself; waving a mocked up cover of his next film - "Kermit. No more Mrs. nice guy". All done. And if after the initial 4 week holiday, Sharon believes you to be dead at the 'hands' of a 5'10", broad-shouldered, green dress-wearing amphibian with a passion for chainsaws, then you may never see her again. It really is that simple. Don't thank me Bearsy, you'd have come up with the same plan yourself soon enough.

A brilliant man - and a fan of James Joyce to boot. But I hadn't realised he had such an interest in language. I'll add that to my reading list. As for accents, I think it can be partially explained by the need some people heave to belong and to not stand out from the crowd. As a result they unconsciously ape their acquaintances and the people that they see regularly. For others, the need to belong isn't as important and they are happy to be 'different' from their surroundings. It's the difference between the "look at me" and "don't look at me" personality types. Social mobility also plays a role too I'm sure.

That's disgusting. If that girl needed the loo she should have gone before she put that dress on.

How many hands is that horse? It's hard to tell from the pictures. BTW In the third picture, what exactly caused the Garda's cap to fly off his head?

I think ITs a reALLy Great ideA [Through powers vested in them by The Party, the thought police have thoughtchanged the content of this web post due to potential thoughtcrime. Big Brother is watching you.]

Completely agree with you Thedelldays. Although he denies it, the facts surely speak for themselves. But I'm not really sure what your point is. Well that's another question and I guess that was the point of this thread. Today, no. But given the rise in British Asian populations, the decline in voter turnout, the levels of disenchantment in politics in general and the power and influence of religious people and institutions, I could see this sort of model being repeated in years to come in other areas.

White, Scottish, Catholic man hoisted in praise by British Asians? Your point is that multiculturalism is alive and well in Bradford West?

I don't think his independent thinking is just a way to get noticed to be honest. Galloway's principles are real enough, but as you say his media-seeking whoredom is also very real. But then again he's a politician and they all love the narcissistic reflection of their exposure in the media. I also think losing a party to represent and having not been able to guarantee an MP salary meant that he has courted the media for income. Big Brother and the cat thing? Well that's another matter. I don't want to sound like a Galloway apologist because much of what he stands for is at odds with my own views, but to dismiss him so lightly is not fair. I remember watching a video of him debating the validity or otherwise of the Iraq war with the late, great, Christopher Hitchens. Most people that went up against Christopher Hitchens in a debate on the middle-east or religion often came away having had a new one ripped for them. To my mind Galloway's position was false but his apparent knowledge of the minutiae of middle-eastern politics and his ability to pressure Hitchens was very impressive. As was his undoubted passion for the struggle of the 'Arab' world against Israel, the US and the UK. If you've got time and you enjoy watching a good debate, Google for the video as it's well worth a watch. He's also married to a Lebanese and a previous marriage was blessed in a Muslim ceremony so these are not decoration. 650 independent thinkers in the House of Commons, each able to make decisions that might go against their party's whip in order to better represent their constituents and their consciences. That'd be no bad thing.

Yeah, been thinking the same thing doddisalegend - just without the erectile dysfunction. But I imagine that as a voter, feeling completely unrepresented in parliament on an issue as singularly important as war must feel worse than knowing that your MP's policies will never become law - especially if you occasionally get to see your independent MP representing your specific views when calling the PM to account at PMQs? Also consider that the choice might be between not voting at all (because none of the candidates represents your views) or voting for an independent. In that way it's not a wasted vote - as the vote wouldn't have been cast without an independent candidate.

Good point (the thread title - not the nervous system). As you say, I suspect it would have been spun that way, but with George Galloway at the centre of the story - it would inevitably end up being about him. My views? Well I agree it's a disastrous result for Labour. But I'm not actually sure that it's that representative given the c.10% lead in national polls (yes I know, I know). To me, it does look like a one-off given the characters involved and the high Muslim population of the ward. That said, it probably does say that Milliband (jnr) is not the right leader for Labour (he wasn't able to energise the voters), and it also tells them that they can no longer rely on immigrant votes simply because they have a marginally more immigrant-friendly image. Given the mess they made of governing us last time, I suspect voters will think hard before placing their mark next to the Labour candidate for some time. Also, given that the incumbent coalition is having to put in place pretty unpopular policies, it makes it more surprising that voters deserted Labour. Labour should be a shoe-in next election once government policies really start to bite, but between our memories and Milliband, they're going to have a problem. This is what made me think about the Independent angle. I posted the other day that 200+ doctors and surgeons had said they would stand as independents and I wondered if it's a trend we might see more of.

No. But you just did. It's OK though, as arbiter of what members can or cannot post on here, I will allow you - just this once. Touch a nerve?

...an indication of things to come? From the Guardian, from the Telegraph - (there's balance for you!). Did gorgeous George win because he's gorgeous George, or does his Respect party have a future? Is there an untapped Muslim vote that a party like Respect can tap into? Can we expect to see other areas turn to independent MPs? Are we all so disillusioned with the 3 main parties that Independent MPs will become more common? Your views?

When then South African government started to use its legal system to protect its tourist industry? Sorry, flippant answer Bridgey, but I found the program very interesting. I'm still not sure where I stand on his guilt or innocence mind.

Lol... You've got it bad trousers - that hair-trigger political point scoring thing you do. Is it genetic? ;-) They're all singularly as bad as each other and there is nothing worse than a politician that promises to be one thing but is found out to be another. That's why I probably have a lesser opinion of Blair and Brown than you do. As these images show; time and events have damaged those two funsters through a litany of embarrassing judgements, gaffs and self-serving nest building. I guess that's why you selected them to illustrate the damage that might have been done to Cameron's credibility come the next election? Good point, well made Sir!

The turnaround certainly shows that the Tories are worried about the public reaction to this. I wonder how those donors named feel about it? I guess they must have realised that it might have come out but for many I guess that showing they have access to power and influence can only be positive. As to the names, well nothing we didn't already expect. But if I were a Labour (or Lib-Dem for that matter) spin doctor come the next election, I think I'd be pointing out that in the list... most, if not all were 50% tax rate payers none was reliant on a state pension one company represented was given a controversial oil deal in Libya one diner had claimed that he'd been given assurances that a financial transaction tax would be vetoed Again, no real news in any of that, and I'm sure the Tories can point to ways in which these donors have been negatively impacted by coalition policy, but it is fuel to the campaigns of the Tories' enemies. Lastly, with the Tories falling over themselves to disclose all this information, experience and massive cynicism suggests to me that there must be more that they want to keep quiet.

Good point Lord Duckhunter. Murdoch illustrating both the power of proper investigative journalism and that revenge is a dish best served cold.