saintbletch

Marsdinho, I can barely type though my outrage and hot-under-the-collarness but let's see how I go. I knew I shouldn't have posted in TMS. I feel like someone who has burst into a room full of psychopaths (no offence TMSers) holding a gun, only for the psychopaths to realise the gun isn't loaded. Anyway, one more try. Yes, you're probably right. That was a little emotive. I guess I was holding up a mirror for you but you chose not to look at it. She's one year past the average life expectancy of sufferers of this disease. I read into that that she is living on borrowed time. I guess that was the point I was badly trying to make. How polite, but no, I guess it's me that needs to explain myself more clearly. The simple visual joke only works because she has this disease. If you'd posted a picture of someone with liver cancer who, as a result, was jaundiced. And you had compared her to the orange-skinned David Dickinson I'd see that in a similar light - mechanically 'funny' but at the expense of a disease. Again, I'd still have no problem with that if that's what melts your butter. Oh, I see what you did there. Very good. So let's see if I can play that word game too - if I could just overcome this outrage first. OK, here goes. So let me get this right. By posting the statement/question above, you're admitting that you were taking the p1ss out of a girl with a terrible disease. Well, I think I just about pulled that off and in doing so put myself back in the playground. But I'm not sure it adds anything to the debate Marsdinho. Again, I believe passionately that you should have the right to make jokes at the expense of 14 year old children who are one year past the average life expectancy of the horrible disease they suffer from. Just have the balls to admit/realise that this is what you're doing.

scotty, I've had a good think about it now and the answer is yes.

Good question scotty. I'll think about that before responding - if that's OK. Did you know there's a 10,000 character limit to posts on here? True. I broke it responding to Deano6 on your "I'm a Dirty Bear" thread. Anyway, I'm off as I've got a new thread for the Site Suggestions forum - I'm never going to get the history of analysis into 10,000 characters.

No you missed my point. Sorry I didn't make it clearer. You certainly don't have to consider my views and nor should you moderate what you post on TMS - on my account or anyone else's, and you haven't offended my fragile disposition at all. The reason I posted was the purely down to post #8 on this thread. I reacted to the hypocrisy of posting a picture of a dying girl and using her looks (which are obviously a symptom of her condition) for humour and then claiming. Once again, as I think I said, I'm fine with you posting the picture - not my cup of tea - but as you've pointed out my views aren't important here. It's the hypocrisy. Now Saint_Jonny said ...that's brutal. But again I can see the mechanics of the humour in there. But in a Frankie Boyle sort of way you've got to respect that he's happy to be associated with a comment like that on the public internet. He hasn't tried to hide from the controversy behind what he's written. More power to him. Consciously or unconsciously you're poking fun at the girl's condition. If she didn't have the condition, she wouldn't look that way and you wouldn't have selected her picture. This, I suspect is why some people on here asked the mods to intervene. Just to be clear, I don't think they should intervene. I think you should be able to post pictures of people with this condition. But I also think that you should man up, or perhaps realise, that to many people you're laughing at a dying 14 year old.

Look, it's not my type of humour Marsinho but I can 'appreciate' the mechanics of it, and as you said this is the Muppet Show. But have the balls to stand by your 'joke'. You picked a picture of a girl with a horrible disease because you thought the comparison to Reeves would show him in a particularly bad light. Her condition is central to making your 'joke' work. You're laughing at her condition. That's fine by me. Well fine, in that outside of law breaking I don't think humour should be coarsely censored - just ignored if it offends. I guess it takes all sorts to make a world. Even people that laugh at 14 year old children that have lived wretched lives and will likely be dead soon.

Oh, we're all so quick to judge aren't we. We've all been there. The old steel troughs were easier to work with than these modern single urinals. Mind you the snorkel was a nice touch - must remember that.

Well I hope you told whoever you enjoyed it with to chew before swallowing.

Fast version or the slow version?

I would think so. But I think Rebekah would be flogging a dead (police) horse by trying to ingratiate herself with the Browns though trousers. No power there any more. Nothing to be gained.

In fact race horse trainer Charlie Brooks, Dave's Eton school chum and husband of Rebakah, has also been arrested. Charlie also trains ex-police horses I believe.

It's OK though as the cheque is already in the post. Surely the award should have gone to the Community for services to PFC? As much as I find what was said amusing, it shouldn't have been posted by anyone with any formal connection to the club. Unless the intention was to anger our friends down the road. What is that journalistic adage? Report the story, don't become part of it and if the spokesman needs a spokesman then you know things aren't right.

Completely agree with all of this. I was very impressed with Will Young actually. I can't remember the detail so if I've got this wrong then apologies Viking Warrior. I think Will Young was not so much intolerant to the different views of others, but he was angered by Cardinal O'Brien's use of the term "Grotesque" to describe the plans to legalise same sex marriage. Still not sure that using that word qualifies it as a 'hate crime' but thought I'd point out the focus of his argument.

Deano6, what can I say? I was starting to worry that people weren't taking this seriously. This wasn't just thrown together you know, a lot of thought went into it. It's good to get your thoughts but I do you have some comments. I'm delighted to see that you didn't modify the 2.37 ITSRAPE scaling factor - you'd have lost all credibility if you had and probably, well almost certainly, wouldn't have been able to walk around the green baize with your begloved hands slung arrogantly behind your back ever again. But to damage the impact of ORGASMOROSCAR just to get some sort of vowel-removed cheap joke in the shape of SQRT(COME), is a little disappointing (if not a little humorous). 2.37 actually comes from personal experience with rohypnol. I can't go into details except to say that it stems from a trip to a Surrey hospital following a badly broken left wrist in a football tournament, a German-Greek doctor and the mother of all Chinese burns. All I know is that I 'came round' with my hand pointing the proper way and my underwear inside-out. It was always going to be 2.37 after that, as I'm sure you'll agree. Anyway, to the Deano6-Bletch-Bearsy SA Index, and your clarifications. As I mentioned in my now seminal (no, you think about it!) post above, maths is not my thing. I see myself more as the visionary that gives all you maths-types the tools to build these nauseatingly interminable equations. You know the phase "standing on the shoulders of giants"? Well you've got a better view this morning because of me. If you look down, that's me below you and Bearsy's there at the bottom, looking like Deppo and waving up at us both like a small child. You are the water-carrying Didier Deschamps to my Cantona-like creative genius just as I'm the Carlton Palmer to Bearsy's original Le Tissier insight. But I do acknowledge that the world needs mathematical pedants and if the equation is broken, it must be fixed. Thanks for your input. 1) MRDROOPY - yep, you've nailed me (no, you think about it) there. Bang to rights. I did actually realise the potential zero result soon after I'd committed it to the ones and zeroes you've commented on. But I thought that if I'd edited my post it would have made me look a little anal (no, you think about it). 2.i) ITSRAPE (overall) - again, you've found another minor error in the work of art. When you walk around an art gallery Deano6 do you check for dust whilst blind to the genius in front of your eyes? 2.ii) ITSRAPE (ignores individual participants) - I agree that it is important to know which participants imbibed the roofie and in what quantity. But if you re-read my post; I think you'll notice that I invited Bearsy to take my work and build on the stem cells of genius to work them into his formula. It is his afterall his formula where he identifies the number, gender and penetratedness of the participants. I can't be expected to do it all Deano6. This is simply too big a task for one man. 2.iii) ITSRAPE (it's rape) - yes. 2.iv) ITSRAPE (encouraging the use of rohypnol) - agreed, but your (1 - ITSRAPE) modifier changes this so that SA is greater when you're not reliant on rendering your, and I don't think it's too strong a term to use, victim unconscious. Rape is abhorrent as well we know. (I like the Roman numeral though - nice touch). 3) POPPERS (sphincter tautness) - oh the naivety of those with an unhealthy interest in numbers (Have you seen A Beautiful Mind Deano6? You're not a secret agent!). Sphincter loosening is one effect but an increase in general sexual pleasure is another. Therefore if POPPERS is non-zero and ORGASMOROSCAR is skewed towards the genuine orgasm, then the impact of the POPPERS in improving the intensity of that genuine orgasm needs to be considered - hence my desire to have POPPERS reduce SA. Your gayness is not germane here. 4) KY - Agreed. 5) ORGASMOROSCAR (ratio reversed) - Oh life must be one big happy party chez Deano6. When you watch the football and someone says "That goal was unbelievable", do you get out a notepad and explain the physics and compute parabolas (I'm not even licensed to use that term)? Re the ratio - you could well be right though. Thanks for checking my sums Deano6 Finally, can I also point out that despite my invitation Deppo, sorry Bearsy did not score his evening with Tuna and Mayo. Perhaps it was the minor flaws identified above that stopped him or perhaps ITSRAPE was non-zero. Now we've had someone with A-level Pedantry and GCSE Maths look at the formula, how about it Bearsy? It's a shame that we now have to highlight puns in our posts by telling people to 'think about it'. Imagine if at the end of the Shadow Line; Tinker, Tailor Soldier, Spy or Twin Peaks the director came on the screen (no, you think about it) to explain the details of the plot.

I'm 44, and my Saints history is complex - but you asked for it. I came to Saints late in life... Born in Gosport. Mum is a Liverpool fan (Liverpool-Irish), Dad was a lapsed Pompey fan. The first game I saw was Liverpool v QPR (2-1) when I was about 8 and as they were quite good at the time, it was their team photos that graced my wall. When I was about 12 I stopped following any particular team and just became a fan of football instead. I think because my Mum and Dad supported different teams it felt right to not side with either of them. As an aside, Mum is Irish catholic, Dad was Northern Irish protestant so I naturally chose a different 'spiritual' path too. Whilst I love the game of football and have played all my life, I managed to avoid following any team in particular for years. In some ways it was fantastic as I could watch a game and enjoy it without worrying what the result meant to my team. But something was obviously missing from my life. I moved to the Southampton area with my first job and worked with a bloke (Vic Mackey of this parish) who, together with his family were ST holders at the Dell. It's all his fault. Over time he brain-washed and indoctrinated me into the ways of Saints. He would seduce me with tales of this player from Guernsey called Le Tissier and I would console him as he'd rant about some bloke called Branfoot. First game was circa 92 when his Dad asked if I wanted to use his ST while he was holiday - can't remember the opponents. I was hooked pretty much after that but after my first away game, which was Wimbledon in the Great Escape season, there was no turning back. Fruitlessly put my name down on the ST waiting list at the Dell then got an ST when St. Mary's opened.

It's a start Bearsy, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but that's such a naive equation. Even if you do manage to build in the relative 'hotness' of the participants, it's still nowhere near accurately describing the Sexual Achievement It's not just about counting the males and females - penetrated or otherwise. There are so many other variables you need to consider to compute Sexual Achievement. I'll start you off with some of the variables. But as maths isn't my thing, I'll leave it to you to add it to your existing equation. ( (MRDROOPY - VIAGRA) x (1 + (2.37 x ITSRAPE) ) / ( 1 + POPPERS ) / ( 1 + KY ) ) * ORGASMOROSCAR MRDROOPY = Flaccidity percentage - The amount of time (as a percentage) of the entire sexual encounter when then penis is sans-sang. 0% MRDROOPY is desirable. VIAGRA = Blue Wood index - The amount of time (as a percentage) over the encounter when penis engorgement was was reliant on the blue pill. If you've 'got wood' solely due to the effects of the blue pill, then this should lower the SA. ITSRAPE = Rohypnol index - The amount in milligrams of Rohypnol required to get any of the participants 'in the mood' POPPERS = Amyl Nitrite index - The number of different nitrites inhaled to relax front or back sphincters. Any inhalant used should reduce SA KY = Lubricant index - The amount of lubricant in imperial gallons required to ensure friction does not result in fire. Natural lubrication should result in a higher SA. ORGASMOROSCAR = Meg Ryan factor (also know as When Bearsy met Mayo) - The ratio of communicated enjoyment to the actual physiological climax. If during coitus, you wonder whether the love-recipient is in fact an award winning thespian, then this should reduce SA. What was your score for the night with Tuna and Mayo? A word to the wise, if ITSRAPE is non-zero, keep the result to yourself.

I think ursinism means the life or practices of a bear, or at least that's what I meant it to mean, and stuff. A threesome? Hmm. I have to confess that I'm not an expert in n-somes. That said, I do have some experience where n=2 (and quite a bit when n=1 as a matter of fact) but not where n>=3. So I could well be wrong, but what you've described owes more to tag-team wrestling than bear sex with two sexual partners at the same time. So for me you've had 2 x 2-somes and not 1 x 3-some. Let's put it this way. Imagine you were "at it" in a WWF match with the two women. Let's say that you, on your own, were one 'team' and that the ladies were another team. Let's call them Tuna and Mayo - we've read below that one's 'fishy' and the other one calls out the name of an emulsified food spread when she reaches her 'crisis'. For completeness let's call your 'team' Bearsy. So now let's imagine that we've got the best referee in WWF history. He's the only one not on the take and whilst others are making pantomime fools of themselves, he alone enforces the rules. He's highly officious and he prides himself that unlike his peers he's never been conned by the old tag-team double-partner trick. You know the one where both wrestlers are able to get at one of their opponents at the same time simply by telling the referee that his laces are undone or some such. Let's call this referee Bletch. And finally, let's imagine that your hotel room is the ring. So now imagine that 'Bletch' is in your hotel room (the ring) watching 'Bearsy' getting it on with 'Tuna and Mayo'... .. . Sorry, lost my train of thought then. Well anyway it's Bletch's job to ensure that you aren't attacked by both Tuna AND Mayo at the same time. And from everything you've described I don't think 'Bletch', even though he is the most officious referee in the history of the WWF, would have to intervene or disqualify Tuna or Mayo. There was no point in that evening where both Tuna and Mayo were in your ring. So I think that's conclusive. And if there is a video - it'll be pay-per-view. Try Googling 'Bearsy-slam'.

I'm confused Bearsy. (no 'e') I thought you told pap that you were, like, an actual bear, and stuff. I'd always seen your treatment by the real men on here as some form of sentimental anthropomorphism, and now you want to be, like, an actual real man, and everything. My advice is that if you want to give up the ursinism (is that a word?) and become a real man, you should stop sh*tting in the woods. Hope this helps.

Some years ago, sitting in the old tin grandstand at Stowe corner at the end of the old Hanger Straight on the old Silverstone circuit layout, a pair of V12 Ferraris came down the straight towards us. As they turned through Stowe corner and away from us, their rear-facing exhausts filled the tin grandstand with the most incredible high-pitched wail of a sound. It was obviously mechanical yet it sounded anything but mechanical. It was so all-consuming that it made you feel nervously scared as if some primordial fight or flight reaction was being triggered. You felt it as well as heard it. Absolutely wonderful.

Appleton couldn't believe just how many fans had actually packed the park. He used his hands to frame the few so that he could better estimate the numbers. "Hmm, 83,", he thought. "a good turn out". But privately he concluded that either the park was much smaller than he had previously thought, or his understanding of the word 'pack' was wrong.

It was covered as a very minor item on the 5 Live 8 o'clock headlines this morning.

I agree in principle Sergei Gotsmanov, but laying the blame solely at the footballers' "feet" would be too simplistic. It's difficult to defend footballers. As a group they are easy to view as amoral. I'm sure they, and perhaps others on here, would point to the fact that their skills are being bought in free market. They'd also probably point to the fact that they only want to be paid the going rate in an industry that creates immense wealth from the live events themselves as well as the sale of TV and media rights domestically and overseas. It's difficult to argue against the 'market' concept because if clubs refused to pay the wages, the would fall. So on that basis some of the blame has to come back to those that run the clubs. And they don't do this in a vacuum, so us fans that push our clubs to invest more and more to chase glory also have to take our share of the 'blame', If I were looking for a causal effect, I'd suggest it is the excesses of the Premier League and the 3 up 3 down mechanism that causes the problem. So we all cancel our Sky subscriptions and in 3-4 years it will work itself out.

Not sure if you're being ironic here because you certainly do 'see' extremist Christians. Take a look at the Pro-Life movement in the US and the killing of doctors that carry out abortions in the name of the Christian God and the warped belief that all life is precious. Some life is obviously more precious than others. For the avoidance of doubt - I think this is an absolutely abhorrent way to treat the graves of the Christian and Jewish dead in Libya. It can't be justified in any way but I can understand why it happened.

The words Sol Campbell and Image Rights should answer that. I think Clark Carlisle did a good job but he looked a little uncomfortable defending tax avoidance by some of his members.

Very good Pancake. It sounds like a Dickens' plot - a tale of retribution and moral justice set against a backdrop of tortured office politics and the male ego. I had a tear in my eye as I was reading it. But how does it end, and what was your boss called? I agree B for me too.

I saw the project as less about the hardware and more a ready made device for learning Basic, C, Python and Perl. I too cut my coding teeth on the BBC Micro. I taught myself Basic and 6502 Assembler, wrote games, moved on to the PC, taught myself 80x86/8088 assembler and C, wrote device level stuff and then a bunch of business software. Then had a lobotomy and went into a career in marketing for years. Oddly enough I just recently taught myself Python and now run Linux (Ubuntu) as my desktop Os of choice. I wouldn't have had a career in high-tech if it hadn't been for the Sinclair and BBC computers. Actually some days I wonder whether that's a good thing! As for Linux being an abstraction from the hardware - you're right. But of course they should be able to download the source and get as close to the hardware as they like..