rallyboy

so you have to trawl through a load of plucky spin to get to the one key sentence... For PST to become the majority shareholder we will need to hold more shares than the collective shareholding of the Presidents. As things stand at present a majority shareholding would cost £1.826M. We believe this can be achieved based on the number of deposits from supporters in the pre share offer. I can't see where the property developers get their vote, or are they just landlords and loan sharks now? What could go wrong.

it might be a rule but it isn't fair to the fans. Why should pompey be penalised twice for the same unfortunate mistake? Chelsea spend more than they earn yet they haven't got -10. And it was former staff who were responsible for those financial irregularities and the CVA, so it's nothing to do with the club, they just committed the crimes in the name of the club, for the benefit of the club - creditors were just unlucky. The plucky Property Development Trust shouldn't be suffering any sanctions - and they certainly shouldn't be responsible for any of the debt incurred buying the FA Cup, such is their desire to distance themselves from past crimes, I doubt whether they will even keep that trophy in the official history. If anything the league should be returning the previous lost points, they should be imposed upon Chanrai's businesses instead. Those leeches from the British Legion are the same - are they still banging on about war and stuff? If they were any good as soldiers they wouldn't have been robbed, so that's their lookout. Same goes for the terminally-ill kids, just because they're in wheelchairs they think they deserve the money donated to them by the public. The Lithuanian pensioners are also gobbing off. That mafia money was needed to pay Rocha, Lawrence and Kitson, those life savings paid for that glorious draw at SMS, it was money well spent. Anyway, how cold can it be in Eastern Europe during the winter? Just put a jumper on and warm yourself with the glory of that point that stopped the scummahs from going up. And as for the player agreements, those former heroes knew what they were getting into, there's always an element of risk dealing with pikeys, so they can just jog on. Yes they had contracts, but we all know that players are disloyal so it'll do them good having a taste of their own medicine - especially Kanu, what did he ever do for pompey, greedy ba$tard. The most important thing is that the property developers and loan sharks are driven out of the club and replaced by property developers and astute businessmen who have the fans' best interests at heart. As Penny mumbled on a recent visit to a sticky bun factory, this will be the first time that a big sleepy giant of a club has ever been controlled by the most heroic fans - so this swift and efficient takeover will be the blueprint for world football to follow. Hurrah for fan power! What's that bulldozer doing....why is that man marking out foundations in the goalmouth?

so despite the denials they ARE running at a massive loss this season, and if their wagebill is as low as has been claimed, how come the expenditure is predicted to be £5M? Also years three and four don't show much room for the £2M+ per annum required to pay off football creditors, and once you've taken debt repayment into account their proposed wagebill works out at approx £1,500 a week per player. Don't see that happening. I would also suggest that the income budget for those two seasons is based on approx 12,000 season tickets, with gates of 18,000. Both theirs and my figures are guesstimates, but the whole business plan looks a little wooly, and that's ignoring the fact that this is clearly NOT a fan buyout. I bet the prospectus throws up some right little gems about how much control the Trust actually has, if it is ever released. The next move is Chinny's - what can AA chuck into the mix?.....other than more autographs. Plenty more Nutjobbery to come. Though if you want to play hunt the Nutjob look no further than whoever put that financial projection together.

I bet they do. In fact, if they don't get a points penalty I'll cough up a fiver! They qualify for two lots, but I fear it will just be the lenient -10. We've heard before how they would get their European place and there would be no transfer embargo etc etc. Tis merely spin aimed at getting the dim to cough up cash.

you have to take your hat off to them, I didn't think it was possible, but this is a significant day, and all parties should congratulate themselves. It's a great day for anyone involved in administration or the legal profession, they are going to make a fortune. Equally, anyone involved in property development, the contractors, estate agents in both residential and commercial - they are all set to do well from this deal. Let's not forget the politicians, they all stood up, offered hollow promises to woo dim voters, and they can now push their way to the front of the photos. This is truly a trailblazing deal. Not a great day for creditors or taxpayers, but that's not news. ....Not that it is 'a deal', it's just a very small step on the long long road towards a deal. All the stumbling blocks remain, I just await the Trust glossing over all the issues listed yesterday, and pretending the points penalty is up for debate. So behind the hype and the spin it's probably just another great day for property developers. I look forward to seeing an analysis of the detail, will the figures stack up?....

So the big day for the Trust is nearly upon us, their chance to thrill us with pioneering plans is here! A year in the making, it's going to be sensational.... Things they will tell us.... It's Trust or bust. Time is of the essence. The property developers are only on board to help them and will barely make a penny. The fans will have control of the club - sort of. Things they will gloss over.... Loan sharks don't go away. The court case over the ground could go on forever. Any promotion in the next five years is a pipedream. Where the extra £6M will come from. The current wages are grossly overbudget. Cup hero Kanu is still claiming an amount that could sink the whole deal on it's own. The figures no longer stack up because Birch is spending their capital. The fans' support has been quite poor, both at the park and in pledges. The club has financial irregularity charges to answer. Tesco don't give a sh1t about them. The points penalty is a basic requirement of golden share ownership. Crimes committed by 'the club' under previous owners were still crimes committed by 'the club.' The chequered history of some parties involved. In their argument the ground value changes between £2M and £10M, depending on whether the Trust is trying to buy it or sell it. Any mention of the property developers taking the FaPPT?... The fact that your average pompey fan would wet the floor if the sign instructed them to, and couldn't pose a relevant question even if it was tattooed on his sister's back, makes you think that the media line tomorrow night will be of glorious battling fan power. A new dawn, pompey trailblazing their way to glorytown - a local club for local people. It's what the people want to hear, so let's feed them frothy sickly spin. Rather than a tale of the clueless and blindly-ambitious hopes of the property developing Trust that has come too far to admit defeat, but has little chance of surviving the financial sh!t storm that they have stepped into. And all this will come from a propsectus that was originally promised around the time that man first crawled from the sea and attempted to develop thumbs. It had better be the bestest prospectus ever, because there are a lot of questions that need answers.

Let me get this clear - the bloke is too young at 21, and he's not good enough for League One football at the packed park because he's come from the little minnows Celtic, the team that beat Barcelona last week? Both Rangers and Celtic are cursed by poor attendances and quiet atmospheres, so presumably running out in front of the best fans in the world was a step too far for his fragile nerves. Maybe he's allergic to empty seats, incest and silence? Or lucky heather brings him out in a rash? Either way the best way to prepare him to try and reach the pinnacle of League One action at the fortress-like cauldron of Fat, is to loan him out - in League One... That's glossing over the whole 'cancelled his contract at Celtic out of his own money' claim. I remember that unlikely scenario being sold as fact during the glorious administration-riddled cup run of 2010, players who didn't cost a penny but paid out £50K to come to pompey - heroes one and all. At least the transfer targets are starting to look like they are in line with the budget - so praise where praise is due. Let's remember that they have only played one game legally in the last few years, the austerity game at Plymouth - they've been insolvent for the rest. Any attempt at returning to that glorious lone night of common sense should be applauded not mocked. So I can only apologise for mocking. I feel partially responsible for the departure of PES, even though he never read my stuff. I feel bad.. Oh, I've got over it already! I can't see us chasing Mack's alter ego away - he's made of sturnerr stuf.

Though lacking in actual managerial skills I think UnAppy displayed some honesty and integrity at times, but you have to think he is quite dense. When a loan shark with record of ripping off all and sundry says he 'might' take on a business with a really small income, and tells you that IF he does take it on there will be a £4.5M budget for wages - what do you do? a. You ask your three-year-old to look at the projected income and they tell you that he's dreaming and there is no way the business could sustain that level of spending. b. You rush out and buy the biggest shiniest thing you can find with no regard for the facts that are punching you in the face. The fact that he actually organised a free holiday for other clubs' signings to do a sunny pre-season just added to the comedy. Especially as 'it didn't cost the club a penny' - but it did shaft a loyal fan who thought he was helping the glorious promotion push.

sorry to touch on the old sensitive subject about the figures not stacking up, but let me get this right.... A property developer who has £3M sat around can either start a new project that could double his money in two or three years, or out of the goodness of his heart he could give a really low interest loan to a football club? In this bizarre scenario the third best outcome for him is that they pay their 'peppercorn' rent and buy the ground back off him, meaning he makes bugger all. The second best outcome is that he has to cough up more for the adjacent land, but gets a piece of the redevelopment action should the Trust stumble across £50M. But the best outcome for him is that they go pop, and he had free rein to develop the site. Doesn't that make it a little dangerous getting into bed with someone who is better off with you liquidated? Are they still pretending that it's a trailblazing fan buyout, the likes of which football has never seen, paving the way for lesser clubs to follow etc? All they seem to be doing is moving the charge from Chanrai to a new loan shark. I'd like to see their definition of 'peppercorn' too. We've been told before that pre-season holidays haven't cost the club a penny, loan players haven't cost a penny, and that the manager on a pittance has the lowest paid squad in the division. All of that was blatant b0ll0cks designed to fool the few - I suspect this new claim of cheap rent and low interest will be similar. There doesn't seem to be much of an incentive for the property developer in the version being spun - so I go for Frank Muir's version....

so many different views of the same incidents! Firstly we all have our own definition of 'diving'. Personally I see a dive as going to ground when there is NO contact, or leaving a trailing leg as you pass a keeper so that you actually instigate the contact - see Bale v Aston Villa the other week, or Pires v pompey. However, if a player is stupid enough to leave a leg sticking out in the box I would rush headlong towards it and be straight over it given the chance - it is not the attacking player's job to stay on his feet if someone is intent on bringing him down. Re yesterday - IMO, Incident One in first half - I was as close as Lord D and I saw it as Adam being fairly outmuscled and not happy - no dive, no pen. incident Two - clumsy and late challenge, some contact made, technically a pen but 50:50 on whether it is given - certainly not a dive. Incident Three - cynical professional foul, clearly a free-kick or a penalty. From my view the defender clearly stepped across him and took him out, I thought the guy was being clever and using the edge of the box for his assault, TV suggests otherwise. Add in the guy putting hands on Clyne from behind in the box and you have one shocking refereeing performance - but not as bad as the bizarre last minute booking in the Everton Sunderland game. So I'm trying not to look at it through red-tinted glasses, and I can understand how if a player chucks himself down when there is no contact it will cost him real penalties, but to use poor judgement by a ref to criticise one of our players seems a little harsh. And the only reason I've bothered to highlight this stuff in detail is because you can be fricking sure that WE will be on the end of a VERY poor penalty decision anytime soon, and life will look pretty unfair. (which it is by the way ) And when that atrocity occurs, polite Nige will have to stand there and take it on the chin, when in reality he will want to scream what the **** are these refs up to??? It does seem that you need the air ambulance to be scrambled before a ref even considers giving us a penalty these days. Do they have some sweepstake running for the season and the winner is the one left who hasn't given Saints a spotkick? That's the obvious explanation...

one of the great myths - there were no financial problems prior to 5pm on the day we won the cup. These laughable claims that everything was fine and dandy and then the lovely child-maiming clan lost money in the recession and had to bale out....it's just delusion in the face of facts. Mandaric bought their way out of the Championship with contracts unsustainable against such a small ground. His reward was the Prem money that could be used to balance the books. This is where the sensible plan stopped - any club that has bought it's way up needs to address those debts and budget accordingly. They didn't balance the books. Instead they went even more overboard on the spending and were running up debt in the build up to 2008. Mandaric saw the writing on the wall but couldn't interest genuine companies in a semi-solvent business, so he sold the club to an arms dealer to be used as a vehicle for 'financial shenanigans.' The arms dealer even misled the football authorities as to ownership (as revealed by Storrie) and made 'good use' of the club accounts. He then fell out with Chanrai and the worms all spilled out of the can - and I'm sure Mr Hall can fill us in on the rest, once he's checked through all the links posted on this thread. And that's why the cup win was illegal. The club was not owned by those that were on the deeds, and the great insolvency train had already left the station. For Cotterill or Appleton to moan about their 'jobs changing' is exposing them as naive. UnAppy was approached by people linked to organised crime and offered a job. One click on Google would have told him they were linked to money-laundering and denied entry to the UK banking system because of criminal links and through misleading UK authorities. He chose to work for them knowing it could go pear-shaped - it went pear-shaped. Difficult to complain later and expect sympathy. So yes, he did have a difficult job, but it was the one he signed up for. And no, he didn't do tremendously well against all odds, he did quite poorly. Don't believe the hype.

that's a casino.

yeah, I'll be getting that bloke to do maths for me. Portsmyth, home of the pub simpleton who writes deluded stories for the even dimmer. Tell us the one about the dock strike and the SS tank commander again. Birch sounding rather negative. These cutbacks could involve redundancies but PKF could not put a figure on how many people could lose their jobs, nor a timescale of when the redundancies could be made. The News understands potential lengthy and costly court action over the valuation of Fratton Park with Portpin could be a factor in the need to trim back the budget. Does that mean he doesn't have enough money to cover a legal battle so he has to save cash - or will he try and delay the action until the next PP is in and give that directly to his lawyers? Either way the money needed to run the club next season is evaporating faster than support for a statue of Jimmy Savile. Trev is only worried about short term, the Trust needs to look at the bigger picture and they can see their future capital being spent every day. And this is what some of the few don't get, Trev's fees and the crazy wages being paid are wrecking the future. Any fan who thinks it's great to outbid other clubs had better not moan next year when they run out of cash - Appy and Birch spent it on Howard and you all cheered, you idiots. If redundancies are needed then surely a massive clear out of players is the first step? People earning £4k-£5k a week who are not really needed? Let's see if Trev is serious about cost cutting, or as suspected has actually gone native and now believes that he is one of the bestest and most passionate administrators in the world, and the way to prove that to the east is by trading insolvently. If this case re the ground goes ahead there are several possible outcomes. 1. Birch loses and the club and PFK have a HUGE problem, and no progress has been made. The Trust bid would be dead. 2. Birch wins and Chinny walks, the Trust has to stumble ahead, underfunded and ill-prepared. 3. Birch wins and nothing changes because Chinny doesn't really bother to respect things like the law, he would make it very difficult for the Trust, which cannot afford to move forward anyway. It would be a massive gamble to chuck hundreds of thousands at this case, especially as Portpin have already sown seeds to support their claim. But the Trust's legal team say we have a really good case you Nutjob! Yes they do, mainly because they want you to proceed and give them lots of money. It's as if the financial and legal people gathered around the corpse are more interested in their own businesses than saving the poor thing. Fatcat Birch should halve his fees, those greedy creditors should write off the last .4% - their cash is needed to buy success. How are they getting on with that £13M that pours into the city for EVERY home game? Fantasy Island.

well that has livened things up a bit, Appy not only bales out but has a pop at the Trust as he goes - bit naughty, but quite telling. And The News lets slip - the wage of Appleton, believed to be more than £200,000 a year – a high level for League One. So, they WERE paying over the top for a manager, and Talksport is reporting as fact that someone is on £8K a week - amounts suspected by Nutjobs but always denied by the few. This was spun as the bloke on a pittance bringing in players that didn't cost the club a penny. I do hope that the fans haven't been told fibs all this time. With Birch suggesting that he will now save wages rather than take on an external appointment AND that Tweet earlier mentioning the dreaded L word, has the BDO takeover come at an unfortunate time for the good ship pompey? Following our Dubai correspondent's teasing report, could we guess that any troublesome outstanding business needs wrapping up if you want to complete a smooth takeover? Difficult to buy a business if you don't know what you are getting, especially if one of the firm's administrators has gone a little bit native and is incurring vets bills for nail-clipping rather than executing the sick dog with a spade. Perhaps there is mounting pressure from above for Trev to sort it one way or the other? It will be interesting to see what happens when the monthly contracts are due for renewal, I wouldn't be surprised at a clearout. Then again nothing surprises me in Fatpipe City anymore, so they might just take on even more wages. But there is change in the air, it does start to feel like crunch time is around the corner....again.

Trousers has sussed me out so I may as well come clean, especially as I could do with some help - does anyone have experience of writing a prospectus? I said I'd do this one a while back but it's more complicated than I realised, they want loads of stats and stuff, but they don't like the comedy bits I keep adding. I've plucked fantasy figures out of the air and made up all the budgets and projections and they seem more than happy with that approach, but it just doesn't look very impressive. I believe that it's only aimed at a small group of easily-led individuals so I'll put a big picture of a puppy or a kitten on the cover, but it just has no substance. Also the editorial team has recently changed the agenda and are very touchy about any mention of property development. Any ideas on how it could look more workable? Usual client approach, they've had a couple of years to put this together but only now is it urgent.

look at your watches, we are at a very delicate time now.... Currently Appless is a loyal hero because he has achieved an amazing amount. He has kept the club together and done a better job than anyone else could have done in the crisis he stepped into. While scummahs mocked his record, he rose above it, he even laid on a free holiday for random players. They had a points penalty to overcome and while mere mortals would have surrendered to the pressure, the eyebrowless coaching god took it in his stride and ushered his battling troops down a division withous a fuss, or a fight. Since that relegation he has stood firm and turned Fatpipes into a packed fortress, it's only the inability of refs to cope with pressure that has let them down. He has already spent next years money and assembled a squad that any Dockyard League club would envy. So at 6pm tonight he is the mighty blue army's heroic leader, the man who will stand shoulder-to-shoulder with them against the world, they write folk songs about him....a statue beckons. Give it an hour and see if he has miraculously become a filthy judas - a villain who has abandoned them for a smaller club, but more of a sacking than a resignation because he had lost the dressing room - boo, nasty Michael! They don't need him anyway, offloading him just opens the door for one of the big names to come in and awake the sleepiest giant that the world of fairytales has ever been. So hold tight my Nutobs friends, the tugs are moving into position, the blue spin machine is about to perform the pluckiest of U-turns - it's Cotterill all over again, they haven't all spotted that he's useless until he leaves. Cue hilarious Nige to Fratton myths emerging from Portsea pubs - I give that one another hour.

So it looks like PKF have bigger fish to fry at the moment. No doubt the cash cow of pompey will be one of their great assets. Appleton denies any approach from Blackpool, while their chairman says he has got his man.... Either he is appointing someone else, or UnAppy is telling fibs. ‘I try to keep my own focus and, on Monday, when I was hearing all these stories I basically took myself away and gave myself a little bit of time to be on my own and focus on the game. Perhaps he took himself away to a service station on the M6 and happened to run into officials from Blackpool, but has since forgotten about it? 'No comment on speculation' would have sufficed. It's rumoured that he only got the West Brom job because of an insurance mistake, and he only got the pompey job because they were desperate. The stats show that he has done quite a poor job but if the rumours are true, he is now being offered a lifeline. If he turns down a pay rise and the opportunity to work at a club near to home where you don't have to take in your own toilet rolls, then the man is an idiot. A poor coach he may be, but he isn't stupid. And if he goes, where does that leave he 51% fan-owned Property-Developing Trust?* With a nice blank canvas! Clear out the overpriced deadwood, set a sensible budget, recall the youngsters. That approach might lead to League Two, but they would have a fresh start and the chance to trade solvently like proper businesses do.....until the property developers turn out to be more interested in the property than bankrolling three promotion pushes...then I guess we'll be asked to offer sympathy again to the poor fans who have fully supported this dangerous course of action. Show me a club that has benefited from detaching the ground from the rest of the business and I'll get you a signed copy of Avram's Lonely Planet guide to UK brothels when it launches at Waterstone's flagship lap dancing book bar. *we can take it for granted that Portpin have been seen off. It's just one simple legal case that will be sorted within the next six weeks and then it's plain sailing! And I thought we had problems. At least we don't pretend to be the Galatasary of the south. To follow their lead I guess we need to be ignoring the league table and calling SMS a fortress. Hopefully the ref for the Swansea game doesn't freeze at such a big occasion etc...

I'm not sure that Birch is in the strongest bargaining position. He can now offload UnAppy's meagre wage and leave a more capable coach like Whittingham in charge - but pushing his luck with cash demands could scupper any deal. From Blackpool's point of view they just seem to want someone cheap who will live nearby - any footballing qualifications beyond that will be a bonus. If pompey do get some cash from Blackpool you have to take your hat off to them. They might not have a clue in the transfer market or an understanding of basic maths, but when it comes to selling really poor managers there is no one to rival them. Getting money for Cotterill was bizarre, the best deal they've done since they stuck two fingers in the taxman's face. And what becomes of the heroes if Appy departs? Blackpool won't pay the money for the likes of Howard so he won't be able to rip the heart out of the battling squad. The West Brom favours will stop, and IF any new owners come in they can have a complete clear out with no manager fighting against the budgetary constraints that should be in place. Meanwhile the Trust and Portpin mutter under their breath about Trevor's fees. The fees that were agreed ages ago and tick along nicely everyday. And all the time they drag out moaning about them, the fees gently rise and soak up the money needed for next season, if there is a next season. IMO the only thing keeping them competitive is Birch allowing Appy to pay over the odds. If he leaves, the squad could dismantle, thus leaving them staring down the barrel of League Two. Meanwhile, when is Phil going to spill the beans on our next conspiracy theory, and more importantly, why is he wearing a pompey tie in his latest PR shot?...

In defence of PES, if I'd handed over hard-earned season ticket money and it was used by the manager to **** prossies, or I'd donated to a charity and the club had stolen the cash from dying kids, then I'd be looking for a swift change of subject too. pompey, the club that stole from the taxman, just as a drop in tax revenue closed a vital cancer ward at QA. pompey, the club that laundered money stolen from pensioners. pompey, the club that used money made from maiming children to buy a cup, and didn't even pay their captain. pompey, the club that shat on veterans and kept money belonging to the British Legion. No capital letter for that shower of sh!t, they have no shame. And on the other side we have Saints, the club that is regularly outclassed in the Premier League, overcharges for parking, treats programme sellers badly and makes Lawrie McMenemy pay for his tickets. Yeah, we are just the same. Highlighting our obvious issues is just a distraction, the myths that follow are hilarious, all thrown out there to distract from their own car crash in waiting. So how's the property developing Trust getting on? Not quite the cast of Ben Hur is it? I see no money, nor prospectus.....just a handful of well-intentioned but terminally-naive men huddled in a pub corner with no budget and no workable plan, too ashamed to admit that they are clueless and have got into bed with property developers in a desperate effort to try and see off their last loan shark. Hopefully they can hang onto in demand Appleton, the coaching genius that has taken them back to their roots, has spent next year's CVA money, and has linked himself with every bus out of town. The plucky bestest few deserve him. Then again if he does abandon ship I guess the ridiculous wages he has paid out on a pile of crap won't be his problem. Just like Cotterilll and Grant before, he can leg it and leave them to sort out the mess - still a hero. Start a clean phoenix club if you have a shred of dignity.

Fans are just being conned into this fairytale version of the future because their cash is needed. Once again the dim are being taken advantage of, but if they won't ask the awkward questions then they bring it upon themselves. Wakey wakey Portsea! - just admit that this ongoing Trust nonesense is no longer a fan buyout, it's clearly become a property deal. Call me sharp, but the clue for me was when I saw that the main money was being put in by property developers. It's just a hunch, but I suspect that as property developers they might be interested in developing the property... And when I say 'ongoing', is anything actually going on? I've seen glaciers carve valleys faster than the Trust takeover has progressed, Birchy could have converted dinosaurs into unleaded before he completes this deal, new universes have formed and distant suns have imploded since his last three deadlines came and went - and still the Trust claims they are less than four weeks from seeing off Portpin and taking sole ownership. Some of them actually believe that they will be walking up Frogmore Road with the keys before the end of the month... And they wonder why we mock. I still have a small secret hope that we can stay up this season, but I wouldn't vocalise it for fear of being ridiculed. Then again the whole city seems to be happiest when living in a cliched soap opera, and this current plotline about the loyal bestest owning the plucky club is good for ratings. Shambolic potless consortium resorts to desperate fundraising methods in an effort to emulate bigger clubs like Exeter is less attractive as a tagline on the cover of the prospectus. As for UnAppy... A future England manager? The man who has turned their fortunes around like no one else could and is heralded as a hero by many of the few? Or perhaps a bloke who cannot judge and motivate players, cares little for youth, has no understanding of budgets and doesn't care what company he keeps? He's even sent his eyebrows out on loan. Would I want him near a team that I supported? I'd rather go for a night out with Lee Barnard and Liam Lawrence - with Scott Allan as the designated driver. Meanwhile Birch needs to get his act together, his lack of action has brought this thread to it's knees. Since Ho's street cred sank with no survivors, Nutjobs cannot survive on Appy's post-match madness alone, we need financial chaos as well. Come on, we need a laugh - maybe he could organise another free training camp/holiday? Get Cotterill to do the flights and Avram to arrange leisure time.

poor plucky pompey will battle on, despite being barely able to muster a squad of underpaid strangers, they'll put up a heroic fight in the face of adversity, roared on by the famous blue army. While the loyal manager gives 110% - despite being wanted by clubs up and down the land. Meanwhile the finishing touches are being added to the greatest fan buyout of all time - with no property developers involved whatsoever. Tis the stuff of fairytales.

sorry I've not been around, I've been in demand. When I say in demand I mean that there were several massive jobs up for grabs and I was headhunted for all of them. That's the sort of headhunting where they interview lots of other people, and you cover your shattered pride by making out that you didn't want the job that you were not offered. It's all part of the hero/villain thing - keep up. Or perhaps I've just been stranded using a steam-driven laptop that is reliant on the ability of wheezy hamsters to run the internet connection while my computer is purged of Avram Grant jokes. A situation that doesn't lend itself to lengthy rants - but fear not Nutjobs, should I not be offered that monthly deal extension on POL, I shall be back. Meanwhile I'm standing in for Ho on their site while he's at the Kidderminster toy fair, calling myself Frattoniser..... So, I hear that Cortese has interviewed Redknapp, the training ground has been scrapped, and Lambert has already signed for Everton on a free because Nige didn't sign the contract properly - and Ramirez has got rabies, it's all been hushed up. The taxman hasn't been paid by Saints since 2009 and the pompey Trust has already agreed terms with Chanrai who has taken £500K for the ground. So there.

Bump? - what sort of bump? Do you mean.... 1. The noise of the Trust coming back down to earth when they finally grasp the figures? 2. The sound of a prossie's arse banging against the outside of a skip, paid for by season ticket money? 3. The noise made by a mythical cheque from pompey landing on a charity's desk? 4. Ho's laptop slamming shut when he was found out as a fantasist? 5. Appleton's job application landing on a doormat in Burnley? 6. Tumbleweed colliding with one of 7,000 empty seats at a vital pack-the-park fixture? 7. Kanu's legal claim dropping into the middle of the Trust takeover negotiations? 8. The sound of a club dropping back into the relegation zone after buying their way into mid-table? 9. A lump in the ground behind The Fatpipe Rd End where all unpaid bills have been buried and forgotten? 10. The first indication Joe Cala gets when a cruise ship collides with his underwater Saab dealership?

what a depressing day - we might not have a team right now but at least we still have a fanbase. 13,051 for the Property Developing Trust's big party? Perhaps the few can see the way it's going and have abandoned ship. I can't face Appy's massive plucky quotes yet as I'm going out, think I'll save that entertainment for tomorrow.

is that just a mad press release - or a vital little piece of Chanrai's grand jigsaw? Look at exhibit C your honour, a piece of A4 that states that on 4/9/12 a consortium offered $20M for the ground (and 10p for the CVA) - Mr Birch chose to decline that offer, but it clearly values the ground at way in excess of the £2.75M offered.... Everything happens for a reason.