rallyboy

Shane Meadows is the man, and he has worked with, and introduced some great British actors. If you like sugary, feel-good, rom-com chick flicks with no plot - avoid his work, it will be beyond you. Well worth revisitng the whole This is England collection.

that photo of the director's box looks like the ugliest boy band in history - or have ALL of the Spice Girls flown to Lesbos this year? I can see Sharky Spice, Pervy Spice and Embezzler Spice - where is the cheeky buxom Spice Cream Vendor in his little skimpy top.....and no reunion would be the same without Arms Dealing Spice. Get up and dance kids - if I haven't blown your fricking legs off. What a bunch. Who would have thought it could go wrong?

just to put this into context, there'll be a time when Rickie will get selected less and one day, he'll leave. Then he might return to SMS with another team.... And when he does, there will be people on here who will boo him because he left us. When that happens, I'll be the one turning round with that look that says, 'you are a fricking moron with the memory of a goldfish and the football knowledge of a traffic cone'... I hope I'm not going to spend next season practicing that look in defence of Bale, Walcott, Surman and one or two others. Booing people who've upset us is great, I love abusing players as much as anyone, but lets be selective - after all I wouldn't want to run out of blind frothing-at-the-mouth hatred before Redknapp came to town.

Chanrai takes over and organises a party to celebrate. All players 'misbehave' at said event and are sacked en masse for gross misconduct. The torn up contracts would look like Buenos Aires in 1978. Chanrai and AA could then dance a little jig on the club grave - with the child-maimer clapping along.

likely scenario based on past history? pompey go to the league meeting with another fantasy financial forecast similar to the ridiculous document they presented in the high court, and on the back of made-up figures/imaginary takeovers, are granted permission to play in 2012/13. Before the season even starts their obvious insolvency becomes so blatant that the football authorities have to shepherd them through another season. We nutjobs get irate and self-righteous, and ask how this can happen, while more charities kiss goodbye to their money. The rest of the football shakes it's head, and some journalists say its a shame that plucky old pompey has suffered hard times. The mad cycle of debt and theft continues, but lesser teams will be cheated so football will be able to ignore it even more.

it's a great effort to try and reclaim your club's filthy name from crooks. But it will require more bravery to accept, and have to admit, that the Trust plan is underfunded, unrealistic, and destined to fail. Looks like the loan shark is the only game in town - so roll up, roll up, it's Chinny Time again! Lock up your charity boxes, creditors run for the hills, if it ain't nailed down or owned by a child-maimer, he'll have it away quicker than a lead-hunting pikey on a church roof. But even then he'll need Birch to get shot of those wages, so whatever happens, they need a proper firesale first. Unless of course Chanrai is looking to bring in his man AA to pull some dodgy stunt with player contracts or a semi-liquidation that retains some sort of golden share? It shouldn't be possible to avoid FL regulations about contracts and debt, but I can see AA entering stage left and taking a starring role again. The ToyMan was SO close with his predictions about Requilme and Etu - because whatever happens next is likely to be messy...

liquidation wipes out what remains of the parachute payments so Chanrai needs to protect himself, he wants to pull the strings. So the 'good news' is......Chanrai will be trying to sell people a season ticket next month - if Birch can get rid of some wages. That's not a light at the end of a tunnel - it's just a tunnel.

and their hotels are all fully booked up with squirrel-munching, bicycle-riding West Brom reserve players. Also Gunwharf will only be any good for the first year, by next summer the compulsory purchase of the dockyard and harbour front will have started and foundations for the Harbourdome will be going in. The only hope would be that Cala could accomodate all the Boat Show stands inside one of his undersea casinos, maybe Mr Clive or the Saab dealership could sell exhibition space too. It might work.

funny how Appy seems to be favourite for the West Brom job. Wasn't he on about 4% before the newspaper poll was hi-jacked? West Brom fans must be bemused - asking their mates and struggling to find anyone who wants him. What can we vote on next? Shall we force Greece to stay in the Euro, just for a laugh?

it's really boring when they just sit there going slowly but steadily bankrupt. I miss Avram with his big serious grave-digger face, funny speeches, and his wayward genitals' club-financed outings. And Cotterill was funny too, always saying they were the better side - and charity begins at home Lampitt - the quality over quantity duo! What became of Storrie mush....and AA signing autographs - and all the hilarious claims they used to make about the future - those funny little things that used to spill out of their naughty mouths when they opened them. I also miss the woman on the mobility scooter, I believe she ran over one of the car park owner's finest, and just like Cardiff, she probably lost both legs. They've become a boring nothing club - even the media have moved on. pompey is the club that time forgot, and then everyone else did too. Come on Birchy, we demand to be entertained!

The club might be dead on its feet but the spin continues. Michael Appleton told the clubs circling his Pompey assets: Put your money where your mouth is. Appy, you battling heroic general at the helm of Fortress Fratton the fat-riddled ToiletBowl - you aren't in the position to pressure anyone, so shut it and pray that your big derby against Crawley will still go ahead. Appleton has warned those looking to land a bargain that they risk losing out unless they move quickly. Yeah, that's likley to create a queue in the child-maimer's car park. The Fratton fire sale is heating up No it isn't. One player leaving, doesn't quite equate to 'heating up'. If Carlsberg did football PR they would probably be the pluckiest bestest supported battling heroic club in the world. But all that stuff glosses over the criminality quite nicely.

I'm sure insolvent trading is also a football offence within the regulations, yet I see no penalty. Anyway, go on, buy the club for a quid - what could possibly go wrong? As we keep hearing, Chanrai can go do one, he'll have to wave goodbye to his cash, and the CVA will be a piece of p!ss - and of course there's £16M crisp Premier League notes just pouring into the coffers anyday now. Read the small print, it would be a disaster for anyone who took on the current situation. The Trust money would run out by August. Season ticket sales might carry them into October. Then it'll be another Christmas in administration for the few. Same old predictable debacle that anyone with half a brain cell would avoid. Small income minus BIG wages still = administration. Firesale plus cheap squad = relegation. They need Underwater Casino + Harbourdome + World Cup funding + Minted lunatic + parachute money - 1p in the £ CVA x plumbing fat + forgetful and caring arms dealer and loan shark - points penalties.

when you step away from the 1247 pages and look at this in the cold light of day, it's absolutely fricking disgusting. How any business could be allowed to do this is beyond me. And as for the cast of characters who sanctioned it over the last few years.....they should hang their heads in shame, as should any fans who ignored the obvious - but that's not all of them. How do you sleep knowing that you have just taken charity money and used it to pay Ben Haim, or booked a mini-break to Gibraltar? And that's not the worse bit. They couldn't pay the British Legion or the Rainbow Centre, but they could pay for extra signings to come down from West Brom and Derby - and they weren't dining on fricking squirrels, they had their greedy snouts in the Holiday Inn trough. All of which was clearly an attempt to gain a sporting advantage through theft from charities. The club has become a festering wart on the ar$e of football, no wonder the FL and FA are trying to pretend it hasn't happened. Again.

and there's a pompey fan on there blaming The News! - for telling people that his beloved club has raped charities again. Would he rather that was kept secret? Pretty feeble apology from Lampitt too - deflects the blame for this atrocity to his staff. That isn't news to the nutjobs on here, but you can understand why the likes of Ho have found it too uncomfortable to defend the club anymore. There must still be other clubs' fans who don't realise that pompey haven't paid a penny of debt from their cup runs, and have shafted their own community a second time in two years. Any other business wouild have been liquidated months ago - come on Birchy, press that button....halt the madness, for everyone's sake.

The return of the failed loanees has properly damaged them and every Trust plan seems to rely on Chanrai having a caring side...and that my nutjob friends is why they are up sh!t creek without a boat. A ruthless loan shark suddenly realises he needs to care less about money and spend more time helping people who have ripped him off and abused him? Doesn't look like a way forward, sounds like a West End musical plot so sickly that even the cultural anti-christ Lloyd Webber would be too ashamed to vocalise it. As for the football creditor rule, if that is overturned in law, presumably the football authorities will just come up with massive sanctions for failing to pay football debts? Failing to honour a player contract - minus 10pts? Missing a transfer payment - minus 20pts? It is their game, and as we discovered, they can do what they want. And I'm not sure that West Ham will have the strength to overcome the standard minus 9 if they pull that administration stunt - and Sheffield Utd will be likely to mention to the authorities that they are about to be bankrupted by another club. I don't think a change of ruling on football creditors will offer much freedom, it will just assist the likes of HMRC not to be sidelined. I can't see it being an easy escape route for debt-riddled clubs.

so another player is likely to return tomorrow with his tail between his legs - that Hoseclip bloke who went to Birmingham and gobbed off, giving it large about putting us in our place. That must be another £15K a week to find - every little helps! Play-offs couldn't have gone much worse for Birch.

pompey are beyond a joke club but Blackburn are coming up fast on the rails. Or should that be off the rails? They are looking at bankruptcy and a further relegation - when they miss their first wage or tax bill no doubt the authorities will come down on them as heavy as they did with the likes of Luton. Meanwhile West Ham still have their date with destiny, and if it's against Birmingham they'll both need an administrator sat on the bench at Wembley - that would be winner takes all, losers goes bankrupt. Most important that we retain our new status and keep the books under control for a year or two, it could be carnage all around us - hopefully we got out little 'hiccup' out of the way early doors and beat the rush. How's that Trust takeover shaping up?

the fans have been fantastic, packed the park, didn't boo Kitson and Varney, didn't get arrested at Coventry - some clubs they went to this season even said it was the most annoying noise ever made by 150 people, and even though there were so few of them, it was always nice to see them go home. Doncaster even wrote them a letter and said you might have been presented with three points by a dodgy ref but we'll still see you next season - and please keep up the transfer policy, it makes our bonkers attempt at staying up look sensible. The bestest really have stepped up to the plate, creating an intimidating atmosphere at fortress fratton that terrified the likes of Derby and Millwall, shook them to their core, they were so scared they could barely get back on their coach after easy victories - they still have nightmares about rows of empty blue seats and rather fatty showers. And when Saints went there it was like Galatasary against Boca Juniors - the noise in the arena was deafening, Foxy looked well petrified when a cross-eyed ten year old threw the ball away from him, and he didn't even know what the time was as Stage One of the ground development hadn't been completed. He was so intimidated he just ran away, like scummers do, all the way to the Premier League. And the few wouldn't boo like Blackburn fans did, no, they are the most respected fanbase in the country, in a slightly patronising and sarcastic media-cartoon sort of way... The self-proclaimed bestest are legends in their own lunchtimes - they weren't even frightened when their special buses had dog walkers look at them in a nasty way. They just stood proud, shoulder-to-shoulder, behind Appy's battling troops who gave their all in the relegation fight. They stood defiant, as they did on that homo-erotic poster, they were relegated as one. And the fundraising proves their strength in both quality and quantity, putting their money where there toothless mouths are. Giving it all that for five years, and the 250,000 celebrating a glorious 1-0 victory against a midtable bankrupt Championship side, no wonder the fans want to take control. So it came to the crunch and they had to show their support in hard cash. Now, the dismal but predictable failure of the Trust scheme could be laughed at by cruel people who've had to suffer several years of arrogant boasting from people who give themselves awards for their own support, as the amount doesn't even cover a third of one player's wages - but let's look on the bright side. If they want to raise about £10M to put the club back on it's feet I'm sure there's some flexibility with the deadline of three weeks, they really need to be raising approx £400,000 a day now. The bestest are currently generating £1,800 a day - and even ToyBoy might admit that that represents a small shortfall. Chanrai might not be the answer but AA can help, he can massage a few debts, mislead a court or two, move a few decimal points and Bingo! - the Trust will be right on track.

I suspect Bournemouth won't be getting their £50K just yet - another little chunk off the parachutes, chipping away at the possibility of future stability. The ignorance of their plight among some is still staggering. Some people think they still have £16M to come, and are complaining about Birch selling players on the cheap? What part of pompey could be liquidated at any point now don't you understand?? It wasn't just a bad dream, that was your season, mush.

there can be no doubt that their wagebill is going up faster than the pledges of investment to the Trust. The business has become even more insolvent in the last few days. Just need Henderson deal to fall through and their entire transfer policy will officially qualify as a debacle. I see no firesale.....no firesale, means no new owner of any sort.

Blackburn fans packed the park for a big match - no chance of pompey fans doing that. The few are way too busy trying to keep up with sorting the thousands of applications for Trust membership. Thankfully Ticket Office Manager Liam Lawrence is back tomorrow to get on top of the backlog - and to claim his astronomical wages that will once again cripple the business. Fair play to him, steered Cardiff away from the top two and still manages to do damage to pompey. He must be looking forward to playing at Crawley.

enough is enough Birchy, pull the shutters down - if you have any heart put them out of their misery as this bumbling carcass no longer has quality of life.

sell Pearce in January for a million, or accept half of that while paying him a further £200K in wages, and not change the outcome of the season in any way? That mistake, or the plucky battling hero's refusal to abandon his wages cost pompey about £700K in four months. Birch's decision making is coming over all Peter Storrie. Which is funnily enough very similar to what a gurning Uncle Avram did on a memorable club outing to Horton Heath - paid for by sponsors.... At least they now have a few hundred grand to redirect to creditors, how much of that income will sort out the British Legion? It won't cover Ben Haim through the summer. Appy claims we are not a joke club. The fact that you have to say that, confirms that you are.

one of the Gosport wards had a turnout of 13% last night. If people won't go out and vote for free, and they won't pay £25 to pack the park, how are you going to get 70 people to pledge £1000 everyday for a fortnight? The Trust is becoming a bit of a distraction, a Plan B perhaps, but I can't see that they are actually assisting Plan A, people think they are the answer, they aren't. Chanrai must be the only game in town, and he's going to split the remains of the few, and I can't see why he would spend anymore money. If Birch doesn't strip out all of the high earners, I can't see why Chanrai would dive back in. But I have found a positive in West Ham's win last night... Lawrence will be back on Tuesday! The cost of paying him until August would wipe out a third of the Trust's current warchest. I reckon the figures might be starting to stack up. Then again I am off my face on a cocktail of horse tranquilisers and tomato feed and really shouldn't be operating heavy machinery, let alone doing due diligence with the intention of chucking £10M down a big black hole.

we've heard all the funded by sponsors stuff before. Last time the accounts later showed large hotel and travel costs for the US holiday so Birch will have find some cash from somewhere to make that happen. I just admire their optimism, planning for beyond next week. As for making it to July - It's good to have a dream. I wonder how the 1,000 pledges in 14 days is going - the only things moving slower must be due diligence by new owners, the sale of Ben Haim, and glaciation.