rallyboy

the league must have so many basket case clubs under their jurisdiction that pompey is just the most disturbed nutter in a busy asylum. I can't see them getting chucked out....unless Birch goes to the meeting and actually admits that it's over, that the club is insolvent and that there is no funding - I think it would have to be a suicide rather than an execution. He's more likely to talk about deals in pipelines and vague offers of finance - that should be enough for the league to give them free rein to do whatever they want. In the cold light of day we have to accept that the league have to let them carry on if there is any indication that they can complete the season. Experience indicates that a few muttered half-promises from a loan shark with an appalling track record will satisfy them. Presumably Birch has one eye fixed firmly on the Parachute Payments, they are the only way he can avoid being responsible for the current losses. If their dwindling attraction can keep the club 'solvent' for a few months and he can offload to Chanrai then he's happy and can walk away. The club survives, Birch escapes, Chinny does his thing, the money runs out, they limp on, everyone's appy.

this is the big week, a few days left to convince the FL that the club is viable and has any future. Deals MUST be done, players offloaded, funding secured, realistic financial forecasts set in stone. Birch has a massive job to pull all that together before facing the FL - he must be jetsetting between meetings with Chanrai and the Trust, while constantly fielding transfer negotiation calls. Yet....I get the impression that he's sat in his garden reading a book, and if the clock that used to tick was still working, it would be deafening right now. And the few who keep telling us they are the passionate and most bestest the world has ever seen and smelt, seem to be sitting quietly, watching it all slip away without a whimper.... Why so quiet?

latest rumour is that the Minghella family have put up half a million. Their lolly will cover the wages for a fortnight then - can't see that sending a ripple through Chinny's world. If true, I guess the Trust must now have pledges of £2M tops. They're going to have to pitch a pretty spectacular script to impress the FL. Truly, Madly, Pikey.

are you bedwetting nutjobs still banging on about pompey? I've got about six pompey fans living within 50metres of me and I didn't mind hearing their arrogant deluded sh1t for the last seven years, so why should you people?...they laughed at us and told me they were going to dominate football for years and Saints were finished - so what, it's not like I need to revisit those conversations and have a war crimes tribunal and shoot some prisoners. The last thing I would want to do is seek vengeance on those that thought it was hilarious when we hit rock bottom. Those minus 10 in Scumland tee-shirts, they still make me chuckle now...and those Nazi stories - great banter, happy days. And as well as this thread, stop singing songs about them, it isn't like they abused Ted's memory in front of his family, made up myths about our owner, or chucked coins from the South Stand at fortress fratton. The club they worshipped hasn't tipped terminally-ill kids out of wheelchairs and shaken coins out of their pockets, they've just been unlucky - they haven't taken money out of the poppy appeal, ripped cash from veteran's fingers and given it to heroic plucky players on £50K a week - that would be bonkers. And I don't mind being insulted by toothless, sister-bothering, sticky-fingered crackhead pikeys just because of my Saints shirt - so why are you all obsessed? Some of you nutters act like their club has deliberately misled the courts and football authorities to gain a sporting advantage. I'd understand this thread dragging on if they'd stolen money from taxpayers and used it to drive their hero manager to Horton Heath so he could **** prostitutes - but they have just been unfortunate vicitms. It was the world recession you know - so let it go, you toast-eating nutjobs. They've managed to keep their loyal playing squad together, they have a new owner ready to complete - looking at that great set-up they must be favourites to get out of League One at the first attempt. This story is over! - I can't see any potential for future comedy at their expense, so let's just shut the thread.

it's very clear that whatever happens in the HMRC court case, the FL and FA will make sure that every football creditor gets every penny. That could be done through hefty penalties for non-compliance, or pompey's debt returning to original levels. If the authorities didn't tackle a law change, half the clubs in the league would go into admin by lunchtime and the market would collapse. You could buy Messi for £100M, put down a tenner and ignore the payments. If the court sensibly says that football creditors shouldn't have first shout, the football authorities will act, and if you have to pay everyone the same rate it might be small creditors that benefit rather than football clubs losing out. A new ruling is not the answer to their many problems. Nor is the Trust. Surprised it's so quiet as they are heading for oblivion - only the naivety of the league approving a fantasy financial forecast is going to save them.

Nice trip down memory lane, you forget how long this sitcom has been running - how's the thread book going? Was it Crab who volunteered for that, shouldn't take too long to edit?.... Just when I thought Barbie Boy only spouted insane gibberish that a deluded simpleton chimp would lap up, I have to admit, he was half right on one thing. two supermarket chains want to be involved, one to build a new store on the current Fratton Park site and the other one to build one adjacent to the new stadium. That should certainly help finance the new stadium. I can't believe ToyMan was that thick, he was on a wind-up wasn't he? You couldn't work in any business and believe the stuff he used to post. He'll be back, you just know it, and he's got months of delusion and the boring frustration of relegation, failure, arrogant inaccurate predictions, and too many toy fairs welling up inside him, he needs to let off steam - it'll be spectacular when he does return. I hope it's as funny as previous efforts - Messi this, billionaire that - there's a limit to how many Avram Grant prostitute gags I can do - I need new material. Maybe I should meet up socially every couple of weeks with the son of the kitman, he was sharp too....then again he should be with his old man on about £150K a year. Its a fantasy world over there. Keep the laughs coming, we have a boring summer to fill.

the Trust assured a meeting that the FL will bend over backwards to help the club survive, 'the FL are not in the business of seeing members go to the wall'... We are still to see how far they will go to help. Sporting sanctions cannot be be dependant on the state of the business - if offences have been committed, punishment will follow. I'd like to think that the days of AA threatening a court or football authority that if they aren't let off they will go pop, are behind us. A modest points penalty wouldn't financially damage the business to a great extent - unless they intend to build a promotion bonfire out of creditors' corpses. Mounting another spending spree on the foundations of theft from charity and small business wouldn't look good. I'm sure all those tax office jobs are safe - have they made the connection yet? That must have been a fun day at HMRC - where shall we close an office?.....mmmm, let's see.... It maybe time for plucky little bestest pompey to shut up, keep a low profile, and accept that settling in League One is better than getting treated as other clubs have been. And if they do start wittering on about a level playing field again, the FL should present them with the P!sstaking Club of the Year - and the accompanying minus 35pts.

Joey is right, as long as you have the magical signature of Storrie or Lampitt you will get every penny - at some point. Presumably Birch will now be dishing out the never-never coupons and when the PPs run out it'll be down to one of the football authorities to fund the implosion. Guesstimate time again - Parachute payments were down to about half of the £14M via creditors and advances. Deferred wages must have been running at £300K a month. So the wagebill alone could wipe out the initial £14M completely by about October. Based on 5,000 season tickets and 12K gates I reckon Chinny could take about £3M on the door before Christmas. Chuck in £1M in TV and sponsorship and he could have £4M. Over the same period he has £8M in wages to pay. Presuming he uses the PPs to pay them he could have a £2M profit by Christmas. But January will be a whole different ball game....the losses pop up again - it's a season of two halves! So if he wants to sell, at the end of the year he could disguise the business to look nearly profitable, just gloss over debt repayments due - if the club is up the top of the table as well he might find a greater fool. Sleeping giant, making money, Championship riches around the corner... Though a points penalty would drive a bus through that plan. If he doesn't sell (rent!) lets guess he offloads some players in January and reduces the wagebill a bit. By June 2013 I reckon he would be running at a hefty loss AND out of external funding. Without him putting in more money they can't start 2013/14. All these guesses assume the debt will be left untouched. Two things have remained constant through 1260 pages. The only answer is fresh investment, not loans. The figures don't stack up. And the biggest factor of all, whether it is the Trust of Chinny trying to save a terminally insolvent business - every player must go, or take a massive paycut. Without that change there is no future. I cannot see how Birch will take on any players with the accounts in this state. Likely scenario? League buys their vague business plan next week and says Carry on Regardless. Admin III coming to a cinema near you - and remember to do the polite thing and look surprised when it happens.

nice one Sussex - though the development has blossomed since you saw the intitial proposal... The future is the 70,000 seater World Cup venue Harbourdome sitting atop the underwater Jungle Book-themed casino and Cluster Bomb factory outlet. Also beneath the waters of the reclaimed harbour we have the National Incest Museum, a Mr Clive, the official club brothel, and the world's biggest non-land-based Saab dealership, with in-house car finance by Brett de Bank. The arena itself has Lucky Mick's Heather and Horsebrass Emporium, the Al Fahim skimpy leisurewear and ice cream franchise, and the players' Kentucky Fried Squirrel bar, all within the concourse. All the retail contracts are being handled by Micky Fialka and his mother - the financial plan has been vaguely drafted by Storrie, Cotterill, Lampitt, Rosie and AA. Main funding comes from Portsmouth City Council using taxpayer's cash to buy a bit of land and give it the the club to sell to Tesco for no apparent reason - a deal the council will do privately, and of course Terry the builder and his mate will knock up the stadium, before voting for their invoice to be ignored, twice. The nominated local charity for the project is still to be chosen, but any funding shortfall will be officially stolen from them on completion.

Michael Appleton has lifted the lid on his surprise decision to let both Ricardo Rocha and Jamie Ashdown leave Fratton Park. Surprise? The club is BROKE! EVERYONE HAS TO GO! A surprise would be paying a fricking bill! Just been reading the comments and even after two years of chaos, the depth of stupidity down East is disturbing. Don't let Ashdown go, give him a pay rise! Futacs is going to rip up League One apparently, no doubt he'll be the plucky hero that fires them to glory at Fortress Fratton....cos that division is a piece of p1ss to walk out of, we all discovered that.... They did fall short of mentioning Michael Owen pulling on the few blue, but so many people still don't get it, and they can't all be posters from here because I'd notice the little clues! .....mainly references to Barbie, toys, bestest etc. One forward thinker has even announced that the figures don't really add up and wonders why anyone would buy them... No sh!t! Welcome to the our world, a bit late, but good you could make it. And the fight for the club future is going to go down to the wire - which technically means it won't be sorted until the end of the sorting process. That's generally how the world works. I'm getting impatient with them again, it must be the heat.

are we debating whether the creditors would like to sell their houses for a pound, or for £2? I'm not sure the precise amount matters much anymore, it's the thought that counts... Especially when AA's definition of 'less expenses' could literally, and legally, mean anything. Surely it must have finally dawned on even the thickest creditors that they voted for a shafting last time? Don't want to sound too smug but flippin eck, we did tell them. No one is surprised, and they won't be when CVA2 fails miserably too. It's as predictable as Englebert Humperdink getting mauled by bitter European judging panels who still haven't got over the empire - and he'll have to sit there and look cheerful. Scandalous way to treat a man who has produced a lot of music for lifts. But some creditors just can't be helped, they won't listen, they'll vote yes again. You can take Avram to Horton Heath but you can't make him........test drive a reasonably-priced second-hand commercial vehicle.

Balu....'bare necessities'....very subtle. I think my fave was the South African Hans Zindertill. We weren't even sure if Cala was made up, especially when he presented his business plan. I miss Joe and his casinos - did he ever go to the stock exchange and float?

recalling how every pre-season they steal money from creditors to have a summer holiday and claim it's been sponsored even though the accounts clearly indicate otherwise, it's nice to have some honesty from Appy. A couple of local businesses have sponsored it. The club will chip in as well, although I know money is a bit scarce. So the trip is costing money, while his final point has been nominated for sporting understatement of the decade. It's up against some fierce competition though - we have Uncle's I quite like prossiesand storrieteller's there is a slight shortfall between income and outgoings. Harry's entry with moneywise I may have left one or two clubs in a bit of a pickle was excluded as the entry form seemed to have been filled in by a dog.

no, just resting - tis a sleeping giant you know with much more potential than before. same here Billy, I must know half a dozen skates and none have joined the Trust, one of them who is a season ticket holder didn't even know about the plan... Then again they are a bit like Man Utd* with a 250K hardcore fanbase within the city and millions worldwide, so we only know a very small percentage. That's why Ben Haim gets £15K a week in image rights, its rare to see a BBC news bulletin from around the world without some kid in the background wearing a pompey shirt, that's why we will forever live in their shadow. *in the latest official survey of attendances and international merchandising done by a toothless bloke in a caravan on the football pitch behind Tesco Express Allaway Avenue during a Jeremy Kyle ad break, the statistics clearly confirmed that Man Utd were 2nd bestest in the world.

close. Trousers can take a hint. Re CVA2, my guess is still that if CVA1 creditors vote to be violently raped a second time then CVA1 technically hasn't failed, it has merely been adjusted and approved - no penalty, and my fiver is safe. I suspect AA might vote in favour of Chanrai on behalf of CSI! We did have news of Ben Haim's additional image rights before from Birch but it was never really confirmed - and the taxman is still interested in that aspect of under the counter pay anyway. So with NI he must be costing them about £235K a month - the equivalent of a 14 man League One squad. They need to sell 10,000 season tickets just to pay him. When statues are carved and folk songs are written, he alone will have done more damage to pompey than anyone else. I do hope he hangs around a bit longer, he's cost about £4,000 already - today!

hey Paradise, thanks for the thought, guess I really ought to motivate myself and cough up that fiver. I'm sure I could train myself not to waste too much of my life on here...whoops, too late. As for being ITK Glasgow, thanks for the attack for no reason - you only missed out if you didn't take the hint - I was at a meeting... Another reminder to not get too involved with a lot of what goes on at the main board. This thread is a little like an exclusive club for the sharp and the mildly bitter to rip into pompey, to behave badly, and to highlight the criminality that the dirty club has so far got away with - those that don't get it or find that the financial stuff makes their heads hurt might be happier doing scratch cards in bulk, watching Eastenders, or listening to Sing by Gary Barlow. I never claim 'look at me, I'm got a secret' - I just pointed out to some of the guys who I get on with, that they might be surprised to know where I had been, and also that I recently stumbled across one or two interesting little snippets that would be unprofessional to broadcast on a public forum. I'll pay the fiver soon so we can organise a PTS Nutjob gathering at some point soon - there's a whole host of people I'd like to meet. Hopefully that advance warning will help the Mods with financial planning into the new season. In fact, I promise to cough up a fiver the day that the league imposes a points penalty for the failed CVA....

thanks Trousers, that is quite a bit of material, sorry I couldn't get on it earlier, I was out......at 'a meeting'..... If you were able to PM me I have some right old little gems up my sleeve which I wouldn't post directly - nothing world-shattering, but quite funny.

Shane Meadows is the man, and he has worked with, and introduced some great British actors. If you like sugary, feel-good, rom-com chick flicks with no plot - avoid his work, it will be beyond you. Well worth revisitng the whole This is England collection.

that photo of the director's box looks like the ugliest boy band in history - or have ALL of the Spice Girls flown to Lesbos this year? I can see Sharky Spice, Pervy Spice and Embezzler Spice - where is the cheeky buxom Spice Cream Vendor in his little skimpy top.....and no reunion would be the same without Arms Dealing Spice. Get up and dance kids - if I haven't blown your fricking legs off. What a bunch. Who would have thought it could go wrong?

just to put this into context, there'll be a time when Rickie will get selected less and one day, he'll leave. Then he might return to SMS with another team.... And when he does, there will be people on here who will boo him because he left us. When that happens, I'll be the one turning round with that look that says, 'you are a fricking moron with the memory of a goldfish and the football knowledge of a traffic cone'... I hope I'm not going to spend next season practicing that look in defence of Bale, Walcott, Surman and one or two others. Booing people who've upset us is great, I love abusing players as much as anyone, but lets be selective - after all I wouldn't want to run out of blind frothing-at-the-mouth hatred before Redknapp came to town.

Chanrai takes over and organises a party to celebrate. All players 'misbehave' at said event and are sacked en masse for gross misconduct. The torn up contracts would look like Buenos Aires in 1978. Chanrai and AA could then dance a little jig on the club grave - with the child-maimer clapping along.

likely scenario based on past history? pompey go to the league meeting with another fantasy financial forecast similar to the ridiculous document they presented in the high court, and on the back of made-up figures/imaginary takeovers, are granted permission to play in 2012/13. Before the season even starts their obvious insolvency becomes so blatant that the football authorities have to shepherd them through another season. We nutjobs get irate and self-righteous, and ask how this can happen, while more charities kiss goodbye to their money. The rest of the football shakes it's head, and some journalists say its a shame that plucky old pompey has suffered hard times. The mad cycle of debt and theft continues, but lesser teams will be cheated so football will be able to ignore it even more.

it's a great effort to try and reclaim your club's filthy name from crooks. But it will require more bravery to accept, and have to admit, that the Trust plan is underfunded, unrealistic, and destined to fail. Looks like the loan shark is the only game in town - so roll up, roll up, it's Chinny Time again! Lock up your charity boxes, creditors run for the hills, if it ain't nailed down or owned by a child-maimer, he'll have it away quicker than a lead-hunting pikey on a church roof. But even then he'll need Birch to get shot of those wages, so whatever happens, they need a proper firesale first. Unless of course Chanrai is looking to bring in his man AA to pull some dodgy stunt with player contracts or a semi-liquidation that retains some sort of golden share? It shouldn't be possible to avoid FL regulations about contracts and debt, but I can see AA entering stage left and taking a starring role again. The ToyMan was SO close with his predictions about Requilme and Etu - because whatever happens next is likely to be messy...

liquidation wipes out what remains of the parachute payments so Chanrai needs to protect himself, he wants to pull the strings. So the 'good news' is......Chanrai will be trying to sell people a season ticket next month - if Birch can get rid of some wages. That's not a light at the end of a tunnel - it's just a tunnel.

and their hotels are all fully booked up with squirrel-munching, bicycle-riding West Brom reserve players. Also Gunwharf will only be any good for the first year, by next summer the compulsory purchase of the dockyard and harbour front will have started and foundations for the Harbourdome will be going in. The only hope would be that Cala could accomodate all the Boat Show stands inside one of his undersea casinos, maybe Mr Clive or the Saab dealership could sell exhibition space too. It might work.