rallyboy

How glorious would your team have to be to gamble the whole future? Would you take a Champions League final victory over Barcelona with a 50-50 chance of liquidation? Would a single Premier League title be worth the risk? Or would you see your club liquidated in return for a forgettable 1-0 win over a bankrupt mid-table Championship side in a fading cup competition? I thought the arms dealer's payment would signal the CVA starting correctly but if Birch says there are other payments he can't make then it's a heap of trouble. Failing to exit with a CVA is a massive points penalty, failing to honour one must be the same surely? That would immediately relegate them. Anyone want to buy an insolvently-trading League One club with £100M+ of debt? But if cashflow is that poor it's irrelevant - they won't finish the season. Is their final act going to be dodging a St Marys humiliation? Unlike some I don't specifically wish to see them liquidated, BUT I'd just like them to pay the price for cheating - and the seriousness of the sentence has been in their own hands for two years. Had they behaved post-admin they would be okay, but they chose to gamble EVERYTHING. Difficult to be sympathetic in those circumstances. In fact the more they talk of shafting the creditors, the less sympathetic I feel. They just flick the Vs at every opportunity, judgement day will come. And as PaulS points out, looks like the club is about to step on the financial equivalent of one of Gaydamak's finest - BOOM! Is that Gaydamak the cup-financing hero, or Gaydamak the bloke responsible for all woes? - I forget which one we have to pretend he is. Lucky things only went wrong the day AFTER the cup final, or that would look like it was cheating all along.

haha - silly Phil got accused by Ho of getting stuff wrong! A little bit like Avram calling you a pervert....or Lampitt laughing at your cashflow forecast. Harry criticising your handwriting and honesty. Cotterill saying you need to accept reality. Al Fahim asking you for a choc ice and telling you your shirt is too small. Appy asking what happened to your eyebrows. Cala saying your ideas are fanciful. Lawrence and Kitson shouting 'greedy' at you. Storrie accusing you of reckless spending. Gaydamak calling you a warmonger. Antonov questioning your ethics. Al Faraj suggesting you up your public profile. Ben Haim saying you should give value for money. Andronikou questioning your conflict of interests. TCWTB saying you look ridiculous. Yes you did read it correctly, Ho accused someone of getting stuff wrong.

Huseklepp talks the talk....but he don't walk. The big fans’ favourite also promised the Fratton faithful he is aiming to halt local rivals Southampton’s bid to make the Premier League, having swapped a relegation dogfight for a promotion chase. He was given a cameo appearance from the bench against Nottingham Forest on Saturday. The Norwegian international failed to score on his debut. But he is hoping he can still put a smile on the faces of Pompey fans over the rest of the season. ‘I have a new challenge and I have to focus on that but I can still help Portsmouth against teams at the bottom. ‘And I really hope to push Southampton out of second place' commented the lanky overpriced whale-murdering mercenary, shortly after failing miserably to either defeat Forest to help pompey, or to push Saints out of 2nd.

not enough of pompey's debt is 'football' so a change won't help them too much. In general terms, if HMRC win their case it will just mean Fifa and UK football authorities will have to introduce further sporting sanctions. As we've seen with pompey, they don't have to pay the football debt if they don't want to - it just means they wouldn't get the golden share, so the FL etc always have some sort of hold beyond UK law - remember our inability to appeal deductions. A new rule might be that failure to pay football debts in full = two division relegation? Failure to pay a European club would mean a ban from European competition next time they qualify, etc. That would make clubs look at what would cost them more. If West Ham knew they could write off a shedload but would start life in League Two next season it might look less attractive. Despite the FL and FA looking toothless of late I can't see them permitting consequence-free administrations - and Fifa won't let them. Say what you want about Mr Cortese but his forward planning re the academy status and his declared aim for the club to be self-funding is a blueprint for all to follow. And when Ho starts quoting pub myths about us missing tax payments and our spending being out of control - we could have broken the bank to secure Hooper in Jan but we didn't. It was obvious he had his price even if Celtic didn't, rightly so IMO, we didn't go there. While we did pay to get out of League One, our business model looks to me to be sound, at the moment. Unfortunately for other clubs, they needed to start this type of business plan a year or two back - that ship has sailed, and anyone who took on stupid longterm wages and ignored debt is likely to sink. And that brings us back to the good ship pompey, sailing into a Cala casino near you sometime soon.

good luck with that Crab, could be your great legacy, the project that fills the rest of your days...get Phil to edit, he has a way of saying things succinctly. To the point. Without dragging it out. Or over-engineering it. I'd be aware though that you just need another managerial visit to a brothel, or Ho reappearing to tell us about great new minted investors and you'll never keep up with the new pages rolling in. The train wreck is ploughing on - as is the social commentary of it. And as you skip through the 1129 pages, do feel free to pick out the bit where we guesstimated their running losses and came up with the same figure that Birch has mentioned. I recall that we were pretty accurate on that £8M a year figure? Seem to remember being called a nutjob for saying it at the time, but it sounds like 'at least £500K a month' was a good guess. Makes you wonder though, if we could accurately identify the club ownership and debt issues on here just by googling, studying and guessing, how could directors at pompey stand by and watch it all happen? And how could those few on pompey boards who Ho assures us have ALWAYS been several weeks ahead of us investigating, not highlight those issues, and address them? Two mysteries for the price of one! - buy one, get the second one paid for by West Brom.

good news breaking for the few. Liam Lawrence has said he's not looking to get away on loan... Hooray for the glorious hero, bring on the marching band, fire up the open top bus! In fact he says he is going to hang onto his hefty contract until they prise it from his greedy fingers, draining every last penny that Lampitt agreed to give him. As one of the senior pub thugs in the dressing room I presume he's speaking for all the battling £15K a week plus band when he says that they are all standing together, and looking forward to gathering all that cash. So the brave rallying cry is go pack the park*, because without your money there's a millionaire out there tonight who might not be able to buy shiny tat. With the signing of another player who is known to police, Appy's dressing room is looking more like a remand centre than a place of sporting excellence. They must have been gutted to lose out on Marlon King - he would have been the sex pest gem in their little criminal crown. *if the park is more than half full we'll all pretend that Fortess Fratton was 'packed' - it fits the media agenda.

you have to admire the cheek of the bloke. Methinks uncle Peter is trying to rebuild his public image by pretending he didn't do half the stuff he did, and thinks that if he keeps saying stuff it actually becomes a fact. Also, if you keep pointing at HMRC and shouting a bit, people might not notice you trousering win bonuses. No Pete me old mucker, you gave out ridiculous contracts, crazy image rights deals, discussed confidential pompey salaries with the manager of Spurs, welcomed a potless Arab or two with open arms, and you were the main driving force behind the three year train crash that is still hobbling along. But if you want to go on telly and look innocent, well, good luck with that plan. You'll always be a legend in Southampton.

a little present for all those pompey fans who still think a fan's buyout is realistic. . There you go, it's a little dot. You can use it to abruptly end sentences like, that's the last we'll see of Chanrai. Or, those extra 3,000 people will really make a difference. And just like the 30 year old Paulsgrove woman with extended family, this is called grammar. This little dot can be utilised throughout grammar - but it's urgent use in this case is as a decimal point. When you look at those debts and think , 'we only need to raise a few quid between us' - well, that's the time to get your decimal point and put it in the correct place. It'll be scary, but time well spent. Because you'll then realise that a few fans chipping in to save the club would be like trying to drain the Solent using a leaky thimble. On a very rainy day.

I'm surprised Mr Birch needs ANY additional money as this was discussed at court. They wouldn't have dodged liquidation without explaining how administration was going to be funded... Did their figures not quite stack up after all? I blame other people, they should sue someone, it's not fair. I bet there's a leaked email about banks getting together and being nasty to them as well. Any sign of the underwater leather sale consortium? The kitman's son who I see socially every few weeks, tells me that they are minted, we are talking billions from Kuwait, or somewhere else in that part of China, the Mr Clive Harbourdome will be just the start.

the skate who told me this seems clued up and genuine. 1126 pages in and that's the first time I've seen those words in that order. If Birch needs a million plus put on the table he needs one of Howe's minted mates to cough it up. Trouble is you want some guarantees for that sort of amount, and no guarantee can be offered - nor can it be seen as a deposit for a slightly-troubled business that can be turned round. The best person to cough up that sort of money without too many questions is a loan shark - or someone with dirty cash to clean. And that's the cul-de-sac they've driven up. In financial terms this is called being in a little bit of a pickle.

so the FL is mainly worried about being able to support their actions in court. That might explain why they are being very careful about imposing penalties. Pity they didn't have that attitude when legally Southampton FC didn't go into, and has never been in administration, even though morally a penalty was due. A bit late to get picky about the rules, what was wrong with the making it up as they went along approach? I still don't see how the league is to blame if you don't do correct due diligence yourself. They have the power to veto any decision you make, their role isnt to approve buyers. The club made the decision to get into bed with crooks - fully supported by the fans and the CEO. If you can't do the time, don't moan and blame others when the blatantly predictable occurs. As for the official referees' email to remind them about the plan to deny pompey penalties etc....

yeah two of their injured players chucked their crutches down when Billy Graham came in the dressing room at half time. so Liam Lawrence's Pack my Wallet campaign turned into a bit of a damp squib then... That pocket of muddy children that stayed behind looks about the same size as last time - described by some media as several thousand strong. Might sound a silly question but what exactly are they staying behind for? What is the point? Surely you give the team better support by doing it before the loyal heroes tip your cash into their boot and drive home to London. This is just people who don't want to go home - understandable, but they have to - there's hedgehog for tea, and those sisters don't impregnate themselves. Oh well, another lesson learned by Birch, you only sell out when a big club comes to town and people pay to see them. Been a funny sort of week to the east. Made me laugh anyway, even if Sour Mash doesn't quite get it yet and wants this thread closed. Chill SM, don't visit if it upsets you. The equation that simplifies it. They are our rivals + They heaped abuse on us + They are having a nightmare = (funny x 100)

‘Just stick with us. We are in this together – us and the supporters – make no bones about that.’ Muttered £20K-a-week, injury-prone and underperforming midfielder Lawrence, as he bottled a passer-by for looking funny at his Ferrari, before rubbing salt in the wounds of a recently-sacked office worker by taking their job as part of a feeble PR stunt. 'It's always someone else's fault', he continued rather predictably, 'and as long as I can blur the connection between my ridiculous salary and the club's financial problems then all is good' the pub thug said, before stealing lunch money from a small child en route to a short promo video shoot in a prison cell where he is being held on charges of brand marketing copyright theft from a Mr Cortese. Yeah, all in it together - the battling troops Lawrence, Kitson, Ben Haim....but not Mildred from the office who had to go to save £200 a week, she can jog on! All united, as one. Cut the spin, it's boring.

from my understanding of what Antonov said, if he isn't jailed he is happy to write off the CSI debt, for a return to part ownership of the business. So yes, a trust has to find millions of pounds to invest, and their reward is to go into partnership with the russians.... And they also have to see off Chanrai and AA.... So the likely outcome if a fan trust managed to raise £5M (lot of sponsored caravan washes) is a consortium with the last two owners still pulling the strings - and the child-maimer circling like a vulture. Good business plan. A supporter's buyout just ain't gonna happen without mega-rich fans - and they are few and far between. I don't think many of them have spotted where the decimal point is yet - and in fact if there is a point.

as far as a new buyer goes, I'm just starting to think that perhaps the figures might not stack up. That looks like a lot of cash needed in the first year of ownership, even if Chanrai and CVA1 take a hit. And let's not confuse wage cuts with deferred - two very different things. The players are guaranteed their dirty cash, they had no choice in the matter of delaying it, and it was the greedy three that pushed them over the edge, so let's drop all the 'our heroic lads showing the pompey spirit' b0ll0x that I've seen in The News comments. And I've seen Lawrence trying to pass a ball eight yards so I wouldn't trust him to sit the correct way on a toilet, if they had one, let alone operate a ticket office. Can't see that getting footballers involved in admin work is a shrewd move. The ship is sinking yet the battling troops at Fortress Fratton spin continues, and when there isn't enough of that let's just make something up about Saints. Yeah we are really teetering on the brink mate, it could go either way.... We really need to stop giving asylum seekers and kiddie fiddlers all those free tickets, but it's the only way we can fill the ground. More myths from the supporters who couldn't Pack a fricking suitcase. Is the Omnibot2000 the one with real chrome and a surprised look on its cyber face?

It's gonna be that Cher classic methinks... Vlad the Embezzler isn't even offering to give the stolen money away, he wants to convert it into equity should Mr Birch manage to save the business. So my pompey friends, I help bigtime, play up the team! Pack the arena! and if this new bloke manages to offload some of the other debts, count me back in! If I'm not in jail There's nowt as generous as those who make a living through organised crime. Accept maybe loan sharks, and their little puppet helpers who keep back £200K for expenses.

chance - following a bare knuckle period of consultation you've won the marketing rights to sell lucky heather and official matchday horse brass outside the ground, cram your eight children into the front seats of the untaxed transit and proceed to an illegal dog fight on an industrial estate to celebrate. community chest - an old man near you has a missing roof tile, help yourself to £30,000 from his account. general note - ignore the rules and other players, just put your little hat on whatever square you fancy.

not seen any official line about parachute payments, another skate myth methinks - they've become so confused their making them up about themselves now. So the situation is quite bad? No **** Conan Doyle, what a bombshell that is. hold the front page...or perhaps read the front page of this thread and it's probably made clear on there. Pity that Lampitt's gone but the damage he did continues to hamper the club moving forward. All well and good Packing the Park, and I was gently mocked for suggesting they might get 18/19K but I reckon they will now that Chanrai has moved one seat to the left, but the money that would raise won't touch the sides. Extra 5,000 x 6 games = 30,000. With kids etc that's about £500K. So a near sell out Fratton for six games will raise enough extra income to pay the wages and tax for ONE week. As for a pompey trust buyout, surely the reality that Birch has tried to educate them with tonight has ended that as a going concern. If the Prem do really say no more money it's over the same day, and even Chanrai would chuck it in - but I don't think they have said that. Go on, prove me wrong on that, it would be proper game over.... He has to defer wages to continue, personally I'd like him to dismantle the squad that was criminally assembled - then we'd be getting somewhere towards justice. I think I can see justice on the horizon, but we're not there yet.

Band on the Run might be more apt.

so the rewritten CVA may not now be massive crunch time but I still reckon finding £1.2M for the child-maimer in 40 days will stretch them a little! Though by then Ho will have written that off, explained away the minor clerical errors that led to pompey becoming the laughing stock of world football, and cancelled the whole CVA. And of course found the deeds that shows that SMS belongs to the council, or the Triad, or whoever fits the myth.... Has anyone ever posted so many false claims on one thread?? More importantly, where is Lord Lampitt? Surely he hasn't murdered the nanny and fled to Namibia? I bet they find his Ford Corsair at Newhaven.... Hopefully Birch does retain low-key Lampitt to advise him on finance as he is the worst organiser of a budget since Storrie ploughed all of Rosie's savings into underwater casinos. She thought that was a proper shafting until Avram visited Harry, came in the kitchen and saw her down on all fours lapping up Chum, wiggling that pretty little Bulldog tail at him.... And when I say Avram came in the kitchen, in his defence his long-suffering missus did ask him to splash out on a new cooker.* Anyway, enough of much-celebrated Fratton legends who drained the club of cash while ushering them away from the big TV money forever, all performed with his trousers around his boney ankles, how's the new lad enjoying his first managerial job, is he turning into Cotterill yet? Other people's fault, whole world against us, life's not fair...? He must be nearly there, harsh refs, down to bare bones.... What do you have to do to be disliked down there? The damage done by Storrie, Grant, Cotterill etc and the glory boys of 2008 has left them where they are today - Kanu is still ripping them off everyday but they love The King. Yeah he's the King alright, the King of MASSIVE wages for minimal playing time, he can't run because his wheelbarrow of cash is too heavy and it's doing his back in. The same as Lawrence, won't cough up £400 to look at his own injury, but more than happy to trouser £3,000 EVERY DAY for dressing up like a footballer - and still they chant his name... The few are very forgiving - I thought that when I saw their cheery faces welcoming their rivals at Fratton the other month. I look forward to returning those feelings in April, if they make it. *same gag, 7th version.

if Hacker owes pompey any money the only way they'll see that is if they can prise it out of Chanrai's cold dead fingers. AA still has a starring role to play here, what with his challenge, and any other mischief he gets up to - and he will. And when they say Feb's wages are to be paid, that'll be ten days of it, and it's going to players instead of tackling debts, thus annoying the taxman a little bit more. Putting the little issue of work-for-free January aside, Birch will do well to eke out the money for one month to cover four. His main aim must be to defer player's salaries - they simply can't get to the summer paying those wages, and they certainly can't bank on massive advance season ticket sales. They really need to Pack the Park - and there is no Chanrai excuse now, the club really needs their cash so I expect to see some 18/19K gates. But such is the insanity down there that those extra 4000 punters a fortnight will barely cover one player's wages. Birch also knows that he has CVA1 looming like a freight train - that'll be crunch time. April could be a big month for them. Or us.

AA's autograph must be worth a few quid now, is Birch releasing any signed photos? Any challenge must delay proceedings and if it's one thing pompey ain't got it's time. And money. Morals. A future. Don't feel guilty G, just try and come up with something else to do once this thread goes pop. Is Birch a local one man band, or has he got two or tree branches elsewhere?

yeah Gemmel, you and me can go to that meeting and read them our favourite gags off this forum....that would go down as well as a scabby crack addict in Avram's Fiat Panda. Funny email I've had this afternoon from the other side, someone trying to explain that they weren't breaking the rules as I suggested, apparently they've committed so much criminality that it's outside the league's jurisdiction so poor old pompey are in fact having to write the rules for them! So there! I wonder how admin boy is getting on, that must be a hell of a first day at work - 'what's that big bonfire?', 'why's the shredder seized up?', 'come out from behind the filling cabinet Mr Andronikou, we can all see you....and give the keys back...' AA and Chanrai must have an attack planned soon, you don't shrug off a loan shark that easily. They might be getting away with it a little bit but it's still entertaining.

in the last week there's definitely been a change to the usual media love-in with the plucky bestest club. National journalists Rod Liddle, Jim Holden, Steve Claridge and now the Guardian have all reported the situation as it really is, some even mentioning 'cheating' - add in the Barnsley reaction to the game, the Orient statement about the 'penalty' and reactions on other fan boards, and the tide has definitely turned. Welcome to our world. This change of attitude must make us on here look less like nutjobs and more like pioneering thinkers....and the next time someone starts on about the passionate fans and poor old pompey the rest of the press box may give them odd sideways glances. Those myths have been exposed. 236 to go.

nice link Si, some good predictions there, and some people saying the thread should have closed back then as the Russians had arrived to save the day! The worrying thing is the thread is just as funny reading it back again - that means you could go back to the start and have a good laugh even though you know what's coming up, and in some cases, because you know what's coming up! Anyway, new week, more hilarity - let's see if Lampitt makes it to Wednesday - and what the administrator has up his sleeve. As long as it isn't more signings then it should be another good week - and of course AA will be mounting his great challenge, and explaining away that last minute impulse bribe that Chanrai dangled in front of the court....