rallyboy

play the kids!, they screamed from the deserted Fatpipe End And down on the hallowed turf, goalscorer and pompey reject Ritchie could only gasp at the irony of the lockable stable door concept being suggested - long after the horse has not only bolted, but lived a long and happy life, sired grandchildren, retired to the country, passed away peacefully, and been consumed by Harry's thieving dog, with a side order of Winalot. Cotterill was a legend for keeping up the most expensive squad in the division and then launching them to the exit, Avram was even more of a legend for relegating one of the highest paid squads in the division. So I see no reason why Appy can't confirm his own legendary hero status by matching our record of getting out of two divisions in consecutive seasons. Back-to-back Appy! Meanwhile, where are we on these players now? They were heroes for going on a free holiday, and even more heroic for snubbing less money at bigger clubs. But tonight we've established that many were rejected from Fleetwood to Barnet for good reasons, so have one or two of them slipped across the border from HeroTown to VillainVille yet?

after a decade of hunting through war crimes tribunals and court lists have we finally stumbled across the one bloke in the universe who might fail a FaPPT? I can't see his performance at Watford doing him any favours, though people who don't exist have passed, so he might be okay. I guess we need the dream ticket of underfunded charlatan and taxman's favourite Bassini taking the helm, with funding and 'advice' from Al Fahim and his torturing friends. This new consortium could offer the Trust a place on the board, trouser their pledges, and rely on their professional expertise for the big business decisions. Surely this tight-knit, focussed, and united team of directors could only succeed? Obviously they'll still be controlled by Chanrai who would retain his hold over all assets while awaiting the inevitable missed payment. What could go wrong? Their first appointments could be Lampitt to plan budgets and strategy, and Cotterill as a director of football, to help the future England manager Appleton invest his new promotion warchest in a plucky band of battling troops who could be roared to victory by the travelling army that would embrace the new dawn for this massive club. They might want to think about a plumber too. If this comes to pass, that's not alarm bells you'll be hearing, it'll be the sound of screeching tyres from Birch's Bentley as he leaves the scene of his crime.

Have they missed another wagebill?.... As for the new owners elect - enthusiastic, hearts in the right place - but don't tell us they're professional. Unlike PES, peering through his blue-tinted spex that block out anything that looks like an obstacle, I've seen no indication from their efforts so far that the Trust is a slick outfit. I don't see anything more than a few well-intentioned football fans doing their best to save a club - but big business requires way more than that, you only have to look at bigger clubs like Exeter to see how tough a fan-takeover was. The pompey Trust members have regularly demonstrated that their plans don't make sense, that they are desperately short of funding, their grasp of the law has been vague, and their budget to outspend other clubs while ignoring the football debt was plain bonkers and laughed out of FL HQ. They've been forced to review the players' agreements as they didn't seem to realise that they wouldn't get the golden share. The longshot offer for the ground has been ignored for three months, and their entire plan relies on that offer being legally enforced in some fantasy court where legal fees don't apply and time stands still - and when they do get that nod which they obviously will, they need someone else to fund the purchase. And they still don't accept that they can be outbid by £1, everytime they go head-to-head with the loan shark. Birch doesn't take them seriously, and after I attended that meeting and saw their plans, nor do I. The Trust looks like it's on the cusp between desperation and unprofessionalism - a theory supported by their attempt to take on debts, yet refuse to accept responsibility for paying them.

when asked by the FL for an assurance about paying the football club debts... The Trust are arguing the validity of such a requirement when it is not even their debt they are expected to pay. Oh, from that statement the Trust is implying that they don't want to include the debts in their takeover. No wonder the FL want more information. The Trust needs both financial help, and PR advice. I also heard that pompey simpleton on Solent repeating the rubbish about most of their woes being the fault of the Football League. He sounds like he left school when he was six so maybe it isn't his fault, but you'd think someone would try and explain reality to him before switching on his microphone and allowing him to display his ignorance of the facts. And now they want the FL to protect them and keep Chanrai out of their club. But if a new cash-rich, arms-dealing, money-laundering, loan-sharking war criminal ploughed his blood-splattered tank through a puppy sanctuary, an orphan's playgroup, and up the M275 today, they would scream for the league to let him through their rules so they could scrawl his glorious name straight into their little blue book of bestest heroes. Funny how they only want to adhere to the regulations when it suits. That strict FaPPT the few demand could be the death of them - and it'll be the fault of those nasty authorities who still insist on trying to create a level playing field and a league of financial fair play.

had a pompey fan text me about Arsenal earlier. They hand Walsall three points in front of less people than you can get in a lorry trailer on Eurotunnel, and they still want to have a pop. Being abused by a pompey fan these days is like a homeless bloke mocking your conservatory.

one doesn't like to be churlish on a day when we've been 'fiddled with' by bigger boys, but it would be a shame not to have a little pop at the massive club to the east, just to cheer me up. The alarm bells should be ringing - the Fortress Fatpipe attendances are getting dangerously close to the cut off point where there isn't enough money to pay both Birch and the police. The only thing they packed today was three points into a little suitcase for Walsall, and some sandwiches to see them home safely. If they lose another 1,000 fans there will be a problem and Birch will consider he's emptied the gravy train and will probably hand it over to the Trust or the loan shark. His timing is looking spot on, when the attendances hit 10K he's gonna be out of there, because there won't be enough income to pay his fees. And while we are talking about the bestest fans, you could hear the Saints following making plenty of noise at the Emirates despite the score, but still no one claimed to be the best in Europe. There's a lesson there somewhere. We're both struggling. Saints are up sh!t creek with half a paddle, pompey haven't got a creek to sh!t in.

the players' agreements are in reality about £8.5M plus Kanu, so they could be up to £10M. The PPs are only £8M. So they need to save money at the moment to be ready to cover that shortfall. Instead they are spending that future funding to gain a competitive advantage. It's bonkers. Just as it was claimed about Storrie, and then Lampitt - but Birch wouldn't let them spend more than they have... Birch is out of there soon and doesn't care what happens at Christmas, let alone in 2014! I'm surprised the Trust haven't highlighted this as it's their income he's spending, even Chinny has had a moan about it. Perhaps the Trust is too busy celebrating the glorious victory over Crawley to worry about how they pay the bills next year. Despite all the chaos of recent years, nothing has changed in the fans' mindset. They are still stuck in this cycle of poor management that involves spending tomorrow's money on gaining an advantage today. They are determined to self-harm, and no one will stop them.

As a result of these factors, we believe it is in the best interests of creditors to allow the interested parties a further short period of time to conclude a sale.’ said Trev as he kept the handbrake firmly on, calmly pocketing his daily rate of £9,000, money that could actually sort a few of those creditors out, but no. We are assured that it's in their best interests to watch the money being frittered away until they are all fighting over an empty cash bag. No rush. In your own time. Slowly does it now.... That'll be 10,000 of the few paying Trev and the Old Bill*, hope they have some cash left for those poor underpaid players. *the only bill likely to get paid in full.

proper experts will offer a better view of the accounts, though the interesting set will be the next ones if they are ever filed, the ones unclouded by the previous wagebill. I like the way Trev casually sweeps the Kanu cluster bomb under the carpet with a swish of his Hush Puppy. From what I can see they have in six months generated approx £900K from matchdays, with £96K going straight to the police. And the administrator has run up £1.4M plus £250K in legal fees - so Birch's gravy train is running up £9K a day. As we suspected, the first 8,000 through the door every fortnight are needed to cover his fees. The Trust needs to find an additional 270 pledges a month to stand still. Did we know the PP was down to £8M, some were reporting it at £11M? So there isn't enough left to even cover the player agreements. Who is the expensive 'Office holder' - £425K?... Matchdays seem to be organised mainly for the benefit of Birch and the old bill. I don't expect anything to happen today though I'm surprised that the Trust is still working on their bid and talking about possible delivery later this afternoon - that sounds slightly ominous, with a whiff of desperation.

sorry T but I can't match the comedy in that official version of pompey snatching away Celtic's hottest prospect because they're a bigger club and the player's head was turned by the prospect of playing in front of the world's greatest supporters at a packed arena. I suspect in reality it translates as average kid is told he isn't wanted at a proper club and only gets one alternative offer of first team football. Sadly for him it's only at the ar$e end of the third tier, so his hurt pride makes him claim that this significant downward spiral is in fact the best career move he has ever made! This laughable stance fools no one outside of Portsea. But it does fill in the comedy festival interval nicely while we await the next takeover funding debacle!.... So pull up a chair, get your popcorn and your bucket of fizzy tooth-rot at the ready, and tighten up the girdle that keeps your ribs in place. Because Dr Whippy is trying to open a bank account.....armed only with a snug shirt, loose change thrown at him by the few, and a smile that could curdle milk.....

We also thank the Sodje Foundation for organising and facilitating the trip. Arik Air have kindly agreed to provide us with free air travel and we are grateful to them for their help. The all-expenses paid trip will give the players and staff a fantastic opportunity to experience a different culture. They know we are watching! No more free holidays - the Nutjobs will highlight the costs in the accounts, if they ever file any. And I look forward to reading that advertised article about the player who was offered the chance to play for Celtic or pompey and chose to head south because they are a massive club, even though they probably have the lowest wagebill in the universe. My heartstrings await a tug.

Spot the odd one out. Massive clubs - Man Utd, Juventus, Chelsea, Barcelona, portsmouth, Real Madrid..... A neutral might observe that bigging yourself up after whipping 9-man Crawley in front of 5,000 people makes you look a little bit silly - to suggest that this puts the Manchester, London or Merseyside derbies in the shade is just the work of the mentally-ill. We've been invited to believe by Al Fahim that pompey sell out every game in league one, and now random squirrel-eaters are telling us that taking 1,500 to their new local derby at Crawley ranks the club alongside the giants of world football. Is all this delusion genetic, or based on an ignorance of what goes on at a higher level? I'm sure Dagenham get their stadium rocking sometimes, no doubt Barnet fans shout at refs, but these loyal fans know their place in the world order. Other than Avram's favourite Friday night companions, do they not have TVs in Portsea? Look at a packed St James' Park, checkout Anfield on a big European night - to claim you have better support than them will see you laughed out of every football debate. What makes them a local club for local people is that I don't hear fans of ANY other team making these claims. West Ham and Leeds have massive away followings, they don't gob off about being bigger than Boca Juniors or Galatasaray. Let's not forget that the dwindling few continually claim to the bestest supporters in the UK, if not the world. So how come a lesser-supported but similarly bankrupt club in the poorer third tier in Scotland has sold 35,000 season tickets?... But please keep up the plucky battling troops roared on by the travelling army spin, it makes us laugh, and fuels this thread towards another few hundred pages. And remember, most News Webchats are mainly Nutjobs with bread-based names asking awkward questions and demanding new signings or ground developments, so don't argue with yourselves!

Reality has hit home. Ten years ago it had great promise but it went way over budget and became a laughing stock, Avram took it down but couldn't get it back up. It'll never see the top flight again, so today the council announced their intentions - they won't be chucking money in the black hole. Mistakes made over a decade ago have rendered it beyond repair, the experts have given up, and that great view of the Harbourdome is now just a dream. It has brought shame on the city of portsmouth for a decade and is likely to be dismantled by several teams before Christmas. RIP the Spinnaker Tower lift.

concentrate, this is for hardcore nutjobs only! do I perhaps spot Chanrai creeping around the FL rules by agreeing a deal with Al Fahim outside of the main sale agreement?? Birch sells the club to Al Fahim, secured creditor Chinny agrees the main Birch deal because he has done another deal with Al Fahim to account for his own status. That 2nd deal is reliant on Al Fahim coughing up money at regular intervals, if it doesn't happen, could Chinny then retake control and slap his whole debt back into the club? He's going to want something as security from a new consortium and the club would seem the obvious thing to use - could it be CSI revisited, with more tea towels and less gunfights? Al Fahim will be personally carrying forward way more Chinny debt than the amount the FL will approve, the loan shark wants that protected in an agreement outside of the main sale, the FL won't have control over that deal, and Al Fahim might forget to tell them. Plausible, or Nutjobbery?

so is Al Fahim is back in town?...no doubt attracted by the massive potential for property development and his friends who have money to 'move'. Mr Robinson's interest has woken up a few people with retail and affordable housing on their agenda. Let's not forget the history of this great saviour. Clearly a business associate of Chanrai, Al Fahim is the man who claimed to be a doctor but seemed short of the actual qualification, a man who has a chequered history when it comes to being able to deliver promised finance, and the man who blazed a trail for others to follow when it came to pompey missing wage payments. When the effluent hit the fan he was conveniently playing chess, being served a court summons, boasting to Piers Morgan, or having kidney stone operations...that's one slippery ice cream salesman! If he is back, he's either managed to persuade his old torturing mate to cough up some cash and have another crack at dodging the FaPPT, or he's asked CSI to print them off one of their 'special' bank statements. Either way it's a distraction the Trust could do without. Are they being invited to pay a part share with a messy consortium? Odd. If I had twice as much money as Birch requires, everyone else could stick their interest where the sun don't shine - there would be no sharing of power. Perhaps this new 'powerhouse consortium' actually needs a couple of million to help? You can't run a business by committees, Al Fahim says this, torturer says that, Trust says the other - the club needs clear direction at the top, not management by the Dave Clark Five. Anyway, ownership might be too much for Al Fahim, before a man takes on something as complex as a football club he should first conquer lesser tasks - like being able to judge what sized shirt he requires. So I'd like two choc ices and a 99 please....and an explanation about the man who didn't exist that you did BIG business with - you can explain that on your FaPPT form, write on the back if you need more space.

I reckon a few potless loons have been tempted by the low price quoted for the land by the Trust. Let's see how keen they are when the numbers are crunched... There must be fifty better club investments in the FL - unless of course you don't mind losing a bit, as long as the stuff you do get back is clean. Makes no business sense - again! Should be a few laughs this week.

is Ho rewriting history again?....and I thought he was outed as a retaliation for his own action... And PES rewriting history too, bless! - a pattern is emerging. I did chuckle at his claim that pompey fans are trying to pay off the debts. Haven't see that claim anywhere before, I could have sworn that they are trying to write off the majority, pay a pittance and pretend nothing has happened - business as usual in portsmyth - just gloss over the facts. If my team had suffered a downward swing of 70 league places against our bitter rivals in the time it takes Appy to barbecue 12 squirrels, I'd keep a low profile. I certainly wouldn't be giving it large with arguments that a slightly backward six-year-old could dismiss. Why will they not accept reality? It must be that great wartime pompey spirit that saw the Canberra sail past the Round Tower en route to the Falklands. Just admit that it's gone pear-shaped and win back some street cred - that's why Mack gets no respect for his grammar but plenty for his spirit - he can see the big picture, he understands - he just can't express it very well. Bally - great player, unreliable historian.

I note selective reporting of how Portpin's bid was deemed unacceptable....but no reference to the Trust's bid being told likewise - the usual spin. Some good stuff for PES about how many people do regard the Trust effort as a good thing - just really badly-done, and poorly-hyped. And when their first budget showed them looking to borrow money against the future, and outbid other clubs for players, it wasn't a good start. Time for a clean break, put down the diseased beast, and adopt a fresh approach. The Football League may have accidentally created the Trust's biggest headache. Looking at the football creditors' deal, Chinny might take £2M a year for four years, but they can't carry that much forward, so he needs cash. The FL is trying to make him walk for a pittance, he won't. They are playing poker on the Trust's behalf - badly. I can see how the long term budget might work..... if they stuck to £2M wages and maintained League One status with 15K gates, but they must be about £6M short now, and an additional £1.5M a year short for heroic players' payoffs - and in trouble when the last PP is spent. As for leaving the future of your ground in the hands of property developers... The only way forward is with a strict budget, no overspending, guaranteed 15K gates, no outbidding clubs, no borrowing against the future, no being held hostage by a land owner. The Trust's bid fails on all of these counts - and that's why I'm out.

let's not forget that most pompey fans couldn't get onto News webchats for people with toast-related names asking funny questions about expensive new signings and doing liquidation puns about the progress of the Harbourdome and underwater shenanigans. So perhaps the few have been squeezed off their own forum too, meaning you lot are just arguing with yourselves, policed by their last fan - and that would be gold medal Nutjobbery! Either way the Trust is now about £20M short of a sustainable business plan, if I get bored in the morning I might pluck a new cashflow forecast out of thin air and call it a fact - might chuck a prossie gag in for good measure too, see how I feel. Night night.

it's okay, West Brom are paying most of his wages as he once drove up the M5 - and the shortfall, not that there is one, is being covered by a rich fan. In fact, pompey are improving terms for creditors by taking him on. They haven't broken any rules at all - Bradbury will actually increase the £12M generated every home game by the club. And those that were previously employed in his role until their sudden redundancies are just pleased that the club's world famous academy is thriving. It's a win-win!

Nige obviously left a legacy of radical development and an open mind on fresh ideas when he moved south. S****horpe manager and former Saints apprentice Alan Knill has adopted the pompey way for cost-cutting and low cost catering, and is taking it to a new level. I got hit by a squirrel. I went over the top of my bike and landed on my head, shoulder and neck," Knill told BBC Radio Humberside. I saw it run into the road but couldn't do anything about it and it just hit my wheel and stuck. UnAppy has missed a trick, Knill has combined the low cost travel with roadkill harvesting, he just needs to create a tent out of the fur and he can sign ANYONE without incurring any costs at all! And if that fails, he could just lie and say a rich fan has paid for it. Avram lubi zaszaleć na młodzieży w okienku transferowym.

let's not forget that the ridiculous PCC loan idea was sold on the 'fact' that every home game brings approx £12M into the city.....a claim that went unchallenged by people who regard themselves as intelligent. So just to support that fine theory, let's see what tonight delivers for the local economy... To hit target, an average family of four travelling from Bournemouth tonight will be required to spend about £8,000 in the city. As long as they fill their car up 30 times in Portsmouth, buy 1000 programmes, have 400 McDonalds, and stay at a local hotel for a fortnight, those figures stack up. the pompey theme park - the land that maths forgot - a world where fantasy and fact merge, and no one questions why the king is starkers and there's a herd of elephants in the room. (other than Mack!)

while I'm still not fully sure on the state of player contracts as the rules look vague, I was surprised that Appy took the public stance that he did, basically claiming that players were there now and that's the end of it. It sounded a bit tactless, he was implying that he'd conned some of them into signing, that he'd got one over on them. Also the original agreements were held up as contracts that needed both sides to agree to termination. Surely that means that they have not only taken some players hostage but that they are stuck with underperforming and injured players? Either way it looks messy and has upset other League One clubs that cannot match pompey's bizarre wage offers. What an odd way to run a business. And what has it come to when we rely on Bournemouth to dish out some justice. Though Lee Barnard has that Judge Dredd/Universal Soldier look to him...if he scores tonight he'll have to run halfway around the ground to find someone to upset - I hope he's not allergic to blue seating. But no one is interested in the JPT, I remember saying that to the other 55,000 Saints fans at Wembley.

just when you start to feel sorry for them the delusion kicks in again, every time the likes of Ho open their mouths a hilarious myth spills out... The most ludicrous one I heard was that we gave away 13,000 free tickets for every home game - not to be confused with the free tickets for asylum seekers and jobless deal we ran for a while... It's up there with all scummers leave after 75 mins and boo their own players at half time, that's when the ground isn't half empty like it was for Wigan and Man Utd. Why would anyone believe this stuff unless they are more dense than the fat in Appy's bath? So now we are told of £120K a week... It must be true as it came from the son of the kitman, who Ho meets at an underwater Saab dealership every few weeks to discuss CSI's sponsorship budget for the forthcoming financial year and council plans to gift them land to sell to Tesco for £20M. Living near the frontline I suffer these bizarre claims on a regular basis, fantasy dressed as fact, it makes you cringe and fear for the future. I was assured 18 months ago that Cortese had sold the club and had abandoned the project - the bloke swore that it was true, presumably as he will swear that he too heard that Ramirez is on £120K a week, which equals about £200K a week when skate-adjusted. Living to the east is like being a bloody missionary worker, I'm spending half the week just trying to spread education to the dim masses - it's a fricking nightmare. No, our admins are not the same, no you haven't been punished for the same crime twice, that cow is small, and no the refs haven't had an email to pick on you... Let's not forget that the Toyman is the King of the Ridiculous Myth - I believe very little that I hear, even about pompey, though his funniest ones were VERY funny! If there are facts to support then it's worth considering, but how can you reason with anyone who bases their irrational hatred on a story stolen from Millwall and West Ham's past? If the rivalry is all about a dock strike that never happened, anyone believing that is by now about fifth generation retarded. Why would you believe a story with more holes in it that Avram's tracksuit trousers? And why would you repeat it unless you wanted to look backward? As for the WW2 stuff, that was too fanciful even for those 12 year old Somerstown children who can neither rap, read, nor speak to girls without blushing. Only the thickest of the thick bought that rubbish. That offering today is just another £120K myth for the pile.

you got lucky, there was only one major development while you were away, then it all fizzled out a bit after that. If you want to save yourself time - the Trust agreed a deal of £7.25M for the ground, Chinny ripped up all security and has walked away smiling - we were sad to see him go. Tesco has offered £20M for the land but the Trust is more likely to redevelop the site themselves with the backing of supporters. They also increased their offer to CVA creditors, sorted the charities, and renegotiated with all the former players to pay £6M. They've already cleared that in cash from the new pledges that are now pouring in - their management structure and plans look really professional. Birch has overturned the points penalty and the FL have apologised. The fresh feel-good factor meant a sell out for the home win over Oldham but despite all the optimism, Appy is still reluctant to spend money and has been using youth team members instead of mercenaries, a policy that has been rewarded as many of them look really promising and a credit to the academy that is the envy of many top European clubs. And a local plumber has identified the source of fat and fixed it for £80 + vat. He still awaits payment....but they have 30 days, and the recent U-turn in policy and the refreshing winds of change blowing through the club would suggest that he will get paid earlier than that. Many of us are quite jealous but refuse to admit it. We had to put up with a boring game yesterday AND I washed my hands at half time and they felt a bit fatty afterwards.