rallyboy

let's not forget that Harry cannot type, text or read, and has never been involved in negotiating the financial aspect of any transfer. All of his signings have been a great success, he has never saddled any clubs with future debt for short term gain, he has never lost money on property deals because his judgement was blinded by greed, and the legion of rumours that follow him didn't cost him the England job. And the Spurs job. And the West Ham job. But if you are in trouble before Christmas he is the man who can keep you up. Whereas his sticky-pawed dog is capable of setting up foreign bank accounts, booking flights to Monaco online, organising international money transfers that seem designed to evade tax, exchanging texts with David Beckham, and giving her owner free rein when it comes to making implausible public statements. Next thing we know the thieving little ***** will be telling us that her owner's not a wheeler dealer. I can think of no one more suited to being relegated instead of us. This voluntary paycut he is about to take, to shame his own players, will be one of the most noble things he has ever done.

great work H. Some little gems in there. So much criminality and delusion to cram into one festive season! And anyone buying the calendar should know that all proceeds will be stolen from a selection of local charities and spent on shiny tat.

it wasn't Dr Grant was it? You wake up in his chair and get home to find your pants on back to front. But he was right about one thing, your jaw did ache the next day...

the 4-1 in that season referred to four fake owners and one billionaire. As for Wiltshire Police stopping pompey taking more that 1,000 to Swindon, that would make sense as they are way too passionate, bestest and noisy for mere mortals to cope with, and some of the home players as well as all officials will be overawed by playing in such a hostile atmosphere, it wouldn't be fair. It sounds like Walsall away will be like a television reconstruction of World Cup 78 too - we just need Kempes and another 120,000 sheets of shredded A4 and the image will be complete. It's all gone a bit sad and deluded - a little club on the slide that refuses to accept that it is now even smaller than the likes of Crawley and Stevenage, and in PR they still pretend to be bigger than Exeter. Some of you are just plain cruel.

that'll be the same Kanu who is currently Mr December in the now trail-blazing panto-style annual Calendar of Villains.

Glitterati -do you want to be in their gang, their gang, their gang? No thanks. For so many reasons. Any business venture that relies on an inititial enthusiasm will have a big surge in income followed by a steady decline. If they start off slightly underfunded and then get further stretched AND engaged in a protracted legal battle I would suggest their outgoings will increase roughly as fast as their income decreases. They now form a perfect graph - their income and outgoings must be heading in different directions at an alarming rate. But the 12th man tells us the bid has never been stronger, and no one from Portsea has ever made anything up so it must be true. The truth is they have a shortfall to cover so they need new pledges every day. BUT, they also need new pledges to cover the legal fees and the local hero businessmen's loans. I cannot see how they can produce enough funds, and with every new day, the trickle of pledges slows but the target gets higher. But they are doing great... Facts are the Portsea Ferrero Rocher - a luxury, only to be introduced on very special occasions.

careful pikeyjosh, you're through the bottom of the barrel and that's the floor you're scraping. Are you watching it loud because your big webbed fingers can't steal from dying children, fondle your sister, and operate the remote control at the same time? It might be a waste of fuel but get the opentop bus out again, a clean sheet again the legendary Preston is worth a ticker tape parade, that's if you didn't use it all up celebrating that fantastic courtroom success - and if you have run out of ticker tape you can always shred printouts of the league table and rewrite history as you go! Just when you think deluded is an overused word they jump straight into it again. Give it another year and that'll be recorded as a league double over the scummahs, the 6pts that sent us down and assured their safety. Once again a scabby homeless tramp is mocking our 6-bed house.

McInnes was quite clear on the radio this morning that the 'investors' are now having to put money in not to just cover the overpaying of wages, but to cover the ongoing legal bills. It might not be their court case but they are obviously picking up the tab - Trev ain't dim. And when Al Fahim gets on Twitter to give you financial advice you know you are in trouble. The man can't even order himself a shirt the correct size, I don't think I'll be too worried about his little chiming van of cornets rolling up to save them, even as a Chinny frontman. But the legal fees must be crippling them, nothing sucks up capital like a legal case and when you have a big hole in your projections, the last thing you need is an adjournement. The big plucky blue money beast is still feeding!

the last time the phrase stop tempting me trousers I can't resist was heard, it was in Avram's Grant's head when the craggy one's juices started flowing and the voices started arguing with each other. Thankfully he let it all spill out, so to speak, when someone gave him a microphone and he vocalised his madness. I think it's pretty clear from their attendances that the famous unbreakable spirit that he assured us would last a thousand generations, actually broke within a fortnight. That was his famous rivers of fat speech.* *there is another version of this sentence available after the watershed.

Firstly the hospital thing... Being a tad cynical the first thing I did when I saw that 'Saints' had visited the hospital was to check out the photo to see who had gone - I was impressed! These gigs often end up with the same handful of players having to cover them, ours was a great turn out. Yes the pompey players are on monthly contracts, but they are being paid VERY well - so four is a feeble showing and just gives cynical nutjobs an easy tap in. Secondly, as they have just been caught out telling fibs yet again, would someone from pfc like to explain why they have been persistently economic with the truth for the last few years? We have the lowest wages, we haven't outbid anyone - whoops, we seem to be insolvent! Even though the fans had to be thicker than the contents of a Fratton wastepipe to gobble up all the spin and the lies, that is no justification for misleading them - it must be time for an apology, and perhaps some transparency going forward. Other managers pointed out the overpaying, pompey denied it - the ongoing losses show it was true. It's a bit much when you have to rely on a rival fan's forum to give you the actual facts.

HNW individuals funding the business?? That can't be right, that would mean that pompey are overpaying wages to gain a competitive advantage, trading insolvently, and were being secretly bailed out by property developers on the offchance that they'll make a killing. And all of that has been denied in the past so that claim by the Trust must be wrong. If it were true it would mean that they really are addicted to insolvency and beyond cure. And the HNW individuals perhaps need to be relabelled individuals. I can see those suckers going the same way as the bloke who paid for Appy's holiday. Put money in, wave it goodbye. Does that mean 11 weeks = £1M loss? That's quite a burn rate for a company that has already made redundancies and slashed overheads. So to compete at the bottom of League One they will operate at a loss of £5M a year. The best thing to come out of yesterday was that all those mad Nutjob claims about overspending, outbidding Championship clubs and inflated wages were spot on. They really only have one thing of value left in that whole sorry mess, but all parties are circling... Birch is spending them in advance, the property developers want them, the Trust is wholly reliant on them, the former players are owed them, but Chinny will trouser them! - the final parachute payments are the only thing keeping the sick beast alive. After the £8M payout, there is no future. They can gather the family, get Bono in to wail an acoustic number, and switch off the machine.

so did they get the keys?... if that was a glorious victory then I'm going to get us promotion only using reluctant academy players shoe-horned into a Total Football system reminiscent of Ajax in the 1970s.... Sounds like they have a month to find another property developer who wants to empty his bank account without delay. Can't see this victory helping the promotion push. A handful of fans acting like animals outside the high court is always great PR as well - I'm sure it was passion rather than abuse that was being spouted in the street. If that was a good day it demonstrates how crap life must be to the east.

even as they stare into the abyss, the spin keeps on churning out of Fatpipes Arena.... Pompey have been warned they will be facing a side lifted by the prospect of playing at Fratton Park tomorrow. Caretaker boss Guy Whttingham believes teams are upping their games when they travel to meet the Blues. He said: ‘We need to get over the hurdle of playing at Fratton Park, where teams see it as a place they are lifted. ‘We have to prepare for a Preston side looking forward to playing at Fratton because of the atmosphere it creates. ‘The opposition want to come and do well because of the history of the club. Yeah, little Preston, a team with no history, fired up because they get to play against one of the historic giants of world football in a packed stadium! Poor little pompey are suffering because refs and now players regard a day in their city as a cup final. A staggering bit of PR flying in the face of facts. They need to get real - and soon, in fact in about five hours time, because they could be in for a shock.

the club future hangs by a thread yet only one family makes the trip to court. Perhaps Justice 'closing down' Sales will put the poor sick beast out if it's misery tomorrow. Though a 28 day course of painkillers costing £250K seems more likely. The reporting from court is amusing but I miss those funny articles about players who want to turn Fatpipes into a fortress and how some random Barnet reject knew there was only one club he wanted to go to after he had 90 letters of rejection, yes, the biggest sleepiest undeveloped giant in the world where packed crowds frighten refs....please get Avram to make another funny speech on the court steps, and if he can't do that he could accuse Chanrai of misleading the judge. If anyone can make it stand up in court it'll be their favourite uncle. For those reasons alone we need them to survive - for what would we become if we didn't have people to look down on? Well, technically we'd be QPR, but you know what I mean.

and we were thinking that it was the Trust who were the poor relations of the deal, looks like their £1M will buy them full control - of nothing in particular. IF Robinson is potless, as a property developer I'm sure he can raise some funding for a deal that might net him a couple of million. I reckon he must have a few million squirreled away, but if he hasn't, what sort of person is likely to take a punt and lend him money at an alarming interest rate?.... Though that interest rate will rise a percent with every abusive comment in the courtroom corridors. The high court is definitely their second home now, could even be their first home soon. Has the nasty league restricted their support squad to 14? That is unfair. With all that's going on today I can see why they think we are all jealous.

we moved pretty quickly from the tubthumping 'Chanrai knows the game is up and has had to settle' to 'PKF have realised that their case is falling apart'. Perhaps the truth is somewhere in between, but closer to the latter! The court won't be interested in some random bloke in the public gallery spouting off about what he could do if appointed administrator, surely any Portpin gripe with Birch is irrelevant to the land case? Ditto Birch and the Trust funding. He doesn't care how much they've got, his job is to deliver the ground for £2.75M - it's up to them after that. If he gets his adjournment then I reckon the PDT deadline for being in full control of the club before Christmas might be getting a little bit tight... But on a brighter note, plenty more fees draining out of plucky Guy's promotion warchest. Trev's family will do alright on Christmas day - I bet he kept himself one of those blue Santa suits - yes kids, pompey paid for all of this! Anyone for more swan?

Hurrah! The guns have stopped, the battle has been won! The big knobs have got around the table and yanked the big iron out of the fire.... Or perhaps Team Chinster has just eased the handbrake on and is watching the PDT's legal fees creeping up faster than little Avram at a Baywatch convention. If the Football League firing a warning shot at them the other day could be spun as a vote of confidence, then I'm sure this delay is fantastic news. Unless you had booked a Matiz to carry the blue army up there. Yes that's it, fan power has forced the court to have a rethink, the biggest fan buyout has proved too much for Justice Sales to cope with, we need a more important judge who can cope with the pressure of the best club in the world - the thought of that massive crowd with all of their banners bringing central London to a standstill proved too much. I bet the Met asked for a new date when they heard about the bookshop van full of porn, grass, and a chemical toilet heading their way.... Come on Penny, come on beardie, tell us what you think about this latest success, and how you did your bit to blaze a trail that will lead football into a new age (even those clubs that have done it already).....this rubber-stamping exercise is less hassle than we thought, it'll be a matter of minutes before they get the keys and ride off into the sunset. FANtastic!! yawn. And on a funnier note - anyone else seen the pompey 2012 calendar? - guess who Mr December is?.... Sadly not Ben Haim - but Kanu! He's appeared just before the court case to remind them about his claim.

one of the historic issues is being highlighted again this week by those wishing to dodge the penalty. They want to criminalise former owners and let them take the rap for all wrongdoing, but they'd like to keep the cup. You cannot distance 'the club' from the crimes, nor the fans - unless of course they were a lone voice of protest outside Wembley? I 4-1 would like them to admit that their only honest game in recent years was Plymouth away. They can keep that result.

feet firmly on gas? Or is that head firmly in oven?... any tears shed would form a river of hope - nice one G! Maybe plucky Capt Whittingham and Petty Officer Awford can guide the plucky troopship through the backwaters of despair and eventually a tide of blue emotion and property developers will wash our brave heroes onto a beach of glory... Or they'll rot in the corner of a stinky harbour. Even now I find it staggering that so many people on Portsea do not understand the simple facts. When you have to explain to senior journalists who write on the subject, and to fans who are involved with the rescue packages, that this is not a 2nd penalty for the same crime, you fear for their masterplan for the future. It ain't rocket surgery. We've been joking on here for ages about how it's not fair and that Man Utd have debt, some of the few believe that! And how's the appeal going, the one that in itself is a resignation of the Golden Share? The one that says, we are ignoring your conditions by appealing and no longer wish to partake in league football? The FL listed it as a condition, it didn't need clarifying unless you are VERY dim, so as Al Murray would say, not news! But nice to hear it again. As for the ones chucking toys about and moaning about the authorities ruining their season, nothing has changed since they bought that season ticket for the Hindenburg. It was alight when you got on, what did you think would happen? You did the crime, just do the time - even if it turns into hard labour in the Wessex League.

Shaw is an awesome prospect, how good will he be when he's fully developed? With him and Clyne looking this solid we look like a unit. On the refs, yes we have had some shocking examples but MoTD just demonstrates the appaling quality on show at the moment. Thankfully we haven't been robbed too much yet, but it will happen. Their boss must be hugely embarrassed at the current crop - as a group they are the worst I've seen for a while. Some of the decisions in other games beggar belief - and it looks like a linesman these days is nothing more than a ref who is so bad they won't let him have a whistle. A good team might have equalised from those two ridiculous free-kicks at the death, then again a good ref would've allowed the 'goal' or awarded a penalty for the push by the keeper. But the best thing for me is we look so much better than many of the teams around us. QPR v Wigan was like a Keystone Cops convention, Villa are toothless, Sunderland in freefall. IF this run of form continues and we can get some cosnistency away from home, you have to take your hat off to Nige who was right on the brink a few weeks back - and to Nicola for not jumping the gun, despite the media heaping the pressure on. It's like we had a plan all along...sort of.

they'll have that fricking open topped bus out again tomorrow - the plucky underdogs battling to a draw on Merseyside roared on by the famous blue army...

thankfully judges don't read the Mail so that bit of PR was wasted. Mr Birch, please refrain from babbling on about liquidation, this court is ONLY deciding the potential value of a slab of unoccupied grassy wasteland with four sheds on it - what you do with the court decision is none of our concern. And make sure you take that public gallery circus back to Monkey World or the Romany Museum when we've finished.

I'm confused! Should I boo Ben Haim for being a skate, or applaud him for ripping the ar$e out of their bank account? He's done more damage to them than any other player, so by inviting him round Harry has firmly nailed his flag to the f'ck pompey mast. And Ben Haim is still due a few quid from the heroes of 2011/12 fund, so pretty soon he could be getting paid by Harry and the Trust! The only way that anymore icing could be balanced on this particular cake is if he is really sh!t and leads Harry's plucky boys all the way to the Championship.

I heard quite a chunk of that Solent phone-in - it was no more than a desperate filler for the end of the week when proper ideas have run out. They were proposing that the two clubs merge which would solve pompey's financial issues and we could utilise their best players to help us move up the league... As a concept I think it's still work in progress. Most people I heard told them it was bonkers. TCWTB came across fairly sensibly, as he does when sober, Clive Foley had a gentle jousting match with Farmery but resisted saying that we might consider a merger if they stopped stealing from charities. A couple of randoms dragged the debate off towards hooliganism but the guy who did make me chuckle was 'Kyle'. PresenterBoy accused him of being immature when he said that he would love it if pompey lost more money and ended up playing in the Sunday league, 'because it means I can laugh at them a bit more'. Difficult to argue with.

If Team Chinster cannot guarantee the former player debt then that brings the Trust bid to a halt too. The only budget they have bothered to release had a £6M shortfall, and we still await an explanation for how that, and the ambitious attendance projection shortfall will be bridged. Let's not forget that Birch was reluctant to give a thumbs-up to their fantasy scheme until they gave up on a fan buyout and got into bed with property developers. But surely this case is just about land value, and I can't see Trev getting to drag the judge off into sentimental bestest plucky vital to the community land. Doddery judge doesn't care whether little johnny cuddled his sister for the first time under the south stand in 1934 during half time, or that the club generates £300M a year for local businesses. Tis very simple. Is this a fair price for the land? Yes or no are the options. His job is to cut through the surrounding spin and get to the facts and the law. Let's see if he manages it better than previous judges.