rallyboy

Pompey have delivered a ‘hands off’ warning over Steve Cotterill in the wake of intense talk over the manager’s future. The Blues insist they have not received an approach from Birmingham following speculation the midlanders were keen to take Cotterill to St Andrew’s. And chief executive David Lampitt vowed there were no plans for the 46-year-old to leave after another dramatic day at Fratton Park. Wow there, one moment.....so the only thing missing from this dramatic day was in fact....drama. The club insist that Birmingham hasn't made an approach, Birmingham don't even have him on their radar. So no club has attempted to speak to Cotterill. No one wants him. But Lampitt has issued a hands off warning to make sure that the bloke that no one else wants, goes nowhere....well done. This is like a really poor day at Max Clifford's office where blatant spin doesn't even have enough legs to create one plausible story. What next, Nugent told he has no pompey future, as he heads past jct 32 of the M6 at 100mph? Lampitt hits out at Ben Haim's relaxed attitude to wage collection? They do treat the few like idiots, and they can't all be that stupid.....

I can't see how riding bikes naked is going to discourage serial rapists - especially as most of the cyclists looked like pervy middle aged men. Though the one who was painted like a tiger was no angel, so he was gagging for it.

get in there Lampitt, this looks like a pompey type of signing - Everton could let Yakubu go for a fee of £2m. However, the player's wages of between £35,000 and £40,000 are the stumbling block Re Nugent, I could see him running down his contract as the club was heading for the rocks but things have changed, we're told there is a brave new era and an arena is around the corner.... Why would you not hold onto your top scorer if you have rich new owners?

the lure of Horton Heath could prove too much for Avram, he'd jump at the chance. He could be slipping his CV through their back door at this very moment.

if I hadn't seen them dodge these rules before I would assume that the mix of an embargo and the FL monitoring their spending would prevent them from outbidding richer clubs. But with the blatant cheating that accompanied the last embargo I fully expect them to ignore the latest court action, deny knowledge of the debt, run roughshod over the authorities and assemble yet another team they cannot afford to run. In fact their new owners have even more clout in certain circles than the previous ones, so the FL better watch their backs if they try and impose any sanctions at all on these fit and proper people. The authorities welcomed them to their league with open arms, so they can't moan if they find their family pets sawn in half on the living room carpet.

the Ben Haim problem isn't a new one, though it is a serious issue. The Russians bought the club with this ongoing so they should just pay him and move on. None of us on here did due diligence but we all knew he was unpaid, so if they say it's news to them they are idiots who have just set sail into a sea of sh1t - without a boat. Did Chanrai forget to mention the court cases and the CVA as well?

perhaps the new owners were just unable to make the FL meeting, they are busy running their multi-million pound businesses that will bankroll the club. If protection money isn't paid, those crackhouse brothel owners won't torture themselves - 'business' requires dedication and that takes time. Or could it be that they have seen the comical yet professionally negligent headline on the current Sports Mail that says Build it and the Blues Fans will Come. They must be in meetings with international construction companies to get the arena upgraded into a Superdome without delay, to squeeze in the 50,000 of the bestest that were locked out every other week last season.

nice one Mack - 'Welcome to Portsmouth - the city of quality matchday programmes' - that should be on a banner across the M275. On a completely random note, I've seen Arsenal and Chelsea hospitality tickets printed locally as well, presumably so a London company didn't produce twice the required amount.

nice one Mack - 'Welcome to Portsmouth - the city of quality matchday programmes' - that should be on a banner across the M275. On a completely random note, I've seen Arsenal and Chelsea hospitality tickets printed locally as well, presumably so a London company didn't produce twice the required amount.

Mack, you're sounding all depressed old fella - cheer up, you have rich new owners, a magnificent manager who performed miracles last season even though every ref had it in for him, and the Russians are about to go on a massive spending spree that will make Redknapp look like a spendthrift - things are looking up! And don't forget, Saints are in deep financial trouble, losing money every week, we don't own our stadium and we are heading back into administration any day soon. What more could you want from life?....

had me worried there for a mo - thankfully Kanu has denied these retirement rumours so his ridiculously inflated contract will continue to cripple their wagebill for another two years, until he's 50.

well here is my confession - no joke, this is for real! I recently stumbled across John W******d.... I thought it only polite to mention the subject of football - he wasn'ty too worried about my roots, he said he knows loads of scummers. Rather refreshingly I got more sense out of him that your average pompey supporter. No excitement about new owners, big spending sprees or any of that gloating denial rubbish. He just wants to watch pompey, and he doesn't care what division they are in. We also agreed that life outside of the top flight for both clubs hasn't been the end of the world (!). So when I next meet a dim skate who starts on about new stadiums, 4-1 etc, I can honestly say that I've heard more sense from a CWAB who wears clown shoes and a big hat.

seeing how the football authorities have punished reckless spending, kept crooks out of the game, and not allowed any clubs to trade insolvently, they will need a complete change of their own staff to make any of this work. I wouldn't trust the current lot to be able to sit the correct way on a toilet, so I have no confidence in them enforcing financial restrictions. And the ideas proposed seem to be designed to make the Prem a closed shop and keep all other league clubs in their place - unable to compete. With massive cash in the top division and similar restrictions imposed at all levels it will be the same three up and down - until the end of time.

Norris was a done deal, and that was before Cotterill had this massive transfer warchest to build his promotion team with. Or perhaps there's a new problem... Players regarded pompey as a poor club that would outbid anyone. Now they have rich new owners, they can pay even more! A bit like us when everyone thought we had Chamberlain money burning a hole in our pockets and upped prices for any potential signings. pompey gave out long £20K a week contracts when they were trading insolvently, so no decent player will want to come for less now they are rich.

this is the best place to find comedy on this site, less of a thread, more of a gentleman's club for acidic and educated wit, ably supported by facts that regularly emerge and blur the line between jokes and reality. We must have a meet up sometime, put faces to the names that have been a feature on here - maybe Ho will join us? And while we are revisiting great comedy moments like Crab's fine efforts, can I do my Avram Grant gag again? The one about him having a semi coming up....and I thought he was clothes shopping when they said he was splashing out on a new thai...... Anyway - what the hell are the Russians doing? They've had ages to plan the takeover and hit the ground running, anyone would think they don't know what they're doing - and that can't be the case.

Saints hero Peter Storrie is back in football...ish - on the committee at Liss and currently on a campaign to become chairman. Lucky Liss. And there are murmourings once again about the safety certificate on the Fratton Pk arena - that's a couple of very wooden stands, and there's a limit to how many times you can chuck flameproof paint on them and get away with it. They have two big ticking timebombs awaiting massive investment. I know they can shut half the ground and still get everyone in but it's not an ideal scenario.

I'm curious to see exactly what they have bought.... Loan sharks don't lend interest free for a year or two then surrender all gambling cards without a decent payday. If the figure of £15M is accurate it really wouldn't surprise me if he has held onto the ground and is renting it to them. That was his original golden ticket to halt the child-maimer's plans, without the ground he has no control over his business enemy, nor the new owners. With it he has full control of all - and the opportunity to ask top dollar for it down the line. I can't see why he would include it for less than £20M - or has he still got first claim on transfers in? There must be some little gem in the small print if he sold 'the club' for £15M. Let's remember that any allegations aside, and there are a lot of them, these are the guys that couldn't produce enough funds to impress Bournemouth enough to even start negotiations. To do all they want they need £100M to start with. Their personal wealth isn't big enough to buy Bournemouth. So, did I mention? - the figures don't stack up.

just returned safely from portsea island. I know there are rough places everywhere but I hadn't even got out of the car before I saw a fat bird with no knickers and transparent tight leggings, and a bloke with a homemade tat the length of his leg - they and their Turkey Twizzler-fuelled, cross-eyed kids were waddling off to stick their little fat fingers in greasy chip bags. (sounded like Dune for a mo there!) It was like a trailer for Trainspotting meets Shameless, god knows what tourists make of it as they head down to Warrior. Makes you realise that most people down there don't know or care about where Russians get their money from, it's beyond their world. I suppose it makes it so much easier for Cotterill and Lampitt to fool them with feeble spin. What I don't get is how the more sensible end of their fanbase can pretend that most of the few are normal - it is definitely a club for local people. All clubs have an unsavoury element, but most keep it to a minority.

get 5% cashback? I don't think creditors are even going to see that much! I'm just off to a job in deepest Portsea, if I'm not back by this afternoon you know that I've been found out and dealt with.

did you think that on the back of some ruthlessly comic postings I'd been kidnapped by Russian men in sunglasses? The big clue to that when it happens will be when I suddenly start posting fluffy stuff about how maybe I have had it wrong all along and they are just nice businessmen after all...there will be no U-turn!.......Unless a former KGB bloke has my knackers in a vice, then I'll be happy to don a blue and white clown's hat, wave a bell about and sing whatever he wants me to. Anyway, I go away for three days and return to find that rather than making progress the few have actually managed to become MORE criminal than they were last week, amazing. Can there be any pompey fans out there still in denial about the quality of new owner they have attracted? No, really?? At least they have gone A List with these criminals - you won't be giving these guys any **** if you are sensible, in fact the most likely reason for this thread ever closing now is when we start disappearing one by one, or realise that we are going to get ourselves shot. As for the FaPPT - it now has less street cred than Ho and his hilarious delusions that kept us warm through two chilly winters.

Phil you little tease, are you challenging Ho's alltime record for slightly-flawed ITK claims? - or, if you really have some interesting titbits give clues that us sharper ones can translate! for instance - Is the child-maimer back in the building?...or did he never leave? Or just give marks out of ten to the takeover if you were a member of the few......

so Norris wants a three year deal, presumably on slightly silly wages. And it seems that 91 clubs don't consider he's worth that.... Cotterill had better up his game on transfers and not waste the Russian money like he did Chanrai's. One dodgy signing and he could be bundled off to a midnight meeting at Camber Docks. Lampitt might be heading for an evening tied to a chair in a lock up with petrol running down his broken glasses as well - difficult to question the idea of the FaPPT when someone has taped your mouth shout and is waving a lighter in front of it. Lesson one of Swimming with Sharks - if you take their money, you play by their rules. Getting in bed with arms dealers is one thing, getting cosy with their customers could be a step too far. But on the bright side, maybe this new pressure will focus their minds on better decision making.

Jealous outrage pfc123?.......mmmm, let me think....50,000 at wembley, Markus with his camera....Brighton away.....promotion....mmmm.... I think not. Yes, as you say, some of the pompey crimes do occur in football at several clubs, but your last few owners have rewritten that sorry book and taken it to a new level, hence the indignant outrage and theatrical shaking of heads. I don't think many on here have actually wished the club dead, they would just like some honesty when it comes to the facts. You know that you won the cup when the club was trading insolvently and ignoring tax demands, you also beat us with an illegally assembled squad on the back of misleading the high court with a false accounts statement. That was way beyond the misdemeanours that even Leeds have committed - lying to the court? I'd be a bit worried about the ongoing investigation if I were you, I'd be surprised if there aren't some little gems in those accounts -whether there is any punishment dished out is another matter. So the few seem happy to claim the cup from that time but reluctant to accept the crimes of that era as they were done by previous owners. You can't have it both ways. And what of the men at the centre of that glorious cup run? The captain still hasn't been paid yet, and the manager, who ably-assisted by the Fratton End favourite Peter Storrie drove the club over the cliff, is now despised by many. Can't see there being much of a reunion of the boys of 08. Now the folk of Portsea are celebrating a new era for the club, reappearing from their little shells as if the last season hasn't happened - they will once again claim to be pompey til they get bored. But it's too late, we now know - The bestest abandoned the club when the going got tough, they gave up - look at the attendances - that bestest myth has been nailed forever and only continues as a joke on here. 250,000 on southsea common - but 10,000 home fans at the arena. Small businesses still await money, the taxman has all but given up, and as a knock on effect of the loss of tax revenue in the current climate, national cuts have been imposed. So QA sees wards close and staff lose their jobs - pompey should have G5 on their shirts as a permanent reminder of that travesty and how they used other people's money to line their own pockets. Yes, the club has damaged people locally. They stole taxpayer's cash and gave it to the likes of Ben Haim, Nugent, Lawrence and Kitson - all on massively inflated salaries that no other clubs could afford, in fact, no club could afford. It's that cheating that causes the outrage, and it isn't jealousy - we just know what has gone on, and I believe we can see what is planned next. Through design and reputation your club has become a magnet for criminals, and it's gone so far down that seedy path that I'm not sure how you can drag in back into mainstream football. pompey are in a league of their own.

Not enjoyed it?? A rubbish manager who visits a grubby brothel in his club tracksuit driven there by his club driver paid for by season ticket holders. An administrator who signs autographs, people who sell landmines and are wanted for war crimes paying over the top wages to buy success, World Cup tickets for the Maradona Stand at the Harbourdome anyone? An owner that doesn't even exist, Al Fahim in his Gob****e shirt that is way too small, insane Ho making all those ludicrous claims, and let's not forget players who won't even play taking millions out of the club! - what is there not to like about this whole saga?...It's been hilarious! Ken Dodd has a lesson to learn here - a comedy show shouldn't last a paltry four hours, it should go on for two years and everytime you think it's over and you get up to leave because you cannot laugh nor wet yourself anymore - they come back out on stage and Avram makes his speech, or Cotterill blames a ref - it's been top draw comedy gold from start to....well, I'm not sure the laughs are over yet. This might just be another interval. I thought a year ago that we had our moneysworth out of their fall and let's face it they were cup winners and in the Prem when this fiasco started - how do we define getting away with it? Ask the few how much fun they've had, the ones I know are broken men. The soap opera has really have been very entertaining and I for one have found it all most uplifting - I would like a finale with points penalties but I can't complain about entertainment value thus far. Does that make me a bad person? Probably, then again I'm on the frontline and have suffered several years of gobby pikeys so I'm entitled to have a bitter streak. If you live in Southampton and never see a pompey fan, feel free to have no opinion on them. For the rest of us - bring it on, let's have some Russian laughs now, starting with the Arena! It's been quoted that they need to find £15M for Chanrai - but has he included the ground for that? Are they renting it? Would any loan shark let all his power go without recouping his full amount? If they are serious in the next few years they need maybe £15M for the child-maimer, £75M to build, £10M for players, £30M for wages, £16M for cva. That's enough to buy three or four established Prem teams...... There is hardly any parachute money available once football debts are cleared. If they want to 'exchange' money they pile £100M in and will then own a club worth about half of that - good business? They need to go up. So this thread still has legs, though the originator may perhaps like to set up a renaming ceremony for those that have enjoyed it? Put me on that guestlist.

nice pix Pedg, so when they said it's been a triumph - they meant the Acclaim that's balanced on a fridge. Part of me was disappointed to think that new owners might start pilling money into a new squad, then I Googled their owners again and up popped the connections to hitmen, stories of attempted murders and money laundering, the rejection by the UK's financial services authority over concerns about criminal activity and links to organised crime - well it just cheered me up! Possibly the most disturbing CV ever put before the FaPP testers? CSI Portsmouth - a forensic team sifts through a city's DNA desperately looking for any little differences, and also discovers there are no dental records.